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At the data restaurant:
Chef: Our freezer is broken and our pots and pans are rusty. We need to refactor our kitchen.
Manager: Bring me a detailed plan on why we need each equipment, what can we do with each, three price estimates for each item from different vendors, a business case for the technical activities required and an extremely detailed timeline. Oh, and do not stop doing your job while doing all this paperwork.
Chef: ...
Boss: ...
Some time later a customer gets to the restaurant.
Waiter: This VIP wants a burguer.
Boss: Go make the burger!
Chef: Our frying pan is rusty and we do not have most of the ingredients. I told you we need to refactor our kitchen. And that I cannot work while doing that mountain of paperwork you wanted!
Boss: Let's do it like this, fix the tech mumbo jumbo just enough to make this VIP's burguer. Then we can talk about the rest.
The chef then runs to the grocery store and back and prepares to make a health hazard hurried burguer with a rusty pan.
Waiter: We got six more clients waiting.
Boss: They are hungry! Stop whatever useless nonsense you were doing and cook their requests!
Cook: Stop cooking the order of the client who got here first?
Boss: The others are urgent!
Cook: This one had said so as well, but fine. What do they want?
Waiter: Two more burgers, a new kind of modern gaseous dessert, two whole chickens and an eleven seat sofa.
Chef: Why would they even ask for a sofa?!? We are a restaurant!
Boss: They don't care about your Linux techno bullshit! They just want their orders!
Cook: Their orders make no sense!
Boss: You know nothing about the client's needs!
Cook: ...
Boss: ...
That is how I feel every time I have to deal with a boss who can't tell a PostgreSQL database from a robots.txt file.
Or everytime someone assumes we have a pristine SQL table with every single column imaginable.
Or that a couple hundred terabytes of cold storage data must be scanned entirely in a fraction of a second on a shoestring budget.
Or that years of never stored historical data can be retrieved from the limbo.
Or when I'm told that refactoring has no ROI.
Fuck data stack cluelessness.
Fuck clients that lack of basic logical skills.4 -
The solution for this one isn't nearly as amusing as the journey.
I was working for one of the largest retailers in NA as an architect. Said retailer had over a thousand big box stores, IT maintenance budget of $200M/year. The kind of place that just reeks of waste and mismanagement at every level.
They had installed a system to distribute training and instructional videos to every store, as well as recorded daily broadcasts to all store employees as a way of reducing management time spend with employees in the morning. This system had cost a cool 400M USD, not including labor and upgrades for round 1. Round 2 was another 100M to add a storage buffer to each store because they'd failed to account for the fact that their internet connections at the store and the outbound pipe from the DC wasn't capable of running the public facing e-commerce and streaming all the video data to every store in realtime. Typical massive enterprise clusterfuck.
Then security gets involved. Each device at stores had a different address on a private megawan. The stores didn't generally phone home, home phoned them as an access control measure; stores calling the DC was verboten. This presented an obvious problem for the video system because it needed to pull updates.
The brilliant Infosys resources had a bright idea to solve this problem:
- Treat each device IP as an access key for that device (avg 15 per store per store).
- Verify the request ip, then issue a redirect with ANOTHER ip unique to that device that the firewall would ingress only to the video subnet
- Do it all with the F5
A few months later, the networking team comes back and announces that after months of work and 10s of people years they can't implement the solution because iRules have a size limit and they would need more than 60,000 lines or 15,000 rules to implement it. Sad trombones all around.
Then, a wild DBA appears, steps up to the plate and says he can solve the problem with the power of ORACLE! Few months later he comes back with some absolutely batshit solution that stored the individual octets of an IPV4, multiple nested queries to the same table to emulate subnet masking through some temp table spanning voodoo. Time to complete: 2-4 minutes per request. He too eventually gives up the fight, sort of, in that backhanded way DBAs tend to do everything. I wish I would have paid more attention to that abortion because the rationale and its mechanics were just staggeringly rube goldberg and should have been documented for posterity.
