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week 4 of meditating now
emotional control is nice but turns out you get so good at being sensitive to yourself and noticing things in your own nervous system that you get phantom itches everywhere that you cannot scratch and they drive you crazy, both while meditating and outside meditating... AI says it's some kind of error-predicting neuroplasticity going on in the somatosensory cortex, misfiring "for now"... sigh. release me from this hell. apparently this is gonna get worse before it gets better at my stage, too
I just wanna be a jedi, come on now...
rant