*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me

R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech

Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.

R: :/

Me: :|

PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.

Tech support to my friend:

Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone

After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐

No, I don't know why your keyboard isn't working. I'm a web developer. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

You know why i hate lenovo with a burning passion? Not because they make industrial waste and sell it. Not because they trick non tech people into buying their garbage. No, i hate them because their shitass laptops dont even fit in my rubbish bin.

Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.

My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.

Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)

Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.

(2 hours later)

N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.

This guy is collector.

The best part of being a dev?

You can be a nerd, you can dress lousy, you got all those fancy tech you can work with, it's diverse, it's fun. And on top of that, it's not even remotely hard to find a job and get payed well.

Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year

Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then

Manager: !!

Being told I’m not experienced enough to get a senior dev job I interviewed for.
Even though I aced the first 4 interview rounds, the tech test feedback was “the best solution they had ever seen”, and I’ve been a senior dev for 25 years.
Time wasting assholes.

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.

Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.

Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.

Everybody talks about burnout syndrome or crappy tech interviews, but not about a real struggle for devs, bubbles in their laptop stickers.

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

So my friend who was a working as Tech/System Intern and soon to be junior sysadmin asked me "How was pinging 127.0.0.1 successfull? I am not even connected to the internet?"

Please, do not "learn to code".
The industry is already filled with too many shitheads who think they're the next bill gates.
Most people have no business coding anything.
You might hear big tech screeching about "tech shortages" and that "we need more coders" but in reality, they're trying to flood the developer market with shit-tier coders so they can pay less wages, because they're too greedy to pay their workers a decent salary.

We don't need more coders.

You're not special.

Your bootcamp project looks like dogshit and 10,000 other people wrote the same thing only better.

Please, if you're recruiting a freshly graduated or junior developper, DO NOT ask him to be a fucking expert in whatever field or tech you're looking for.

Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
Me: "Synthwave"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"

TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!

That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...

I don't have any laptop stickers. I don't know if that makes me insane or one of the non-crazy people. I just don't like the idea of turning my laptop into a Nascar of tech companies/frameworks/bad Linux jokes. Not to mention stickers can be a real pain to get off.

Tech startups, an analogy:

After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:

Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.

That’s 99% of “tech” companies.

Discuss. I’ll make drinks.

Meanwhile in India:
Son: Dad, I want to be an actor.
Dad: Son, it's pronounced doctor.
I know its not tech. But in India this is funny.

My parents r pretty helpful with me programming. They r very supportive 😊😊

I even tell my mom how things work and she takes a lot of interest in understanding as well! She is my own rubber ducky ❤️❤️

My dad is busy and not a tech minded person so he is kinda ignorant about tech, but never stops encouraging me 😊😊

Go my mom and dad!! Yaaay 😍😍

Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound

*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*

Me: Uh huh...

Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie

Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!

Despite beeing one of the strangest ads I ever saw, this one is a beautiful and scary example of advertising tracking. Although I used a vpn and incognito mode I saw this ad on a page really not tech related at all.

Comes back to hometown for easter holidays.
(Not so close) 'friends & family' tech support requests start rolling in..

fuck you to the tech software engineer who would sexually harass me for over a year straight and would simply NOT GET THE FUCKING POINT that I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.

Worst mistake of my life.

So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).

Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.

Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.

Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.

Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.

This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.

And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.

10/10 for incredible bullshit.

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

Translated this golden bit from the Norwegian comic "Lunch" for you guys👍🏻

Frame 3:
Kjell: You see? Worn out again!
Tech: I can see that. How about we only replace the keys not working.

Frame 4:
Tech: ctrl + c ... and?
Kjell: V

😁🤓🎉

Controversial tech rant begins here:

You know, I'm sure a lot of you guys know that it is pretty uncommon to encounter a woman who is who is into tech (and ranting about said tech). This has always made people question why. I personally feel like that is the case because those that do like tech, and those that don't just find a different interest. I thought that would suffice, but now Google and Microsoft are advertising their diversity programs. I was fine with all that until I was personally affected by it. I intended to apply for scholarships from Microsoft. They turned me away because according to them, they began giving them only to people who were "marginalized". That and their commercials trying to pressure young girls to join the STEM field. Again nothing wrong with women in the tech field, but now that this is turning into favoritism I have to fight harder battles to compete in the tech industry. Not only that, but now I read a study about their employment. Despite the number of people they turned away and the money they spent on these programs, thr companies STILL haven't become any more diverse, and from what it seems, their reaction lately has been to double-down and try harder. I just want an open, honest, and fair tech community. Has anyone else felt the affects of this situation?

2nd interview today for a job. I thought it went well but I could tell one guy did not like me. They said they were done after 20 minutes. They told the recruiter I was not senior enough. I have been a dev since 2001. I answered all of their tech questions. Really frustrating.

Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle

Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.

The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.

Devs: "Accessibility? Not a high priority for now"

Also Devs (in tech conferences): "I can't read, can you please increase the font size?"

"Also, dark mode everywhere please"

While I was working with my Android project that is written on Kotlin. One of my on non-tech colleague came and saw my screen and

said "Why are you overriding fun"

I replied him that we just not override fun we also have private fun and public fun.

Is it not funny translating code to real English 😂😂😂

As a 16 year old, the hardest problem I've always encountered is trying to explain to people that coding as actually more complex than just typing random words.

Working in Big Tech is just like working in stupid factories in the 1800. You are disposable and not worth anything.

Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.

Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
Me: -___-

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

My gym decided to adopt a fitness app so members could sign up for classes. Their onboarding was terrible (to be nice about it). I really hate when businesses don’t understand the technology they want to use.

Me: I downloaded the app, but all the classes say to call the gym.

Gym: Are you using the email that’s on file for your apartment?

Me: Yes, I am because I read the gym’s instructions for using the app.

Gym: …

Me: I think the issue is I had an existing account on the app before the gym decided to use the app for its business.

Gym: Then that’s the problem. Delete your account and sign up for a new one.

Me: WTF 🤬 I am not deleting an account that I’ve had FOR YEARS just because you can’t figure out technical issues with the vendor. How did it never occur to you that gym members might already have accounts for a fitness app that’s been around for years and used by other businesses? Besides, this app doesn’t let users delete accounts from the app so I don’t know where you’re coming from with telling me to delete my account.

Not really tech, but...

I used to handwrite a lot of fiction in several notebooks that I kept over the years. House went through a bad flood in 2013, basement where the notebooks were stored got full up, lost all the notebooks 😭

Now I don't even have a basement

I really despise the non-tech sluts who think their only job is to hold meetings and "talk". "Do you wannaa taalk about iiit?" Fuck you bitch you're not my therapist.

"I'll just go to a tech conference and not take any stickers."

- no one

Windows 10 now let's you step through a options menu, which shows automatically after the new update, to select which kind of tracking you want to have. This makes it way more transparent for not tech savy people:)

What do you think about ageism in the tech industry? I see articles where Facebook/Google pride themselves that their employee median age is not over 30. Why is that of any importance? Is it hard for seasoned developers to find a job or adapt to the "youth culture" in tech companies? Any of you felt bullied by your younger colleagues? Finally, will this change in the next 10 years since developers in their 20s will be approaching their 40s, or once they reach that age they will go to the special developer graveyard and commit harikiri?

I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

Bethesda is full of shit. Starfield somehow needs a super new PC because it alledgedly uses modern SW tech.

Strange point: while a high-end PC with 7800X3D and 4090 makes the performance bearable (though not great), the graphics don't look spectacular. In fact, they look outdated.

No Bethesda, you don't use modern tech. You require modern HW tech to make up somewhat for your shitty engine and incompetent devs.

Do you agree that the hardest part of the job as a software engineer is not the complication of the tech stack, but working for an inconsiderate arsehole is what makes the job difficult?

Algorithm online tech tests need to get in the fucking bin.

Fuck Codility, fuck Testdome, fuck HackerRank.

This is not how you test developers!

My mom’s not too great with tech

she’s the kind of person who thinks I’m hacking when I use a terminal

My brother is teaching her to play among us, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

When the hero turns into villain.

Windows memory management is one of the worst architectural designs in tech industry to ever exist.

One mistake on my part is I did not opt for SSD four years ago when my purchased my current laptop.

The entire experience is irritating.

Google is amazingly good at using tech to solve problems we did not even know we have...

I mean.. How did we even survive til this day w/o google making restaurant reservation or barbershop calls..? We are cavemen bcz we still do it all ourselves... So inefficient..

/s

Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".

Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.

(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>

My AP CS teacher told us that we have a lab due the day after Valentine's Day. But that's not an issue for us because we are tech nerds... My face when most the class agrees.

And on today's schedule, we'll be teaching the managers how to use a new dashboard, because not only do they not understand tech, they don't understand life!

waaaah_waaaah_waaaah.mp3 🤡

I asked a co founder of a tech startup, "Why use MEAN stack? " his reaction \_(ツ)_/¯ because it's cool and famous.
STOP TRYING TO USE THINGS WHICH ARE COOL YOU'RE MAKING SOFTWARES NOT MOVIES

Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE

if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!

(feature now disabled)

I'm absolutely terrified by my company... yes, these are fridge magnets. They're all over the place. It's not a tech company, but still... o.o"

Unpopular opinion:

- It's not a guarantee that someone who gets into tech because he/she likes gaming will be a good dev

- It's not a guarantee that someone who gets into tech because he/she likes money will be a bad dev.

