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Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:
"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."
Instead try:
"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."
I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.
If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.
Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.
But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.23 -
A devRant Update!
Hey everyone,
We thought now would be a great time for a devRant summer update on what we've added recently and what we've been working on.
Highlights since our last update:
- We launched devRant++, a supporter program for people who want to help us cover our costs while getting some cool extra features (a supporter badge on rants/comments/profile, reserved spot on our in-app supporter list, ability to edit rants/comments for up to 30 minutes instead of 5, and thanks to immediate user feedback, we also added the ability to post a rant every 1 hour instead of 2, and post comments that are up to 2,000 characters instead of 1,000!) We are extremely happy and thankful for the great response the program has gotten and we plan to continue to improve it using your feedback.
- We added the ability to subscribe to a user's rants. This makes it so you get a notification whenever that user posts a new rant!
- We added an "active discussions" feature (available in the "more" tab on the right). If you're looking to join a conversation happening in the moment, then this feature will help you discover those rants. It shows rants that have recently been commented on so if it's a topic that interests you, you can easily get in on the discussion!
Some stuff we have in the pipeline:
- More fun avatar stuff, including fun new OS/language-themed pets
- More perks for the devRant++ subscriber program - if you have anything you'd like to see, please let us know and we will try to make it happen!
- We will be testing some stuff to help classify rant types (rants, jokes, questions, etc.) in order to create a more personalized experience
- On that note, we're also going to take some more time to do some work on the algo as we haven't done much in terms of improvement since the initial smart algo launched
- Community projects page update - we've been slacking on updating the page and apologize for that. If you have created a devRant-related project and it's not on the community page, please resend it to david@hexicallabs.com (even if you sent it already) so we can make sure it gets added. Sorry about that!
A note on community etiquite regarding voting on content:
We've always believed that one of the most important and awesome experiences on devRant is getting your content noticed and appreciated by others. If you enjoy a piece of content, you should upvote it. If you enjoy 500 pieces of content, you should upvote them all. People really appreciate others enjoying their rants and comments so let them know if you do! If you don't like content, you can downvote it with the relevant reason. What we don't encourage is voting on content that you haven't actually looked at or spamming upvotes in mass for content you're not even actually reading/viewing. While we don't encourage that, it's not explicitly disallowed so we won't impose any penalty for it.
What is strictly prohibited and enforced is using scripts or automated procedures for voting on content. Anyone who is caught doing that will have their account deleted without warning. While very rare, we caught a couple of people doing that this week and both accounts in question were immediately deleted once discovered. To be clear, this is the practice of explicitly using a script or automation to mass vote on content. You will NEVER be banned/deleted for voting on a lot of content manually, even if you vote quickly and on lots of stuff. We just want to make that clear becuase this is not meant to discourage people from voting, it is only regarding votes not placed by humans. So if you're a human voting on content, you have nothing to worry about, we promise!
Please feel free to let us know if you have any questions or feedback on any of this. We love constructive feedback and in the past it has gone a very long way to improving and advancing the devRant community. And as always, thank you to everyone who contributed to the community in any way, we really appreciate it and want to keep making your experienfce better.
Happy ranting,
~David and Tim (Team devRant)
@dfox @trogus
36 -
After listening to two of our senior devs play ping pong with a new member of our team for TWO DAYS!
DevA: "Try this.."
Junior: "Didn't work"
DevB: "Try that .."
Junior: "Still not working"
I ask..
Me:"What is the problem?"
Few ums...uhs..awkward seconds of silence
Junior: "App is really slow. Takes several seconds to launch and searching either crashes or takes a really long time."
DevA: "We've isolated the issue with Entity Framework. That application was written back when we used VS2010. Since that application isn't used very often, no one has had to update it since."
DevB: "Weird part is the app takes up over 3 gigs of ram. Its obviously a caching issue. We might have to open up a ticket with Microsoft."
Me: "Or remove EF and use ADO."
DevB: "That would be way too much work. The app is supposed to be fully deprecated and replaced this year."
Me: "Three of you for the past two days seems like a lot of work. If EF is the problem, you remove EF."
