So we have a guy (Bob) leaving Friday. I am leaving him a secret admirer note and a usb drive. But in order to appreciate this I have another story to tell.

There used to be a guy (not Bob) that worked here once upon a time. He found a usb drive on his desk one day. It was loaded with naked images of another employee that was a guy (also not Bob). Also not Bob made a play, and miscalculated in the fact that not Bob was not amenable to his advances. So also not Bob ended up losing his job.

This brings us back to the story of Bob. He is leaving Friday. I am leaving a note he will find tomorrow morning that says:

"Bob, sorry to see you go. From your secret admirer."

I drew some hearts and a smiley face. As well as writing down a phone number. But of course the phone number is Ed's number.

Okay, I mentioned a usb drive. The usb drive is labeled "MISSYOUBOB". It has a folder on it named "My Photos". In this folder is pictures of goats.

I also sent this link to Bob:
https://youtube.com/watch/...

Never really had issues with Java, but this is so funny to me.

To date, the high score for toilet seat slams is 5 in one day. Not sure we will ever beat that score.

Didn't realize how disgusting Facebook was. If a girl removes her profile picture they have determined this person hates their look. So they start spamming them with makeup ads. If a person is suicidal they start spamming them with other ads they think are relevant.

This guy brought this to my attention:
https://youtube.com/watch/...

He seems to be in the trenches against, or reporting on right to repair. Not quite sure. I think he makes some interesting observations about how tech is weaponized against consumers.

We need to come up with a coding version of this. Where is a place that coders fight all the time? Some place notorious for this? We fight here, but I wouldn't compare devrant to a waffle house.

There are advantages to being really hungry and having some sensory issues. I went and got tacos from the taco bus today. I sat at my desk to eat them. I was really hungry today.

As I started eating them I could feel the hot of the salsa causing all my nerves in my mouth to really trip out. I could taste the meat, the sauce, the tortilla, and the cheese at a heightened sensation. As I was chewing the first few bites I literally shook a bit as the smorgasbord of pleasure sensations shot through my mouth. I could feel my eyes rolling back in my head. I didn't know one could have a mouthgasm. The sensations were so intense.

I have had this happen before, but never this intense or memorable. I felt like I would have been embarrassed to eat like this in front of other people. If this is something I can repeat I would be inclined to starve myself to make myself extra hungry to experience this again. What a nice surprise for lunch. Nobody expects surprise mouth sex. (Idea of new Monty Python skit?)

I have to say I would have to leave an anonymous review for the taco bus if I were to relay the mouthgasm event. Is this the start of a new fetish? Now I am sensually attracted to tacos. Well done taco bus, well done.

Inspired by netikras leg hair story reminded me of another hair story.

I was training to maintain a Bailey DCS system about 15 years ago. So I was working with the consoles and learning the software. My mentor at the time was talking to me about this. He was a heavy set fellow with a Phd in control theory. His eyes kind of naturally stuck out of his face a bit. I assume blood pressure of some sort.

mentor: "Hey, I can see you have working on the consoles on the system."

me: "How is that?"

mentor: "I found a curly hair." (I have curly hair when it gets longer.)

me: <me, saying this very slowly and deliberately> "How...curly...was...it?"

At this point he started laughing by rapidly blowing air out of his nose, his eyes bulged out further, he kept his mouth mostly closed. He was trying to be professional and not laugh at such base joke.

me: "I mean if its really curly it could be anyone."

Then he lost it and started laughing out loud. We never spoke about it ever again.

So today I have been feeling some sort of weird anxiety. Way beyond normal. It has slowly been building all day. Right now my ears feel hot, any kind of deviation from what I expect causes me to feel those anxiety pangs as I deal with this event. Driving has felt somewhat surreal today. I felt like I was in control the whole time, but cars being next to me made me extra jumpy.

I assume this is some kind of chemical shit going on that I don't understand. Just wish I knew what was causing this shit.

I feel behind at work and found out I have some rando elevated liver function going on. Nothing I can't logic myself through. What I am feeling does not feel proportionate to what is happening in my life right now.