We need to normalize not being a passionate CS guru. You can be good at your job and not have passion for it. You don't have to dedicate your life to your career in every facet.

I don't expect plumbers to sit around their house all day during their free time hooking up water lines. Why is it expected that I'm always reading some dev book or learning some new framework or reading some tech blog?

I do other shit, and that's fine. My job earns me a paycheck and I'll improve on the clock, and when I walk out at the end of the day I leave that shit there.

At most I might converse with you informally about tech but I'm not going to spend my little free time going to meetups and pretending like I care more than I do. If you do that's great, but I'm not you and that's fuckin fine too.

Last night by accident I put my phone on coconut paste. (don't ask.)

Although it doesn't show signs of damage, and hopefully it hasn't been damaged, my heart is still not at rest. I had enough panic for one year.

But why does this keep happening to me with tech stuff accidents? Whyyyyyyy?

After weeks of feeling useless at work as being the "available tech support", but not actually doing anything, I was finally assigned a new learning task, which is looking into Prolog

Doesn't feel like my cup of tea, but at least I'm putting my head to work again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I had been an “ex-Google tech lead” for a week - so that could tell everyone I was “ex Google” as if it were like being a Dr. or something.

(not)

When I signed up for the technical college and heard that we would have media tech classes, I was expecting frontend stuff like HTML, CSS and JS, not how to make folders and change the font in notepad. Fuck.

Qt vs HTML5 everywhere, but not a single line of code in these blog posts about it.

Good job pseudo-tech-bloggers.🙄

And that comparsion. Qt vs Angular. What the fuck. Nobody uses fucken Angular.

Why do developers act like it's such a travesty when a non-techie says something wrong or ignorant about tech? It's not like we study computers and programming for a career and therefore know a lot more or anything...
Plus, it's not the non-techie's fault that the schools don't teach computer schools that well.

So TripleByte ended in rejection though they gave very detailed feedback and specific areas and even resources to look at. 👍

But it seems I'm not going to be able to escape algorithms in interviews so I'm not getting a new job anytime soon, even in tech.

So the only thing left to try in order to get my cake seems to be joining an open source project.

🪙 The golden age of tech is coming to an end. We currently live in a world of tech built by engineers and great minds; both Windows and Linux are great in their own ways. PCs are the peak of engineering, both desktops and laptops because of how versatile, powerful and universal they are. They serve engineers, designers and end users. You can do anything you can imagine; because the great people who built it, did it in such way that they themselves could use and enjoy it.

📱 The tech of the future will become ever more limited. The next generation of humans will use Chrome OS gladly and not even feel limited because they never experienced the freedom provided by a true personal computer device. Android OS is already getting ever closer to restricting 3rd party APK installers. Big tech will do everything they can to limit freedoms and make everyone use cloud, where they can charge $ for every damn click.

☎️The consumer-facing tech will become increasingly dumbed-down over time. The programmers and engineers will be still able to use "true" tech, but only for work. In everyday life, they will have to be content with the dumb limited tech.

And there is nothing we can do to stop it.

A tech stack including Microsoft Teams, Apple Safari, and WordPress - all in the same project - might have been a red flag not to work with that agency

Using "sexy" when describing jobs, tech, etc is so cringey. Can we not?

Arrived. After making the order, the company contacted me to make sure its not a misstake :D I'm having so much fun (wasted time) with this ancient tech.

I love working from home. I finally feel I'm making progress and not just extinguishing fires and doing tech support for colleagues.

Maybe I should move to freelance work after this is over...

When I became a dev my parents said: "it's not rocket science, or chemistry or anything good, but at least it's not stressful, or dangerous and we can get free tech support. I hope you are able to pay your own bills and find rent"

A few years, a degree and finding a supportive woman who is now my wife and and I make 4 time as much as my parents make now they want me to move back so they can get their tech support and see my wife I guess she is more social than I am

I do not usually shit on operating systems or participate on hate discussions about tech and what not.

But boy, Windows 11 does fucking suck and it is giving me Vista vibes regarding how much I fucking hate it. And no, unfortunately I cannot change this PC to Linux (as I have before with other work computers) since I need Windows for it.

I'm too broke rn, so can all my tech devices not act up and cooperate until I have some disposable income again?
I'd appreciate that lots.
Cheers.

My anti scammer bot works amazing. Time wasted so far: 1.5 days intensive chat.

The bot is programmed to act not be very good with tech to annoy then extra. On top is it naive and interested so asked many pictures and stuff. Hihi.

"Wifi does not have an ip address"
I hate being the family "tech" person.

While I'm not a dev, I do love computers and I do know my way around them, so friends/family often ask me for tech support.

Friend: Please fix my computer!

Me: what's wrong with it?

Friend: *sends me pic of blue screen of death*

Me: ...