DevA: "The solution is way too complicated for that. There are 5 projects and 3 of those have circular dependencies. Its a mess."
DevB: "No fracking kidding...if it were written correctly the first time. There aren't even any fracking tests."
Me:"Pretty sure there are only two tables involved, maybe 3 stored procedures. A simple CRUD app like this should be fairly straight forward."
DevB: "Can't re-write the application, company won't allow it. A redesign of this magnitute could take months. If we can't fix the LINQ query, we'll going to have the DBAs change the structures to make the application faster. I don't see any other way."
Holy frack...he didn't just say that.
Over my lunch hour, I strip down the WPF application to the basics (too much to write about, but the included projects only had one or two files), and created an integration test for refactoring the data access to use ADO. After all the tests and EF removed, the app starts up instantly and searches are also instant. Didn't click through all the UI, but the basics worked.
Sat with Junior, pointed out my changes (the 'why' behind the 'what') ...and he how he could write unit tests around the ViewModel behavior in the UI (and making any changes to the data access as needed).
Today's standup:
Junior: "Employee app is fixed. Had some help removing Entity Framework and how it starts up fast and and searches are instant. Going to write unit tests today to verify the UI behaivor. I'll be able to deploy the application tomorrow."
DevA: "What?! No way! You did all that yesterday?"
Me: "I removed the Entity Framework over my lunch hour. Like I said, its basic CRUD and mostly in stored procedures. All the data points are covered by integration tests, but didn't have time for the unit tests. It's likely I broke some UI behavior, but the unit tests should catch those."
DevB: "I was going to do that today. I knew taking out Entity Framework wouldn't be a big deal."
Holy fracking frack. You fracking lying SOB. Deeeep breath...ahhh...thanks devRant. Flame thrower event diverted.12 -
Oh, man, I just realized I haven't ranted one of my best stories on here!
So, here goes!
A few years back the company I work for was contacted by an older client regarding a new project.
The guy was now pitching to build the website for the Parliament of another country (not gonna name it, NDAs and stuff), and was planning on outsourcing the development, as he had no team and he was only aiming on taking care of the client service/project management side of the project.
Out of principle (and also to preserve our mental integrity), we have purposely avoided working with government bodies of any kind, in any country, but he was a friend of our CEO and pleaded until we singed on board.
Now, the project itself was way bigger than we expected, as the wanted more of an internal CRM, centralized document archive, event management, internal planning, multiple interfaced, role based access restricted monster of an administration interface, complete with regular user website, also packed with all kind of features, dashboards and so on.
Long story short, a lot bigger than what we were expecting based on the initial brief.
The development period was hell. New features were coming in on a weekly basis. Already implemented functionality was constantly being changed or redefined. No requests we ever made about clarifications and/or materials or information were ever answered on time.
They also somehow bullied the guy that brought us the project into also including the data migration from the old website into the new one we were building and we somehow ended up having to extract meaningful, formatted, sanitized content parsing static HTML files and connecting them to download-able files (almost every page in the old website had files available to download) we needed to also include in a sane way.
Now, don't think the files were simple URL paths we can trace to a folder/file path, oh no!!! The links were some form of hash combination that had to be exploded and tested against some king of database relationship tables that only had hashed indexes relating to other tables, that also only had hashed indexes relating to some other tables that kept a database of the website pages HTML file naming. So what we had to do is identify the files based on a combination of hashed indexes and re-hashed HTML file names that in the end would give us a filename for a real file that we had to then search for inside a list of over 20 folders not related to one another.
So we did this. Created a script that processed the hell out of over 10000 HTML files, database entries and files and re-indexed and re-named all this shit into a meaningful database of sane data and well organized files.
So, with this we were nearing the finish line for the project, which by now exceeded the estimated time by over to times.
We test everything, retest it all again for good measure, pack everything up for deployment, simulate on a staging environment, give the final client access to the staging version, get them to accept that all requirements are met, finish writing the documentation for the codebase, write detailed deployment procedure, include some automation and testing tools also for good measure, recommend production setup, hardware specs, software versions, server side optimization like caching, load balancing and all that we could think would ever be useful, all with more documentation and instructions.
