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An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
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I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me
Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.
##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##
Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭28 -
*Facebook Hackers follow the Rules*
(real story)
TL;DR: sorry, not available, can't do spoilers
One night I was with a group of friends out at a pub. A guy and his girlfriend show up, I didn't know them but they were my friend's friends.
The girl kept bragging the whole time about his boyfriend being a professional programmer, trying to remind it to everybody whenever possible (don't ask me why!).
So, after a while, the discussion moves towards "suspect Facebook activities" and the guy starts saying that he can hack Facebook.
- "What do you mean?", I ask.
- "Hacking into other people's accounts, even with 2 factor authentication. I did it a lot of times"
- "Wait, and they don't notice?"
- "Of course not! ^_^ He's a hacker", the girl replies.
Ok, time to do a coming out.
- "Hey, I'm a developer myself. Can you give me an idea of what you did in technical terms? Did you find a vulnerability? Used a virus? Maybe a keylogger?"
- "No... Uh... Well... The secret is to read the terms of service"
- "What?"
- "Yes... yes it's all in the facebook terms of service..."
- "Uhm, I'm not really sure I'm following. Could you prove it by hacking my Facebook account? I'm giving you the permission".
In less than a minute the discussion flew completely away and they never mentioned computers again.
😂😂8 -
This should probably be labeled a meme, but I'm going to actually rant about this meme.
People use the term hacker way too frequently. Solving your trashy fucking "Pa$$w0rd123" password and getting access to your Spotify account isn't hacking.
Same douchewaffle probably thinks you could hack a Facebook account in 30 seconds. I fucking hate the way movies have portrayed hacking and created a dramatized bullshit idea for people to believe is real.
21 -
On the first class of cryptography professor says, "Hackers are people who dropped out of school, didn't obey their parents and turned to drugs and alcohol and steal money from people by hacking their facebook."
Then goes on to say, "People tend to keep their birthdate as their debit card's PIN so hacker checks their facebook account, finds their birthdate and goes to ATM machine and hacks their bank account."
I was speechless.7 -
So I recently joined a facebook group about "hacking" knowing that I would gather alot of lulz.
Thanks someone here on devrant that showed me this
18 -
Me visiting a bar...
While going for a smoke...
Woman: Can I ask you a very impolite and downright rude question..?
*expects a Facebook hacking question*
Me (hesitant): .. sure, ask ahead...
Woman: I've never seen you here before. Who are you?
Me: *tells name*
(thinking) not what I expected! (:
Woman: So you're living mostly on the internet?
Me: yeah pretty much... 🤔
Woman: So I live here next to that lawyer...
Me: I don't know most of the area here, where's that?
Woman: Why don't you look it up, hmm? 😜
Quality pwnage!! 😆19 -
more buzzword translations with a story (because the last one was pretty well liked):
"machine learning" -> an actual, smart thing, but you generally don't need any knowledge to use it as they're all libraries now
"a bitcoin" -> literally just a fucking number that everyone has
"powerful" -> it's umm… almost working (seriously i hate this word, it really has a meaning of null)
"hacking" -> watching a friend type in their facebook password with a black hoodie on, of course (courtesy of @GeaRSiX)
"cloud-based service" -> we have an extra commodore 64 and you can use it over the internet for an ever-increasing monthly fee
"analysis" -> two options: "it's not working" or "its close enough"
"stress-free workplace" -> working from home without pants
now for a short story:
a few days ago in code.org "apscp" class, we learnt about how to do "top down design" (of course, whatever works before for you was not in option in solving problems). we had to design a game, as the first "step" of "top down design," we had to identify three things we needed to do to make a game.
they were:
1. characters
2. "graphics"
3. "ai"
graphics is literally a png, but what the fuck do you expect for ai?
we have a game right? oh wait! its getting boring. let's just sprinkle some fucking artificial intelligence on it like i put salt on french fries.
this is complete bullshit.
also, one of my most hated commercials:
https://youtu.be/J1ljxY5nY7w
"iot data and ai from the cloud"
yeah please shut the fuck up
🖕fucking buzzwords6 -
THEM: "I got a chrome thing that says, 'Don't turn off your computer. Someone is trying to hack into your computer.' ...and it had some lady's voice saying, 'Error. Someone is hacking into your computer.' Should I click anything?"
ME: "No. I'll be right there...what did you click?"
THEM: "It was some Facebook quiz about 'Which Disney movie are you?'"
ME:
5 -
When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.3
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Non CS friend: I want to learn Hacking, and Hack Facebook.