So I catch wind of this sitting in a CAB meeting. I hear them talking about how there's "no way to solve this problem, it's too complex, we're going to need a lot more databases to handle this." I tune in and gather all it really needs to do, since the ingress firewall is handling the origin IP checks, is convert the request IP to video ingress IP, 302 and call it a day.
While they're all grandstanding and pontificating, I fire up visual studio and:
- write a method that encodes the incoming request IP into a single uint32
- write an http module that keeps an in-memory dictionary of uint32,string for the request, response, converts the request ip and 302s the call with blackhole support
- convert all the mappings in the spreadsheet attached to the meetings into a csv, dump to disk
- write a wpf application to allow for easily managing the IP database in the short term
- deploy the solution one of our stage boxes
- add a TODO to eventually move this to a database
All this took about 5 minutes. I interrupt their conversation to ask them to retarget their test to the port I exposed on the stage box. Then watch them stare in stunned silence as the crow grows cold.
According to a friend who still works there, that code is still running in production on a single node to this day. And still running on the same static file database.
#TheValueOfEngineers2 -
Two things before this all:
- I fucking love gitlab so far
- I miss the fuzzy searching from sublime text, as vsCode still can't do it properly..
I was fed up with all the shitty overbloated git deployment scripts, sync scripts, automatic backup solutions and hosted git servers out there, so now my own solution is:
- remote git cloned local files
- local files are synced via dropbox, to easily edit them on any device
- all changes and deleted files are saved up to 1 year on dropbox
- remote has gitlab running and webhooks setup
- the webhooks point to my node scripts, which then rebase the code to its dedicated dev server
- daily server backup with 7 days roll
- cold storage backup each 30 days
Sounds like overkill, but from my experience, you really can't have enough places that have a backup, especially coldstorage backups.
My goal in general though is to have everything on my computer backupped and ready to go asap, if something happens.
I wanted to just use a virtual machine for development stuff, but that wouldnt be able to run on my laptop, so I need a more general solution, where I sync all configs and all projects across. (and have some sort of basic list of tools needed, so I dont need to remember them)
Found for example something for vscode to sync its settings and plugins via any sort of git, will give it a try in near future too.
7 -
Progress since my last post - quite like where the iterations since the cold design got me, next is the actual rant view and then will implement all sort of auth things like posting comments.
Have also figured out a way to have style and script plugins, haven't tried it yet though, especially with storage rulesets it might not be as smooth as I imagine it to be.
Another screenshot in the comments.
2 -
What do you consider the best method for long-term cold data storage? And why?
I was looking at some magnetic tapes, but the degradation of magnetic charge is worrying me. Lose a single bit and you're fucked.
Dvds - not sure, some of my old ones are no longer readable. Not sure why tho, they had been enclosed in a dark, room-temp place all the time
hdds -- still magnetic.
Ssds? Idk
...?12 -
HOW TO HIRE A GENUINE CRYPTO RECOVERY SERVICE HIRE ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST
I had been meticulously building my cryptocurrency portfolio for years, carefully investing and diversifying my holdings. But in a single, devastating moment, it all vanished. My heart sank as I realized that my Bitcoin, worth a staggering $80,000, had been stolen from my digital wallet. I was devastated, my trust in the digital world shattered. I had heard the horror stories of crypto theft, but I never imagined it would happen to me. I felt helpless, unsure of where to turn or what to do next. The thought of losing my hard-earned savings was overwhelming, and I knew I had to take action. The ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team, a team of highly qualified cybersecurity specialists that focused on locating and retrieving stolen digital assets, was what I discovered at that point. Initially dubious, I made the decision to get in touch after reading their stellar record and client endorsements. Email info: Adwarerecoveryspecialist@ auctioneer. net The ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team got to work as soon as I called them. They asked me specific questions concerning the theft and the actions I had already taken as they listened carefully to my account. I could tell they were sympathetic and understanding right away, and I knew I was in capable hands. The team quickly got to work, utilizing their extensive network of contacts and cutting-edge investigative techniques to trace the movement of my stolen Bitcoin. They scoured the dark web, analyzed blockchain transactions, and employed advanced forensic tools to uncover the trail of the thieves. I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster. There were moments of hope, followed by periods of frustration and doubt. But the ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team never wavered in their commitment to finding my stolen assets. And then, I received a call that would change everything. The team had managed to locate the digital wallet where my Bitcoin was being held. They had painstakingly pieced together the puzzle, following a complex web of transactions and shell companies, to finally pinpoint the culprits. The next step was to negotiate with the thieves, a delicate and high-stakes process that required the utmost skill and finesse. The ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team approached the situation with the utmost professionalism, engaging in a series of tense discussions and carefully crafted strategies. With a deep breath, I agreed to the terms, and within a matter of days, my Bitcoin was back in my possession. The relief I felt was indescribable. It was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I could finally breathe easy again. WhatsApp info:+12723 328 343 But the journey didn't end there. The ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team went above and beyond, providing me with comprehensive support and guidance to ensure the security of my digital assets moving forward. They helped me implement robust security measures, including multi-factor authentication, cold storage solutions, and regular monitoring of my accounts. Today, I am more vigilant than ever when it comes to the protection of my digital wealth. I have become an advocate for cryptocurrency security, sharing my story and the invaluable lessons I've learned with others in the community. And whenever I see the ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST Team's name, I am reminded of the power of perseverance, the importance of trust, and the transformative impact that skilled professionals can have on our lives.
31 -
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At any rate, I had always counted myself as a very savvy Bitcoin Holder-a real crypto enthusiast of both the virtual streets of the Reddit community and Wall Street-having kept a cool $10 million in Bitcoin safely tucked away in cold storage. That all changed, though, after a freak occurrence-a weird tech glitch and my own bit of carelessness cost me access to my wallet. The FUD hit me heavy, with worse-case scenarios whirring within my mind in overdrive. I contacted a few recovery agents, only to be faced each time with hyped promises and an array of technical babble, none of which provided reassurance. Each agent assured me they could do magic and get my states restored. Instead, all I got were vague assurances about nothing concrete from any of them. I began to question everything from the security to my due diligence, to my diamond hands. I was stuck in this vicious circle of FOMO and regret, thinking how one could recover what's basically digital gold locked away in a blockchain.
Having reached a breaking point, well-nigh flinging in the towel, I retreated to my favorite haunt-Reddit. I scrolled through some posts on r/Bitcoin and other crypto forums until I chanced upon this game-changing thread. A user, clearly wrung through the emotional wringer, gave his testimony of a service called (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY). They detailed how this team, after many failed attempts with other recovery services, could trace their lost Bitcoin and actually restore access to their wallet. His posts had "to the moon," "HOLD on tight," and "DYOR" like classic Reddit garnishes, which really hit close to home with me. Skeptical but desperate, I reached out to FOLKWINEXPERTRECOVERY(at)TECH-CENTER. C O M, What's app:+1 (740)705-0711. I explained my situation, half-expecting another round of disappointing responses. Instead, their team was surprisingly responsive and professional, treating my case like some high-priority mission deep into the digital labyrinth where my Bitcoin was lost. Over the following weeks, I received regular updates while they meticulously traced my funds using state-of-the-art blockchain forensic tools. Then came the call that I had been looking for: They had recovered my $10-million Bitcoin wallet. It was greatly relieving-beyond words-just a miracle right before the eyes. At (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY), not only did they salvage my fortune but also my lost faith in this crypto space. If ever you are caught in the same bind, take it from me-never lose hope, and never ditch the experts. (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY) is not one of those services; it's the real deal when it comes to turning disasters around into epic comeback stories.
Regards,
Lissette Rodriguez.
1 -
I Could Hardly Breathe! Months of tireless fundraising had finally come through for my small nonprofit, and we had $300,000 in Bitcoin to supply food, shelter, and medical aid to refugees fleeing war. That fund was hope, a future for families who had no other place to turn. It all fell apart in an instant. Our treasurer, a man I'd trusted like a brother, vanished overnight and took the entire fund with him. I was heartbroken. The weight of the people who were depending on us pressed against my chest. I could hardly breathe. I looked at my screen, powerless to do anything as the blockchain ledger confirmed my worst nightmare, the funds had been moved through a series of wallets, vanished into thin air.