Me: I don't think you understand

Best way to learn dev tech is to choose the thickest book on the field and start reading it. Don't lose your time on blogs comparing what is the best framework If you do not know any of them... Select one and full blast!!!

Realizing what tech lead is asking us to do is not a joke

Today marks literally the 4th time a recruiter has put me through to a technical test for a language/ framework i do not know. Even if you are tech illiterate just fucking ctrl f my cv to see if I know it. Absolute waste of time.

Did well at a tech screen today. it feels good to NOT feel like an idiot after an interview.

People who dont know shit about technology and dont know how much work is required to make a product are commenting on how software should be made. (Pure management background people not even senior level).
- PS. Im fine with management people with tech background.

Not my week for tech.

5 year old 21" desktop monitor burns out. 2nd monitor, so at least not completely down.

Then my toddler reached for my root beer and spills it on my 1 month old laptop. I quickly pull the plug and turn upside down, get it wiped off and pray. Next day, arrow and enter keys a little sticky and battery is blown. The 2 exact fucking reasons I bought the new laptop. (keyboard issues and battery)

Keep em coming tech gods.

Not tech related, but out of pure interest: Who else is into deathmetal, deathcore, slam death metal, black metal etc ? \m/

I don't understand why there is such a hypocritic professionalism in tech industry.

In the careers page ,these companies show smiling people, party images , slides and shit. And while selecting resumes, they want to scan buzzwords to select a particular candidate and hate "actual" introductions.

Like, how would you like to meet someone in a bar , who introduces himself as " a super enthusiastic 10x engineer and a tech enthusiast with a knack of building scalable and industry recognized softwares in x tech for last y years". Dude, introduce yourself as a human not a bot.

There is a clear difference when we are talking about personal stuff and when we are talking about tech in real life, why not maintain that in your resume?

But no, just write a single sentence in first person p.o.v and next thing you know, you see tons of LinkedIn post about "how to write a 'professional' resume"

I really enjoy programming but I don't care about having the latest smartphone or the more powerfull computer. I'm not a tech guy, not even a geek... Sometimes people don't understand me for that, am I the only one ?

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

Anyone else have a coworker that tries to act like you and manages to completely fuck up everything to the point where if you go to your boss about it you're the one in trouble and not them. -_-

High school tech team job sucks

The biggest race ..
Intern wanna be junior,
junior wanna be intermediate,
intermediate wanna be senior

And the fear not to be lower then each other may be the reason why tech is
moving so fast on never ending race

Everyday tech support struggles:

- "I can't find my document."

- "Ok where did you save it?"

- "In Word."

- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"

- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"

Tech illiterate partner in startup: "We need a password to add your social media profile because people are misspelling their names and now im getting someone i dont know when I click the link"

Me:
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... how about... idk.. not misspelling your username or just edit it...

Finding out how not to do it.

An example, learning how to parse HTML, and finding a stackoverflow post with the answer "use regex" triggers tech junkies so much that they actually comment a mostly accepted way of doing something.

Sometimes I wonder how large the gap between tech savvy n normal is.

All those stories about too much time on social media...

and also not knowing why you should get a tempered glass screen protector.... Even if you're screen is reinforced with Gorilla Glass...

*sees a new tech/framework/language*

*dives straights to download just checking for windows/mac/linux*

*downloaded product doesn't start/gives error/complains because some prerequisites are not met*

*after some frustration it starts to work*

*To not offend the Gods, writes "Hello World"*

*Carry a "Hackerman" face all day*

*Updates resume*

1) keeping my shit together until my 3 month notice period is done.
2) moving cross country.
3) starting a new job with a new tech stack which I'm not as experienced in.

Just got off a call doing some classic "I know you are not tech support but please help me connect my iPhone to my computer", and I heard the following words:

"What's the Windows start button?"

This was not a boomer. This was not a Gen Y, Gen X, or even Millenial!

I shit you not, a zoomer did not know what or where the windows start button was.

I'm sure every tech can relate when I say: "Do not! Interrupt! My weekend! With fucking! Tech issues! Thank you!".

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

Took about 67 hours to do homework task and still not got the job offer. And they kept asking few times when I will send the task, because they saw me as very likely me fitting, so I thought there is high chance to get and was motivated to do the homework.
Of course that much time took because I did not know technologies, it would be much less if I knew tech.
But at least learned new tech.

Why are there bots on devrant now this app has like 50 active users and we’re all tech savvy enough to know not to fall for a shit crypto scam damnit I hate crypto just shut up about blockchain we get it you’re compensating for something

"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"

nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s

stop it. just stop it.

"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools

tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube

😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"

Great.

My mother got a "smarter than her phone" (her words).

Now she's realized she can text me inchorent questions about their home network at all hours.

