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This is a fun conversation I had:
Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒
I am the best at interpersonal communication.17 -
And here comes the last part of my story so far.
After deploying the domain, configuring PCs, configuring the server, configuring the switch, installing software, checking that the correct settings have been applied, configuring MS Outlook (don't ask) and giving each and every user a d e t a i l e d tutorial on using the PC like a modern human and not as a Homo Erectus, I had to lock my door, put down my phone and disconnect the ship's announcement system's speaker in my room. The reasons?
- No one could use USB storage media, or any storage media. As per security policy I emailed and told them about.
- No one could use the ship's computers to connect to the internet. Again, as per policy.
- No one had any games on their Windows 10 Pro machines. As per policy.
- Everyone had to use a 10-character password, valid for 3 months, with certain restrictions. As per policy.
For reasons mentioned above, I had to (almost) blackmail the CO to draft an order enforcing those policies in writing (I know it's standard procedure for you, but for the military where I am it was a truly alien experience). Also, because I never trusted the users to actually backup their data locally, I had UrBackup clone their entire home folder, and a scheduled task execute a script storing them to the old online drive. Soon it became apparent why: (for every sysadmin this is routine, but this was my first experience)
- People kept deleting their files, whining to me to restore them
- People kept getting locked out because they kept entering their password WRONG for FIVE times IN a ROW because THEY had FORGOTTEN the CAPS lock KEY on. Had to enter three or four times during weekend for that.
- People kept whining about the no-USB policy, despite offering e-mail and shared folders.
The final straw was the updates. The CO insisted that I set the updates to manual because some PCs must not restart on their own. The problem is, some users barely ever checked. One particular user, when I asked him to check and do the updates, claimed he did that yesterday. Meanwhile, on the WSUS console: PC inactive for over 90 days.
I blocked the ship's phone when I got reassigned.
Phiew, finally I got all those off my chest! Thanks, guys. All of the rants so far remind me of one quote from Dave Barry:
7 -
I worked on a greenfield project a couple of years ago. The company had an old solution written in Omnis (heard of it? Yeah, me neither) with an SQL database. My team was to create a completely new web based system... on top of the old database, so the customers could keep their existing stuff.
The dba was an intelligent man, one of the nicest people I've met, and over the course of fifteen years he had made a remarkably terrifying monstrosity of a database. Some years before me they wanted to "future proof" the system and make it "easier to switch to new technologies". So they moved the entire business logic into the database...
I used a tool to create a visualization of said database when we started. It had no views, only tables and sprocs. Look at it! Tables and sprocs are rectangles (well, dots) and any connections are drawn in grey lines. There were no foreign keys, so a tables only visualization only yielded a collection of independent rectangles without a single line.
Now, the stored procedures were bloody MASSIVE. A single procedure that only registered a new interested party and attached them to a property had 2500+ lines and over 150 parameters.
Also, this dba added features and fixed bugs by logging into the respective customers production server and writing SQL.
That database is the stupidest thing I've ever seen a developer do.
34 -
!dev !rant - only very sad
I have been through the worst and saddest week of my life.
Sadly, it's getting worse every day.
I've been travelling around the world in my RV for years and haven't seen my parents for several years. Since I recently successfully completed a huge project and now have some spare time, I thought it would be nice to visit my parents. Everything went well. We were glad to see each other after a long time and had a nice day together. My father works as a security guard and had to go to work early in the evening. So I stayed alone with my mother.
In the evening my mother went to bed earlier than usual because she didn't feel well. I wished her a good night and wanted to surf the internet. But somehow I had a strange feeling (maybe a premonition) and after 5 minutes I went into her bedroom to bring her a glass of water and at this very moment she suffered a heart attack. I threw it all away and called 911 immediately. I shouted the address into the phone, screamed emergency, heart failure, unconscious while trying to start resuscitation at the same time. Fortunately, the ambulance was nearby, arrived in just a few minutes, pushed me aside and started the resuscitation procedure. It took more than an hour and dozens of electric shocks to even get a pulse.
The ambulance took her to the hospital for further medical treatment. I was in the hospital all night until at least she had a stable pulse.
As soon as I returned to my parents' house (the car was still warm, hardly 3 minutes have passed), my father, who had returned from work a few minutes earlier, suddenly suffered a thrombosis in his leg. The whole leg was slowly turning black. I immediately dragged him into the car and drove him as fast as I could to the hospital.
It's Sunday now. I haven't slept since Thursday and I've been in the hospital all the time. Both are in a coma, fighting for their lives. I thought it couldn't get any worse, my mother got sepsis and pneumonia today.
Now I have returned to my parents' house and pray that both of them will survive. Can't sleep even though I'm tired to death. Can't work, try to distract me somehow. Maybe I'll be able to sleep at least two hours. Then I'll go back to the hospital.
What a damn fuckin' week.45 -
Found this gem on GitHub:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Ref : https://github.com/zepouet/...16 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
I have this guy who screams and keeps on slamming the table in a meeting room (there is only the project developer inside), about how important to LTRIM RTRIM in sql, combining multiple insert into 1 stored procedure, making a big deals of small feature since we’re on a tight schedule, bla bla bla
Worse retard ever
I almost punched him12 -
I'm convinced code addiction is a real problem and can lead to mental illness.
Dev: "Thanks for helping me with the splunk API. Already spent two weeks and was spinning my wheels."
Me: "I sent you the example over a month ago, I guess you could have used it to save time."
Dev: "I didn't understand it. I tried getting help from NetworkAdmin-Dan, SystemAdmin-Jake, they didn't understand what you sent me either."
Me: "I thought it was pretty simple. Pass it a query, get results back. That's it"
Dev: "The results were not in a standard JSON format. I was so confused."
Me: "Yea, it's sort-of JSON. Splunk streams the result as individual JSON records. You only have to deserialize each record into your object. I sent you the code sample."
Dev: "Your code didn't work. Dan and Jake were confused too. The data I have to process uses a very different result set. I guess I could have used it if you wrote the class more generically and had unit tests."
<oh frack...he's been going behind my back and telling people smack about my code again>
Me: "My code wouldn't have worked for you, because I'm serializing the objects I need and I do have unit tests, but they are only for the internal logic."
Dev:"I don't know, it confused me. Once I figured out the JSON problem and wrote unit tests, I really started to make progress. I used a tuple for this ... functional parameters for that...added a custom event for ... Took me a few weeks, but it's all covered by unit tests."
Me: "Wow. The way you explained the project was; get data from splunk and populate data in SQLServer. With the code I sent you, sounded like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Oooh nooo...its waaay more complicated than that. I have this very complex splunk query, which I don't understand, and then I have to perform all this parsing, update a database...which I have no idea how it works. Its really...really complicated."
Me: "The splunk query returns what..4 fields...and DBA-Joe provided the upsert stored procedure..sounds like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Maybe for you...we're all not super geniuses that crank out code. I hope to be at your level some day."
<frack you ... condescending a-hole ...you've got the same seniority here as I do>
Me: "No seriously, the code I sent would have got you 90% done. Write your deserializer for those 4 fields, execute the stored procedure, and call it a day. I don't think the effort justifies the outcome. Isn't the data for a report they'll only run every few months?"
Dev: "Yea, but Mgr-Nick wanted unit tests and I have to follow orders. I tried to explain the situation, but you know how he is."
<fracking liar..Nick doesn't know the difference between a unit test and breathalyzer test. I know exactly what you told Nick>
Dev: "Thanks again for your help. Gotta get back to it. I put a due date of April for this project and time's running out."
APRIL?!! Good Lord he's going to drag this intern-level project for another month!
After he left, I dug around and found the splunk query, the upsert stored proc, and yep, in about 15 minutes I was done.1 -
Why is the contributing manual of your open source project more thoughtfully cultivated than your code style guide and testing procedure?
Why the fuck do you care about the message in my PR, or even merge vs rebase of commits, when your spaghetti-tomatosource is so richly saturated with critically minced bugmeat?
Why are you standing there, shouting at me about your convoluted rules, in your little brown uniform? Why do I feel like the enemy when I contribute a useful fix, something which makes the code work better?
You know what, fuck all of you, you jilted acetous neckbeards, I will deploy my secret weapon, I will bypass the power you hold over your tiny fascist digital dominions.
If you play it like this, I will summon the nefarious vile side of Open Source. I will usurp your throne. I will stab out your crying eyes, rip out your conceited tongue, impale your lonely heart.
Tremble before me! I wield the almighty, legendary Fork!
The king is dead, long live the king!5 -
Motherfucking WordPress coupled with motherfucking sales people.
If you promise the client something, please fucking relay it via the correct process (i.e the fucking ticketing system that took me a month to write for the company - it's seriously just a click away on your desktop.). "I told your boss" is not a fucking apt excuse.
My boss forgets, and well, doesn't give a fuck about procedure either.
Now you phone my boss and he phones me, on a fucking Sunday evening, telling me that the client was promised a website by tomorrow morning at 10AM. You tell me this at fucking 9PM.
Why didn't you tell me earlier? How the fuck am I supposed to shit out something I would be proud of in a few hours? Nevermind me fucking up my sleeping routine; how the fuck?
Conversation went like this:
"xyz was promised this site by sales person fuckTwit, I need this live by Monday morning. I have sent you a few images. Make it in WordPress, client says they want a 'tangy looking theme'.
Me: it's a bit unrealistic requesting this, is there no way we can extend the time so I have time to create this?
Also, what do you mean by 'tangy'?
Boss: don't know. Make it happen. No excuses.
What the fuck is a tangy theme? When I become a webDev at the company? More importantly, fucking WordPress?!
Now I'm sitting on this shit, tired as a manatee in mating season, and using goddamn WordPress.
I have to halt my irritation, because I get severely irritated when I'm tired, I have to restrain myself from telling the involved parties tomorrow to install the FuckYourself WordPress plugin, coupled with a resignation letter.
Same sales person got me in shit a while ago, because I refused to give him access to the network to download fucking cartoons. Sales director went and moaned that his bitch (the sales person) needs this for a presentation. Yeah fucking right.
Go Snorkelling in a sewer truck you egotistic, megalomaniacal, indecent, outrageous, horrible motherfucker of a person.
Time to develop a fucking website with, oh, a company profile pamphlet.
Times like this I keep telling myself, "my time will come, my time will come".14 -
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
Few phrases you should not say at Job:
1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure
Comment if you have more.36 -
Fucking hell, the devs before write a query that pulls 30ish column for a report. When I break it down MANUALLY, since it’s a spaghetti on top of another spaghetti, you only need 6. Fuck you, did you dropped your head when you was a kid? Fuck sake, and every query is written in stored procedure even though you’re using an entity libraries16
-
I've found sites like Udemy/Khanacademy/Codecademy/Brilliant/Edx to be very useful — possibly more useful than expensive education.
But they still need:
1. Better correction/update mechanisms. Human teachers make mistakes and material gets outdated, and while online teachers are rectified faster than classroom teachers, the procedure is still not optimal. Knowledge should be a bit more like a verified wiki.
2. Some have great interactive coding environments, some have great videos, some have awesome texts, some have helpful communities. None has it all. In the end, I don't want to learn a new language by writing code in my browser. It could all be integrated/synced to the point where IDEs have plugins which are synced to online videos, with tests and exercises built in, up to a social network where you could send snippets for review and add reviews to other people's code.
3. Accreditation. Some platforms offer this against payment, but I think those platforms often feel very old school (pun intended), with fixed schedules, marks and enrollments. Self paced is a must.
4. Depth is important. Current online courses are often a bit introductory. We need more advanced courses about algorithms, theoretical computer science, code design, relational algebra, category theory, etc. I get that it's about supply/demand, but we will eventually need to have those topics covered.
I do believe that for CS, full online education will eventually win from the classroom — it's still in its infancy, but has more potential to grow into correct, modern education.10 -
Gotta keep that code DRY...
"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter." -- Nathaniel S. Borenstein, computer scientist1 -
An application based on a single MySQL stored procedure that contained all the application business logic inside of it (plus a poor webapp that simply called it). The stored procedure had 97 (yes, NINETY SEVEN) parameters... and about half of them were boolean flag used for enabling/disabling another parameter. I think that Uncle Bob could follow you holding an AK-47 if he saw that. The saddest part is that the shit was written by a guy having a PhD in computer science, and he knew that was bad, but the boss asked him to do it in that way. The guy left the company before I joined it and I had to maintain that crap. Guys, the first time I saw it I thought that should be a joke. Code generated by decompilers was easier to read, maybe even Brainfuck. I tried complaining with the boss but she said that the system was wonderful and very efficient. This was one of the reasons I moved to another company after some months.3
-
Most satisfying bug I've fixed?
Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.
After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.
After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.
The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.
My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..
public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
{
foreach (var item in products)
{
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
productIdsParameter.Add(item.ProductID);
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
{
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
{
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
return prices;
}
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
}
}
}
I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.
The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..
DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"
Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.5 -
So when @dfox and @trogus cross 500++ on their rants, do they just take a stressball for themselves or go through the emailing procedure ?
Asking for a friend...6 -
Got really pissed off writing a stored procedure the other day because the reason behind it is absolute bullshit.
Gave sproc to QA for peer review before release.
QA: why are the variables called @FuckThisShit and @ThisIsBollocks?
Whoops, guess I was more angry than I thought 😂3 -
TFW your client's git policies are so draconian that the dev teams use "develop" as trunk, and completely ignore the release process.
I wrote up 50 pages of git standards, documentation and procedure for a client. Bad indian director 9000 decides the admin (also Indian) who specializes in Clearcase and has no git or development experience is more qualified to decide and let's him set the policy.
FF to today:
- documentation, mostly contradictory, is copy pasted from the atlassian wiki
- source tree is the standard
- no force pushing of any branches, including work branches
- no ff-merge
- no rebasing allowed
- no ssh, because he couldn't figure it out...errr it's "insecure"
- all repos have random abbreviated names that are unintelligible
- gitflow, but with pull requests and no trust
- only project managers can delete a branch
- long lived feature branches
- only projects managers can conduct code reviews
- hotfixes must be based off develop
- hotfixes must go in the normal release cycle
- releases involve creating a ticket to have an admin create a release branch from your branch, creating a second ticket to stage the PR, a third ticket to review the PR (because only admins can approve release PRs), and a fourth ticket to merge it in
- rollbacks require director signoff
- at the end of each project the repo must be handed to the admin on a burned CD for "archiving"
And so no one actually uses the official release process, and just does releases out of dev. If you're wondering if IBM sucks, the answer is more than you can possibly imagine.11 -
During a recruitment procedure I was provided a IDE to solve some programming questions. The computer had a bunch of fuck all anti virus including avast, mcafee, it stopped every execution and scanned it for like 10sec.
