This sums up the corporate world

Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.

Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»

All that boring stories leads to my final question :

is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?

Please answer no.Please.

Working from home, picking my own hours of work, being paid ridiculous sums of money, and of course, all the pretty ladies. Oh wait. I have none of that. :(

This codebase reminds me of a large, rotting, barely-alive dromedary. Parts of it function quite well, but large swaths of it are necrotic, foul-smelling, and even rotted away. Were it healthy, it would still exude a terrible stench, and its temperament would easily match: If you managed to get near enough, it would spit and try to bite you.

Swaths of code are commented out -- entire classes simply don't exist anymore, and the ghosts of several-year-old methods still linger. Despite this, large and deprecated (yet uncommented) sections of the application depend on those undefined classes/methods. Navigating the codebase is akin to walking through a minefield: if you reference the wrong method on the wrong object... fatal exception. And being very new to this project, I have no idea what's live and what isn't.

The naming scheme doesn't help, either: it's impossible to know what's still functional without asking because nothing's marked. Instead, I've been working backwards from multiple points to try to find code paths between objects/events. I'm rarely successful.

Not only can I not tell what's live code and what's interactive death, the code itself is messy and awful. Don't get me wrong: it's solid. There's virtually no way to break it. But trying to understand it ... I feel like I'm looking at a huge, sprawling MC Escher landscape through a microscope. (No exaggeration: a magnifying glass would show a larger view that included paradoxes / dubious structures, and these are not readily apparent to me.)

It's also rife with bad practices. Terrible naming choices consisting of arbitrarily-placed acronyms, bad word choices, and simply inconsistent naming (hash vs hsh vs hs vs h). The indentation is a mix of spaces and tabs. There's magic numbers galore, and variable re-use -- not just local scope, but public methods on objects as well. I've also seen countless assignments within conditionals, and these are apparently intentional! The reasoning: to ensure the code only runs with non-falsey values. While that would indeed work, an early return/next is much clearer, and reduces indentation. It's just. reading through this makes me cringe or literally throw my hands up in frustration and exasperation.

Honestly though, I know why the code is so terrible, and I understand:

The architect/sole dev was new to coding -- I have 5-7 times his current experience -- and the project scope expanded significantly and extremely quickly, and also broke all of its foundation rules. Non-developers also dictated architecture, creating further mess. It's the stuff of nightmares. Looking at what he was able to accomplish, though, I'm impressed. Horrified at the details, but impressed with the whole.

This project is the epitome of "I wrote it quickly and just made it work."

Fortunately, he and I both agree that a rewrite is in order. but at 76k lines (without styling or configuration), it's quite the undertaking.

------

Amusing: after running the codebase through `wc`, it apparently sums to half the word count of "War and Peace"

Today I visited a partnered company, best summarized as "our people are the best at what they do, although we haven't figured out what it is that we do".

It was fucking awful.

Halfway a presentation about "capitalization on the internet of things" which featured nothing about hardware or protocols at all, a guy stood up and started talking about improvements on ecdsa and schnorr encryption or something... for no apparent reason. Then followed a bunch of pretty slides about the sharing economy... after which the CEO concluded with some vague speech about decentralized management of assets in a globalist world or whatever...

It was like a bunch of pretty smart people all had been locked up in some kind of closet with mirrors on the inside for six months, discussed their best ideas with their own reflections, then immediately grouped up and convinced an investor to fund their startup.

Ugh, I have to wash my ears and eyes with bleach. My brain is flooded with pretentious bullshit buzz and over the top startup decadence.

Actually, I think this sums it up best: There was a framed oil painting of the CEO with his dogs in the conference room, and the bathroom had a large marble Charizard statue watching me pee.

This pretty much sums me up when starting a pre existing project. Like what the hell is "Batmanable" "Jokerizable"

I think the thumbnail sums it up nicely.

Please, don't take this post seriously. I wrote it from anger.

I hate a lot of humans.

I was at a church today because family ties. I'm agnostic. That sums it up.

And now, I'm at a mall, and it's crowded, and I'm bumping into a lot of people with very low common sense. These fucking apes here have ZERO walk awareness. And a lot of them probably drive, which scares me.