Been at interview today for some mobile banking app. Female interviewer describes the process: tech scrrwning for their company, then tech interview for client company, then coding challengde than hiring manager offer. I said I am not doing that, I cannot pass those, my brain freezes at those challenges. I can offer pair programing up to two hours with their programmer. Interview ended quickly amd I am glad I stood up against that nonsense.

Absolutely nothing excites me anymore in this field. Tech is such a commodity and I’m just so over all of it. Not gonna go all Ted Kaczinsky but I find myself longing for a time when not everything and everyone was controlled by computers. We’re not far from total transhumanism and despite what some may believe, that’s not a good thing.

When the anti-tech departments pretend that remote work don't exist and annoy people about things that really don't matter, specially when you are not in the office. Like massage chairs or birthday cakes for someone you never/hardly ever met.

(bullshit departments like celebrations, facilities, marketing, culture, I swear I'm not making those up)

I never dream about tech (at least not specific) but recently I had a dream rotating around the fact that terminators (e.g. T-800) are safe to be stored on Windows 95 as they can only boot from NES cartridge.

Anyone elsd burned the fuck out?

I fucking am!

What is another career in tech I can move to from developer? Don’t mind going back to school to pick up new skills.

Not even on devrant anyone like I was.

Feelin' not prepared but also prepared for code samples and tech interviews. Can companies just believe that we are capable of building awesome shit & hire us?! You feel me?

I work in tech support right now... 80% of my job is waiting around for presenters to show up to events and end up not wanting any tech.

Should not we update the joke about “my FBI agent” to “Google”? Serious question about tech surveillance.

"We are releasing today" - sentence my project/tech manager keep saying for a week now. Of course, we changed few core components during the week - because, why not - and nothing works now.

PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."

sounds familiar?

this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.

This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:

The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...

The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.

I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...

Anyone else here suffering under a tech lead who instead functions as a business analyst and ignores their dev process in favor of stakeholder demands?

Case in point: our tech lead actually said in our latest retrospective (yes, we're running on Agile) that we should align our schedule to business. So wtf are we even doing Agile sprints for effs sake (this we did not say for fear of losing our jobs)

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

Best thing about being a dev?

Going on Roblox and some kid claims he was a hacker, then you tell him why he isn't and does not know any of the tech terms you use. Then again why am I playing roblox

I have almost 8 years of experience, am currently a tech lead in the company im at (a big known music and video streaming platform), i live and breathe tech...

and someone i interviewed for (in a 4 year old fintech startup) wants to put me in a mid level position because he "felt i lacked depth". apart from his feelings he failed to make me understand how I'm not senior enough for him.

so how do i become deep? what is this depth he speaks of?

Everytime i buy any electronics , my brother would suggest me to buy latest ones with the newest configuration . His logic was " If you buy a not-so new tech now.. It will outdate fast and you will end up with an outdated one soon.. So the extra 10K is worth considering that " .

Considering the development trend i personally think it is useless to invest in electronics unless necessary . Everytime i buy an electronic product , within 2 or 3 months i find the same good at almost 75% of the price.. So with tech prices falling like this.. i think it is worth saving that money instead of the cutting edge tech which i wont need for another 2 years .

Thoughts ?

(The cousin brother i mentioned does this everytime he buys a phone and ends up changing the phone 4 times faster than me.. and the use case is similar to mine if not worse..)

I can't be arsed with jobs that mention tensorflow alone as their main tech.

If your company is willing to use tf and not keras, then y'all probably didn't understand what you're dealing with to begin with.

*Red flags and sirens in distance for bad designs*

The tech being rude about my RSA token not working locking me out trying to use a USB override stick...he got so mad he just walked out 😂

!rant
Windows sux (still, much more usable for me than Linux on a day-to-day / fixing-my-neighbors'-tech basis), but Linux Subsystem on Windows...?
I just found out about it, and installed Ubuntu on my main Win10 laptop...

I'm not even mad - this is awesome!

Just happened today!

So since this morning we've been trying to get our website ready for UAT deployment Monday next week, even though we only were told of it yesterday. Since we had some critical merge conflicts to unscrew on our dev branch for promoting to UAT, we sent a warning to everyone on our hipchat group

Dev team: @all please don't commit anything to the repo for an hour or so while we get the branch good for dev and uat build

Tech lead: ok

That should be enough warning, right? Surely our tech lead, who has been piling up our scope creep trying to please our stakeholders, understands well enough not to do a single goddamn thing on our repo until we sort it out, right?

Nope.

10 minutes later our tech lead pushes several changes that not only break our builds but also remove all our configuration transformations. I just stormed out of the office to avoid sending her on a one-way ticket to slapsville and fuckyoutown. Geez goddamn louise.

Boss: not upgrading Angular v1 or rewriting everything on the modern tech stack.