McAfee fucking deleted the program for no reason giving a malicious code alert on a normal c++ program.
I called the sys Admin to inspect, guess what he did.
Fucking uninstall McAfee. Woow.7 -
Ticket: “feature [x] doesn’t work”
Me: “I’ll need more details: how do I reach feature [x]? In which of the three projects you assigned me is that?”
Manager: “the design is in the ticket”
Me, in my head: “can you effin listen to what I told you before giving air to your mouth?”
Me, in person: “yeah I just need to know which project this refers to and how to reach it”
Manager: “but you have to open the ticket as a separate page!”
Me: “sure!” *waits 15 min, opens a ticket for more details, assigns it to manager, flags as blocking, flags the other one as blocked*
5 mins later: details are given and I can proudly fox it by remembering the manager they have to login in order to see feature [x]
Later in the workweek:
Manager at 8:00 URGENT FEATURE! MUST BE DELIVERED BY EOD
Me, 10:00 “can jump on it, need authorisation for [a procedure]
Me, 11,12,13,15,16,17:30: pings for an answer
Manager, 17:58 “ah sorry didn’t see, we can do it tomorrow”
Is this the matrix? Am I being stopped from developing cause I am randomly accessing matrix’s code without knowing it? Is this the Truman show? And most importantly: can I please take part to a manager hiring session? I am curious to see how tf you hire such peculiar people.10 -
One developer to me:
I will need access to root account on that new machine you just installed so that I can install/configure all the stuff and so you won't have to do it.
Me - I can't give you root. Not even sudo, this will be a production machine, I need to have a clean track of it.
D - but I will give it (root) back to you once I'm done.
Me - look pal, root access is like virginity. I can give it away but I will never be able to get it back.
D - But you can remove my access later. And, talking about virginity, there are operations that "restore" virginity ;)
Me - yes, and I can take access to root from you afterwards, which would be similar to the procedure you are referring to. But it won't change the fact that the server was already fucked. -
I'm so close to giving up. Yesterday, I travelled 4 hours in one direction for a job interview for a graduate position as a web developer. As I arrived at the interview, I was welcomed by a senior dev and one of the HR people.
I sit down and they start explaining how everything will commence(standard procedure stuff) and afterwards hand me the technical test. At this time I am super calm cause I did my homework, checked out their products, their websites and knew right away what I was going to work on. As I turn the page, I see at the top with huge fucking capital letters "JAVA OOP test".
I take a minute and look back at them, like wtf is happening. Turns out that they are looking for a java dev. They picked me for the role because I had literally 1 fucking sentence in my CV and where I have said that I studied java in one semester of uni. FYI my entire portfolio, cv and cover letter are focused on JS, html, css both for client and server side.
As the fucking HR guy stood there and asked me "is there something wrong", I felt broken inside. For the first time in my fucking life I felt like I was done and couldn't continue anymore. I felt like this is some bitch-slap from karma about something but I still can't figure out what. I just walked out of there being unable to realize what happened.
I just feel like I should end my developer career before it has even started, just go do business analysis or something. Why the fuck would someone put a job description entirely talking about Angular, Less/SASS, bootstrap and jQuery and then say that is a Java dev OOP role. Who the fuck allows those people to take good salaries yet still deliver the up most shittiest quality service.
Before the interview, I checked out their websites which are simply horrendous with the comparability of a fucking baked potato. Idk really what to do, I don't mean to sound as a whiny little b.... but as I walked out of their office, I felt broken inside. Sorry for the long rant.8 -
Coffee at 7 am.
Coffee at 1 pm.
Coffee at 7:30 pm.
Sleep at midnight.
Wake up at 6:30.
Repeat.
Do you have a better procedure for maximising performance?
I have a deadline next Monday...14 -
English teacher :prepare a recipe of your favorite meal
Me :yeah sure
Title :how to prepare md5 seasoned with salt.
Procedure :
$salt="*+3256_$@";
$userpass="12345aeiou";
$md5hash=md5($userpass.$salt);
echo $md5hash;3 -
I suddenly realized all the technical debt shit I told my boss would happen years ago given the way things were done/heading then... Just occurred pretty much all at once last week in the form of critical production issues...
The teams like:
-we need real time server process monitoring
-structured logging for apps
-containerization so one app didn't affect others
Me thinking: yes.... I told you so like 3/4 years ago when I first joined the team and kept repeating so much I got tired of saying at every annual review...
This is exactly what happens when you let technical debt grow and have no free time for developers to look into and fix then while they were small and not critical production processes... Or properly document and peer review them... (Got a shit pile of projects that no one knows how to use or even exists because the devs left the team) and they'll have a lot more when I finally leave... Hopefully this year.... If I can find another role and not need another medical procedure... (Doubtful)3 -
Biggest challenge I overcame as dev? One of many.
Avoiding a life sentence when the 'powers that be' targeted one of my libraries for the root cause of system performance issues and I didn't correct that accusation with a flame thrower.
What the accusation? What I named the library. Yep. The *name* was causing every single problem in the system.
Panorama (very, very expensive APM system at the time) identified my library in it's analysis, the calls to/from SQLServer was the bottleneck
We had one of Panorama's engineers on-site and he asked what (not the actual name) MyLibrary was and (I'll preface I did not know or involved in any of the so-called 'research') a crack team of developers+managers researched the system thoroughly and found MyLibrary was used in just about every project. I wrote the .Net 1.1 MyLibrary as a mini-ORM to simplify the execution of database code (stored procs, etc) and gracefully handle+log database exceptions (auto-logged details such as the target db, stored procedure name, parameter values, etc, everything you'd need to troubleshoot database errors). This was before Dapper and the other fancy tools used by kids these days.
By the time the news got to me, there was a team cobbled together who's only focus was to remove any/every trace of MyLibrary from the code base. Using Waterfall, they calculated it would take at least a year to remove+replace MyLibrary with the equivalent ADO.Net plumbing.
In a department wide meeting:
DeptMgr: "This day forward, no one is to use MyLibrary to access the database! It's slow, unprofessionally named, and the root cause of all the database issues."
Me: "What about MyLibrary is slow? It's excecuting standard the ADO.Net code. Only extra bit of code is the exception handling to capture the details when the exception is logged."
DeptMgr: "We've spent the last 6 weeks with the Panorama engineer and he's identified MyLibrary as the cause. Company has spent over $100,000 on this software and we have to make fact based decisions. Look at this slide ... "
<DeptMgr shows a histogram of the stacktrace, showing MyLibrary as the slowest>
Me: "You do realize that the execution time is the database call itself, not the code. In that example, the invoice call, it's the stored procedure that taking 5 seconds, not MyLibrary."
<at this point, DeptMgr is getting red-face mad>
AreaMgr: "Yes...yes...but if we stopped using MyLibrary, removing the unnecessary layers, will make the code run faster."
<typical headknodd-ers knod their heads in agreement>
Dev01: "The loading of MyLibrary takes CPU cycles away from code that supports our customers. Every CPU cycle counts."
<headknod-ding continues>
Me: "I'm really confused. Maybe I'm looking at the data wrong. On the slide where you highlighted all the bottlenecks, the histogram shows the latency is the database, I mean...it's right there, in red. Am I looking at it wrong?"
<this was meeting with 20+ other devs, mgrs, a VP, the Panorama engineer>
DeptMgr: "Yes you are! I know MyLibrary is your baby. You need to check your ego at the door and face the facts. Your MyLibrary is a failed experiment and needs to be exterminated from this system!"
Fast forward 9 months, maybe 50% of the projects updated, come across the documentation left from the Panorama. Even after the removal of MyLibrary, there was zero increases in performance. The engineer recommended DBAs start optimizing their indexes and other N+1 problems discovered. I decide to ask the developer who lead the re-write.
Me: "I see that removing MyLibrary did nothing to improve performance."
Dev: "Yes, DeptMgr was pissed. He was ready to throw the Panorama engineer out a window when he said the problems were in the database all along. Didn't you say that?"
Me: "Um, so is this re-write project dead?"
Dev: "No. Removing MyLibrary introduced all kinds of bugs. All the boilerplate ADO.Net code caused a lot of unhandled exceptions, then we had to go back and write exception handling code."
Me: "What a failure. What dipshit would think writing more code leads to less bugs?"
Dev: "I know, I know. We're so far behind schedule. We had to come up with something. I ended up writing a library to make replacing MyLibrary easier. I called it KnightRider. Like the TV show. Everyone is excited to speed up their code with KnightRider. Same method names, same exception handling. All we have to do is replace MyLibrary with KnightRider and we're done."
Me: "Won't the bottlenecks then point to KnightRider?"
Dev: "Meh, not my problem. Panorama meets primarily with the DBAs and the networking team now. I doubt we ever use Panorama to look at our C# code."
Needless to say, I was (still) pissed that they had used MyLibrary as dirty word and a scapegoat for months when they *knew* where the problems were. Pissed enough for a flamethrower? Maybe.5 -
When you spend a few days getting a monolithic LAMP app working in Docker so we don’t have to follow a 12 page install procedure... only to have your senior say “that’s not the way we do things around here”7
-
Today I come across something interresting in SQL Server.
I was optimizing a report query and in the SSMS windows runned in 10 seconds for 3000 rows.
Put it to a stored procedure took me 5 minutes for getting 100 rows.
I was like WTF?
After some research I found out that the problem was that I was using the Stored Procedure parameters in the query.
Created local variables for the parameters and poof... 10 seconds again.
So if you are creating Stored Procedures in SQL Server DO NOT USE THE PARAMETERS FROM THE PROCEDURE. CREATE LOCAL VARIABLES.5 -
Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?3 -
Employee: we have 15 years of Stored Procedures
Boss: just because we been doing it for 15 years doesn’t mean we should continue.
Boss coming in clutch.3 -
OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
This happened when I got my first IT support job. Naturally as a 1st line support you get to do the fun and not at all tedious thing of resetting passwords.
So I take a ticket from one of our HR people where they say that 3 new employees can't access a certain system.
Without going into too much detail here I reset the passwords according to our procedures and be done with it.
But at the end of the day it turns out that one of those 3 new employees was the new CEO, and he was known to be not the most pleasant of people to work with.
So ofc there was a chain of emails with the words "How can someone not know who I am" in there somewhere.
Had a nice stressful weekend wondering if I'll still have a job after Monday and we had a whole new password reset procedure created because of that.2 -
I might have told this in other rants, but this thing (requested from the client) is one of the worst thing I've ever done.
So we were developing a website to find the stores of a certain brand across the country, specifically: Italy.
In Italy, a lot of towns have accents and apostrophes in their name.
Client managers wanted ALL DATA to be capitalized, including letters with accents, but the client management was using Windows and Windows doesn't simply let you enter capital letters with accents from the keyboard, so the client requested to make a procedure to turn every apostrophe into an accent, therefore a town named like "CA' DEL BOSCO" would be "CÀ DEL BOSCO" (which is wrong) as they just couldn't bother copy-pasting from Word.
An important thing to notice is that most Italian towns with apostrophes don't have accents and most towns with accents don't have apostrophes, and that specific routine couldn't figure out what to exactly, so we ended up having all the stuff messed up.
The feature was a total SHIT, but the client was extremely happy with it, so we didn't even bother arguing with that.4 -
Google has a password reset procedure so intense, that even if I can sign into my recovery account and give them the code from there, use 2 factor auth and give them the code from there, tell them my recovery phone(s) number(s), give them my mother's father's mother's late cousin twice removed daughter's maiden name, and whatever other security measures were set in place, I can't get a fucking password reset. Thanks Google, fuck you.3
-
Oh fucking Huawei.
Fuck you.
Inventory:
- Honor 6x (BLN-L22C675)
- Has EMUI4.1 Marshmallow
- Cousin brother 'A' (has bricking XP!)
- Uncle 'K'
- Has Mac with Windows VM
Goal:
- Stock as LineageOS / AOSP
Procedure (fucking seriously):
- Find XDA link to root H6X
- Go to Huawei page and fill out form
- Receive and use bootloader code
- Find latest TWRP
- Flash latest TWRP
- TWRP not working? Bootloops
- XDA search "H6X boot to recovery"
- Find and try modded TWRP
- TWRP fails, no bootloop
- Find & flash TWRP 3.1.0
- Yay! TWRP works
- Find and download LineageOS and SuperSU
- Flash via TWRP
- Yay! Success.
- Attempt boot
- Boot fails. No idea why
- Go back to TWRP
- TWRP gives shitload of errors
"cannot mount /data, storage etc."
- Feel fucked up
- Notice that userdata partition exists,
but FSTAB doesn't take
- Remembers SuperSU modded boot
image and FSTABS!
- Fuck SuperSU
- Attempt to mod boot image
- Doesn't work (modded successfully
but no change)
- Discover Huawei DLOAD
Installer for "UPDATE.APP" OTAs
Note: Each full OTA is 2+ GB zipped
- Find, download, fail on 4+ OTAs
- Discover "UPDATE.APP Extractor"
Runs on Windows
Note: UPDATE.APP custom format
Different per H6X model
- Uses 'K''s VM to test
- My H6X model does not have
a predefined format
- Process to get format requires
TWRP, which is not working
- FAIL HERE
- Discover "Firmware Finder"
Windows app to find Huawei
firmwares
- Tries 'K''s VM
- Fails with 1 OTA
- Downloads another firmware ZIP
- Unzips and tries to use OTA
- Works?!
- Boots successfully?!
- Seems to have EMUI 5.0 Nougat
- Downloads, flashes TWRP
- TWRP not working AGAIN?
- Go back to XDA page
- Find that TWRP on EMUI 5 - NO
- Find rollbacks for EMUI5 -> EMUI4
- Test, fail 2-4 times (Massive OTAs)
- DLOAD accepts this one?!!!
- I HAVE ORIG AGAIN!!!
