Reasons I am a bad girlfriend:
- I always want hugs and kisses
- I would love you so much
- International High School Visit at Ho Chi Minh City at March 19
- I would give you gifts all the time

Reminds me of this video by MoistCritikal.

https://youtu.be/fSIEBuj2wTQ

and here I am telling ya'll I would be a bad gf b/c I'm a bad boy...

How is that bad? Sounds pretty good if you ask me.

I don't get it, is this some kind of joke?

@retoor 10q * rubs back ur back *

and with the risk of ruin ur lucky '777' will ++ u ;]

@We3D x3 nozzles pounces on you UwU I so warm :3

@retoor I was actually just thinking about you. will propose u a deal 1 of these days wich is hard to not miss ( at least from my POV ), but have to stole some time from another dimension to setup the server 1st ;}

@kiki bring it on girl, I love passion =]

@kiki So where do i apply !?

@retoor I'm sorry, which is this in this case?

@retoor noting... it stalled
... I'm even sure of @kiki intention here, but probably shy want to finish me ;)

why the white theme tho?

@retoor true black yes, but there is still a darker theme for the free users =]

@retoor people theorizing about love are the biggest losers. Wanna find love? Then don't be a scumbag. If you're not an NPC, you _will_ be interesting and lovable. Quit looking at relationships in terms of investments and returns.

Afraid of being hurt? Remember — you're a human! You have a vast heritage of intuition that is a very powerful neural network that trained over millions of years to tackle relationships specifically! Your ancestors died in millions to train it, and you have the privilege to use it now. With people, trust your gut feeling. It's always right.

Every cat is good at hunting mice solely by the virtue of being a cat. Every human is good at recognizing bad people by the virtue of being a human. There are exceptions like down syndrome, dementia, schizophrenia and whatnot, but if you're lucky and don't have them, and you're not a manipulative scumbag, you _will_ find love.

https://youtube.com/watch/...

@retoor my gf tried so hard to put me in mental clinic after a bad period after a good lsd trip... there was this poor guy on the same party gone missing, I was back to work and I cursed myself I'm not in the search team ( even though I don't know him at all. but he took something close to mine if not the same and get lost in the near forest... )....

They found him dead after a week of searching ( I was mostly searching the net for any update than working ) and I think that info broke me...

none of the so called psy docs was interested in what I had to say about how I feel, they just gave me some pills ( with no effect on me whatsoever ) and sent me home to suffer on my own...

As you can probably tell I'm much better now. The arrogance of my own family took me out of that hole, when I wasn't able to stand to live in gf parents home anymore and was about to move somewhere else they sent the cops after me to bring me back...

@retoor don't know what that is ( will check it later, after I finish the home cleaning ) but I'm with you. half a year is not small amount of time, but it's not much either. it will pass and you'll be free of that torture =)

@retoor my gf thinks that she is bipolar too and might be ( don't know much about this condition ) but I still love her... it's just that sometimes I get annoyed by her saying something and doing the opposite ( simply bc I kind of feel lied to ( provably ) ) and I'm trying to be completely transparent with her ( which again I suffer from, but I don't like to lie at all... )

@retoor hmm, still can't tell, except for the sleep depriving ( she just love to sleep. and she have a afternoon nap every day ) and happiness for no reason ( she had the opposite quite often. quick example : say we were watching a movie or smth and we laugh and all, then it comes the time for bed and she just switches in fury mode for no apparent reason ) and the dogs problems she can start cry out of nowhere and when asked what's wrong she just don't respond at all

those mental conditions... we all have a mixture of them if we start to analyze ourselves and still we love to be called a normal person ( whatever that should mean ) ;)

@retoor 😄 like I said early I've one unsuccessful attempt... someone please save me, send visa ( Mastercard or smth )

... just kidding, but maybe I should start running again so I have a better chance next time ;)

@retoor wow, so sorry to hear that. I'm both bipolar type 1 and autistic, and medication changed my life. I also have a friend that collected _every_ affective spectrum disorder. She's a painter.

We're talking psychotic episodes, suicide attempts, deep depression, well, a quite familiar picture to me, for all the wrong reasons.

She wasn't able to work, and now she's a photographer, and she's quite successful. She's also a changed person, thanks to her meds, and trust me, she didn't lose a tiny bit of what made her herself.

Her scheme is fluvoxamine 300mg, quetiapine 300mg and lithium 900mg.

@retoor iDeal sound cool.