Somebody suggested eating substitute bath salts...

So I have started looking into torrenting anime. In the past I just did it and didn't worry about it. But I have been hearing about internet carriers cracking down on this. Apparently my ISP has a tiered approach to this. They will notify and escalate all the way up to account termination. So I found that interesting. But that is not is what is most interesting. The interesting part was the AI response when I searched if my ISP will do anything:

What to do if you receive a DMCA notice:

1. Review the notice: Identify the copyrighted content in question.

2. Stop the infringing activity: Remove the infringing content from your devices and stop sharing it.

3. Consider a VPN and private trackers: This can help prevent future notices.

4. Contact CenturyLink: If you receive a notice, you may need to contact CenturyLink to confirm receipt or discuss the issue.

So with 3, the AI casually tells me how to continue breaking the law. lol

Lensflare! WTF did you do?!

https://reddit.com/r/Asmongold/...

I know some of Germany has been regressing, but this is terrible!

LOL

So the gaming industry was having huge profits (2024?), then they decided to layoff a bunch of people for "reasons", which displaced a bunch of people in the industry, who then became indies and are making good money, and people working for studios are salty about something they caused?

https://reddit.com/r/gaming/...

How cancerous do you have to be in your industry to be pissed at people trying to recover from your cancer?

"deprofessionalization" is this corporate speak for "doesn't have a cushy middle management job at EA"? I tried looking up the meaning and came away even more confused. You aren't a real gaming dev if you don't work for a huge studio?

Weird way to de-legitimize people who had to look for work elsewhere. The people who left or got laid off are escaping a shitscape for sure.

One thing I like to do online is obscure references to old movies. If someone says or does something in a forum that reminds me of a character from a movie I will say: "Hello <character's name>" If the name is recognized people will say so because it is a fun thing. Or they will respond with quotes from that character. Other people will join in on this too. An example of this is calling someone Raymond who estimates the exact number of things in a picture. This is a reference to the character Raymond from the movie Rain Man. This character was autistic and could could numbers of things instantly accurately.

However there is a chance the name is so obscure that it just sounds weird. Nobody gets it. Maybe they recognize it is a reference maybe not. This goes unnoticed and unheeded.

There is an even more remote chance that this is in fact the person's actual IRL name. However, if they are on a semi anonymous platform then they cannot confront the person calling them by that name because that would out them. Also, if they PM me about it they are outed again. So if this occurs this person will now wonder how the fuck someone knows their real name. Silent torture and wondering about it for a couple of days.

Learning embedded C/C++ on some TI chips. Need an httpclient for some specific tasks. The docs for the library are almost non-existent. No examples. I search and find examples from 7 years ago (none official). Wild.

There was another library I was using, but apparently it has internal issues and is not being updated anymore. I am using the "supported" library apparently.

Writing network code for desktop: easy peasy. Writing it for embedded: wtf is this shit?

Product idea:
Create an app to dox people. Then with poor coding skills dox the entire app community.

Spam Wars: Return of Jedi?

We have a new game my coworker Landon and I are playing. There are two high use restrooms near our offices. There is another coworker (male) that likes to use these restrooms. If the toilet seat is left up he will go into the restroom and slam the toilet seat down. I have no idea if he is angry or just oblivious when slamming the seat down.

The game is to see how many slams we can get in a day. We will go "reset" the board when nobody is in there. (Resetting being lifting the seat up.) The current record is 4 slams in one day. We nearly got 5 yesterday. The clock literally ran out and there was no overtime yesterday.

Yes, this is a stupid game. We laugh our asses off every time we hear the seat slam down. We are taking friendly bets as to when the seat or the bowl breaks from the repeated trauma.

Note: the slamming coworker is in a wheel chair. AITAH?

Unofficial slogans for programming languages:

Javascript - JustShitting out frameworks every week.

Python - Shit programmers become slightly less shit and call themselves "data scientists" here.

C# - We know we are better than you, and even though we don't need to say it, we will say it anyway.

Pascal - The only recognized version of Pascal is from one single vendor.

Haskell - Stay is school if you want to use this professionally.