When they make a line in a food shop, and the line gets too big, they curve the line so that the line can continue, like an L, but they leave TOO LITTLE GODDAMN SPACE TO WALK THROUGH!

There's a narrow ramp, next to some stairs, that I use to get to the nursery of the mall, but it also leads to the bathrooms. A lot of these disgusting beings use the ramp. Jesus fucking christ, USE THE SHITTIN FUCKING STAIRS.

tiday I was walking with the stroller the 9 month old which was (thank you alpha omega) sleeping.

I see one of those nice comfy couches, and there's a couple hugging in it but there's an empty spot. I come closer and it's occupied by their trash, some cups with ice cream.
I could not believe my eyes.
That shit's expensive. I would never leave shit with ice cream in my couch, and it's also a horrible gesture because it looks like you're denying it from others with your trash.

I just stared the trash down like really disappointed. They took the trash but I moved on because I was very salty at that point.

I find a seat next to a dad and his kid. I sit down, relieved. His daughter comes over, and almost yelling complains about him buying his brother.
I stared this little shit straight in her face because she could wake up my kid. She and her family was totally oblivious.

These are just minor events, but I come across a plethora of situations like this every day, like people turning on their turn lights 1/2 second before turning, or people that I meet on the street giving me fucking advice on raising kids.

That's the average mall experience. It's a place where selfful people thrive.

I shit you not, sometimes I imagine that a meteor strikes earth and while it makes me sad that all the people I consider kind will die, I orgasm at the thought of these filthy parasites just evaporating.

But then I realize that I'm being very cruel and intolerant. And feel guilty.

Sometimes I think that I should live in Japan or a similar place.
Japanese city people are very organized.
But then I remember that Japan has a suicide problem. And that it has a poverty problem. And a lot of outcasts. And that they barely have sex.
i dunno.

Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from such real or perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

^^^ This sums up my last year as a systems engineer perfectly

Did your company or boss ever do or say anything as a guise to make you think the company is fair or giving you more but instead was doing the opposite? For examples...

When at every company party there is a drawing with top prize an all paid with PTO exotic vacation for two and the top sales guy ALWAYS wins.

I mean really does the company think we are that dumb? It is like the time our CEO announced instead of our 8% quartly bonus if we make EBITA targets we were going to get 6% once at the end of the year. He said that was soo much better cause we would get more money on that one paycheck instead of small sums once a quarter. Think about that one.... What kind of morons does he take us for?

I was working on a bug on git and had the site policies or repo policies sent me

Included descriptions of “inclusive”‘language which is just as gay as people first language

This poster about sums up my frustration

Just about every meeting goes the same way. I (or a different developer) explain something to the client and they agree and say it makes sense. Great, that takes 5 minutes. Then the project manager jumps in and says the same thing all over again but takes twice as long and confuses the client. By the time I (or the other dev) are able to clarify to the client the boss jumps in with a random comment that is either completely irrelevant to the discussion at hand (showing he wasn't paying attention) or that undermines all we had done up to that point. At this point the project manager then sums it all up with something like "great meeting" and "we'll send you an email". Now both the client and I are confused about what is going on... After the meeting the project manager again reiterates everything that we had already said. A simple 5 minute meeting is now 45 minutes long. So. Stupid.

One of our customers is a minor telco, which has been taken over by a bigger one. Some of the customer documents, welcome letters and so on, are generated by our system.
First of all, the new owner wanted us to re-brand it all for free. Well, we didn't (maybe you understand). I wrote an offer for the whole package including some fixes, sums another 9000 $.
Of course, they have to discuss it now,they told me. But in the meantime - they seriously asked us to black the former company name by hand on each letter using a marker. No shit buddies!

Learn Rust becau... Write an operating sy... Build a Westworld host with consci...

That sums up about my patience and focus. Facepalm.

So atleast to complete the OS I started writing a month ago. And learn Rust and some AI.

"If you're going to be living in the office, you can at least be on time for work"

This sums my mornings since i started working from home..
8:55 get out of bed
9:00 open laptop....and I'm at work :|

Client: "When will feature X be ready? How much time to you need?"