Sleepless and remorseful, I consulted a crisis management expert in a desperate phone call. With the calm, panic-slashing tone of her voice, she spoke GRAYWARE TECH SERVICES . Her confidence was the sort that spoke of seen miracles. At that straw of hope, I grasped and called them immediately.
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I got down on my knees and wept. $300,000 was safely recovered to our nonprofit wallet. But GRAYWARE TECH SERVICES didn't hesitate. They guided us through implementing enhanced security measures, such as multi-signature wallets, cold storage solutions, and rigorous internal oversight. They even advised us on vetting future financial officers.
Our mission is stronger today than ever. Refugee families are still being assisted, and I sleep well knowing our funds are secure. GRAYWARE TECH SERVICES not only retrieved our Bitcoin, they restored my faith in resiliency and human kindness.
1 -
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A crypto influencer on TikTok posted about his $100,000 recovery with Rapid Digital Recovery. I was hyped along with him and decided to follow it, just in case. At that time, I wasn't worried, as I did have everything: two-factor authentication, backups on cold storage, and strong passwords. I thought I was untouchable. Wrong.
Months later, I woke up to a nightmare: my wallet, holding $320,000, was completely drained. I checked my email-nothing. I checked my security logs-no alerts. How did this happen? I scrambled through every account, searching for clues. That's when I saw it—a phishing attack. I had clicked on a link for a fake update weeks prior, and the hackers had been patiently waiting for their moment.
Panic set in. I scoured the internet for solutions, but every forum post, every so-called "expert" I contacted-all were saying the same thing: Once it's gone, it's gone. But then I remembered that TikTok post. I DMed the influencer, desperate for an honest answer: Is Rapid Digital Recovery actually legit? The response came immediately. "100%. They saved me. Reach out now."
Website: https: // rapid digital recovery. org
That was all I needed. I contacted Rapid Digital Recovery, hoping for a miracle. From the very first message, they were professional, calm, and insanely knowledgeable. They asked the right questions, identified how my funds had been stolen, and immediately set their forensic recovery tools in motion. While I was drowning in anxiety, they worked methodically, patiently, and relentlessly.
What sapp: +1 4.14 8.0 71.4 8.5
Hours felt like days, then the message came: "We've recovered your funds." I reread it a total of three times. Every last dollar was back. I had gone from devastation to absolute disbelief and relief.
Not only did they recover my money, but they also educated me on what had gone wrong. They walked me through better security practices, helped me secure my wallets properly, and ensured that I'd never fall for the same trick again.
That TikTok post? It saved me. And now, I'm the one telling everyone I know: Follow Rapid Digital Recovery before you ever need them.
Email: rapid digital recovery (@) execs. com
1 -
SURVIVING THE BYBIT HACK HOW CRYPTO RECOVERY CONSULTANT SECURE MY ASSETS
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1 -
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I had survived economic crises before as a small business owner in Buenos Aires, but nothing like this. Argentina’s peso was in freefall—prices doubled overnight, and inflation shredded my savings. Desperate to protect what I had left, I put $310,000 into Bitcoin. It felt like a lifeline.
Then the blackout hit.
In an instant, my phone was fried—along with the password storage app holding my wallet keys. My safety net had vanished.
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In a collapsing economy, hope is the most valuable currency. ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST didn’t just restore my funds—they restored my faith in resilience. While others scrambled to survive, I was restocking my shelves and helping others transition to Bitcoin with the lessons I had learned.
They were my digital gauchos, riding in to save the day.
Gracias, ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST.
1 -
BEST AGENCY TO RECOVER SCAMMED CRYPTO-CONTACT SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY
Flying a Boeing 787? Piece of cake. Decrypting a malfunctioning Trezor wallet? That's nose diving into chaos. I have done emergency landings, handled unpredictable weather, and passengers that think they can open the emergency exit during flight. But nothing, not even years of aviation training, prepared me for the moment my cold storage wallet refused to recognize my PIN. I knew I was punching in what was correct, but my Trezor stared back at me like I was an imposter in my own cockpit.