But we need to resolve all the security issues we're getting flagged on.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Being the only developer in your circle of non-tech friends is weird 😕.
And why are most female programmers not appealing 🤦‍♂️.
The beautiful ones are usually clueless and can't get into a ”deep programming concept ”conversation.
I guess I can't eat my cake and have it at a time.

I was moved from a team I loved where I felt my tech leads were competent, where my tech leads valued my skills and my manager was fabulous and excelled at making sure everyone had the resources they needed and was rewarded for good work, to a team where my tech leads are inconpetent and constantly treat all the junior devs with condescension. Additonally, although my new manager seems nice and has good intentions, she is focused too much on the results of work and not the morale of her team. Consequently, she consistently ignores the negative feedback that is given about the tech leads because "the tech lead gets the results"

I just realized something. So my company's whole release process and code management now run on mainstream tech products: Atlassian, Jetbrains, IBM and not in house/vendor crap

Boss(non-technical) complains we are behind the schedule he set without consulting the tech team, the complains we don't all(including BAs) don't do code review. CHOOSE!

*Note: I am not bashing code review*

In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?

I suppose I'm lucky.. My family, though not exceedingly tech savvy, are all very proud of me, and support my line of work.

Tales from University Tech Support:

Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30

Obviously not a Math Major...

Remembers a time when I was considered non-technical founder and not taken seriously as credible tech company leader by smart ass VCs

Years invested in learning, experimenting, building. Now somewhat capable.

Considered too technical to be understood by dumb ass VCs.

😤

Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too.

My company wanted to move old desktop applications to web and use angularJS. Finally, "new" tech. Not allowed to use node and Mongo because maybe someone who joins the Web team don't know Javascript and only sql experience ... Time to dust off my CV

I don't like when client decide which tech use in the project. I got some weird tech request like:
1. Move existing database from postgresql to Hadoop because hadoop is Big Data (is kinda move from amazon rds to amazon s3 just why? have you index, cluster your postgresql table?)
2. Move from mysql to postgresql because mysql cause deadlock (maybe their previous developer just fucking moron)
In this situation we just explain why we don't use that and propose alternative solution. If they insist with their solution either ignore it or decide not continuing the project.

How to impress the extent of your power over your employees and partners:

1. Make the tech team spend inordinate amounts of effort to investigate someone stealing an almost worthless piece of junk, to make an example for the rest of the workforce.

2. Complain in "secret" meetings that the tech team is not up to the task of delivering the project.

3. Announce that the project will probably, but not certainly, be shut down.

I currently work in data analysis.

Yesterday one of the colleagues working in a different department came to me asking if I could fix his malfunctioning headphone set :/

I told PM that a feature is only ready on Thursday. He goes and tells Tuesday to the business owner. Comes to me and says make it happen. Nope, sorry. Not going to happen.
Non-tech people should not make commitments. I long for the day their jobs become obsolete.

I actually learned alot about software development after getting a job and doing it for a year, but not in my 4 years of B. Tech Education.

- Frustrated Indian

Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.

Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.

Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.

They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.

To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.

Hey so Father's Day is coming up, any ideas for gifts? He's like 60 and though a dev, not really a tech type.

I realized something. No matter what tech i use to code a project there will always be a dev to take a shit on it

someone will recommend to use redis, after i use redis some other dev will trash me for having such a poor choice and recommend me socket.io

Then if i use socket.io some 3rd dev will trash me cause thats not the right way of building stuff and recommend me kafka

If i use kafka some 4th dev will trash me and say why i dont use angular

If I use angular 5th dev will trash me for not using react

If i use react 6th dev will trash me for not using nextjs

Tired of this bullshit

I'll use whatever tech i need. If i dont know what to use ill ask and take the first suggestion. I'll just build a saas and when it starts earning money ill pay other devs to refactor and scale the hell hole (which wont be cause i write good code following solid principles and not spaghetti). Much simpler solution than wrecking my head with decisions of tech stack

A coversation with a classmate:
(We embraced Node and Javascript but he had no interest at all)

Me: So what tech stack do we use for this project?
Him: You guys decide... I'm fine with anything.
Me: So you're fine with any tech we use? No opinions?
(We need confirmation from all members but he, being the uninterested person he was, gave half-hearted replies)
Him: I'm actually a ROR person, not interested in node.
Us: ....

Dude we understand that you prefer ruby but at least help us decide! We studied all of this together... sheesh

A friend who's working as a contractor for a huge client decided to rewrite their interface cause it's old and not user friendly with new tech. Fast forward the client said it's not what they asked for, he should'nt have done that and they'll not be using it. He replied: "I've done it for myself to be up to date. I found a new company here's my resignation".

Signed up for Prime this morning... And just got 2 emails from Amazon recruiters.

Thought all the tech companies had hiring freezes... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way I'm not on the market.

