Not a rant but a piece of advice.
Try drink coke (Coca-Cola) instead of coffee. Besides waking you up, it will give food from your brain.
It helped me a lot as a programmer when coffee couldn't do it

Too much sugar and diet coke is nasty. just drink some water after coffee.

protein bars. can eat with one hand and type with the other. some days they're the only reason I don't starve.

Sorry bud, but this is some pretty terrible advice. Some studies say that soda is almost as bad as smoking.

and when that dossent work, start doing drugs! yea

This is terrible advice

@vinerz Gotta disagree... I get its healthy, but caffeine gives an actual HIGH. 10g of sugar from an apple doesn't do shit for me.

Coca-cola, packed with sugar. Increase your waistline and decrease your health. Dissolve your teeth and increased risk of type 2 diabetes, which is related to weight gain. Don't touch the stuff, same goes for all the stimulation drinks (red bull et al).