I grinded out 8k lines of code in four weeks, but don't consiter myself a programmer.

I can sit down at a computer and in under five minutes have all of the passwords saved to a USB, and the OS is rendered unusable, but I don't consiter myself a hacker.

I can make great high quality artwork, but don't call myself an artist.

I got 2k ++ in 16 days, but have yet to order my stickers because I don't feel like i've earned them.

But most impressively of all, I can fool everyone around me into thinking I'm happy. Even though I'm unsure I can even feel it.

..Bit of a darker rant, but some things need to be said.

When a game auto detects your hardware and puts in ultra high quality settings:

Devs regularly complain that our skills are not valued enough and that people think what we do is easy.

But, we don't really help the cause when we run around casually claiming to be "full stack" and not turning down work that clearly isn't in our area of competence.

We act more like Victorian amateur scientists.

Every seen a "full stack" doctor when you go to hospital? "Brain to feet---I can do it all."

OK, we have general practitioners, but they are really the BAs of the medical world. When it comes to getting into the weed, everyone specializes.

Full stack lawyer? "Hey, you did an excellent job of dealing with my house purchase. I've just been accused of murder. Can you represent me?"

While we continue to say that we can provide a high quality "full stack" experience I think we are signaling that this stuff *is* easy.

Freelancing website be like: I need a Rolls Royce with high-quality leather and with perfect temperature control. I will also need a mini fridge for my champagne bottle and two wine glass holders. I don't think there's a lot of work to be done in it. It's an easy job.

Budget: $30

Family think I make websites and webapps

What I actually do is exchange high quality memes on Discord

When you're working on an uni project with a fucking idiot who tests stuff with this kind of messages and then forget to remove them a few days before the deadline… fml.

I work at the frontend, he at the backend, so I shouldn't even have to check his code, but after seeing this I fucking have to.

Useless to say that he loaded these kind of placeholders also in the database.
So the admin name is "PieroGay", which is the name of the professor who will evaluate the project...

The worst thing is this bastard will graduate in 1 month, while I probably next year.

No matter how much product owners claim "bugs have priority over anything else", "we value high quality structured code", and "we do test driven development"...

...Once a big client wants a feature to be developed before they sign up, dirty code will be written from napkin specs, and that code will always be refractored "soon".

What I was supposed to do today:

Finish up some homework and code for a bit

What I actually did today:

1. Boot up my laptop to get started on homework

2. Open Spotify and try to connect my headphones

3. Reinstall Bluetooth and pulseaudio to connect to headphones

4. Connected! But the sound quality is shit

5. Spend an hour or so learning about codec sinks and how Bluetooth is the definition of an overengineered clusterfuck

6. Install some package from the aur to get AAC codec support

7. Now we have high fidelity audio, but the headphones still connect to the crappy SBC sink, so I spend another 45 minutes writing a shell script to automatically switch to the AAC sink when a Bluetooth headset connects

8. It’s finally working! But now I have no motivation to do my actual work. Fml

1. Slack. Pretty good chat app for dev companies, I use it to prevent people standing next to my desk 40 times a day.

2. Unit testing tools, especially when fully automated using a git master branch hook, something like codeship/jenkins, and a deployment service.

3. Jetbrains IDEs. I love Vim, but Jetbrains makes theming, autocompleting & code style checks with mixed templating languages a breeze.

4. Urxvt terminal. It's a bit of work at the start, but so extremely fast and customizable.

5. Cinnamon or i3. Not really dev tools, but both make it easy to organize many windows.

6. A smart production bug logger. I tend to use Bugsnag, Rollbar or Sentry.

7. A good coffee machine. Preferably some high pressure espresso maker which costs more than the CEO's car, using organic fairtrade hipster beans with a picture of a laughing south american farmer. And don't you dare fuck it up with sugar.

8. Some high quality bars of chocolate. Not to consume yourself, but to offer to coworkers while they wait for you to fix a broken deploy. The importance of office politics is not to be underestimated.

I used to think Electron apps were gonna do great and make it more accessible for companies to produce high quality programs with ease.

Oh boy I was wrong. All it did is enable big companies with the ability to refactor all of their software to run 5 times slower, consume 10 times more memory and kill your battery 20 times faster.

I fucking hate all of this prototype fast optimize later bullshit. Can I get some value for my dollar? How come technology is just being degraded for the same of "ease of programming".

You save programming time but sacrifice end user time, cus our time just doesn't fucking matter.