The other week a Comcast tech was out to install some new equipment. He was unsure whether an antenna could be placed outdoors, so he asked on a Comcast tech group chat. Within seconds he received a response from another tech: "Google it". It just amused me slightly that it's not just developers who get this response, and also made me a little bit mad because I know the frustration of being told to Google something even when I am asking in the right place.

Do these stupid tech writers even research what they talk about, if it's not the same 5 points as every other article on the topic then it's an article written this week on '5 Open Source HTML and CSS Editors and they mention Brackets.

Fair enough... but they link to the adobe Gitub, saying it ""isn’t super actively maintained"" which I guess is accurate since it has been dead for 2 years. Rather than the more recently updated 'brackets-cont' project that had a release back in October 2022.

Like fuck it's like these tech writers just pump out content years after it's relevant without any research or editing.

Pointless complaining I know but it bothers me how mindless mainstream tech writing is, it's all the same regurgitated ideas, or outdated information. Not saying I could fix it, but I'm sure someone out there can do something.

"Dear" tech lead... Editing Cloud Function with GCP's online IDE is not equivalent to versioning your code. Use a proper VCS dammit. It's fucking sprint 3 already... Ugh

No i dont want to fix your damn printer! we are devs for F sake! Not tech support!

tech D&D
dev = fighter
ops = cleris
network = wizard
design = bard
dba = warlock
infosec = rogue

it is not mine but i think its great analogy. and because i always choose the warlock

Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular

Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?

Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one

Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?

Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page

Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does

Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.

Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...

Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?

Me: ummmm.....

... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....

Just want to share some admiration to all the tech youtubers out there who write and read out their scripts with the amount of information and technicalities...

Been working on a script for about a week now and holy shit it is not easy at all!

Realizing my currently degree plan will not transfer to a 4 year university where I can get my bachelors, I have decided to stop taking all tech classes and focus on the classes that will transfer such as English, Calc, History and Government.

When you wake up in the morning To a text that's says "my computers broke"

From a dev perspective Facebook is a piece of shit, if someone like me get stuck with things like creating a page, what would be like for someone who's not comfortable with tech things. They have the ressources to make it Apple like UX .....

Can you all show me some of your favorite business cards? Tech or not, doesn't matter.

Thanks!

Now I have to make updates in three different tools about the projects I’m working on, this is stupid since we work for a tech company and we shouldn’t be using fucking Power Point to update statuses on projects. Management should be making other’s life easier not harder. 🥸

There's a tech job fair happening today, and I either have to leave work early or just not come to work at all to be able to go there. I really wanna get a new job, and I might regret it if I don't go there. Should I not come to work?

When a non-tech friend who does not know many English words and slangs wants to talk about Google Assistant and abbreviates it to GooAss.

"You listen to me, you muscle-bound, handsome Adonis. Tech is reserved for people like me, okay? The freaks, the weirdos, the misfits, the geeks, the dweebs, the dorks! Not you!"

— Richard fucken Hendricks

#bestshowever

Need advice guys

Where I'm working now I'm the tech lead, but I'm not happy. I want to get deeper into infrastructure and DevOps but I have no scope for that.

I have an offer from another company. A very small raise. Supposedly will lead to tech lead in 6 months after I help them recruit a team. Offered mid. I went back and said because of uncertainty about where the role would head, and coming from where I am, I would accept the offer with the title so I have more confidence about the future of the role.

They came back with a senior role, not tech lead, saying there's no scope for that yet. They also said they envision giving me architecture control and letting me train and drive the cloud process.

But this is all heresay. I could take the role, the project is postponed, there is no team to be a tech lead for, and so no pay increase or opportunity to learn.

Opinions?

It is good for someone who wants to learn. Someone who want to know what the benefit, pros and cons of the tech that they are not familiar with.

It is not good for someone who think they can get a job after they finished.

In this industry, you never stop learning.

Something managers need to understand:

Developers are not a bag of M&M's to pick from and arrange them on the customer's table, neither are they LittleBits or LEGO pieces to click together for the customer to play with.

We can't possibly satisfy every client skill need. We need time to learn, and not by fudging around with the tech in production or similar.

Every time there is a new project, we programmers swear to ourselves that we will code it better this time. We get elated that we do not have to deal with the tech debts piled up in the old module.

Hey people,

Can anyone point me at a cms that I don't have to fight with design and programming wise but is still easy for someone not even close to tech savy to edit and add content?

What happens as you accrue years of experience is, you feel as if you learned a lot, actually its yes and no, yes because working in an environment with deadlines teaches things, no because the tech is changing.

The fact is tech is changing every few months if not year, one should be having a baby's curiosity to learn and adapt to the new practices.

When I started my tech career I was having a growth mindset, as I went on I felt somehow I got into a fixed mindset and got frustrated often. It's better late than never to realize that you may get wrong more often than right and learn to have an open mind when working.