- Re-unlock and reflash TWRP
- Realise that ROMs aren't working on
EMUI 4.1; Find TWRPs for EMUI5
- Find and fail with 2-3 OTAs
Note: Had removed old OTAs for
space on Chromebook (32GB)
- In anger, flash one with TWRP
instead of DLOAD (which checks
compatability)
- Works! Same wasn't working with
DLOAD
- Find and flash a custom TWRP
as old one still exists (not wiped in
flash)
- Try flashing LineageOS
- LineageOS stuck in boot
- Try flashing AOSP
- Same
- Try flashing Resurruction Remix
- Same
- Realise that need stock EMUI5
vendor
- Realise that the firmware I installed
wasn't for my device so not working
- FUCK NO MORE LARGE DLs
- Try another custom TWRP
- Begin getting '/cust mounting' errs
- Try reflashing EMUI5 with TWRP
- Doesn't work
- Try DLOADing EMUI5
- Like before, incompatability
- DLOAD EMUI4
- Reunlock and reflash TWRP
- WRITE THIS AS A BREAK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH7 -
nearly cried.
I had been working on this file for the last 4 or so hours.
And accidentally deleted it with NerdTree (mdy).
300 loc. poof.
scoured internet for recovery procedure.
and.......
... to no avail. just about to give up.
here comes the climax: .....
It was stillllll...... in the NEOVIM. BUFFER.
vim got my back.
praise you vim lord.
#vim_pope3 -
How’s this for a horror story? Adding a new feature to a 6,000 line and 100% undocumented stored procedure in a 20+ year old Oracle database.2
-
Not an enemy yet, but I’ve just debated with a senior dev that said stored procedure is faster, safer, and works better than entity framework
I agree with faster (only a bit) but the rest is just bs23 -
FUUUU!!!!!! 3h of colleagues work gone in sconds.. & yes, actually it is all my fault, even though I was not aware of being a totall ass at that time..
What happened?! You know the ctrl+s shortcut?! Yes? Weeeell...doesn't go well with oracle sql developer and packages.. o.O
I was totally unavare that I was typing in ctrl+s ctrl+s all the time. I know I do that with c# code.. Anyhow, when I first moved to sql developer from other tool I noticed that compile thingy.. Oooops, ok, let's remove that shortcut to not stab yourself absentmindenly and overwrite other peoples work.. OK that's taken care of, shortcuts removed and I go back to work..
It's been almost 6 months since the move & first incident and today I guess I did the same.. ctrl+s.. But this time I wasn't so lucky.
Coworker pissed off, that is not my procedure. When did you compile?! Someone overwrote my code..
Wasn't me.. Then I started thinking about ctrl+s.. OMFG!! I check this on another package, it compiled. O.o I almost died. I check the shortcuts. They are back! And even after removing them the package still compiled.. FML!! 😭😭😭😭
I removed them again & closed the tool. Reopended.. BACK!! We're back to fuck your life up!! Fuuuuuuu!!
Now I worry wtf else I fucked up without notice.. o.O hopefully not much.. I hope.. O.O boss will kill me...
BTW anyone knows how to really get rid of this feature?! Cuz for me its a bug (since I am buggy and press ctrl+s all the time.. )6 -
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TRANSLATE PULL REQUEST TO GERMAN?
According to one of my teachers I have to translate this in a coding guideline otherwise other devs might not be able to follow the procedure...
I asked him how he would translate it and he could not give me a proper answer... describe it he said...
How the fuck does it improve my guidelines if I describe PR!!!
And if your not capable of doing it better how should I know I have to do it!
Sorry I looked at an old exam and got triggered when I saw the correction21 -
Things that only happen on Windows:
1. Windows updates itself with a security-update
2. On next reboot, upgrade procedure fails and reverts changes
3. Repeat
You cannot prevent the update, you cannot shutdown or reboot without the update and it takes around 30 minutes to install and revert every time during boot.
There is a saying; "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." I therefore officially proclaim insanity of my Windows installation.5 -
Six or seven years ago, I worked for a large financial organization as part of a very large effort to convert server assets from physical to virtual. The consultants on site were in bed with the vendor of a terrible piece of software designed for that purpose. After a couple weeks on the job I'd had it, and sat down in between sessions of "validating" the conversion procedure, and started writing my own software for converting Linux servers. After a couple days it was working great, and they wound up adopting my software as the default method for Linux conversions.
Years later, I'm interviewing for my current job and one of the interviewers tells me he used my converter some time later and loved it. Pretty sure it's what swung the interview for me. -
from the same guy that altered a table without warning: deleted a stored procedure without telling anyone10
-
Came across a gem today...part of a stored procedure that sits under our erp software. This explains a lot
7 -
Today was a manic-depressive kind of day. Spent the morning helping some developers with getting their code to run a stored procedure to drop old partitions, but it wasn't working on their end. It was a fairly simple proc. But working with partitions is a little like working with an array. I figured out that they were passing the wrong timestamp, and needed to add +1 to delete the right partition. Got that sorted out, and things were good. Lunch time.
After lunch I did some busy work, and then the PO comes up at about 2PM and says he's assigned some requests to me. The first was just attaching some scripts. Easy. The second, the user wants a couple of schemas exported ... at 6PM. I've been in the office since 6:45AM.
While I'm setting up some commands to run for the data export, a BA walks up and asks if I'm filling in for another DBA who is out for a few weeks. Yep. There's a change request that hasn't been assigned, and he normally does the work. I ask when it's due. Well, the pre-implementation was supposed to be done in the morning, but it wasn't, and we're in the implementation window ... half way through. I bring up the change task, and look at. Create new schema and users. That's all it says. The BA laughs. I tell I need more to go on. 10 minutes later he sends an email with the information. There's only two hours left in the window, and I can only use half of it, because the production guys have to their stuff, and we're in their window. Now I'm irritated, because I'm new to Oracle, and it's an unforgiving mistress. Fortunately, another DBA says he'll do it, so that we can get it done in time. But can't work it either, because Dev DBAs don't have access to QA, and the process required access for this task. Gets shelved until the access issue is resolved. It's now after 4:15PM. I'm going to in traffic with that 6PM deadline.
I manage to get home and to the computer by 5:45PM. Log in. Start VPN. Box pops on screen. Java needs to update. I chose skip update. Box pops up again. It won't let me log in until Java is current. Passed.
I finally get logged in, and it's 6:10PM. I'm late getting the job started. I pull up Putty and log into the first box, and paste my pre-prepared command in the command line and hit error. Command not found. I'm tired, so it's a moment to sink in. I don't have time for this.
I log into DBArtisan and pull up the first data base, use the wizard to set the job, and off it goes. Yay. Bring up the second database, and have enter the connect info. Host not found. Wut? Examine host name. Yep, it's correct. Try a different method. Host not found. Go back to Putty. Log in. Past string. Launch. Command not found. Now my brain is quitting on me. Why now? It's after 6:30PM. Fiddle with some settings, reset $Oracle home. Try again. Yay. It works. I'm done. It's after 7PM.
There is nothing like technology to snatch the euphoria of a success away from you. It's a love-hate thing, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'm done. Good night.3 -
Not the worst, but probably the only one I can sort of explain & not get into trouble for NDA breach..
Umm.. here it goes.. wrong id returned from db procedure, tried to do something on db with that id and got exception that the id doesn't exist. Instead of checking why the procedure returns nonexistent id, he just wrapped everything in try catch without any logs.. & of course, didn't tell anyone about this.. o.0
I know, I know, code review could have prevented this, but holy fuck..
Guy's cv had more experience than I have now, so at the time, I didn't think I'd have to check every line of code he wrote, especially not for shit like this.3 -
Our new IT support college (I've been the support for like almost 2 years into the company and then I moved onto another project) asked me about how to configure a printer over LAN. I explained him the whole procedure and after he asked me what does the gateway IP means, I explained him that it's a router, switch or another device that know how to forward packets on to other networks and gave him an example like 192.168.100.1 and told him that usually is the router's/switch IP address and is the same IP address as the static IP of the printer but with .1 at the end instead of the last number set. After that he asked me: "Like this? 192.168.100.25.1?"3
-
OBS is advertised as the expert's screen recording and streaming tool, every list on the internet makes it out to be some incredibly difficult program not recommended for newbies.
It's also the only linux screen recorder that works out of the box on Pipewire, records both microphone and system sounds and all configuration was to
1. select recording as my main use case in the setup wizard which is a very verbose English popup, then accept all defaults
2. add a new source, following the instructions written in the box which are also the only instructions on screen after application launch
3. set the output directory (optional) by going to File > Settings > Output > Recording Path, all of which were the first items I guessed. If I had not done this, it would've written everything to my home folder which is a bit dumb but not confusing at all
4. click Start Recording
5. click Stop Recording when done
Some newbie-oriented screen recorders have a more complicated setup procedure than this super advanced experts' tool don't touch without safety gloves and a degree in video engineering.11 -
Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)1 -
I tought I'll buy a new laptop last week.
Went to the mediamarkt. I've choosen one with hdd. That was cheaper and I have a nice ssd at home, so I tought I'm gonna change that so I've asked the salesman about the hdd. I mean if I take it out and replace it with an ssd, it'll invalidate my warranty? Said yes. But they gladly change it to me if I bring my ssd in for a dirt-cheap €79. I said you are defenetly lost your mind. It takes 5 screws and around 5 minutes.
Anyway. I've choose an another one with ssd. But there was a sticker on it too, means it is prepared to use out of the box. It means as always, the windows is full with advertises, demos and annoying settings. And I don't use windows anyway. Ohh and it costs €29. I wanted one without this thing. Said ok, he'll check it. Comes back and said these modells are all prepared with this. I've asked him to show me a product which is 'clean'. He replied "actually all our laptops came prepared".
So I went mad and left them. This whole procedure takes more than an hour with one lesson: never go there again to buy a computer.
But at the end I've found a solution. Configurable laptops with 2 year warranty even if you upgrade it. Thats what I'll buy soon. I've had enough of big brands bullshits about unnecessary features and other bullshit. I'll buy what I need, not more, not less.
I'll write down the brand if anyone interested.26 -
Why would someone in their right mind change a piece of code that was working fine (and it wasn't a complete mumbo jumbo in styling, logic, transparency, was in line with how the project was coded etc..) to use dapper just to call a stored procedure?! Dafaq is wrong with people!?
Or is it just me & I'm overreactig again?!
I hate when people add more stuff to projects that are already overbloated with fw/techologies to do something so trivial.. like adding 6827646 js fw so you can use one function in each (or are simply still there because they didn't know how to use it and left it in project) which could easily be achieved with our own fw we use...wtf?! O.o
// me cringing, cussing etc..4 -
about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
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Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6 -
IHateForALiving: gentlemen, my unit tests are randomly falling. Sometimes the login procedure just fails for no apparent reason, did any of you encounter this problem?
The very fucking smart colleague®: DID YOU REMEMBER TO PLACE YOUR AUTHORIZATION HEADER
Of course
The authorization header.
To fucking log in.
Because you have to be logged in before you can log in.
That's the standard, of course.2 -
Me: *pulls down the quick settings drawer and taps Bluetooth*
phone: *forgets everything about having multiple CPU cores and threads - the process responsible for all user input and drawing the ui grinds to a halt*
me: *sighs* oh, fuck, not this shit again *sets phone down*
*several minutes pass*
*watchdog decides that the UI is stuck and kills it, forcing the phone to soft-reboot*
phone: *boots up after a minute of loading*
me: *checks if Bluetooth is on*
*Bluetooth still off*
me: *tries to tap Bluetooth again*
*the procedure repeats*11 -
i asked my senior "why we need a develop branch" and his reply was "-_-" , literally an emoji.
Ok ,well this might be a stupid question, but i have been in this organisation for 6 months and all this time these guys have not been able to make a proper release. either they miss commits while cherry picking, or they end up reverting stuff, or they are delaying the releases due to QA disapprovals, backend issues or management issues.
i proposed a simpler vcs :
1. `uat` is the source of truth
2. for every release we create a temporary branch `release-x.y.z` from `uat`
3. then we develop every feature in a branch cut from `uat` as `feat-abc`, code in it , and merge it back to `release-x.y.z`
4. finally we merge `release-x.y.z` into `uat`
where is develop branch supposed to be cut?
which branch is supposed to be cut from develop?
which branch is supposed to merge into develop?
where is develop supposed to be merged?
no one has answers to these fucking questions. but still they wanna confuse the whole team of 15+ android and ios devs about how to use which procedure
fml :/10 -
Wrote a SQL stored procedure today to do a complicated query. Decided to make it so that I could pass multiple records into the stored procedure in comma separated format, but the damned thing would only pull the first record. The query worked fine outside the procedure but it wouldn't pull anything more than the first record. After deleting and recreating and spending 30 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong I realized I changed the length of the wrong parameter. Set the correct one to varchar max and it was all good. 30 minutes of my life I will never get back.🐘💨1
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Best way to avoid procrastination : We tend to avoid commitments or to do large tasks as even visualizing them seems tiring and the longer it takes, the vulnerable we are to distractions
So I use this simple trick
I break my task into numerous sub tasks. For example if I need to finish a feature before day end, I would first list down all the cases I can think of in order and write them down using actual pen and paper.
I then start implementing them step by step.
I mark them checked once done.
It gives me a sense of achievement as I see those checks besides the sub tasks and I can also take breaks between steps.
So all it takes is just first five minutes of planning.
I had to do the above procedure, for this post as well.
Hope it helps fellow developers
:) -
Xiaomi's bootloader unlock procedure is So. Fucking. Tedious. I have no words... oh wait, I do. HIDING THE PERMISSION BEHIND A HUNDRED DEVICE-SIDE SWITCHES WON'T MAKE IT ANY SAFER, IT WILL ONLY MAKE MODDERS ANGRY. Why do you need a third switch besides OEM unlock and USB debugging anyway? If I toggled OEM unlock it's obvious what I'm trying to do and every other option should change to comply with that intent. Don't roll your own Android if you know fuckall about UX.9
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Since my first post was a success, here's another shameless hack-- in this case, ripping a "closed" database I don't usually have access to and making a copy in MySQL for productivity purposes. That was at a former job as an IT guy at a hardware store, think Lowes/Rona.
We had an old SCO Unix server hosting Informix SQL (curious, anyone here touched iSQL?), which has terminal only forms for the users to handle data, and has keybindings that are strangely vi based (ESC does commit changes. Mindfsck for the users!). To add new price changes to our products, this results to a lengthy procedure inside a terminal form (with ascii borders!) with a few required fields, which makes this rather long. Sadly, only I and a colleague had access to price changes.