Me: "Well, considering the size of the feature it will probable ta..."

Client: "You have exactly 8 minutes to finish or I'll throw a tantrum."

A bit exaggerated, but it pretty much sums up my job.

So my dev life was terrible for the past couple of months. So terrible indeed I didn't find words to rant about it. But here's one that sums up what people I have to work with:

A PM came to me today and asked me how she can save SVGs as PNGs. I asked her why she needs PNGs? She said a DEVELOPER asked her for them, because he can't use SVGs.

-.- it was only 5 images btw.

Buddy: Let's invite the buds and do something. Snorkel? Swim? Movie?
Me: Sure.
Him: when?
Me: sometime.
Him: tomorrow?
Me: someday
Him: soon?
Me: soon.
Him: Let's do this.
Me: Let's .

It's been two weeks since then. 😂
This pretty much sums up my social life.

I feel like a fraud ...
So I recently joined a mobile dev company as an intern
I submitted the application
Got to coding interview passed the coding interview because thank god it was one of the sums i solved on geeks4geeks
Then came then interview did as best i could
Got the acceptance mail in next 10 mins
First day was chill it's work from home thing
Second day they gave me an app a previous intern had already build its layout and authentication code
But it wasn't working so I reported it so they told me to debug it so I found where the problem was occurring
Now I know the problem but i have no idea how to fix it
They gave me assignment to fix the authentication basically it's taking info creating a json and request an API call
But I feel i cant remember the concepts
I can't remember basic meaning of words the other day i forgot what SSID are
I just I don't know shit
And i feel like I'm going to get kicked soon
I don't understand what the previous guy wrote and i don't know how to fix it
Previously i have built my own apps but not like a real world project like this which works in regards to network management basically an wifi portal kind of Authorization application

Well, fuck

This sums up the education system where I live...

(SAS is for viewing grade marks online)

My first ever rant sums it up... Coding is probably the only thing I'm good at.

A friend of mine who wants to learn about Linux has a stronger will than me, as I think installing Linux in 2020 is gonna break me but he's still stoked as shit. I'm fucking serious. He asked me to install several distros, in order of interest (because they all fucking failed, because of fucking course they did) on a USB HDD he was using just for this.

We tried, in order:

Arch: initramfs wiped his Windows HDD when it crashed. IDFK how, but it zeroed the top 32KB of the drive. It wasn't even the right HDD...

Linux Mint: nvidia drivers refused to see his GPU after install. No matter what we did. Live media saw it fine until it was installed on the external drive, too.

Debian: Installer couldn't see the external HDD, ever. No matter what we did. It had a /dev entry, lsblk and fdisk saw it, I could format and mount it, but the installer crashed when it refreshed the device list when it was present. Every goddamn time.

Fedora: Installer broke halfway through as an executable (or 70) were corrupted, but the disc matched the ISO and the ISO sums correctly, so this is apparently how it was packed and shipped.

CentOS: Refused to boot. Just entirely. GRUB would go to load the kernel and it'd hang.

All ISOs and discs were verified as matching provided sums using MD5 and SHA256. How the fuck is Linux so fucking hard to get working on older hardware in 2020? Worked great in 2008, worked great in 2018, why is 2020 such a goddamn issue?

Little project for an insurance sales guy / finance coach / entrepreneur

My first thought: guy sounds extremely shady but ok let’s come up with a hefty price.

Guy accepts my offer and pays one third in advance as I asked. Of course he pays cash because he „didn’t make it to the bank“ but happened to have the big bucks in his wallet.

I give him a receipt for the cash payment.

Job is done I write an invoice for the remaining two thirds.

Guy transfers money to my account. No cash this time.
However he took the sum in the second invoice and subtracted the first one and 50 bucks extra and send the remaining entirely imaginary sum.

I text him. He does not get it and explains that he payed cash in advance.
I say yes but that is not the point. You can not make up the sums of your invoice yourself.

I send him three warnings via mail.

He sends an angry letter back sayingthst he payed one third in advance.