At first, I thought it was a simple mistake. Perhaps fat fingers? A misremembered digit? But after several attempts, I realized something was seriously wrong. The more I tried, the more the wallet locked me out, and it dawned on me harder than a rogue crosswind: My $750,000 worth of Bitcoin was slipping through my fingers.
I did what any reasonable person would do in such a situation-panicked. Then came the hours of browsing through forums, watching tutorials, and trying every trick in the book. One suggested freezing my device, another insisted on some arcana firmware rollback method. Nothing worked. At this point, I had all but thrown myself at the mercy of the fates.
Long-haul flight, cruising at 36,000 feet- that is where I happened upon Salvage Asset Recovery. I was skeptical, but desperation makes you reconsider everything: after all, if the device manufacturer couldn't help me out, how on earth could these guys? The moment I landed, I called them.
From the first conversation I had with them, I knew I had chosen rightly. Their team was professional, knowledgeable, and reassuring in explaining the forensic recovery process-how it all works in a no-nonsense explanation with no vague tech jargon or false promises.
Within just five days, they had bypassed the PIN problem, restored my Bitcoin, and pointed out safety recommendations to make sure I would never find myself in this kind of situation again. Their work was faultless-a perfect landing.
I can fly through turbulence, respond to in-flight emergencies, and cross the world without breaking a sweat. But when it comes to rescuing locked Bitcoin from a malfunctioning cold storage wallet? That's a job for Salvage Asset Recovery. If your crypto is in freefall, don't reach for the eject button-call them, and they'll get you flying again. Their contact details
TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
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1 -
SOLUTION FOR CRYPTO SCAM HIRE SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
YOU CAN REACH OUT TO THEM ON THEIR CONTACT INFO BELOW:
Email: spartan tech (@) cyber services . c o m OR support(@) spartan tech group retrieval. o r g
Website: h t t p s : / / spartan tech group retrieval . o r g
WhatsApp: + 1 ( 9 7 1 ) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Telegram: + 1 ( 5 8 1 ) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
I had built my mining enterprise with precision and aspiration, powering my rigs with clean energy and keeping my painstakingly acquired Bitcoin reserves in state-of-the-art cold storage. My dream of economic freedom and technological triumph was found in a wallet worth $340,000 in Bitcoin. And then one day a one-in-a-trillion solar flare hit with the impact of a thousand suns. That magnificent burst of energy was my ruin as it toasted my mining gear and wiped out my cold storage, leaving my digital riches in ashes. I was devastated. I stared at the charred remnants of my rigs, shocked as if the blaze itself from the sun had stolen my future and all my dreams were evaporated in a single blinding moment. In desperation I turned to my fellow workers in the mine, hoping that there was a ray of hope in the eyes of those who had weathered similar storms. A seasoned miner, whose survival tales of overcoming the chaotic cryptocurrency landscape were the stuff of legend, attested to the capability of SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. He assured me that their team of engineers had a magical ability for money recovery from even the worst of hardware malfunctions. I clung to it as a miner would cling to a rich ore vein. I reached out to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL and explained my case. They were quick and reassuring in their reply. Their engineers sprang into action with a zeal and focus that was like a rescue operation of utmost importance. They used advanced data reconstruction techniques to dig through the wreckage of my hacked cold storage, meticulously extracting every scrap of my personal keys as if they were unwinding an ancient digital manuscript. Their process was thorough, systematic, and breathtaking. Twelve anxious and drawn-out days later, the breakthrough came. My wallet had been found and all the last satoshis of my $340,000 stash were mine again. It was sheer relief, a blend of euphoria and shock which felt close to miraculous. If SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL can outsmart the relentless sun and restore what was irretrievably lost, then nothing is too impossible for them. Their expertise not only recovered my cash but also restored my faith in the endurance of technology and human ingenuity. I now share my story with everybody who is faced with a comparable crisis, confident that these SPARTAN can retrieve anything and turn even the worst cosmic disasters into a victory for all.
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