Introducing a manager who asks a price change for a brand- not a single product, but the whole product line of a brand we sell. Oh and, those price changes ends later after the weekend (twice the work, back at regular price!)
The usual process is that they send me a price change request Excel document with all the item codes along with the new prices. However, being non technical, those managers write EVERYTHING at hand, cell by cell (code, product name, cost, new price, etc), sometimes just copy pasted from a terminal window
So when the manager asked me to change all those prices, I thought "That's the last time I manually enter all of this sh!t- and so does he". Since I already have a MySQL copy of the items & actual (live) price tables, I wrote a PHP backend to provide a basic API to be consumed to a now VBA enhanced Excel sheet.
This VBA Excel sheet had additional options like calculating a new price based on user provided choices ("Lower price by x $ or x %, but stay above cost by x $ or x %"), so the user could simply write back to back every item codes and the VBA Excel sheet will fetch & display automatically all relevant infos, and calculate a new price if it's a 20% price cut for example.
So when the managers started using that VBA sheet, I had also hidden a button which simply generate all SQL inserts for the prices written in the form, including a "back to regular price" if the user specified an end date, etc.
No more manual form entry for me, no more keyboard pecking for the managers with new prices calculated for them. It was a win/win :)1 -
What are the chances of this? Right when I finally got the fucking stored procedure to work, and were to test it...
7 -
Bad: Delete your production database
Good: Have a backup
Bad: Can't reimport it because your backup procedure uses scheme that are no longer supported for import by your cloud provider
Good: Backup are plaintext and somehow easy to parse
Bad: Spending the rest of the day writing scripts to reinsert everything.
End of the story: everything is up and running, 8hours of efforts1 -
I hate those questions like "where do you see yourself on five years?" Or "tell me a time when you had to [insert leadership activity here]" where the obvious answers are something inane and managerial.
I also hate those questions that come up a lot when I say I know SQL where they ask me to do some inane, unnatural SQL thing in a statement rather than a procedure or a function.
Also see these: https://devrant.io/rants/136331/...
https://devrant.io/rants/132198/... -
Riddle:
Alice and bob want to communicate a secret message, lets say it is an integer.
We will call this msg0.
You are Chuck, an interloper trying to spy on them and decode the message.
For keys, alice chooses a random integer w, another for x, and another for y. she also calculates a fourth variable, x+y = z
Bob follows the same procedure.
Suppose the numbers are too large to bruteforce.
Their exchange looks like this.
At step 1, alice calculates the following:
msg1 = alice.z+alice.w+msg0
she sends this message over the internet to bob.
the value of msg1 is 20838
then for our second step of the process, bob calculates msg2 = bob.z+bob.w+msg1
msg2 equals 32521
he then sends msg2 to alice, and again, you intercept and observe.
at step three, alice recieves bob's message, and calculates the following: msg3 = msg2-(alice.x+alice.w+msg0)
msg3 equals 19249. Alice sends this to bob.
bob calculates msg4 = msg3-(bob.x+bob.w)
msg4 equals 11000.
he sends msg4 to alice
at this stage, alice calculates ms5.
msg5 = (msg4-(alice.y)+msg0.
alice sends this to bob.
bob recieves this final message and calculates
the sixth and final message, which is the original hidden msg0 alice wanted to send:
msg6 = msg5-bob.y
What is the secret message?
I'll give anyone who solves it without bruteforcing, a free cookie.16 -
Trying to switch my job. Applied for a well known company. Gave an interview today. I don't fucking get the obsession of these developer recruiters so fixated on data structures and algorithms. I know it's a massive part of computer science but guess there is no fucking room left to innovate in there. There are legitimate researcher teams working for implementation of these barebones inside system foundations. No general software developer gives a fuck about this piece of shit discipline of study. You wanna know why they propagate this as the panacea to test people because it's fucking easy. Give a project to somebody as interview procedure, it'll take time to bring out an interesting problem and an interesting solution to that. Sorry to say but all these data structure enthusiasts are nothing better than board game enthusiasts.
Also why can't you refer existing solutions to create your solution. I've seen some good problems which actually require you to think. But again those are heavy and can't be tested so you're left with reversing a fucking linked list with O(1) auxillary space. Fuck me ig.
Moreover, what the fuck is wrong with the moral policing internet crowd. Its so sad. I've hardly seen anybody rant about this piece of shit system put in place to push the absolute dead-end nutcases up the ladder. Every other search for it returns a Quora link with some Indian guy complaining about his interviews and in the comments you have the same scholars sitting in their data structure throne imparting knowledge about how data structure holds the fabric of reality together.
I don't hate data structures and algorithms as a subject. It is cool and quite extensive but once you try to make that as a metric of all the knowledge in the world, you've lost my drift. Maybe I'm just angry with the state of things. Maybe I'm just angry with token Quora crowd.3 -
i hate myself for having a better idea to write a procedure or a function after getting it done. *comments the first set of code, just to be sure.*1
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Weird!! Just from the dentist's and all through the procedure all I could think of is why my python code is throwing a typeError. I mean I should have been sharting myself.1
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A dev found a bug I created where I set a SQL parameter name to @OrderID instead of the expected @Order. The standard is @OrderID, there is one stored proc where it's @Order.
Oops...I didn't catch it because the integration test didn't cover that area of the code. My mistake...I should have checked...I take complete responsibility for the screw up.
He let me know by email..
"When refactoring, from now on check the stored procedure parameters, there are a few that don't follow the standard."
I was like "from now on..."? ...wow....bold comment from someone responsible for code that doesn't check for nulls, doesn't log errors, and relies on exceptions for flow control. You wouldn't even have known about the error if I didn't modify your code to log the error (the try..except returned false)
I really wanted to reply ...
"Fixed. From now on, when you come across those easily found bugs, go head and fix it, write a test, and move on. Don't send a condescending email to me, my boss, your boss, all the DBAs, and the entire fracking order processing team. Thanks."
But..I thanked him for finding and letting me know...we're a team..blah blah blah..
Frack..people suck.1 -
During one of our 'pop-up' meetings last week.
Ralph: "The test code the developers are checking in is a mess. They don't know what they are doing."
ex.
var foo = SomeLibrary.GetFoo();
Assert.IsNotNull(foo);
Fred: "Ha ha..someone should talk to HR about our hiring practices. These people are literally driving the company backwards."
Me: "I think unit testing is complete waste of time."
- You could almost see the truck hit the wall and splatter watermelon everwhere..took Ralph and Fred a couple of seconds to respond
Fred: "Uh..unit testing is industry best practice. There is scientific evidence that prove testing reduces bugs and increases code quality"
Ralph: "Over 90% of our deployments are rolled back because of bugs. Unit testing will eliminate that."
Me: "Sorry, I disagree."
- Stepping on kittens wouldn't have gotten a worse look from Fred and Ralph
Fred: 'Pretty sure if you ask any professional developer, they'll tell you unit testing and code coverage reduces bugs.'
Me: "I'm not asking anyone else, I'm asking you. Find one failed deployment, just one, over the past 6 months that unit testing or code coverage would have prevented."
- good 3 seconds of awkward silence.
Ralph: "Well, those rollbacks are all mostly due to server mis-configurations. That's not a fair comparison."
Me: "I'm using your words. Unit tests reduces bugs and lack of good tests is the direct reason why we have so many failed deployments"
Boss: "Yea, Ralph...you and Fred kinda said that."
Fred: "No...we need to write good tests. Not this mess."
Me: "Like I said, show me one test you've written that would have prevented a rollback. Just one."
Ralph: "So, what? We do nothing?"
Me: "No, we have to stop worshiping this made up 80% code coverage idol. If not, developers are going to keep writing useless test code just to meet some percent. If we wrote device drivers or frameworks for other developers maybe, but we write CRUD apps. We execute a stored procedure or call a service. This 80% rule doesn't fit for code we write."
Fred: "If the developers took their head out of their ass.."
Me: "Hey!..uh..no, they are doing exactly what they are being told. Meet the 80% requirement, even if doesn't make sense."
Ralph: "Nobody told them to write *that* code."
Boss: "My gosh, what have you and Fred been complaining about for the past hour?"
- Ralph looks at his monitor and brilliantly changes the subject
Ralph: "Oh my f-king god...Trump said something stupid again ..."
At that point I put my headphones on went back to what I was doing. I'm pretty sure Fred and Ralph spent the rest of the day messaging back-n-forth, making fun of me or some random code I wrote 3 years ago (lots of typing and giggling). How can highly educated grown men (one has a masters in CS) get so petty and insecure?7 -
Same procedure as last year? Same procedure as every year for the last truly static website holdouts: change the year in the template, re-compile, upload.2
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Today we reached 30 "dev-ghosting" episodes since the beginning of the year.
What is "dev-ghosting"?
It's every time a developer decides to completely disappear from a recruitment procedure instead of just texting "Hey, I am no longer interested in your offer".
You can call them as many times as you want, even if they were supposed to be at your office 2 hours ago for negotiating the salary after dozens of "I'd love to join your company as soon as possible": they are gone.
Forever.
1 -
Just reminiscing about the time I needed to recover my ldap password and the procedure consisted of an asthmatic tech support dude showing it to me in a giant spreadsheet.
-
Architect: "Inline sql is just as performant as a stored procedure and since it is in code its safer and easier to maintain."
Me, inside my head: "I bet I could do the pencil trick on him from 'The Dark Knight' and it wouldn't hurt him as much as suck the world into the small hole in the front of his head since it is clearly a vacuum which was meant to destroy the earth. This is an obvious plant by the lizard people as a test to see if we could identify them. Killing him would be a..."
Architect: "I mean isn't it still a best practice."
Me, out loud and deadpan: "No, that is wrong and it was never a best practice. "
Me, inside my head: "Crisis averted."4 -
Weeks ago, a change went into production. For some reason, we can't implement our own changes or create new databases in production, we have to have a whole different department do it. This would be great except for one thing:
THEY CAN'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES. I've had to tell them how to run scripts I wrote. I've had to tell them how to fix problems that arise.
Back to that script ran three weeks ago or so. It didn't add permissions to allow me, the system and application developer to see the stored procedure, much less run it. Application can't run it. Thankfully the application works without it.
Fast forward to tonight. My change that I'm attempting to implement is the creation of the stored procedure, because nothing could see it, I assumed it didn't exist... reasonable, right? Database folks tells me it exists. They then tell me they can't give me nor the application permissions because it doesn't ask for it in the change plan.
Excuse me.... WHAT FUCKING WORLD DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO CREATE SOMETHING AND HIDE IT FROM THE CREATOR LET ALONE THE APPLICATION SO IT CAN'T USE IT?! FUCKING THINK. WHY WOULD I WASTE MY FUCKING TIME TO TALK TO YOU OFFSHORE PIECES OF SHIT AT 10PM WHEN I'D RATHER PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
I'm so fucking done with enterprises. Someone with reasonable job security at a startup, please hire me. You will probably pay me more fucking money than this company does anyway.
Now on to my second change of the night. Thankfully I don't have to rely on anyone outside of me... so I won't be wasting my fucking time. -
Well... I can think of several bugs that I found on a previous project, but one of the worst (if not the worst, because the damage scope) it's one bug that only appears for a couple of days at the end of every month.
What happens is the following: this bug occurs in a submodule designed (heh) to control the monthly production according the client requirements (client says "I want 1000 thoot picks", that submodule calculates the daily production requirements in order to full fill the order).
Ideally, that programming need to be done once a week (for the current month), because the quantities are updated by client on the same schedule, and one of the edge cases is that when the current date is >= 16th of the month, the user can start programming the production of the following month.
So, according to this specific case, there's an unidentified, elusive, and nasty bug that only shows up on the two last days of every month, when it doesn't allow to modify/create anything for the following month. I mean, normally, whenever you try to edit/create new data, the application shows either an estimated of the quantities to produce, or the previous saved data. But on those specific days it doesn't show any information at all, disregarding of there's something saved or not.
The worst thing is that such process involves both a very overcomplicated stored procedure, and an overcomplicated functionality on the client side (did I mentioned that it dynamically generates a pseudo-spreadsheet with the procedure dataset? Cell by cell), that absolutely no one really fully understands, and the dude that made those artifacts is no longer available (and by now, I'm not so sure that he even remember what he done there).
One of the worst thing is that at this point, it's easier to handle with that error rather to redesign all of that (not because technical limitations, but for bureaucratic and management issues).
The another worst thing (the most important none) is that this specific bug can create a HUGE mess as it prevents the programming of the production to be done the next day (you know, people tends to procrastinate and start doing things at the very end of the day/week/month)... And considering that the company could lose a huge amount of money by every minute without production, you can guess the damage scope of this single bug.
Anyway, this bug has existed since, I don't know, 2015 (Q4?) and we have tried so many things trying to solve it, but that spaghettis refuse to be understood (specially the stored procedure, as it has dynamically generated queries). During my tenure (that ended last year) I spent a good amount of time (considering what I mentioned on the last rant, about the toxic environment) trying to solve that, just giving up after the first couple of weeks.
Anyway... I'm guessing that this particular bug will survive another 4-ish years, or even outlive the current full development team... But, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ? -
I'm currently between jobs and have a few rants about my previous job (naturally). In retrospect, it's somewhat therapeutic to range about the sheer brainfuckery that has taken place. Enjoy!
First, let me set the scene: legacy B2B web app made with LEMP stack and sencha ext.js 3 + 4 (don't ask) and a lot of madness. Let's call that app "Alpha".
Alpha is a self made CMS build for typical ERP stuff. Yes, a self made CMS: entities are containers, containers have types and fields and values. Like so many legacy PHP apps, it does not have a dedicated FE: the HTML is rendered on the server and then spewed out to the browser.
Easy right? Coding like it's 1999! But there was a twist: Because everything is basically a container, the HTML-templates are saved in the DB. Along with the nessary JS and the CSS. And the translation variables. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Who needs a git history anyways.
For some reason, Alpha was kinda slow.
There was also an editor, that allowed you to modify templates (web, mail, pdf) on the fly in prod. Because templates contain repeating data (header/footer), one template could contain additional templates. Much confusion. You could change templates via migration (slow, boring) or just ctrl-c/ctrl-v that sucker (fast, much excitement).
Did I mention Alpha was slow?