Just found this little gem when I ducked RBL.. must be a super high quality bank with that meta description :3

Yes, high quality code...

Introducing a new javascript functionality:
Relation operators
These help you determine if object is related to other object and in which way (parent, child)
In screenshot a demonstration done on numbers

StackOverFlow and the Downvote Paranoia

I've been more active than my usual in SO for sometime now and I noticed this behavioral pattern between new questions and badge thirsty flaggers/downvoters, back in the early 2010s the fastest gun in the west used to reply with a correct answer, now the early replies are mostly complaints about formatting or how it's a duplicate of a totally different question. This is a result of wanting to keep the quality high, understood. But you can always edit questions with poor grammar and/or formatting. But I think it gets too spoopy for new users to post an innocent question, or an answer for that matter. It discourages them to learn.

Chinese powerbanks are so fucking dangerous. Cheap price = cheap quality. Alright, I get it, but that's not my point.
Today my dad gave me his powerbank and wanted me to upgrade it.
A 50k mAh powerbank, but it is far away from 50k mAh. He bought 12 6000mAh rechargeable batteries.
Before I started replacing it and resoldering the powerbank, I decided to open up the Chinese 50k mAh battery. A lot of aluminum foils covering the batteries. That's not great. A very high chance for a short circuit to happen.
Anyways, I carefully took the aluminum cover halfway out.
I took a (plier?) with plastic handles and grabbed the pack of batteries with it to not put myself into danger.
And BOOM! A short circuit.

Btw. It smelled very weird when I took the aluminum cover off of the pack.

So working on the Android for work, and go to add in images for parts of the app. I add in images and load the app up and it crashes, I thought hmm maybe I missed something for the imageview.

The exception was an out of memory exception and from looks of it, it exceeded my phone memory by quite a bit (OnePlus 3 has 8gb LOL), I was stumped since I don't typically run into this.

Turns out this time around it wasn't my fault lol, I had some images outsourced to a company our company uses for doing design work and well Android doesn't like 2000 x 2000 super high quality for logos.

I mean sure it's good it's high quality but to have 3 images eat up a lot of memory (I assume my phone won't allocate all 8gb to one app lol).

High quality phishing email.

met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...

TL;DR: Printers suck. MS-Word sucks.

Yesterday I wanted to print a few participation certificates for my blender project students.

*Turns on printer, runs downstairs, gets paper, runs upstairs, puts paper in*

So I tried to print in word. Nothing happened. Printer was online. I checked queue: Nothing.

*a couple of tries later*

Okay, fuck it! I export it as a pdf and open it in edge (8 times. 8 documents. Edge is a neat pdf-viewer, fight me). I press print on one. It works. I print the others and check: They look shit. The images look like 25% resolution and 50% jpg compression. I check word.

It by default exports in low quality. Yea, thanks for asking me. I export pdfs again and check "high quality". Open them, print. Done.

These were like 30 wasted minutes and print color. And paper.

Btw they look fucking neat. I can't show them right now but gradient text headline, project name is a rendered and edited 3D object :D

devrant:
get busy reading low quality recent posts.
or get busy reading high quality algo posts that died weeks ago.

😢

High quality output is not fucking cheap

These are actually quite high quality! Thanks guys!

Interviewed for a Q&A position.

Found bugs and errors on the test questions just fine.

Found broken assets and errors within the test itself outside of the questions. (Misspellings, typos, broken images, botched styling, etc.)

Didn't get hired because they thought I'd spend too much time finding bugs.

What gives?

This treasure just arrived!

Thanks @dfox & @trogus ! 😃

Got my stickers. High quality and looks so good that I don't even want to put it on my laptop. I guess I will try to sell it on the black market.

High quality encryption technique for email.

What algorithm has been used?

I like this developer!

Very high number of quality rants lately. Trending up fast in my opinion. Even today - Saturday which used to be a lighter day.
Becoming a nice challenge to read them all. Way to go. Keep on ranting! What do you think about the rant volume and quality?

yo real talk tho devRant has got some freaking high quality stickers

New idea: Fuck raytracing for global illumination because you just need too many rays for it to converge

What if we do surfels (to keep the number of probes down and relevant to our scene) and we update the 4x4-ish sized hemisphere irradiance maps not by tracing a single ray per frame per surfel. I have a fast as shit compute shader rasterizer... What if I just raster each surfel each frame? Should be around the same number of pixels as the primary visibility so totally feasible....