I don't have a credit card either ( simply bc I hate the idea of living on credit and at all am trying to ask for money only when I'm sure I can return them soon ) but luckily most of the operations can be done with a debit card too =]

@retoor my situation is a bit different, as the combination of the most severe bipolar (type 1) and autism is quite rare. I took quetiapine 300mg plus lamotrigine 200mg for more than a year, to no avail — deep depression never left.

The addition of fluvoxamine was a game changer. Psychiatrists are reluctant to prescribe antidepressants to bipolar patients bc they're afraid of mania, but I found one who dared, and it saved me. I started going out of bed, eating, taking showers. Quite normal things for a regular human to do, but I barely showered before and never left my bed. I even can work now! not just at my job, but doing personal projects too!

another addition was atomoxetine. unfortunately ritalin and adderall are illegal where I live, so atomoxetine was the only option. My current scheme is quetiapine 300mg, lamotrigine 300mg, fluvoxamine 75mg, hydroxyzine 50mg and atomoxetine 30mg. I'm happier than I ever was.

@retoor but I can confirm, adding lithium alone won't make bipolar any less painful. You have to take normothymics (lamotrigine, lithium), atypical neuroleptics with antidepressive effects like quetiapine, AND ssri antidepressants like fluvoxamine (that by the way has anxiolytic side effects, anti-anxiety. not as powerful as benzodiazepines, but way safer).

@retoor the next big thing for me is moving to a rich country that has adderall, getting adderall (or ritalin), and then benzos.

anxiety should be destroyed relentlessly, entirely, with no chance of parole, for all the atrocities it did to me. I'm going all holocaust on anxiety. its days are numbered. even if it takes benzos addition, I'm willing to take it if it means the complete obliteration of anxiety.

@kiki @retoor have you tried mdma and how does you feel on it ( I know some have hard times after that and they seem to be 'normal'... at least they haven't been diagnosed with anything )

@We3D I tried LSD (about 100 micrograms), and it just gave me my typical evening's creative derealization, but in the morning. Ppl pay money to be me.

Wanna try a larger dose tho. Also, definitely want to try dmt.

@kiki me too about the dmt, it will be best to be in Peru by the supervision and guidance of a shaman, but if I manage to get my hands on some I might try to smoke some ( since the effects are with much shorter duration )

@retoor I was once in such situation : can't stop dancing or moving, but was caused by speed and on a party so probably not exactly the same...

@kiki also I can confirm ( at least by my perceptions ) that in small dosage the lsd really feels like mdma

@retoor I've tried shrooms and sclerotia ( small amounts of 1st and a bit more the 2nd ), but without effect and I really want to giggle from that too ;)

@retoor @We3D bruh you guys are hardcore. I've only tried alcohol and weed and I was like, done.

I don't plan on trying anything after that, but let's see where life takes me.

@retoor also I can't say I'm addicted to any of them ( except the weed, but I can live without it too, just love to have it arround most of the time ) and it's not the fact that we don't have all of them here constantly ( I still have some mdma left from the last party and I'm not in a rush to consume it ) I mainly do such things on a party and we don't have much good here so basically 1-3 times per year and in moderate amounts ( just enough to keep me dancing ;) )

@retoor I had checked Haldol and on the page I went there was not much info, but 1 thing cought my attention :

it said it helps to stop hallucinations ( not sure what condition you have to be for that, they didn't say ).

The thing that I was wondering about is : when you take lsd or similar you know you can expect such things, but if you ( caused by your condition and I don't mean exactly you but in general ) see hallucinations without taking any substance, how do you distinguish them from all the normal stuff you see? I mean how can you know ( except if the thing disappears quickly ) what is 'real' and what not?

@retoor when I was in that state I not exactly prayed but was more or less trying to reach any god I've heard of...

none replied...

and I'm still atheist ;)

on the topic of hallucinations : I'm sure most of the ppl ( had asked few and they confirmed ) have this kind of matrix glitches where you think you see something and when you get closer you realize it's completely another thing ( when you are in a vehicle is much more noticeable... maybe is related to the speed? )

can't quite get what you mean god was everywhere, but according to christianity that is true, so no big deal there ;)

also if we look at it in another cosmic way that is true too. the universe is in us as well as we are in it, the only thing that's not clear in this pov is why we have access to all the good intel...

@retoor also I've kind if were in parallel universe... hard to explain it all, but for example for over a year I wasn't hearing any bird song in the near forest, no matter which part of the year it is...

@retoor that's nice and pretty accurate. did you tried it with sorta normal complaining full of fucks?

@retoor I was @ bench party and just scrolled it to check the pics and believe it or not when I stoped at the positive wordcloud apart NFT the first think that cought my attention was shroom...

will check it tomorrow thks :*