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She runs C shells by the seashore.
Someone, somewhere, in the standard C library headers for my particular libc implementation, is #undef'ing assert() unconditionally and it's causing massive headaches.
Fuck the C preprocessor. There's no way I can track this down it seems, but my assert implementation is being quietly ignored and I have no recourse for it.
Gotta change all of my asserts to a different name now. Fun.
*long sigh*
rant
assert
c