Each frame just jitter the projection a bit and voila. Should have extremely high quality diffuse global illumination at well below 1 ms. Holy shit this might just work

Random thought of the day. I'm sure I've been told the "common wisdom" is that you can take a job with a lower salary and enjoy a better work-life balance, or go gung-ho for the inner city jobs and earn way more but sacrifice your quality of life.

Anyone else found the complete opposite? The higher the salary I've had over my career, generally the *better* the working environment and the more the employer seems to care for, and value its employees. Not universally true I'm sure, and perhaps I'm just lucky about where I pick, but I've certainly had way more "high stress" situations in some of my lower paid, rather than higher paid roles.

Not so much in my work but more my career.
My dad has been a great role model, still is and always will be.

He was an hard working metalworker. He loved his job. It's not a 50k job but he could easily manage his life.

My dad showed me that doing what you love, working with passion, makes your life easier and more fun. You deliver high quality products, because you care.

Since I found out that I love programming, I made it my life goal to do it as my career.

I've never been happier before. After all, I make money with my hobby.

I've been a Macbook user for over a decade, after the initial disappointment of the 2016 MacBook Pro release I decided to move to a PC, against my better judgement I decided to buy a new Dell XPS 15, after reading all the reviews praising it's build quality and performance + it seems to have good hardware for Linux compatibility.
Soo much regret, I couldn't be more disappointed, it's such a piece of shit, I admit I probably got a bad egg, but dealing with Dell support is like pulling hairs from my testicle sack. If I have to pay an extra $500-$1000 on my next laptop for an "Apple Tax" to get a product that has been through proper quality control and has awsome customer service so be it, last time I try something new.
BTW I'm not a PC hater, I just wish more companies made high quality products.

I too got my $1 unix sticker pack (thank you very much whoever posted this by the way) and thought posting a picture of them would be redundant
First thing when I brought them to work to show them or to my colleagues I stepped out of my car and they all fell to the soaking wet ground (it was pouring down at the time)
Luckily they're of very high quality and still intact 😊

Only company that I really "hate" is Abstergo haha.

All others have their up and downsides I guess....

Microsoft:
+ Xbox One
- Windows

Apple:
+ iPad Mini (don't know any company that produces such high quality but very small tablets... Therefore I still use my ~6 years old iPad Mini 1. (The battery life is insane! After all this time it still lasts about 6-7 hours!)
- The new iPhones. No innovation. Just making money.

Samsung:
+ TVs
- Smartphones (a few crashes here and there, kinda ugly, explosions!)

LG:
+ TVs (webOS is the shit!)
- Heard the Smartphones suck, not sure

And so on....

It is incredible how Google got big with good webdesign and now manages to build the shittiest frontends.

It's not enough that YouTube is super slow and breaks every other time I use the "back" button in the browser. When it only forgot my language & theme settings every couple of months that was still too high quality for Google's dogshit standards, so now they made another downgrade: Whenever I set another language it immediately resets it to the language Google thinks I should speak, and at the same time resets the region to where Google thinks I live. Oh, and I have to disable autoplay for every video individually now cause who the fuck uses cookies nowadays right?

Do they also change the language if I travel to another country because those fucks never leave Silicon Valley and can't comprehend that concept?

Google is the Microsoft of web design.

So my IT teacher wrote his own web server framework for NodeJS and he forces us to use it for assignments. Would be fine if:
1. It worked properly.
2. It had any kind of documentation.
3. He knew how it worked.

But no, we have to debug his shit and edit the js files in node_modules to get shit working.

Is he open to suggestions? Not really. If you have a fix, you have to create a gitlab account and send a pr. Even if you tell him what exactly is wrong. He won't do anything about it.

Why use express when we can learn something we'll never use again?

At this point I think we're using it only so that he gets downloads on npm.

Oh ya, he also copies package.json from project to project instead of creating a new one with up to date dependencies.

🙃

A lot of people have some very unrealistic expectations when it comes to cheap technology. You just can not expect to pay bottom price and get high quality results at the same time...

Why on Earth did I read this "High quality software" 😣😣

That feeling when the code in a massive PR is of very high quality... Only comment is about some class name...

that feeling when your downloaded movie, is so high quality, that your computer can't render it properly...

What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!

FUCK THIS.

A bunch of people who know a bunch of frameworks but lack intrinsic understanding CS, therefore bringing the degeneration of overall quality.

This ultimately leads to:

1- shitty dev jobs (the future blue-collar job, always in risk to be automated)
OR
2- super high-end dev jobs (most likely AI engineering, devops, data science)

As generations pass, this shapes out a whole new world economy.