Finally always take it easy on yourself, learn and move on.

When you're a better programmer then your tech teacher (he studied video editing in college so he gets a break) so you're expected to resolve everyone's tech issues while you don't know much yourself so you have to cheat your way through. 😩😩

Good thing I'm the only one not using graphical view in dream weaver. Lol

"Download our app for some lovely additional ass licking features....."

Why tech industry love apps? also I hate these days not only mobile phones, but also computers are in progression of "applification."

Programs are only installed do some advanced things that were absurd and inappropriate to work on web browser. like video editing or programming, or file management.. etc. but in recent days, everything is fucking apps. why just not improve your web version of your service and make the shortcut from that? Weather app. youtube app. reddit app. 'tips' app by apple that is totally useless. news app. map app. so much wasteful. these kind of services are MUST be on the UPPER layer than the web browser laid on. also apps are taking much resources on local hardware and that makes my hardware too much slow.

That is not how tech works. that is not how software engineering, hardware engineering works, every single thing in technology must NOT work like that. If it does, then that is not technology, and just stack of cow shit.

(Italy)
In 1 word: SUCKS
In 2 words: SUCKS HARD

Basically you work in companies that are either not tech oriented and use you as an extra (eg: fix printer, sort boss fantastic vacation pictures in his overpowered Mac) or if the company main business is tech, they are FANGS-wannabe that pretend to compete with world biggest companies with a severely understaffed crew that they pay as clerks

I use Google, stackoverflow, tech documentations to unstuck myself and I'm not afraid to admit it coz ham

Not a fight per se, but I once had a debate with a tech lead who thought you could set a variable in the ‘then’ clause of a Javascript promise and just use said variable after the promise declaration and assume it would be populated.
“no.... thats not how asynchronous code works.”

Not really comp Sci related but

Does anyone know any good audio editing software my friend wants to start working on getting into the audio industry and I as the tech nerd friend want to help him

I love that moment in the company when my opinion does not matter about but the time gives the reason to the crazy tech guy that nobody listen in first place

How the heck can Twitter's algorithms for selecting "Who to follow" and "Trends" suggestions? I tweet exclusively (but rarely) about tech, but Twitter seems to think that loudmouthed SJWs would be the perfect people for a tech tweeter to follow.

FFS, intersectional gender studies from a class struggle perspective are not of the slightest interest to a techie.

Maybe Twitter just selects the most frequent tweeters in you area, regardless of content.

Building a development department from the ground up is exhausting AF i mean all the research, trying to find best industrial standards to us, best practices, main tech stack to use, working on projects and trying not to get fired

My fiancee was a developer and is now starting recruiting. The recruitment agency knows that she's a tech girl. I'm trying to push her to get all the IT recruitment jobs, because we all know that java != javascript, she does too, but 99% of recruiters do not. Whats the best way you were approached by a recruiter? And should she show to the recruitees that she has tech knowledge? Would you , yourself look at a recruiter that knows about IT differently? Advice appreciated :)

Ever wondered how Elon himself talked about not messing with AI in the past. I vaugely remember this was when there was a clash between Mark and Elon. And now Elon's companies OpenAI and Neuralink working on advanced tech. The same tech he told everyone to not mess with.

I haven't followed the trail of events clearly. But now this thought comes to my mind.

Anyone thinks the same? Or am I missing something?

Got an interview at a financial tech firm. I asked them what I should wear:

Engineering is a casual environment, so we encourage you to wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. We are focused on your knowledge and skillset, not your outfit, so please come as you are.

Not a suit, OK... but not sure if I should wear weekend casual or my usual business casual/work clothes...

That I'm too focused on it. And that I'll never be as good as I want to be.

I'm aware these concerns conflict with each other a bit.

My first concern comes from not devoting more time to other hobbies that just let me do things away from my computer, tech related or not. And the second comes from feeling like I've hit a wall and I don't know how to produce better projects beyond that wall ATM and when I do put time into other hobbies/skills even if it is tech related I feel as if I'm not progressing. It's frustrating.

These are both things I've been working on lately. Cutting social media has helped a little bit.

My non-tech cousin just asked me if he can use the second SIM slot in his phone as a slot for inserting a SD card since he doesn't have a second SIM and the phone does not have a memory card slot. I said yes 😂😝

I love doing multiple tech things. Development, Ops and security. Why can't people see this as tech experience and not individual subdomain experience. Why can't people switch jobs easily over Dev, Sec and Ops?
Smh.

Saw a bit of chat of Windows Defender being not such a bad free product... Is anyone here like me (and old enough to be in the tech world at the time) and miss Norton's products, _before_ it was taken over by Symantec?

Not a rant, just a quick question. If I very little interest in studying algorithms, will I ever be allowed into a tech shop?