Swift - (honestly don't know what to say here, Lensflare can fill in on this one.) Maybe this: The first rule of Swift club is we don't talk about Apple club.

Java/Kotlin - We are in everything, including your mom's vibrator.

C - The rest of the programming world doesn't exist. Especially in embedded. Happily using K & R compilers for 3 decades.

C++ - We will pretend to care about the rest of the programming world, but like C, we will do whatever the fuck we want. or, Being held back by the ABI for at least a decade.

Rust - I feel bad for you for using other programming languages.

These are probably highly inaccurate, mostly just wanted to talk about Java being in your mom's sex toy.

Gaming is starting to look like it is mimicking the movie industry. People paying new game prices for fucking reskins of old games. What a shit show. It is bad enough when movies are so formularic its just trash. But now gaming industry is doing this shit with reskins.

As always, even with new original titles or reskins or sequels. Wait for the $5 Steam sale in 5 years. If it didn't hold up and garner a community, then it was probably shit to begin with.

I almost never watch movies anymore. Filled with garbage content now. I hope hollywood dies and never comes back. Sick fucks.

Why does big gaming have to follow that stupid ass model? At least in gaming you have indies that are trying not to be absolute shit.

"Bitcrack Recovery Experts"
How I imagine their logo to look:

Was replacing the water bottle at the water cooler. Thought it would be funny to make a cartoon about it being an office workout routine. Generated this image, but realized it could make a funny coding meme instead.

💩 Behold the true power of AI! 💩
💩💩 ChatGPT is just a shitpost enabler. 💩💩

💩
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💩💩💩
💩💩💩💩
💩💩💩💩💩

Lets assume you don't know anything about industrial protocols. You are also working for a very high profile and very technically inclined company. Your job is to figure out how to get data over a network interface using a specific standard port. The protocol in use is THE standard for information systems in the industry: opcua.

How much hand holding do you need?

I am actually shocked at the amount of technical ineptitude of the people we have interfaced with. How did they get in the door?

When I first started out in my industrial controls career I just read whatever manuals and websites I could find. Do people not do that anymore?

I want to scream: RTFM Mother Fucker!

This is so true. A month or two goes by and it is like learning certain pieces of code over again.

So my coworker was walking toward the door to leave today. I said, "Enjoy the next 24 hours." He stopped and said, "Why?". I laughed and said, "I was just saying 'Have a nice day.'"

Why does it sound so ominous when you say it like that?

During a safety meeting on Monday we talked about different potential emergency hazards in our area. One person mentioned Yellowstone National Park caldera. It is supposed to be one of the largest super volcanoes on Earth. I joked that it will be blowing up "next week". Everyone got a good laugh.

Then today a random person I share a chat with on a forum online said something. They said the mountain lions have been fleeing the park for a while. They said the bears are now fleeing the park.

I told Ed this. He laughed and said: "You shouldn't have said that." I said: "No shit..."

We will see how much spam I get I guess:

devrantfuckers @ demolishun dot com

You know what to do. I would hate to never talk to people here again. Well, at least the non-assholes. You know who you are! lol

So some dude posted about getting Erik the Slayer as a follower in Skyrim. He then proceeded to sacrifice Erik to the deadra Boethia. He humorously called him "Erik the Slayed". The r/Skyrim community started freaking out (I laughed personally) because Erik the Slayer was an actual TES fan that died of cancer. Bethesda honored Erik West by creating a character named after him. Erik never actually got to play Skyrim because he died before they released the game.

Consequently the dude got downvoted to hell. Some of the funniest shit happens on that sub.

https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wik... (look in Trivia section)

https://reddit.com/r/skyrim/...

So in Skyrim you can pickpocket people. However as the value of the item increases the success chance reduces. This is dependent upon skills and perks. The formula practically caps at 2100 or so, but the minimum chance of 1% caps at like 3500 or so. There is a trick around this.

You can sneak a potion of paralysis into someone's inventory and they will drink it. This allows for you to be able to succeed no matter the value of the item. I have decided to dub this method the: "Cosby Method".

Well, its been a ride folks!