Stickers are heeeere! 😊Thanks @dfox ! Oh btw, these stickers are of high quality 👌I love it!

Imagine a multi driver high quality balanced armature earphones. They have stainless steel ear channels and replaceable meshes. They’re also made by apple. Seems impossible in AirPods era?

No. Apple made them. They are really good and extremely comfortable. They are rare nowadays but here in Russia I just bought brand new pair for just $50. They sound awesome.

I listened to JH Layla and everything by Noble Audio. This forgotten apple earbuds still sound awesome.

It’s not a 3am rant. They actually exist. I have them.

So I was rejected by the management today for promotion to Senior 2 although I have done several major feature developments + infra design and basically end to end ownership.

Reason for no promotion? That's the best fucking part, according to the feedback, the work I performed on the service I created is well-designed,
and the code quality is commendable. However, they pointed out a notable difference in code quality between the micro-service
I built and the rest of the project developed by others. This, apparently, suggests that I lack a strong sense of ownership over the broader product.

First of all, we have super tight deadlines (almost 996), and I burned midnight oil to make sure the service I am in-charge of is designed really well.
Also, how in the flying fuck the other how the inability of others to maintain good code quality elsewhere in the product is being used as evidence against my sense of ownership
and initiative in ensuring high engineering quality for the repository I wasn't even working on

What a delusional management, the entire feedback feels like just an excuse to fuck off, we are not promoting you...
May be instead of doing actual engineering work, I should have just do minimal work and write more design docs / technical artifacts

It is very demoralizing after I worked hard for so many months, product went out really well.. yet when performance review comes, rejected with a petty reason

Fixed a high priority bug today just prior to release. There was 100% test coverage. The tests pass both before and after the change. The product behavior is correct now where it wasn't before. Just one more reminder that test coverage does not equate to either quality or correctness. Tests are alarms (at best), and quality of tests are no better an any chunk of code. All tests have costs, but not all have value. All reasons why I am skeptical of the value of code coverage, TDD, or anything that posits that "all tests are good".

Wtf is up with some education providers? Even the de facto industry leaders have half-assed courses. Not many are super high quality. They sound like they are speaking into a mic, forced to do it. Nothing like YouTube, more like middle-aged, depressed men with no life with no energy. I'd much rather learn elsewhere. This is akin to how some university professors give some lectures. Where are the passionate teachers of our world?

The ones that I enjoyed were: MIT, Harvard and Stanford. Perhaps it has to do with money. lol.

My app is finally on the Apple App Store.

The rant: how bloody difficult was it to get on there?! They scrutinise EVERYTHING. My promo copy, my screengrabs and also it seems that there is code that works on iPhone that doesn’t work on iPad.

I thought it was designed to be the same for ease of development? However I found a function that works perfectly well on iPhone but breaks iPad.

Anyway I guess in the long run this keeps the App Store’s quality level high and it isn’t the Wild West like the google play store. However it’s still pretty annoying. I can see why devs get angry about Apple’s process.

Lol I remember deleting half a production database 6 months into this job. Now a little under 2 years my boss lets me do whatever the fuck I want as long as my quality of work stays high and I complete a regular number of jira tasks a week

It used to be one of the best paying professions, so there is plenty of people who aren't meant to be software developers, but they tried to get money and now suck at it.
Now that standard of living increased by a lot there are other specialists that do not require this much education or talent (but still you need to be decent) and pay comparably or even more, because there is just so much demand for them if they are high quality (people wait for months). Those are mostly people who build, finish or otherwise improve houses and cars. Even unqualified labor got decent pay now, tho still about 1/3 of what average dev will make.

Why is it so fucking HARD TO CLONE THE FUCKING C: DRIVE! WHY THE FUCK!? I JUST WANT TO CLONE THE DATA TO A BACKUP SSD AND THIS SHIT ISNT FUCKING WORKING! I DONT WANNA PAY FUCKING MONEY FOR SOME extremly safe high quality backup FUCK THIS!

My stickers are finally here and I must say they are surprisingly high quality. Thanks a lot dfox and devrant community 🤘

This is one of my really passionate issue with the world, ** Food waste **
Isn't it the most dumbest problem? Every time a marriage, celebration, event happens at the end of the day a huge portion of the high quality food is just thrown into a dump. Does just picking up the trash or disposing the waste solve anything or is it just a way corporation schemed us to believe we are doing something for the world by disposing waste.