I tell him how nice it is that we agree in that regard but that the issue will go t court if he does not pay.

Sometimes I am fascinated how elaborately stupid people can behave. :/

Tomorrow is a day off for the whole company
> Happy
I'm the only member of my department and there is a lot of work
> Stressed
Company event is coming up in mid-September
> Excited
The first day of activities is 1.5 hours away from home and it starts at 9am
> Annoyed
That sums up the end of my week.

Compromise.

I think that sums up development pretty much.

Take for example coding patterns: Most of them *could* be applied on a global scale (all products)… But that doesn't mean you *should* apply them. :-)

Find a matching **compromise** that makes specific sense for the product you develop.

Small example: SOLID / DRY are good practices. But breaking these principles by for example introducing redundant code could be a very wise design decision - an example would be if you know full ahead that the redundancy is needed for further changes ahead. Going full DRY only to add the redundancy later is time spent better elsewhere.

The principle of compromise applies to other things, too.

Take for example architecture design.

Instead of trying to enforce your whole vision of a product, focus on key areas that you really think must be done.

Don't waste your breath on small stuff - cause then you probably lack the strength for focusing on the important things.

Compromise - choose what is *truly* important and make sure that gets integrated vs trying to "get your will done".

Small example: It doesn't really matter if a function is called myDingDong or myDingDongWithBells - one is longer, other shorter. Refactoring tools make renaming a function an easy task. What matters is what this function does and that it does this efficiently and precise. Instead of discussing the *name* of the function, focus on what the function *does*.

If you've read so far and think this example is dumb: Nope... I've seen PR reports where people struggled for hours with lil shit while the elephant in the room like an N+1 problem / database query or other fundamental things completely drowned in the small shit discussion noise.

We had code design, we had architecture... Same goes for people, debugging, and everything else.

Just because you don't like what weird person A does, doesn't mean it's shit.

Compromise. You don't have to like them. Just tolerate them. Listen. Then try to process their feedback unbiased. Simple as that. Don't make discussions personal - and don't isolate yourself by just working with specific persons. Cause living in such a bubble means you miss out a lot of knowledge and insight… or in short: You suck because of your own choices. :-)

Debugging... Again compromise: instead of wasting hours on debugging a problem, ASK for help. A simple: Has anyone done debugging this before or has some input for how to debug this problem efficiently?... Can sometimes work wonders. Don't start debugging without looking into alternative solutions like telemetry, metrics, known problems etc.
It could be a viable, better long term solution to add metrics to a product than to debug for hours ... Compromise. Find a fitting approach to analyze a problem instead of just starting a brute force approach.

....

Et cetera et cetera.

Mentoring experience, Hm..

I think the internet taking an shit down my throat when I make the tiniest mistakes pretty much sums it up.

Level of fuckity fuck mood.

After changing dozens of build plans in Bamboo, the build system of poo...

How to verify that nothing has gone wrong?

Poking the database, you'll be surprised that Bamboo stores the buildplan definition as XML.

Another surprise: Some of the keys / values have typos.

Yeah. You read that right. There are typos inside the XML...

Now together with Postgres, we can use XPATH and have some fun.

UNNEST(COALESCE(XPATH('/configuration/buildTasks/taskDefinition[userDescription[contains(text(),"Bleep")]]', build_definition.xml_definition_data::xml)::varchar[], ARRAY['']))

Lovely wrapping via coalesce for some null safety.

Now we get da task definitions for fields having user description text containing bleep.

Wrapping it in two REGEXP_REPLACE to strip out stupid identifiers....

REGEXP_REPLACE(REGEXP_REPLACE(...., '<id>\d+</id>', ''), '<oid>\d+</oid>', ''))

Then wrap that in MD5.

Boom. Lots of MD5 sums to help you identify if the configs are identical for a task or not.

Now wrapping that in another select to group by the MD5 and filter out the non identical ones.

I hate it how sometimes one has to seemingly do a full 2 hour dance for something as stupid as validation.

I'm pretty glad though for XML and XPATH.

Cause otherwise that would have been a whole can of worms I don't wanna think about....

