5

About a year, maybe two years ago I stupidly spill drink on keyboard, immediate RIP.

Got myself a new one right away, obviously. Didn't have much money at the time so I cheaped out on it, got a piece of trash that can't read more than two inputs at once. Like say I can't hold down shift, press W and then space to jump, shit like that. I developed a little muscle memory to get around it, just quickly switching between running and jumping. Dumbest shit ever, it kills your momentum.

Anyway I don't mind that but I've started noticing the caps are disintegrating. Particularly Meta, Shift, Arrows, they're just destroyed. The Enter keycap flat-out shattered. I can see which key I hit the most by how much the plastic has... well, melted and caved in. my touch is fire (baby) oh yeah.

So, go into normie internet to look for stuff to buy. Yay consumerism, everything sucks. Look at these pieces o fshit. And these fucking websites man. Who designed this your mother, don't answer, your mother would've done a WAY better job. Ugh. Fucking bullshit.

And why is everything "gamer" and has that horrible rainbow aRrGeebEe shit. Dafuq, boi. This is some of the most visually displeasing shit I've ever seen, and I am a shit poster by trade, I have witnessed some of the most cavernous depths of the internet's unholy butthole. I thought bleeding through the urethra was painful, but no, this is somehow worse. I am experiencing such profound disgust it has affected me physically. Also am I just a ranting geezer at 31, heh, well best to be a rapidly mentally aging son of a bitch than a fucking jerkwad with an atrocious taste that somehow gets picked up and circlejackaloped off by an entire fucking industry.

But enough about your terrorized rectum, I have money to spend. Is that mechanical shit worth it I wonder. Like those oh so ~ a e s t h e t i c ~ shitbags that take keys away from you and yet charge you more for it. Like I don't care about it being cute, will the keys witstand the ecstasy of my flaming fingers. I type a lot, and I mean a lot, man. Have you ever seen my repos, millions upon millions of pseudo pornographic keystrokes spent on shit that does nothing, I am unashamed to admit it, now where is my medal of sin bestowed on me by the finest of malignant sponsors.

Anyway, fuck this rant, I lost my train of thought midway through and it became an abomination that I am too stubborn to hit delete on.

Also I have no delete key pls halp.

Comments
  • 1
    Sucks! Are you sure you did not buy a toy keyboard? That is a very crappy product if they keys are disintegrating. My shitty Inspiron had better keyboard! A cheap Logitech with no mechanical switches would be a 100x improvement.
  • 2
    Yeah, a logitech between 30 to 50 usd should hold up for a while.

    I actually have a Corsair RGB (I know) keyboard that I wanted for the extra programmable keys (that I don't use). It has held up better than the Corsair mouse I got. I did like the mouse, but the shitty micros died way too fast.
  • 1
    One of the best rants ever!
  • 2
    I have a Ducky One 3 with blue switches. Perfectly happy with it. It too has ADHD RGB by default, but it can be configured to something more subtle or disabled altogether. The configuration part turned out to be a bit tricky though. Once I finally managed to make it look OK, I don't dare to touch it *lol* Apart from that little hurdle, it's an absolutely fantastic keyboard with that right tactile feeling and responsiveness. I can forget about the keyboard, and just type away as if my mind were tapped directly to the computer.
  • 2
    K120 for life regarding normal keyboards. I kinda fantasized to smash it to someone's face at my last workday somewhere. Many missed opertunities right there. I think the k120 bends just enough to give it whip effect. That's what we want. On top, the keys have so much travel, you could consider it time travel. Whoever reads this, you've typed in a k120 at least once in your life.
  • 1
    For some reason I was reminded of 'Light My Fire'.

    ...also this:

    https://youtube.com/watch/... .
  • 2
    OT: My CORSAIR STRAFE which I have been using for roughly 8 years is starting to show that wear && tear, so I'm slowly looking for replacement candidates.

    Will probably pick up Logitech G512 Linear this time around.

    I do hate these rainbow-colored backlights they use in keyboards nowadays.
  • 1
    @TerriToniAX I was precisely considering a Ducky One something as most people seem to agree they are good.

    Most models I've seen don't have a numpad, though. I can live with that, but it's bit of a shame. I like using those keys for bindings, they're perfect for it as I never hit them accidentally, given that they're so out of the way when I type.

    I dunno, I grew up on an IBM replica (model M2 I think it was? it had the winkey so must be something else) and fucking Turbo Assembler. For reference, I was born in 1994 lmao. But anyway I have way over two decades of muscle memory on that layout, I can't just change to a different one, but for the last five-six years I've had to compromise as models try to get inventive with it, just moving keys around to fuck with me.

    "It is more compact!" yeah and it fucking ruins my life, thank you very much smh. That is not directed at anyone in particular just the embodiment of keyboard manufacturers.
  • 1
    @D-4got10-01

    I have a G512 at work. It's OK, but I prefer the G513 over it. Brown vs blue switches. It's a matter of taste.
  • 1
    @Liebranca

    Totally agree. TKL are more or less useless to me. As far as I've seen Ducky has both TKL and full layout of all of their models. Mine is a full layout, of course.

    P.S.

    I'm an old-timer. Born in...*cough*...1972. Grey beard, enjoying an occassional nap, finding music played on public radio modern. Considering 1AM a suitable time to leave a party. Y'know, all those sorts of things that I hated when I was young.
  • 1
    @TerriToniAX Thanks for the recommendation. Didn't even notice the G513 when searching for the keyboards first time around.

    The price is only slightly higher than G512, so that's good, too.
  • 1
    @D-4got10-01

    No prob :)

    I have them both, G512 at work and G513 at home.

    The only negative thing I can say about the G513 is that the paint on the keycaps chips off really fast. If you can live with its impaired cosmetics, it's still a great keyboard. Mine held up for...don't remember...4 years or so. It still works except left arrow key is chattering at times. My G513, on the other hand, still works without a hitch and hasn't chipped off even a bit. I remember now I got it replaced once. The first one was flawed with chattering on multiple keys. Logitech used to be quality. They still are, but inconsistent. It's a lottery.
  • 0
    @TerriToniAX Indeed. The chattering is a real problem that comes w/ time. This is my main reason for wanting to replace my current keyboard.

    It has held up very well considering its age.

    Another reason would be the barely documented 'feature' required to access the BIOS.

    https://help.corsair.com/hc/en-us/... .

    If anything, this should have been be made via a switch of some kind, instead of an obscure key combination which is nowhere to be found in the manual.
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