I have this impression that non-devs have this idea that you can ask for a developer to learn and implement a new technology with the same ease as ordering a Happy Meal.

Oh, you want me to learn a completely new technology, write very high quality, bug-minimal code, test it, document it, in a matter of hours?! Maybe senior devs can do this, but for me, it's like asking me to build software for NASA and guaranteeing it will work wonderfully without being given the time to thoroughly test it, design it or even think about it. Wooh, just code this as fast as possible and to industry standards quality!

Anyway... just another frustration.

!rant

So got into a small debate (actually a civil one, surprise surprise) about the final project for a class. Basically the final project involves a team of 3-4 coders making a website for an actual client that either they find or provided by the professor.
The exact point of conflict was that the work is pro bono. The student argued that the work should be paid since after all, real work, real client. My argument is that because the clients don’t exactly choose the designers (or have little to no knowledge of most of their work) there will be high variance in quality and contract work would cause more conflict if done in class.

So just wondering, what do people think about this? Logistical issues aside (earning money for technically school property/ownership and money for learning essentially)

If there's one thing I hate about devs is definitely when they get too emotional about the reviews they receive.

Doing a thorough review always takes significant amount of time and energy. It's about ensuring high quality of code, about functionality and best practices, ... It's also about learning: I learn from the changes being reviewed while at the same time I also try to teach the author as much as possible, giving down to earth opinions.

It's never (or at least should never be) about attacking the author. There really is no reason why someone would spend all this time getting overly personal.

I used to start my responses with (lousy) apologies for being "harsh", but stopped doing this now that my team understands all of this. It also helped asking them to do the same with my changes. The look in their eyes when they find something is simply invaluable :).

How can you tell that your PC is under a heavy load?

When, despite having your high-quality active noise canceling headphones on and playing games, you can still hear what must be your GPU having a heatstroke and having it's fans spin at 100%.

Never knew it can be this loud. Or maybe the headphones are just crap.

Hello wonderful people out there, I need some career advice and would really appreciate your help in deciding. I am sure you have perspectives and opinions that may not even have crossed my mind.

I am a Full Stack Dev with 9 years of experience. I got two overseas opportunities, one in Bucharest, Romania and the other one in Mississauga, Canada.
Now according to my research:

+ives in Romania:
> Role is good
> Low cost of living
> Money is good and company also provides 2 bed accommodation
> Access to Europe
> Is approx 8 hours far away from my country of origin

-ives in Romania (just as per my internet research when compared to Canada)
> Healthcare is not the great
> Scores low on standard of life and quality index
> Not sure I can think of settling down there

+ives in Canada
> No Language barriers
> Ample amount of opportunities in the long run
> Can strongly think of settling down there
> Scores really high in standard of life and quality index
> Strong healthcare and education system

-ives in Canada
> Living expenses are fuckin high
> Money initially is not that great and won't be able to save enough for my future goals
> Is approx 28 Hours far from my country of origin

Which one would you choose and if you can please mention why?

Some high quality rendering here, iOS / Twitter - you'd think these bugs would've been caught in alpha or beta, but noooooo...

Man going from Rust to other languages is making me go insane

Why does no other language have a high quality, standard documentation tool!? I just want to know what classes and functions you have 😭

3. After that I take a decent break (e.g. an hour) because my productivity and efficiency reduce, and I'm not paid by the hour so a sustainable, high quality output that fits in with my life is the objective.

PSA: All quixel assets are completely free on the new fab store until the end of the year!

If you need any high quality models, make sure to check it out

(why does this read like an ad lol)

I'm mostly self-taught, but there are a couple people who defined my understanding of computing

- My amazing elementary school friend whose father worked at IBM and who initially turned my interest from astrophysics towards computing. I don't know whether physics would've been fruitful but I know computing is.

- My high school friend, who taught me the basics of OOP. Though we agree on almost nothing today, his explanations about code quality defined my understanding of the matter which I then used to draw completely different conclusions

- My high school mathematics teachers, who tolerated the way I abused every tool at my disposal to construct proofs that resembled a rollercoaster, and helped me develop my own understanding of mathematics

- 3blue1brown for producing replayable videos in a similar quality to my high school maths lectures with additional stunning visuals. No content on the internet fits the way I think quite as much as that channel.

Any devs here from Canada or who have worked there?... know any?

I'm strongly considering immigrating to Canada to give my future family a better chance at life (My current country has a highly unstable political climate).

Just wondering how the dev lifestyle is living there (for the average dev) i.e.