On with the rant: e-mails! How do they work? Noone knows. How to send mails asynchronous in PHP? Witchcraft is the only possible answer to that riddle. Here is your enterprise™ solution:
1. create mail
2. insert mail into DB
3. WAIT UP TO 59 SECONDS FOR A FUCKING CRON TO SEND MAIL
Why? "Because that way, we can resend mails in case the network is down :)"
Same procedure for the SOAP-API (db-queue + cron). You read that right: all requests to various other systems are processed once a minute.
Alpha slow.
Alpha was only one of several systems. Imagine a bunch of monolithic php apps, interconnected via SOAP, REST and GraphQL like a godamn intergalactic orgy. Image having to debug that cluster fuck.
Let's say there is a bad request. These things happen. No biggie. Remember the db-queue? Let's try to send the bad request a second time! And a third time! Still no luck? How odd. Let's create a specific file in a specific directory: a LOCK-file. Now, "the db-queue is on hold and no request gets processed :)"
Golly gee thanks Alpha.
Anyhow, did you know that MySQL has a join limit of 61 tables?
3 -
Huge mistake on a customer billing procedure.
That procedure was generating a file for automatic billing requests from our customer bank to his customers banks.
That procedure was shifting the bank coordinates by one byte right making all payment requests invalid and rejected.
That month the customer got nothing from invoices (more or less 80k euros).
Side note; only one payment was accepted because the guy entering the invoice on the system shifted the bank coordinates by mistake, so the procedure fixed it.
:/ -
Can someone tell me how a mid level developer with a PhD from EU country is unable to work independently, conduct investigation by himself without too much hand-holding?
Is he too allergic to use google search?
Or is it me that have too much expectation? He's been in our team for 3 months, he should be able to search docs/procedure/files by himself now. Is it me that are too workaholic nerdy and he's just a normal person?
🤔
Thankfully he's the nicest person in our team, but I am getting fed up having to answer his questions many times.10 -
Our parents keep reminding us about the time change that happens every half a year. To remember that the clocks need to be adjusted. And we, the children, keep reminding them, that most devices are already connected to the internet and use the time servers for reference. Which surprises our parents every time. 🙃17
-
F*ck JavaFX. I mean, how a GUI framework doesn't have a standart navigation procedure? It is not even possible to create a page by constructor. In many other framework when I wanted to pass a data to a page, I just had to write
"new MyPage(SomeClass someObject)"
but in javafx I have to first create a constructor, link the fxml file to it then show the page.
Actually I am not angry. It is a big mistake to wait a good GUI framework from a company that has a website something like that in 2018.
1 -
Honestly, school is useless for me as of right now. I know I should be well rounded and stuff, but do I honestly need to know the symptoms of cervix cancer while going into a tech career? My eyes have been set on tech for my whole life, ever since I left the womb, and I know that if I do switch careers, it'll be from comp sci to cyber security not from IT to med school...
I feel like I could really be devoting my time towards something better than writing a 5 page essay on a healthy food choice.
Every night I think to myself, "You know what, I'm going to lock myself in a room and write bash scripts all day" but then I wake up in the morning, and remember I have to take a quiz on reproductive systems, learn about the procedure of organ donations for driver's ed, write 2 paragraph definitions of vocab words, and read a book about communism.
The most useful thing I learned last year, was how to efficiently navigate the java API, and that's something you don't even learn, you just encounter it. Schools need to start having more specific specialties and stop enforcing knowledge of pointless topics.
I'm not saying to remove all core classes and stuff, I'm saying why waste space in our brains with something we won't use ever again? I get it, some people don't know what career they're looking for yet so you can't make them choose, but it honestly sucks some serious ass that I can't learn what I want to at school, and as a matter of fact, I can't even learn at home, because they're filling my schedule with pointless work because they feel that they have to fill our time somehow.
Point of this long ass rant is: Why lock yourself in a room and learn about something if it isn't something you want to learn about? The space in our brain is finite enough, why can't it be filled with things we're interested in rather than things that will only be used to get good grades in the future then overwritten with useful knowledge. Same thing with time. We have a very finite amount of time in a day, and now that I think of it, a lifetime. Why spend it on something that doesn't, and never will, make your life enjoyable?3 -
I have a complex about my nose. I was about to bite the fucking bullet and do something about it. Literally just waiting for the procedure room to be ready, when I kept asking myself wtf I was doing. Then looked at my nose again and realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Not when compared to dealing with internal bleeding and pain for weeks, plus a painful procedure.
Even after all these years, all these accomplishments, all this experience, I'm still a dumb fuck.
Now then, I'll go put some of the money I didn't waste to good use. Like videogames, hookers, and blow. Probably just the former.4 -
I thought I'd seen the worst possible code.
Until I saw this stored procedure. It was forming a string of JSON by concatenation of double quotes and queries in between.
No wonder it took upwards of 200 seconds to insert just one record.2 -
User :
i've just done testing the system, based from one of the testing data i inserted, the procedure still isn't correct
Me :
- Desperately looking for whats wrong in the procedure -
User :
Oh, nevermind, the testing data itself is not correct
Also ME :
ASDJAHSGDUqa QY(^E*Q^w^EQV%&ABDYDTA^R6b ^#E%&W QE& !!!!!!!!!!!!! -
I'd been with the company for maybe two weeks, pushed some changes and updates to a client's site on a Friday afternoon as instructed by my boss, checked everything over and it's all fine.
Come Monday morning and this client is seriously miffed, not all of the changes had applied and the site was a mess all weekend. Turns out a bug with the caching plugin meant what we were getting in the office was different to outside.
Meetings were held and a new QA procedure was put in place. -
Something I discovered at work today:
A sub procedure that takes three arguments:
A table name
Column list
Where clause
It concatenates all of those values together and executed the dynamically generated query.
Why??????????5 -
Corporate life blunts your edge, wants you to follow procedure and process. Then out of nowhere they complain that you're like robots, Think outside the box! Innovate!
Pathetic leeches😢3 -
Thursday: Made an appointment with doctor for (painful because no anesthesia) outpatient procedure. Sent message to team slack saying appointment would interrupt part of my day.
Friday: Boss decides to launch website. Launched.
Saturday: Fixed many broken things.
Sunday: Fixed more broken things.
Monday morning: Texted team about fixing more broken things WHILE BEING OPERATED ON!!!!!!!!!
Monday afternoon and evening: STILL WORKING ON MORE BUG FIXES!!!!!!!5 -
Sus!
yesterday I bought a cool domain in namecheap, I was very lucky to find short and good one for my case.
Today (at weekends!!!!) I receive a letter:
>Hello **redacted name**,
>
>We are contacting you from the Namecheap Risk Management Team regarding your '**redacted name account**' account.
>
>Unfortunately, your Namecheap account was flagged by our fraud screening system as requiring verification and was locked.
>
>Please follow the instructions below to get your account verified:
>
>- take a color photo of the credit card used for the payment at **redacted link**
>
>Please make sure all of the edges of the credit card are visible, and that we can clearly see the card holder's name, expiration, and last four digits of the card number. The screenshots or images of the card cannot be accepted for verification. >If the submission does not meet these requirements, we can either request to submit the details again or permanently suspend your account.
>
>- provide a valid phone number and the best time to call you (within normal business hours, US Pacific time).
>
>If we do not hear back from you within 24 hours, we will be forced to cancel your orders.
>
>We apologize for any inconvenience that may result from this process. This extra verification is done for your security and to ensure that orders are legitimate. This industry, unfortunately, has a high rate of fraudulent orders, and this sort of >verification helps us drastically reduce fraud and ensure our customers remain secure. Such documents are used for verification only and are not provided to third parties in any way. Account verification is a one-time procedure, after your account >is verified, you will never face this issue again.
>
>Looking forward to your reply.
>
>---------------
>Dmitriy K.
>Risk Management
> Namecheap, Inc.
what if I did not notice it in 24 hours? It is the weekend for god's sake! People usually rest until monday.
They would what, cancel order and scalpel it to super high price?!
I have some doubts if the request is trully having anti fraudulent origins.
What if I used digital visa card? How was I supposed to photo it?
And the service they provided for photoing accepts only photos from web camera. I was lucky that I bought recently web camera with high enough amount of pixel power and manual focus. What if I did not?
That's all really SUS!
The person can not notice the letter within 24 hours time frame until the morning, when it would be already too late.10 -
Holy shiiittttt I finally got 64bit NASM working on windows with cmake. Cmake documentation is fkn bad man.
I’ve got a c++ file that calls a procedure in an assembly file that calls win32 APIs to show dialogs and other cool shit. Compiling was working fine, linking turned out to be a bit of a pain in the ass, but figuring out how to enable NASM in cmake was a nightmare. Why is the cmake docs so horrific 🥺1 -
Why can't Debian just pull their heads out of their collective asses just ONCE and standardize the DEP-5 license syntax with SPDX, which the rest of the world is already using? Do they get sexually aroused over having years long discussions about topics with solutions readily apparent in under five minutes to the average third-grader?
Also, how do they stay relevant with such an absurdly high positive correlation between authority within the project and unwarranted condescension towards anyone inquiring about how to catalyze a change in policy or procedure?
Seriously, if I wanted to be insulted thrice within every sentence and treated like a self-evident waste of skin and air, I'd go spend time with my family! Arghhh!13 -
Woke up to a migraine... Went to work (this wasnt the best idea), got sent home for the rest of the day. Riding a bike while your brain feels like it wants to exit your skull is not the best thing. Then it proceeds, puking is sometimes a sign for me that the worst part is over. Then head movement headache for some more hours and everything is fine again. Timespan of the whole procedure is about 10 to 12 hours.
At least I have a version of migraine with a temporary vision restriction beforehand according to the doctor some years ago. If I would listen to that signs I could prepare better...4 -
Code review today and the senior says "Avoid comments. Putting the procedure in a well named function where it can modify those class properties will work just as well."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU ARE GOING TO PREFER CODE OVERHEAD OVER COMMENTS? I AM SO TRIGGERED RIGHT NOW I CAN'T15 -
It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.
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Fuck, I knew that my code for my thesis would at some point become bad and very unmaintainable. Workaround here and there, everything put together "to fix later", just to make it all work "for now". I know what my code does where and when but my tech debt has reached a critical point, where a new idea and new procedure cannot be simply be added. Well, time to refactor and modularize as much as possible😪
Wish me luck that the whole project doesn't brake. Oh and of course so many different changes that I don't know what to put in git and in which order to do so.12 -
Random guy messages me on WhatsApp that he needs help, that his friend told him I'm good at blah blah blah.........
the issue: he paid for some random php bitcoin thingy blah blah, sent me a link to the site, pretty straightforward instructions on how to use it. I explained everything to him and he says he wants to tweak the php script before he puts it out.
me: then do it
him: how do I start?
me(in my head): did you not think of this before paying for the script?!
also me: oh well, download xampp, good for beginners, easy to setup.
him: not working! please help me
I knew from the onset that he was a windows user.
he started by running it without admin privileges
I had no idea and kept solving problems that didn't exist until I asked him to snap the log, after explaining how to run a software as administrator, we Solved it
port 80 was taken. had to go through the process of changing the ports, I had to validate every single change.
going through the procedure of reinstalling because he installed to some crappy directory. after all the headaches and then redoing all the processes stated above, it still doesn't work.
one final solution left and I am dropping him like a hot potato. I must have close to a hundred pictures of someone's screen on my phone.
little question: when he types localhost on his browser windows IIS page thingy pops up. I was thinking of changing the server name to localserver: new port address6 -
OK what the actual fuck is going on within this company.
TL;DR: Spaghetti Copy/Pasted code that made me mad because it's just a mess
I just looked into a code file to search for a specific procedure regarding the creation of invoices.
I thought "Oh this is gonna be a quick look-through of like 1000 lines MAX" turns out this script is 11317 fucking lines long and most of it's logic is written there multiple (up to 6-7 times). And I'm not talking about a simple 10 lines or something. No! Logic of over 300 lines.. copy & pasted over .. and over .. and over?! I mean what the fuck did this guy drink when he wrote this.
Alsooo 10000 of those 11317 lines is ONE FUNCTION.. I kid you not! It's just a gigantic if / else if construct that, as I said before, contains copy-pasted code all over the place.
Sadly my TL thinks that code cleanup / optimization is "not necessary as long as it works" like wtf dude. If anyone wants to ever fix something in this mess or add a new feature they take a few hours longer just to "adjust" to this fucking shit.
This is a nightmare. The worst part: This is not the only script that has shit like this. We got over 150 "modules" (Yeah, we ATTEMPTED something OOP-ish but failed miserably) that sometimes have over 15000 lines which could be easily cut down to 1/3 and/or splitted into multiple files.
Let's not start about centralization of methods or encoding handling or coding standards or work code review or .. you get the point because there's a character limit for one rant and I guess I'd overshoot that by a lot if I'd start with that. Holy shit I can't wait until my internship is over and I can leave this code-hell!!2 -
The fuck? I'm trying to automate login for an asp.net website from a C# console app using HttpWebRequests. I used Fiddler to see how the login happens and how the browser obtains the session and auth cookies from the server. When I replicate the same procedure from C#, I am able to get both cookies withoth a problem, but when I try to use them to get data about the user, I get a 500 ISE. What the actual fuck? I've double-checked every single header and the URLs and it's doing literally the same thing as chrome: Get asp session id (POST)-> get an auth cookie (POST username and passwd) -> interact with the site using the session id and auth cookie (GET). And obiviously I don't have access to the server logs... :/2
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I have a few projects on the go at work at the moment which could be successful, but only time will tell:
1. We have a requirement to monitor or SQL servers for any long running queries (anything that runs longer than 3 minutes). Company didn’t want to pay for enterprise grade solution so as the only SQL Developer I created a small system that involves a database, 2 tables a stored procedure and scheduled job. It goes off every 10 minutes queries some system tables etc and write the results to the tables. Still waiting for it to be deployed to one of the test servers. I have plans for a web front end in the future.
2. My company currently use source safe for version control. They’ve lost the admin password so only 1 person can log in. I’m running he project to plan the migration to GitLab. It’s getting close to completion and soon someone is going to be tasked with creating 100s or projects etc.
3. We use an ERP system which is huge with thousands of tables, but no FKs or anything like that. The current data dictionary is a spreadsheet, as a side project I’m creating a web app so that this information is easily available and searchable.
