My day has come...

I'll help you out - Canon. Here they go: http://canonproprinters.com/

Don't tell them prices, let them find that out (ink prices as well), and of course don't suggest the base model but something like pro-4000. If that fails i can find you some more really expensive printers. They'll give up eventually.

On the other hand, these are actually great if anyone is wondering.

I know this feel

@pajaja
I've never had a problem with HP printers. Hardware always works, ink is inexpensive, software is easy to use.

They even work no hassles under Linux!

@RiderExMachina I don't know shit about ordinary printers because I don't need them, the comment above was a joke :D The cheapest model of that Canon line costs 1200-1300$ and it uses 12 (yes, twelve) separate cartridges. I love suggesting overpriced (but excellent) products to people that do this kind of things

@pajaja
You're living up to your name, I see

I dont understand how ancient artillary should print files

The only real printer is a dot matrix printer.