- Quality of life - I know I can't buy a house, but what can I rent? A house/ flat/ box?
- Hows the dev scene / culture?
- Work life balance / Work environment frustrations (I hear they are very politically correct and this may be a conflict with my blunt nature)
- Income Tax vs Government service delivery, I expect tax will be high due to free health care/ education but are they worth it? nb; any service delivery beats what I get...

Any feedback is welcome and will be appreciated.

{
-i won't follow logging practices
-i won't follow secure coding
-i won't leverage profiling n monitoring tools
-i won't reuse best practices
-i won't listen to thought leaders
-i will outsource writing UT
-i will outsource code quality checks
-i will outsource all testing
-i will ignore n overide CTO team

But I still want high stability, security n 4 9s availability. Just want it done. My team is best. Am a fast-track leadership program leader who never has or ever needs to cod. I just know ...
}

People I have to deal with every sprint. Site reliability is not easy ...
Teaching good code makes great products to morons, toughest ...

"Beginners mind needed"

Why do some employers make such a distinction between learning the tools at university and learning the same tools at the workplace?

Are they backward or old? Don't they know modern, high-quality universities have modern environments that are in fact real life?

Environments with acc-test-prod-dev with gitlab, ci/cd in Scrum teams and the works? Heck, at my uni we even worked at real companies, did internships there for months!

Come on.. to me this 'the tools you learned in school isn't the same experience as real life experience'. Right, these guys must be on some conservative backward model because there is in fact no difference.
I have worked both during my uni internship at a real company (in teams too) as well as irl at real companies and there is no difference, it's the same thing.
I don't care if I've learned to experience git + ReactJS etc during an internship through uni or at a workplace. It's all bureaucracy.

Educate them about context switching and how bad it is for productivity. Also deliver high quality work, at the end you’ll earn their trust and it makes for a much better work environment.

My advice would be to have fun with coding and make things that you like. Consider all other job fields. Only work in programming if it makes you fulfilled and gives you good memories looking back. If you do work as a dev, be passionate about making the code and projects beautiful and high quality. Search for mentorship from developers you admire.

Why do clients expect that they would get a high quality machine learning model without a properly cleaned dataset? I usually get the response, ‘just scrape data and train it. It shouldn’t take long’

Are there any good sites/outlets besides redbubble where you can purchase decent to high quality developer themed swag?

Me: By mandating code coverage pct. (very high ones) and integration test coverage pct. you are building an ever growing Rube Goldberg machine that you will end up spending most of your time fixing rather than working on the actual product.

Them: (Staring and whispering in the background). Wow, you must be stupid. This is how you created quality software.

...time passes and now most time is sucked into figuring out why all branches have failing integration tests all the time.

Me: I told you so. I've seen it multiple times. How about doing it differently?

Them: (staring and whispering in background). You are stupid. This is exactly how quality software is built. We know what we are doing. You must like waterfall.

Not gonna lie but i feel so much more peace of mind after blocking all whores from my contacts and leaving little to no but good and high quality people left

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Melbourne Brunch Spots That Stand Out

Among Melbourne brunch spots, Degani Malvern East offers a standout experience with an all-day brunch menu that’s both diverse and satisfying. From fluffy pancakes and smashed avo to protein bowls and artisan toasties, our dishes are made fresh to order using quality ingredients. Whether you’re a traditional breakfast lover or into modern, health-conscious choices, we have something to match every brunch mood.

Café Vibes Melbourne Locals Love

At Degani Malvern East, you’ll find the kind of café vibes Melbourne is famous for—laid-back yet lively, stylish yet welcoming. With comfortable seating, both indoor and outdoor spaces, and a community-focused ambiance, our café is the perfect place to slow down, reconnect, and recharge. Whether you're here for work, conversation, or quiet time, our space is designed to feel like your local escape.

Why Choose Degani Malvern East

Degani Malvern East is more than just a café—it’s your go-to destination for quality food, great coffee, and authentic Melbourne café culture. Whether you're a local resident, a weekend wanderer, or just exploring what Malvern East has to offer, we’re here to serve you with a smile.

What makes us unique:

Part of a trusted and established Australian café brand

Consistently high-quality food and coffee

Signature brunch menu served all day

Ideal café vibes for relaxing or working

Pet-friendly outdoor seating and family-friendly service

Contact Us

Degani Malvern East
Address: 255 Waverley Rd, Malvern East VIC 3145, Australia
Phone: +61 3 8766 0676
Opening Hours: Open Daily – Morning to Late

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