All 3 projects have the potential to be successful, for my team at least, but stuck waiting for other people to do their stuff first. -
Fuckin McAfee tried installing it and asks me for a restart. After that the application fails to open up a process is clearly running in the background however nothing to show.
Tried the have you turned it off and on again procedure atleast 5 times but nothing.
Finally tried contacting McAfee support. Asks me to give them remote access via their application. The link stayed there like a dummy. Clicking it opened nothing. After the chat got disconnected 3 times.
Then when i try reinstalling it it says we are in the middle of an installation and we'll open that up. It opens a fuckin take a tour box and ypu can fuckin click anywhere and everywhere on the window but it stays there sitting, waiting, watching
Fuckin intel and fuckin McAfee get your shit together2 -
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority." -
Colleague: I'll write a stored procedure that does fully qualified database table path names to access data from the other databases and then do business logic with all of it in the same proc.
Me: That will be 600 lashings.4 -
Working on a piece of code, first created in 1994 and has had constant changes and modifications till 2014
I need to take it and turn it into a procedure library and new methods and classes and I have 3 weeks to do it.
Worst off I'm a junior programmer and I only have 9 months experience with the language5 -
Silly question: what is the main difference between a procedural programming paradigm and a functional paradigm?7
-
10 hours ago I was trying to install manjaro on my laptop. I have run into problems with the nvidicancer drivers, as one would expect, but at least I had a working OS. I was following a video tutorial that instructed me to tweak some grub settings, and I was able to do it with no problem.
Now on the other hand, I am following the EXACT SAME procedure (same partition, same installer, same settings),but after I update-grub,everything freezes including the command itself.
How is it possible that doing the exact same procedure at different times of the day gives me two different results? Is my laptop sentient and simply "not in the mood" anymore, or what the fuck?7 -
Is there ever any reason for SINGLE Hibernate SQL query/template to join like 10 different tables, do math, and come out to like 30 lines?
This is not a stored procedure, it's a single SELECT2 -
When you spend 3h trying to fix a procedure on MySQL and the problem was a f***** variable name. I felt so bad and sad :'(1
-
I've now spent 4 hours trying to understand this piece of shit stored procedure.
3475 lines of pure shit with 3 levels down nested sub-selects.
FML!1 -
The procedure of introducing new coworkers here is still not clear to me.
I hear a new person is introduced behind me, so i thought i had to shake a new hand soon. But no.
I probably get an impersonal email in about a week when he/she has been working here for 4 days. -
My team was asked to point to a mock service in our QA env. Standard procedure is to copy the line in our QA property file that has the service URL, comment one out, and change the other to the mock service. Then, push the code and deploy to QA.
What did someone do? He didn't touch the property file. He found where we were defining the configuration for our http requester, removed the property reference, and HARD CODED the mock URL.
Wait, it gets better. The mock service does not function the same way the real service does. We need to send an additional query param to the mock service (that has a value already being sent in a header) so they modified ANOTHER file where the actual request is being made.
He made the changes, deployed to QA, and didn't check in any code.
What is going to happen next time when we deploy to QA with the latest code? Oh look, we'll be pointing to the real service again.
I explained this to my architect, and included that this messed up mock service they were calling is our 2nd mock service (no idea why they made a new one) and he simply deleted the stupid 2nd mock service. Screw that!
And...now requests to QA don't work 😂 -
What's your thoughts on stored procedures(of DBs)?
What are the pros and the cost you found or perceived?
When they are opportune?
Overusing them more than a programming language is an abuse?
I was introduced to a software started initially by economy\finance people which knew a little bit programming, nonetheless their doing became messy though time and at a certain point hired a team of 4 people(from my company) to deal with it, but the approach of the two programmers to build most of the framework on calling stored procedures or queries makes me want to puke, there are almost no layers of separation of concern in place x_x3 -
Okay. So finally I moved into a new pc. Because I never worked in a company, I have absolutely no idea what is the proper standard workflow of developing a website. My work flow was the same in past 12 years, how I have learned in the school: Used xampp, developed everything, used git only locally, when stuff was ready I fired up Filezilla and uploaded everything, and used ssh to make the final adjustments. When I have made some changes, I just uploaded the files I have touched, in the same way, optimized if it was necessary, done. I wonder if someone can clarify me how a proper workflow looks like for php/laravel, mysql, nothing fancy. Is using xampp still okay? Or what is the industry standard procedure?2
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I just spent 6 hours searching for the reason my code ONLY works when stepping through the breakpoints. Turns out I just had to add a single line of code to my procedure (chartObject.Activate) to make it work. I'd be lost without those 3 year old posts on some shady Excel VBA forums.
Thanks for documenting that, Microsoft! -
Pulled my hair out over one today (and a week ago when I first saw the issue)
Setting up development environment. Created test user and test database and used mysqldump to copy data over.
MySQL was executing a function as the wrong user. Checked my config files, checked my config reader, checked my database connection, checked checked checked. Checked everything twice, I felt like Santa.
Changed the password in the config file to make sure it was logging in right. It threw an error still but not one I had expected so I figured the login still worked (My bias was that I thought the config file was not working or the mysql library was caching authentication. Both were wrong but this blinded my debugging. Foolish, I have forgotten my training)
Logged into the database directly via client. *didn't bother executing the function because I was only testing auth*
Think
Think
Think
Search entire project for database username. It's gotta be hard coded by accident SOMEWHERE.
It's not.
Why
Why
Why
Wait.
-- Flashback to how the test db was created -- What's actually in this damn script?
DEFINER `production_user` CREATE PROCEDURE `old_db`.`procedure_name`
Two issues: definer is old user (this is the error I was seeing) and its creating the procedure on the old db (this would be the next error I would have found if I kept going)
Fuck mysqldump. Install mysqldbcopy. Works
Put hair back in head. -
so there was this issue regarding our company's system which tends to be a problem for sometime now, its a recurring issue caused by the data that the users needs to encode to the system
today another issue arised, our senior supervisor, not knowing that this issue was already recurring and there is already a documented step procedure on how to address it, suggested or come up with a another solution which would task one of our co-developer to push a temporary code to production during business hours just to accommodate the issue and rollback the code after
take note that its during business hours and more than a hundreds of branches of the company are using the said system
what was he thinking !!
thankfully one of our colleagues voiced out explaining that this issue was already recurring and already has a procedural solution, but still our brainy-know-it-all-stubborn-close-minded heck of a supervisor insisted that the solution has computational impact and still insisted that they push a temporary code to the production, what an idiot!!
fast forward our colleagues ended up standing their ground, even if our supervisor is highly doubtful at them, and executed the already established solution instead of pushing a temporary code to the production which was such a bullshit idea
damn those close minded people they shouldn't have reach that position in the first place!! -
They keep training bigger language models (GPT et al). All the resear4chers appear to be doing this as a first step, and then running self-learning. The way they do this is train a smaller network, using the bigger network as a teacher. Another way of doing this is dropping some parameters and nodes and testing the performance of the network to see if the smaller version performs roughly the same, on the theory that there are some initialization and configurations that start out, just by happenstance, to be efficient (like finding a "winning lottery ticket").
My question is why aren't they running these two procedures *during* training and validation?
If [x] is a good initialization or larger network and [y] is a smaller network, then
after each training and validation, we run it against a potential [y]. If the result is acceptable and [y] is a good substitute, y becomes x, and we repeat the entire procedure.
The idea is not to look to optimize mere training and validation loss, but to bootstrap a sort of meta-loss that exists across the whole span of training, amortizing the loss function.
Anyone seen this in the wild yet?5 -
By Boss insists to do branch merge in a Skype meeting after work time.. he has nothing to do with development but he insists to be with us and lead the procedure..
He thinks this is how Devops works..2 -
VBScript.
Hey look, this arg is declared as ByRef, but when you called that procedure you put it in parentheses, so it was passed by value! Yeah, makes perfect sense, and soooo easy to debug... -
Fuck Oracle, fuck you oracle! The stupidest shittiest worst nightmare company with the most user-unfriendly, productivity-killing, illogical, stupid pile of software garbage products ever! And unfortunately I want to extends my worm-fucks to all Oracle employees and maintainers and to the whole fucking community of shit that made up oracle-community and to every conscious being who ever liked, enjoyed or have found the slightest genuine interest of any product tagged "oracle".
I installed the pile of shit a.k.a Oracle 18c and imported a dumb file locally, everything was working in the slightest amount of the word (fine) before it turns to nightmare. I created a C# client to call a stored procedure in that shit of a database engine. I kept getting error related to the parameter types, specifically one which is custom type of Table of numbers. It turns out that the only of doing this is through that shit they called (unmanaged driver), the "managed" doesn't support custom types. So I had to install another package of shit they call (odbc universal install) "universal my a$$ by the way", at that moment, where everything just crashed and stopped working. I spent 3 hours trying to connect to the fucking database to no avail. I shockingly found a folder in my desktop folder called (OracleInstallation) and all windows services related to oracle installation "suddenly" got somehow (re-routed) to that folder.
In conclusion, fuck oracle.4 -
Finding a stored procedure to copy code out of because I didn’t have the brainpower or willpower to write the same code again.
Ironically, finding the sProc probably took more time than actually rewriting it.....1 -
I was already done with the company that couldn't make up their mind about JS. I got a mail:
They're stopping the procedure because they're looking for someone that also enjoys coding in their spare time. In other words: work 80 hours a week. -
We have Python. A very fast to use language.
We have a package warehouse with a lot of packet, PyPI.
Why for the rage of the Gods the upload procedure of a new package to PyPI need to be so LONG and not easily understood??2 -
Git Merge 1 of branch to master: COMPLETE
Git Merge 2 of branch to master: (code change on branch, no change to master, exactly the same conditions, command, and procedure as before) FAILED - CONFLICT
Guess I’ll just die?3 -
At a FIFTH interview call and waiting.
Scheduled at 4pm, just got to know the HR himself is in a fucking meeting. So procedure would resume at 5pm. Like seriously?
Why do these big corps not give a fuck about applicants' time. Why schedule at 4pm in the first place.
Also scheduling at 4pm so I miss another work day at my current company...
No value for our time :(1 -
This depends mainly on the programming language with which I want or have to develop a project.
I like to use Behat for PHP and other simple things. At the moment I only have clients who want to implement projects in PHP. God knows why.
For more complicated things I like to use yeoman, but I have to say that there are also a lot of horrible generators, so I follow the official instructions more often.
Otherwise, the usual procedure:
1) git init
2) Planning of features and functions (if not already specified by the client)
3) Select frameworks (mostly necessary)
4) Start programming
5) Commit often
6) Commit often
7) Commit often -
Algorithms class assignment..
"Prove that the merge procedure cannot run in place".
Searching google...
There are multiple merge procedures (though super complicated) that run in place.
What's the use of this class if we can't be practical because we must be theoretical, but we can't mention real theoretical stuff because it's so complicated??
I mean we are being told something that is just wrong..
I really hate this fucking professor. She went to Oxford and now thinks she's the smartest person in the universe.. -
So yesterday evening when going to bed I wanted to sleep asap.
Therefore I used a 'tactic' called count to ten and then start over again. This is supposed to be relaxing so you stop thinking about other things an you get sleepy faster.
It usually works...
...But then my brain decided to write a program for said procedure in my mind. I actually started thinking:
int count=0;
While ( ! isAsleep() ){
think(count);
count++;
If( count == 10 ){
count = 0;
}
}
It didn't really help me falling asleep...1 -
We had a production outage directly caused by our team not following a change procedure correctly. Now we're under a microscope and in a "get well" program.
They took over the daily standup for this high priority program and are organizing efforts in confluence instead of jira.
Now we have a confluence doc of what everyone is working on with someone changing the text status in a table by hand every morning along with the comments in a note section...1 -
I maintain and develop a FOSS repository on GitHub and I intend to migrate from Electron to Flutter.
What is the proper procedure for this?
I want to keep the name and community but it also feels a bit messy.
Do I just wipe everything old on the main branch and keep a branch that reflects the newest Electron version or do I move to a new repository and start over?
Tips and feedback is appreciated!4 -
Does anyone else's job just hate documentation? I have wasted most of the day trying to get our new build to work because I keep hitters snags that aren't documented. Hour release was delayed 6 hours because our QA doesn't have any kind of written procedure or checklist and missed bugs in something that is usually problematic, and I am being forced to stay online by a micromanaging boss that needs to realize he's not an engineer anymore. And I am supposed to have a feature done by today, but this clusterfuck consumed all of the resources I need. I'm polishing the ol' resume. Anyone looking for a remote .net dev?1
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Spent several weeks on a stored procedure and its a masterpiece. Works perfectly and looks amazing with well commented code @rowseyej helped a little.2
-
Shaved my hair with the intention to make a buzzcut. Shaver dies in the middle of the procedure. Yelp. Chill at home for the next 2 hours looking like a latestage cancer patient. Okay lets go on. Zzzz
One clean strip of mozzarella looking back through the mirror. Forgot to attach the 3 mm thingie after cleaning. Bald it is. Still great decision, dandruff gone in less than a day. Hell yea!!! -
I have to build a database migration that generates user handles. The user handles are unique within an organization. The user can change them. The auto generated handles are either the first name + last name, or the business name depending on which user type it is. Unless it would be a duplicate. Duplicates auto increment if the handle is taken. The character limit for a user handle is the same length as first name plus last name so I have to check for possible overflow if I add digits. I also have to see if the generated name is in the DB already because a user could have custom entered the result of the auto generation.
This has to be programmed async. The DB driver is using a transaction but multiple calls have to be made to check if the generated handle exists for that organization. Also I have to check the migration script itself for possible duplicates. 3/4 of the users have a handle and with the scale there will definitely be duplicate names.
My idea is if there is a collision, use a UUID and let the users pick something nicer next time they log in. Business says “Reeeeeee!!!! The users shouldn’t see a UUID!!! You can do this!!!” Absurd uniqueness requirements. Absurd backfill procedure. Absurd business rules.2 -
Same procedure as every night. I don't know why but I can't sleep at the moment. I went to bed at 9pm today because I was fucking tired and woke up at 11pm again - totally awake and refreshed but I know I will be fucked tomorrow because of not enough sleep... I am actually thinking about doing today's work now instead of in 9 hours.
