A typo today has rendered me the joke of the office... 😂

Almond's PR: "Added missing unit testes to classes Foo and Bar"

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Bob: "LGTM. Bet that took some balls."
Craig: "LGTM. Missing unit testes drive me nuts."
Ian: "LGTM. Write your testes with your code guys, a bit bollocks to have to add them afterwards."

"LGTM 👍"

So, I'm 100% sure that in a year I'll look back at today and ask why I thought it was a good idea to implement a feature this way.

Looks good to me today, that's all I know. I'm done ✅

How to waste money as a dev company, 101:

Give people ton of budget for their education to do whatever they want with it with no oversight at all:
1) Devs go to some shitty confs in places across the world that teaches them nothing (new) so they can visit interesting places on company's money
2) Go to a conf where you learn ton of stuff that can be implemented right away

...Then you come back, no time to do stuff properly, just "make it work" (or make it seem like it works), because of deadlines, poor prioritization, new features, bad planning, vague roadmap and poor client management. And the worst of them all, LGTM code reviews.

Few months later, who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh, dude that left? What about this mess? Oh, he's a goner too. What the fuck should this random undocumented chunk of code do?!

Do that a few times and you've got bunch of pissed off clients with a ton of bug reports nobody can solve without wasting 20x the amount of time it would originally take.. LGTM

RIP project.

I'm so sick and tired of people feeling threatened when improving upon their shitty code! I'm here to do a job and I enjoy my profession.

Don't take that away from me by wasting my time making me say every fucking time that I come from a good place and that I just want to provide a better solution AND not create fucking mess that will have to be rewritten when some ninja bugs occur because of completely unmaintainable crap nobody can understand. Holy shit!

I couldn't care less if you're 10 years in the company. I see that all the good devs left after dealing with your shit every God damn day.

I'm not here to deal with your insecurities and couldn't care less about pointing fingers! I just wanna do better and not write same level of quality over and over again!

You're not getting bonus points from me by sitting on your ass all day and half-assing everything you do with some lame ass excuse.

So no LGTM from me when it's utter error prone shit!

So if you don't wanna help, just get the fuck outta my way and don't waste my time! Jeeez

YOU KNOW WHAT I AM DONE WITH PR REVIEWS , LIKE WHY DO THEY EVEN EXIST THOSE mf's dont know anything aboutT how much I HAVE worked on MY CODE FOR THEM TO SAY can you make this function more descriptive bro its fucking getuserinput Wth do you want it like(GETUSERSSHITFROMTHEIR..nvm)Screw you Grammarly
AFTER their stinky a doble ss stops commenting LITERally I have made phaking changes in half of the CODE and what do I receive "LGTM" you m.. you look like you belong the african Sh..LGBTQ community YOU look LIKE YOU NEED SOME EVOLUTIONARY GLOWUP , STOP MAKING MY LIFE HELL, next PR I am merging it straight INTO his A double S , Love you grammarly

My best co-worker was who 'LGTM' my pull request without asking what I'm doing.

Anyone have tips/tricks for encouraging teammates to comment on an RFC? It's work enough to write them, would be handy not to have to track people down for something more in depth than an "LGTM".

The ultimate rage-fueled, caffeine-deprived, sleep-deprived, absolutely done-with-this-shit PR review rant.
You know what? I’m done. I’m DONE. I submit a PR, I triple-check it, I run all the tests, I follow the damn coding standards. I hit submit thinking, ‘Ah yes, this is a good piece of code, I did well.’ And then? THEN??!

The floodgates of hell open.
"Hey, can you make this function name more descriptive? BRO IT’S CALLED getUserData(), WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? retrieveUserDataFromTheDepthsOfTheDatabaseAndFormatItAccordingToTheSacredGuidelinesOfOurAncestors()?!Fuck grammarly #$%&*

Or the classic:
‘Hmm, this line could be optimized.’ OH REALLY, COULD IT? Could it really? Would shaving off 0.000001ms on a non-critical function really revolutionize our application? WILL IT SAVE THE WORLD? WILL IT END WORLD HUNGER?! NO? THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!

And of course, there’s always one smartass who wants to flex their ‘knowledge’ with a random suggestion:FUCK YOU GRAMMARLY &*(_+‘Have you considered rewriting this in Rust for better memory safety? SIR. THIS IS A FRONTEND BUTTON HANDLER. TAKE YOUR RUST AND GO.

THEN ohhhh THEN the moment you fix everything, push your changes, AND THEN the same reviewer who just tormented you for three hours goes, "LGTM 👍". THAT'S IT? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY AFTER MAKING ME REWRITE HALF MY CODE??

AND THEN, THE FINAL BOSS MOVE:
‘Can you squash your commits?’
SQUASH??? SQUASH?!?! BRO, I’M ABOUT TO SQUASH MY LAPTOP ON YOUR BALD STINKY HEAD.

At this point, I am convinced PR reviews exist purely for torture. They are not about improving the code. They are a psychological experiment to see how long it takes before a developer completely loses their mind and starts a new life as a goat farmer.

I swear, next PR, I’m just merging it straight into COMPANY'S ASS main and letting fate decide.