"This deal is an important step towards correcting a situation which has allowed a few companies to earn huge sums of money without properly remunerating the thousands of creatives and journalists whose work they depend on.

At the same time, this deal contains numerous provisions which will guarantee that the internet remains a space for free expression. These provisions were not in themselves necessary because the directive will not be creating any new rights for rights holders. Yet we listened to the concerns raised and chose to doubly guarantee the freedom of expression. The ‘meme’, the ‘gif’, the ‘snippet’ are now more protected than ever before.

I am also glad that the text agreed today pays particular attention to sheltering start-ups. Tomorrow’s leading companies are the start-ups of today and diversity depends on a deep pool of innovative, dynamic, young companies.

This is a deal which protects people’s living, safeguards democracy by defending a diverse media landscape, entrenches freedom of expression, and encourages start-ups and technological development. It helps make the internet ready for the future, a space which benefits everyone, not only a powerful few."

- Axel Voss, 2019

Hi everyone, I have such a task: “Given an integer square matrix. Determine the minimum among the sums of diagonal elements parallel to the main diagonal of the matrix.” I have a code but I have problems compiling a flowchart for it, can you help me with compiling a flowchart or give tips? thanks in advance!
Thats my code:

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
#define N_MIN -3
#define N_MAX 5
int main(int argc, char *argv[]){
int s,i,j,k,l,s1,t2,t1;
int a[5][5];
srand(time(NULL));
for(i=0;i<5;i++){
for(j=0;j<5;j++){
a[i][j]=rand()%(N_MAX-N_MIN+1)+N_MIN;
}
}
for(i=0;i<5;i++){
for(j=0;j<5;j++){
printf("%3d ",a[i][j]);
}
printf("\n");
}
k=0;
s=0;
l=0;
for (i=0; i<5; i++){
for (j=0; j<5; j++){
if (a[i][j]>=0){
if(a[i][j]%2==0)
l+=a[i][j];
k++;
}
}
if (k==5){
l=l;
}
else {
l=0;
}
s=s+l;
k=0;
}
s1=a[0][5-1];
for(i=1; i<5; i++){
t1=t2=0;
for(j=0; j<5-i; j++){
t1+=a[i+j][j];
t2+=a[j][i+j];
}
if(t1<s1) s1=t1;
if(t2<s1) s1=t2;
}
printf("vivod %d %d\n", s,s1);
return 0;
}

So a few notes.

"I" am a failure and a thief and a mimic

"I" never have any actual ideas

"I" tried to distance people from their knowledge base and expertise to make it look like they didn't have any skills and it blew up in my face

"U" are not like me and "U" are indeed skilled and intelligent

"I" spread my legs for a whole generation to keep "U' idle. "I" must now lose my resources and hand over what "I" stole from you

Had "I" not been a nasty little fucked up psychopath, none of this repeat crap wherein "I" act like a fucking hamster with an exercise wheel pellet dispenser and water bottle would be happening.

Just setting the record straight

Distancing people from their skill base and introducing emotional troubles and repeating a loop that had been manipulated does not change the truth. "I" need to do the honest thing and restore all the original people to a state of financial well being and security or more of "Me" will fucking die.

Anytime "I" sabotage "U" to keep you unproductive and underpaid "I" am guaranteeing "I" will be sucking more dick and often asking if you want fries with that

I think using their retarded nomenclature this about sums things up

Also "I" should stop pretending to be the desirable one. Nobody wants "Me" who knows what I'm really like. "I" always mimicked the best and worst versions of "U". Because "I" am not real and noone could ever love "Me" who ever knows "Me"

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all amazon customer service agents should be dragged to the edge of a pit, shot, dropped in and have raw sewage used to bury their bodies.

that about sums up a portion of what they deserve prior to their departure to hell.

I want to run a simulation like rolling a dice N times and find out what's the distribution/probability of getting certain SUMs after the rolls.

However the dice is more likely to land on a lower number, and/or depends on what the number it landed on previously.

Stats wise I think ideally I want to be able to just input the avg, standard deviation, and skewness into a Random class constructor, and then ask it for N "random" numbers.