-
Thought about startup.. Strange but literally saying no single coin had in my pocket.. Still have love for startup.. But u know what no project no idea no team.. Still struggling for startup.. Fortunately few days back got proposal of govt project.. One min game literally coin replaced his face.. But after some days grant procedure issue pending sucks.. Still have love for startup.. Suddenly got a thought can I do it after grant but I know I have devRant support.. So still continue to love for startup ;-)
Just few days are remaining and waiting for it.. -
Spent a few hours optimising a procedure...
It's almost quitting time now, my procedure is returning wrong results in more time...
I hate "productivity" on Friday... -
In the other day i was restarting my windows machine like a normal procedure but it was taking too much time. I waited and sudently in the middle of the restart I got a blue screen and the PC restarts.
I am like OK....... Well at least boots up :)
I need to tell my boss that we need to change to linux. -
Angular and MVC really slows shit down, doesn't it?
I added 1 (one) page which displayed two data grids,straight out of a database procedure. Here's the head count:
- 13(!!!!!) New files
- 5 old ones modified
- Build process on both server and client side (Visual Studio build and ng build)7 -
I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
Client asks if we could proceed with migration today, or on monday
We agree on today and proceed to spell out the procedure, if it's okay
Client replies that they would prefer to migrate on monday, and asks how long the downtime will be, and whether it would be possible to migrate without downtime.
Why, of course, but only if your frickin infrastructure didn't consist of a *single* machine!
Ugh, why me... -
Friday
> Mister IHateForALiving, we have an automated procedure which downloads files from a website. You should update it and use the new webservice instead.
Sounds cool, just send me the documentation
> Oh yeah, have this example of a request
... Dude, this thing has 10 parameters. None of them are named, and 7 of them are actually nulled. How do I fill this thing?
> IDK
Oh, ehm... Let's ask the client then!
> NONONONO, we told the client this update was live at least 3 months ago, we can't begin asking questions now
Ouch. How much time do I have to make sense of this mess?
> The new supplier should take charge by the end of the month, I'd like this to be live by Tuesday
Needless to say, it's not going well, but that ain't none of my business1 -
!rant,
Belonging to the last 3 of the intake procedure, tomorrow a final test and then im a php dev maybe WOHOO -
So it's been happening for a while now. My dual boot system just appears to have a feature: it auto boots into Ubuntu on restart.
And, I don't why but since 17.10 artful update whenever I press either up or down arrow keys while boot it shows me the log of whole procedure which is kinda nuts; I mean why would they wanna do that, this isn't '90s.
Do reply if I'm not alone.3 -
"Like ... phenomena united by Einstein's formula E = mc², procedure and data are to some extent two different ways of viewing the same thing."
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A c# remote procedure library.
Made years ago when i had no real science and engineering knowledge.
https://github.com/scrapes/... -
Despite not having any real C# experience to speak of, I've been put on a short and rather intense enhancement project that was written with .net framework and MVC.
Yesterday I had to add a new method to call a stored procedure. The file I had to add it in was over 6k lines long. Most files, not including entities, are well over 1k - including the views.
Can't say I'm enjoying working on this project so far.
(Did I mention the clients have a tendency to change requirements mid sprint?)1 -
I wanted to know what is the worst mistake you make on database.
I have actually implements the logic of token access control on database and not on business logic layer.
The database have a login procedure which accept username and password. That login procedure actually hash the password and try to authenticate user.
If it is a correct user , it generate a token. In other to use other procedure on database , you must provide a token. By using that token , the procedure know who is it and what permission is granted to that user.4 -
I just fucking rage quit SSMS...
Was trying to call a long named stored procedure and started typing the name when suddenly, autocomplete pops up with the name of the procedure.
I'm like hell yeah, I press tab to complete it, it appends the name to what I already wrote...
I delete it, start writing again, pops up again, I press down to select it and press enter, it appends it again.
*Ragequit*
Who the fuck QA'd that?1 -
How the hell do I plan and put in place new procedures for testing and THEN updating software on our department server 😫 (a 7zip bug got us good recently lol)
why couldn't this be a procedure before I started working here. I don't know how to create a procedure document. What if I forget to write a step
Fuck I just wanna go back to my code not a word document3 -
Enabling browser userscripts on Android is not an evident procedure for novice users.
It's annoying if people do want this functionality to change how web pages behave, e.g. they want to fix a broken banner on mobile that doesn't have max-width: 100% but instead crops off on the page.
At this current time, Firefox changed their engine so that it supports only a limited set of add-ons and you'd have to use a nightly build in order to enable other add-ons such as userscript ones.
Chrome doesn't accept add-ons/extensions.
And there's the JavaScript trick but again, not user-friendly.
It's just annoying.1 -
What's the best way to deal with constant dread? I deployed code after following every procedure, got every kind of thumbs up from QA and now it's my fault our 2012 admin site borked. Should I point out all the obvious flaws (again), or should I give up on our stagnant-ass developers and systems?
The fear of showing off anything new is crippling. I wrote up a Pyton API to hook into our current pipeline over lunch breaks but am worried if I even raise it as an option it'll just be cast aside and lost to time, regardless of business value. -
First run of an import procedure in the production environment.
Spent all morning with an "Unsupported media type" error.
Finds out that the provided password was wrong and that the Webservice always return that message when there's an error.
Any type of error... -
When i wrote my first data structure (linked list) in c.
When I first learnt and used the concept of subqueries.
And way before that when i made a static website teaching c and made JavaScript output the result of c code i was explaining.
Also in my first job when i was debugging a shitty 2k plus lines stored procedure for days to realize that it was giving a wrong output just because a single variable was unassigned (null) -
So PHP PDOs... nothing fucking works. It's that or the lovely MariaDB implementation, I know that the query is correct and I've tried a stored procedure as well. The query itself ran once to add one user and never again while anything I try now doesn't return any result. I'm going to install Percona and see if it's the implementation or me.6
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I need some help with parking a domain in ovh.com webhosting. It's a real pain in the ass so any input is strongly appreciated. I kinda figured out what todo already, but still need some clarification.
Normally after buying a webhosting all I would need to do is login to my domain registrar's website and in the control panel just change nameservers to webhosting nameservers and that's all. Webhosting provider would take care of the rest (subdomain creation, e-mail creation and etc.) But because OVH are assholes, they support this type of domain parking only for domains registered at OVH.
For external domains, procedure is as follows:
For the configuration to function, you will need to make the following adjustments with the current provider:
Insert a TXT record for the domain ovhcontrol.mydomain.com with the value jwyPolzgrZyIShzaQItqw
Point the A record of your domain mydomain.com to 51.244.97.19
Point the A record of your domain www.mydomain.com to 51.244.97.19
So basically I had to login to registrars cPanel and first of all I had to park my domain back to my registrar (I had to switch to default nameservers which are provided by domain registrar)
Only then I got advanced access to dns zone in order to add the required records above.
When I open my domain registrars dns zone cpanel this is what I see:
http://prntscr.com/nekx40
So basically, as I understand, I just need to add these required records like this?
http://prntscr.com/nekxjc
Am I correct?
So basically my OVH webhosting doesn't deal with dns zone at all, I will have to use my own registrar for adding subdomains?
What about e-mail addresses? OVH doesnt allow me to create emailboxes for "externally" parked domain addresses. Will I have to search for some e-mail provider, and add some additional records?
Any input/help would be appreciated.1 -
System.OutOfMemoryException was thrown trying to execute a stored procedure in the database. I think it might be time for some optimizations again. ... but no before coffee
-
If you are falling to stored procedures for every performance optimizations
Concludes You haven't started well.. -
I'm doing a code review and, it's not unheard of to have lowercase SQL im our codebase even though most of it is uppercase. For this reason I decided to let the lowercase SQL slide even though it makes me cringe so much... That is, until I came to one procedure that was uppercase and in this revision it is lowercase :O I want to die a gruesome way which would be very nice compared to this :O
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My late 2015 iMac won’t get past the progress bar on the startup. I’ve tried every combo keypress/restart procedure I can dig up in multiple Google searches. Starting to get worried I’ll have to completely wipe and reinstall. Online Apple support is not helpful. Genius Bar in my area is not taking appointments still due to COVID. And money is always too tight to buy anything other than another used Mac. Anyone got a surefire way to get back to a login screen? At least to ensure my backup is up-to-date before I wipe it and start over?6
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So I go to a GDG for VRView tonight, and generally had a great time. I arrived on time, got set up, crushed the coding exercise, and helped a couple of people out with their code.
As is standard procedure with these kinds of events, there was a giveaway at the end - a sealed Daydream View. The guy running the event picked the winner randomly. I was #6, due to the fact that a guy came in literally 20 minutes before we wrapped. Guess who won the VR set? Yep, the dude who came in late, and sat immediately to my right, making him person #5. I'm pretty sure the words "greifer" and "twatwaffle" ran through my head as I packed up to leave. -_- -
[Prestashop question / rant]
Yes, it's not StackOverflow here, neither is it prestashop support forum - but I trust u people most :)
Proper solution for working with big(?) import of products from XML (2,5MB, ~8600 items) to MySQL(InnoDB) within prestashop backoffice module (OR standalone cronjob)
"solutions" I read about so far:
- Up php's max execution time/max memory limit to infinity and hope it's enough
- Run import as a cronjob
- Use MySQL XML parsing procedure and just supply raw xml file to it
- Convert to CSV and use prestashop import functionality (most unreliable so far)
- Instead of using ObjectModel, assemble raw sql queries for chunks of items
- Buy a pre-made module to just handle import (meh)
Maybe an expert on the topic could recommend something?3 -
I'm doing the recommended math tasks. Since I can't trust the prof's solutions (he does errors here and there), I watch YouTube videos, Khan Academy videos, compare the results of the prof with the results of online step calculators such as wolfram alpha and find new rules I've never heard of before.
The prof doesn't really comment every step about why he's doing what. He just provides the solution and I have to reverse engineer from his solution up to the original state of the equation. Repeating the same procedure for the online calculator results as well.
I have to say that "Oh, boy, did I learn so many valuable things..." Stuff that I should have learned when I was at least doing my A levels (Abitur).
It is as if I am opening the gates to a new world. Not even exaggerating. Ok, maybe a bit. Ok, maybe a bit more, but no bit more than that.9 -
How Supreme Peregrine Recovery help to get back my Litecoin.
Hi am Gabriel. Supreme Peregrine Recovery provided amazing assistance, for which I am so grateful! I was distraught and couldn't figure out what to do after losing my $58,000 worth of Litecoin. Their staff was competent, professional, and committed to assisting me in getting my money back. They kept me updated at every stage and helped me navigate the entire procedure. I was able to recoup my investment and restore my peace of mind because of their knowledge. I heartily endorse their services.
+1,8,7,0,2,2,6,0,6,5,9
supremeperegrinerecovery567(@)zohomail(.)com
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info(@)supremeperegrinerecovery(.)com
1 -
New to wordpress.
Wordpress gods,
How would i send a mail using 'wp mail smtp' plugin? I completed the procedure and test mail was successful. How would i call this from UI. No tuts saying anything about that i guess4 -
The application I work on starts throwing timeout errors for about every third user. Lead developer cannot figure out what happened. DBA is out of town and cannot be reached. I do a quick Google search and run the stored procedure sp_updatestats. Timeouts stop and there is a big performance boost on the application. Everyone congratulates me on fixing the problem, and now I'm reading up on MS SQL Server Statistics and wondering about what other magical tools everyone else knows about that me and my team are clueless on...
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LOST USDT AND ETHEREUM RECOVERY EXPERT CONTACT SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
The day I discovered I had lost my 210,000 Bitcoin, I was overcome with a sense of hopelessness that I will never get over. My sorrow was instantaneous, and I was troubled by the possibility that I might never get my possessions back. I spent weeks dwelling on the situation's bleakness and mentally reliving my error. The psychological toll was intolerable, and it seemed like my hope of getting back what I had lost was getting more and farther away. That’s when I came across Spartan Tech Group Retrieval. At first, I was hesitant—after all, I had tried everything I could think of to recover my Bitcoin with no luck. But something about their professionalism and the positive reviews I found gave me a sliver of hope. I decided to reach out and see if they could help. I knew I had made the correct choice as soon as I got in touch with them. In addition to their expertise, the staff at Spartan Tech Group Retrieval showed a great deal of empathy for my predicament. They calmed me at every stage and provided a detailed explanation of the procedure. They tackled the assignment with tenacity and accuracy, and it was clear that they sincerely cared about helping me get my missing Bitcoin back. The waiting was agonizing, but throughout the entire process, the Spartan Tech Group Retrieval team kept me updated, alleviating some of the anxiety that had consumed me. When the day finally came, and I received the message that my 210,000 BTC had been successfully recovered, it felt like an entire weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The joy and relief I experienced were indescribable—what seemed impossible was now a reality. Thanks to the Spartan Tech Group Retrieval team's unwavering efforts, I moved from feeling hopeless to ecstatic. In addition to returning my missing Bitcoin, they gave me hope, which I had feared was lost forever. My perspective was totally changed by the event, and I will always be appreciative of their professionalism, tolerance, and knowledge. Spartan Tech Group Retrieval is an excellent option if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. They demonstrated to me that recovery is always possible with the correct support and that no circumstance is too dire. I can never express how much I appreciate their service. Send them a DM for assistance via; WhatsApp:+1 (971) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Email: spartantechretrieval (@) g r o u p m a i l .c o m
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Greetings. Spartan Tech Group Retrieval
4 -
FOLKWIN EXPERT RECOVERY/A CERTIFIED TEAM SET TO RECOVER ALL LOST CRYPTO/USDT ASSET.