Me: That's pretty easy, We'll start with Hacking Twitter today, then tomorrow Facebook.
F: Ya, thats ok.
Me: 1. Login into your Twitter account,
2. Open the account you want to hack,
3. Right click on the tweet, and click inspect element, and Change the tweet as you want.
F: Wowww... Man that's amazing...
*** He believed that he is a hacker for one whole day ***5 -
The worst thing about being a dev is explaining to these fucktards that facebook can't be hacked.
But what is even worse, is when these dipshits say that i am a bad dev for not hacking facebook for them.
Use that big stupid head to sometimes think straight and stop being a little twat.3 -
I live in a developing country where not a lot of people know much about security, programming and such. The moment I make a post about coding or something on social media, relatives/friends/strangers come and ask me to hack a Facebook profile or request a free download link to PUBG. And when I say that I can't, or that it's not really possible, they fuss and blame me for it. God damn people.4
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This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.
Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?
Me: Lol, and why is that?
Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.
Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.
Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.
Me: I can't bro.
Cousin: So you're not going to help me?
Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.
Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.
Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.
Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?
Me: Nope, can't do that either.
Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)
Me: *face palm*3 -
I've always thought the "can you hack my facebook accout?" rants a little exaggerated.
Then it happened to me twice.
For fuck's sake, is that damn social media site so ingrained in your puny little brain that you can't ask me something else? Is "what do you program" not the more obvious question?2 -
Meanwhile at my place (Translation L-R):
"Wow! Are you good at hacking?"
"Please hack my neighbor's Wi-Fi"
"Download me some movies!"
"Are you good at math?"
"Please fix my phone!"
"Can you remove the virus on my computer?"
"How many hours do you sleep in one day?"
"Put some cheats on this game!"
"Please hack my boyfriend's Facebook account!"
Yep, my family and even the entire neighborhood are ignorant of what I do as a dev!
FFS I'M NOT A PC REPAIR MAN!!! 😤😤😤😠😡
1 -
I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.
"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"2 -
In 2013: *opens cmd* "look at me I'm a hacker, I can hack your Facebook"
Now in 2019 : *copying some python examples* "I'm a hacker now, I made a bot for hacking your discord server"1 -
Studying on computer science has its cons mainly when every other student thinks we can hack Facebook and wifi. Computer science==hacking.1
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going out of the cafe when some stranger stops me, he asks if I'm a programmer, said his friend told him,
i was like yeah, i mostly do web stuff, but can work on any project.
he then said, nah it's just about hacking that person, or even just his facebook account, i suppose it can be done..
then he looked at me noticing that I'm a few mood calories away from murdering his sorry ass.
he asks if it's not bothersome to ask
i said nah it's fine, just that every word you said after "hack" is bothering me terribly,
he just stepped back and walked away4 -
I'm a terminal-guy. I prefer to live inside my terminal. When my family sees me with the green-on-black, they think I'm up to some nasty stuff like hacking / cracking emails, facebook, bank accounts, etc. Only people who understand to look at the terminal realize it's just a few monitors and log tails running. Sometimes, maybe elinks or vi running as well.7
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Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
Why do all my friends think that I am hacking Facebook, when I am just coding a crappy game engine. xD2
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Just had a so called "cyber security" seminar in college today.
The guy who claimed to be a trainer or somewhat network security guy or something behaved enigmatically with utter consistency. He obviously claimed to know facebook hax0ring though.
They were basically there to advertise their complete crap: csksrc.org
(Ethical Hax0ring Course) (also claimed their site to be 99.9% secured - GREAT!)
After obtaining a ISO*** standard cert or after taking multiple sessions on "advanced ethical hacking" if you go about telling peeps in colleges that: "The single way to hax0r a facebook account is CSRF!" "Will hack your facebook account by MITM through malicious WiFi Ap." Then, NO neither I want your shitty cert nor do I want to be in your team and create the next level of "advanced ethical hax0ring - CEH course". Reason why I get cringed when peeps start about their certs and the ISO*** value it contains. What ISO value does your brain cells contain though? -
Ten year old Jani found a security exposure in Instagram and Zuck game him $10k. Cool.
He should do a cameo on Silicon Valley and expose Hooli. That would be so funny 😋
http://theverge.com/tech/2016/...2 -
Someone asked me if i know a way to hack Facebook profile. Instead I want to give them a malware or virus. Anyone can help me get a good virus which disguise as a FB hacking app? Thanks6
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I wonder how happy they where at Facebook headquarter when they saw a peak of usage on messenger when WhatsApp was down.. imagine if they like it so much that they start hacking them so that WhatsApp looses it's relayability xD3
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