One months ago, I thought I was making a sound investment in a sustainable fashion startup in Paris, putting in EUR 50,000. As someone who values sustainability and innovation, this opportunity felt like a perfect match. The startup, which promised to revolutionize the fashion industry with eco-friendly materials and ethical production methods, had an impressive pitch. Their website showcased professional designs, glowing testimonials from industry experts, and even a few media features that added to their credibility. Initially, everything seemed promising. I was thrilled to be part of a venture that aligned with my values and had the potential for substantial returns. I conducted my due diligence, reviewed their business plan, and even reached out to other investors who expressed confidence in the project. It felt like a dream come true. However, as time went on, my excitement began to wane. After a couple of months, I decided it was time to withdraw some of my earnings. After all, I had invested a significant amount, and it was only reasonable to see some returns. To my shock, I encountered unexpected fees during the withdrawal process. The company cited various "administrative costs" and "processing fees" that I had never heard of before. I brushed it off, thinking it was a standard procedure. I paid the fees, hoping it would be the last hurdle. But as soon as I submitted my withdrawal request, I was met with silence. My broker, who had previously been responsive and engaging, stopped replying to my emails and calls. Days turned into weeks, and my unease grew into frustration. It felt as if I was trapped in a nightmare. Desperate to reclaim my funds, I began researching the situation. I discovered that I wasn’t alone; many others had fallen victim to similar scams. It was alarming to see a pattern of deceit that had ensnared so many investors. Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to reach out for help. That’s when I found ( F O L K W I N ( EXPERT ) R E C O V E R Y ). They specialized in assisting individuals like me who had been misled by unscrupulous investment firms. Their team was professional and empathetic, providing me with a sense of hope that I had lost. They guided me through the recovery process, helping me understand my options and the steps I needed to take. While the journey is still ongoing, I feel more empowered knowing I have experts on my side. I’ve learned the importance of thorough research and vigilance in investment decisions. Though the experience has been harrowing, I’m determined to reclaim my funds and ensure that others are warned about potential scams.
FOLKWIN EXPERT RECOVERY DETAILS TO CONTACT:
Email: Folkwinexpertrecovery (@) tech-center . com
Telegram: @Folkwin_expert_recovery
WhatsApp: +1 (740)705-0711
Regards,
Elizabeth Aleksandra.
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RECOVER YOUR STOLEN BITCOIN-USDT BACK CONTACT SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY
This experience has been nothing short of transformative. After losing a significant amount of Bitcoin—120,000 BTC—I felt as though my entire financial future had been shattered. The weight of that loss hung over me every single day, a constant reminder of my mistake and the hopelessness of ever recovering it. For weeks, I carried that burden, consumed by regret and uncertainty. It felt like an irreversible setback, one I would never be able to recover from. All of that changed after I discovered Salvage Asset Recovery. Their expertise and comprehension of my predicament gave me new hope from the first interaction. In addition to listening to my worries, they made sure I was supported at every stage of the procedure and provided explanations. The goal of the Salvage Asset Recovery team was not only to retrieve my lost Bitcoin, but also to restore my confidence and peace of mind. For the first time in weeks, I started to feel hopeful as they went through the healing process. Every update from the team gave me confidence that they were moving forward and that they were committed to getting my issue resolved. I was shocked to learn that my 40,000 BTC had been totally restored. I was really relieved. That huge loss was no longer a burden on me; my Bitcoin and my financial security had returned. This has been a very transforming experience. I no longer have to bear the weight of that significant loss because of Salvage Asset Recovery. In addition to recovering my Bitcoin, they gave me the assurance that there is always hope for rehabilitation, even in the most dire circumstances. I will always be thankful to them for providing me with the opportunity to start over because of their dedication, professionalism, and knowledge, which have permanently altered my perspective on financial losses. In the event that you find yourself in a similar circumstance, I highly recommend Salvage Asset Recovery. Their level of expertise, commitment, and service is unparalleled. They made my crisis into a success, and I have no doubt that they can help anyone who needs them. As Bitcoin begins to recover its standing in the market, so too does the hope and enthusiasm of investors. Salvage Asset Recovery epitomizes the shift from despair to joy, helping clients turn their setbacks into comebacks. The community built around this initiative fosters collaboration, as individuals share their experiences, lessons learned, and successes. Ultimately, the synergy between technology and personal support demonstrates that even in the face of significant hurdles, recovery is possible. Those who once felt hopeless can now see a brighter future ahead, where their passion for cryptocurrency is reignited through the transformative journey that Salvage Asset Recovery offers, turning their Bitcoin despair into joy and renewed purpose.. Consult Salvage Asset Recovery via below contact details.
Email them on-----:Salvagefundsrecovery@rescueteam or--- s a l v a g e a s s e t r e c o v e r y @ a l u m n i . c o m
WhatsApp-----.+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
Telegram-----@SalvageAsset
3 -
TRUSTWORTHY BTC AND ETHEREUM RECOVERY EXPERT= CONSULT SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY
I saw a post in a Facebook group about a great employment opportunity. The job offer seemed perfectly good salary, benefits, and flexible hours. The agency behind the offer appeared professional, so I decided to apply. Everything seemed normal at first, but then they asked for my personal details and a payment to process the application. They assured me that this was standard procedure, so I trusted them and paid the fee. Not long after, everything went wrong. The job offer disappeared, and I could no longer reach the agency. I tried contacting them through the details they had provided, but no one responded. That's when I realized something was terribly wrong. I later discovered that the fraudsters had used my personal information to apply for credit loans in my name, created an ID.me account to impersonate me, and even filed for tax refunds. The total amount of money they stole from me was a staggering $423,300 USD.I felt completely lost and devastated. I didn’t know where to turn, so I reached out to SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY. Their team acted quickly and professionally. They tracked down the scammers and worked tirelessly to recover all of the stolen funds. With their help, I was able to get every cent of the money back. The process was not easy, but SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY kept me informed every step of the way. Their expertise and persistence made all the difference. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them. Thanks to their hard work, I could finally start to get back on my feet and focus on moving forward. This experience taught me a hard lesson about the importance of being cautious when applying for jobs online. Scammers can easily create convincing profiles and manipulate people into giving up their personal information. Now, I make sure to verify any job opportunity thoroughly before sharing anything online. It’s essential to be extra careful and, if something feels off, trust your instincts. I'm grateful to have recovered my money, but this ordeal has left me with a heightened awareness of how vulnerable we can be in the digital world. Anyone looking for jobs online should always be cautious, and never hesitate to reach out for help if they suspect they’ve been scammed.
THEIR CONTACT INFO
TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
WHATSAPP...+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
1 -
TMW you're dating a nurse and between her criticism of medical procedure and your own criticism of the portrayal of technology and "hacking" you can't sit through any movie without finding it flawed.
-
Does anyone know how to publish MS Teams app to the app source so that anyone can install it? MS Teams docs are shit and can't figure out the procedure for the submission. It's been 2 days since I reached out to their support team and no response yet.
-
I have a mini laptop ( i-ball CompBook Excelance). I want to add an extra monitor to it for coding purpose. Can I do it? Someone suggested me not to do so as monitor would require more power which this laptop will not be able to provide and would result in a short circuit. Is it so that I can't add a monitor to this kind of mini laptop? If it's possible then tell me the kind of monitor to add and it's procedure.
Also it has a 2gb sdRAM. Can I run Android Studio in that? Or can I add more RAM to it?
I know I have asked too many questions here! But please help me guys coz I think that this is the platform where I'll get answers to all my queries. The people I am surrounded with are not worthy to ask such questions. Please help!
Thanks in advance!1 -
RECOVER YOUR STOLEN BITCOIN / USDT OR MONEY LOST TO SCAMMERS
This is to notify anyone looking to reclaim his\her bitcoin lost to scammers. For a successful recovery procedure, I advise you to get in touch with THE HACK ANGELS RECOVERY EXPERT. They are the best in recovery of lost funds. They have a background in cybersecurity and have obtained licenses and certifications that have equipped them with the necessary skills to recover lost funds. Everyone should be careful and stop being deceived by all these online scammers? I lost about $985,000 to these online scammers
This made me very unhappy and upset. I had no idea what to do. A friend recommended me to a recovery expert called THE HACK ANGELS RECOVERY EXPERT. After a few hours of working with them, I was shocked to learn that they had recovered all of my stolen bitcoin in just 48 hours. I said that I will not hold this to myself but share it to the public so that all scammed victims can get their funds back. I advise everyone seeking to recover their lost bitcoin wallet, any online scam. Reach out to THE HACK ANGELS RECOVERY EXPERT. I am so happy to get my funds back and to share the good news to whom it may concern. I can't keep but share this information particularly to anyone else in a similar situation who wants to recover lost assets. Contact inform:
WhatsApp +1(520)200-2320 )
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Meiplus Dentalcare: Effective Relief for Toothaches in Marine Parade
Toothaches can be one of the most uncomfortable and painful experiences you can have. Whether it's a sharp, constant pain or an occasional throb, toothaches are often a sign that something isn't right with your oral health. If you’re experiencing tooth pain and need relief, Meiplus Dentalcare in Marine Parade is here to help. Located at 141 East Coast Road, Singapore 428831, our dental team is ready to provide effective treatments for toothaches and other dental concerns.
What Causes Toothaches?
Toothaches can occur for various reasons, ranging from minor to more severe underlying issues. Understanding the cause of your toothache is the first step in finding the appropriate treatment. Some common causes of toothaches include:
Cavities: The most common cause of toothaches is a cavity or dental decay. When bacteria in your mouth break down food particles, they produce acid that erodes your tooth enamel, leading to cavities that can cause pain.
Gum Disease: Gum infection or inflammation, also known as gingivitis or periodontitis, can result in toothaches, as the gums begin to pull away from the teeth, leading to sensitivity and pain.
Tooth Abscess: A severe tooth infection can lead to an abscess, a pocket of pus that causes intense, localized pain. Abscesses require immediate treatment to prevent the infection from spreading.
Tooth Sensitivity: Some people experience tooth pain due to sensitivity, often triggered by hot or cold food and drinks. This sensitivity can be caused by worn enamel or receding gums.
Teeth Grinding (Bruxism): Habitual grinding of teeth, especially at night, can cause toothaches as it puts excess pressure on the teeth, leading to discomfort.
Trauma or Injury: A fall or injury to the mouth can result in tooth pain, either from a cracked tooth, loose tooth, or other dental injuries.
How We Treat Toothaches at Meiplus Dentalcare
At Meiplus Dentalcare, we prioritize your comfort and well-being. If you’re experiencing a toothache, our team of experienced dentists will conduct a thorough examination to determine the cause of your pain and recommend the best treatment options for relief. Here are some of the ways we treat toothaches:
Dental Fillings: If your toothache is caused by a cavity, we may recommend a dental filling. We’ll remove the decayed portion of the tooth and fill it with a material that restores its shape and function.
Root Canal Therapy: If the pain is due to an infection in the pulp of the tooth, a root canal may be necessary to remove the infection and save the tooth. Our skilled dentists use advanced techniques to ensure this procedure is as comfortable and effective as possible.
Gum Treatment: If your toothache is caused by gum disease, we can provide professional cleaning and gum treatments to reduce inflammation and improve your gum health.
Tooth Extraction: In cases where the tooth is severely damaged or infected and cannot be saved, we may recommend a tooth extraction. Our team will ensure that the procedure is done safely and with minimal discomfort.
Mouthguards for Teeth Grinding: If your toothache is caused by teeth grinding, we can create a custom mouthguard to protect your teeth and prevent further damage.
Medication for Pain Relief: We may recommend over-the-counter pain relievers or prescribe medication to help manage your toothache pain while we work on resolving the underlying issue.
Why Choose Meiplus Dentalcare for Toothaches?
At Meiplus Dentalcare, we provide compassionate, high-quality care for all our patients. Whether your toothache is mild or severe, we understand that you want immediate relief and effective treatment. Our clinic offers:
Experienced and Caring Dentists: Our team of professionals has years of experience treating toothaches and a variety of dental issues. We take the time to listen to your concerns and provide personalized care.
Comprehensive Treatments: We offer a wide range of treatments to address the root causes of your tooth pain, from fillings and root canals to gum treatments and extractions.
State-of-the-Art Facilities: Our clinic is equipped with the latest dental technology, allowing us to diagnose and treat your toothache with precision and comfort.
Patient Comfort: We understand that visiting the dentist can be stressful, especially when you're in pain. Our team will ensure you feel at ease throughout the entire process, providing gentle care and effective solutions.
Affordable Care: We believe that everyone should have access to the dental care they need. Our services are competitively priced, and we offer flexible payment options to make sure you can get the treatment you need without financial worry.
1 -
Not so awful I suppose as long as it's produces quality output
Still only interested in davinci
Question
When chatgpt recognizes stateful requests "modify the part of the procedure Jojon where it updates storeitem to add a column verifiedbyhuman and set it's value to true" is chatgpt feeding everything at once to do davinci ?
1 -
- Have the app running perfectly on heroku.
- App does some serious calculations which, depending on amount of data, takes a long time to process
- Heroku timesout after request takes longer than 30 secs...
- Need to move from heroku to aws... No devops experience...
- Damn... 🙃
Any suggestions? The procedure cannot be put into a worker queue so thats out of the equation.2 -
CONSULT PROFESSIONAL BITCOIN RECOVERY EXPERTS // MAESTRO ENCRYPTER FINANCIER
You want to hear confidence-boosting success tales about getting your lost bitcoins back. Maestro Encrypter Financier has a remarkable history of assisting people and companies in getting their lost money back. Consider the instance of Connor Jack , who unintentionally sent his bitcoins to the incorrect address. Connor's face returned after Maestro Encrypter Financier used their knowledge and tenacity to track down the transaction and get his bitcoins back.
What distinguishes Maestro Encrypter Financier from other alternatives for recovering bitcoin? Above all, their team of professionals is well-versed in handling bitcoin transactions, which enables them to handle even the most complicated circumstances. Furthermore, their customer-focused methodology guarantees that you will receive tailored support and consistent updates during the recuperation procedure. To demonstrate the superiority of Maestro Encrypter Financier, let's compare their performance with that of their competitors. In a head-to-head analysis, Maestro Encrypter Financier consistently outperformed other recovery services in terms of success rate, speed of recovery, and customer satisfaction. Time and time again, they have proven their ability to recover lost bitcoins when others have failed. At Maestro Encrypter Financier, your privacy and confidentiality are of utmost importance. They employ robust security measures to safeguard your personal information and ensure that it remains strictly confidential. You can trust that your data is in safe hands throughout the recovery process. Not only does Maestro Encrypter Financier excel in recovering lost bitcoins, but they also prioritize helping clients protect their funds from future loss. Their team provides expert advice on the latest security practices, including wallet management and secure transaction techniques. By equipping you with the knowledge to safeguard your investments, Maestro Encrypter Financier goes above and beyond to ensure your long-term financial security. For enquiry, Email:(maestroencrypter @ financier . com) or call/ WhatsApp:+14722038937
4 -
Why a dropdownlist depending on a dropdownlist from a complex type(Stored Procedure) from EF CF approach is that hard to handle in MVC1
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