As the project was built on PHP/MySQL (as requested), we recommended a Linux environment for production. Oh, I forgot to tell you that over the development period they kept asking us to also include steps for Windows procedures along with our regular documentation. Was a bit strange, but we added it in there just so we can finish and close the damn project.
So, we send them all the above and go get drunk as fuck in celebration of getting rid of them once and for all...
Next day: hung over, I get to the office, open my laptop and see on new email. I only had the one new mail, so I open it to see what it's about.
Lo and behold! The fuckers over in the other country that called themselves "IT guys", and were the ones making all the changes and additions to our requirements, were not capable enough to follow step by step instructions in order to deploy the project on their servers!!!
[Continues in the comments]25 -
Was lead developer at a small startup, I was hiring and had a budget to add 3 new people to my team to develop a new product for the company.
Some context first and then the rant!
Candidate 1 - Amazing, a dev I worked with before who was under utilized at the previous company. Still a junior, but, she was a quick learner and eager to expand her knowledge, never an issue.
Candidate 2 - Kickass dev with back end skills and extras, he was always eager to work a bit more than what was expected. I use to send him home early to annoy him. haha!
Candidate 3 - Lets call him P.
In the interview he answers every question perfectly, he asks all the right questions and suggests some things I havent even thought of. CTO goes ahead and says we should skip the technical test and just hire the guy, his smart and knows what his talking about, I agree and we hire him. (We where a bit desperate at this stage as well.)
He comes in a week early to pick up his work laptop to get setup before he starts the next week, awesome! This guy is going to be an asset to the company, cant wait to have him join the team - The CTO at this stage is getting ready to leave the company and I will be taking over the division and need someone to take over lead position, he seems like the guys to do it.
The guys starts the next week, he comes in and the laptop we gave him is now a local server for testing and he will be working off his own laptop, no issue, we are small so needed a testing stack, but wasnt really needed since we had procedures in place for this already.
Here is where everything goes wrong!!! First day goes great... Next day he gets in early 6:30am (Nice! NO!), he absolutely smells, no stinks, of weed, not a light smell, the entire fucking office smells of weed! (I have no problem with weed, just dont make it my problem to deal with). I get called by boss and told to sort this out people are complaining! I drive to office and have a meeting with him, he says its all good he understands. (This was Friday).
Monday comes around - Get a call from Boss at 7:30am. Whole office smells like weed, please talk to P again, this cannot happen again. I drive to office again, and he again says it wont happen again, he has some issues with back pain and the weed helps.
Tuesday - Same fucking thing! And now he doesnt want to sign for the laptop("server") that was given to him, and has moved to code in the boardroom, WHERE OUR FUCKING CLIENTS WILL BE VIEWING A DEMO THAT DAY OF THE PRODUCT!! Now that whole room smells like weed, FML!
Wednesday - We send P a formal letter that he is under probation, P calls me to have a meeting. In the meeting he blames me for not understanding "new age" medicine, I ask for his doctors prescription and ask why he didnt tell me this in the interview so I could make arrangements, we dont care if you are stoned, just do good work and be considerate to your co-workers. P cant provide these and keeps ranting, I suggest he takes pain killers, he has none of it only "new age" medicine for him.
Thursday - I ask him to rather "work" from home till we can get this sorted, he comes in for code reviews for 2 weeks. I can clearly see he has no idea how the system works but is trying, I thought I will dive deeper and look at all of his code. Its a mess, nothing makes sense and 50% of it is hard coded (We are building a decentralized API for huge data sets so this makes no sense).
Friday - In code review I confront him about this, he has excuses for everything, I start asking him harder questions about the project and to explain what we are building - he goes quiet and quits on the spot with a shitty apology.
From what I could make out he was really smart when it came to theory but interpreting the theory to actual practice wasnt possible for him, probably would have been easier if he wasnt high all the time.
I hate interview code tests, but learned a valuable lesson that day! Always test for some code knowledge as well even if you hate doing it, ask the right questions and be careful who you hire! You can only bullshit for so long in coding before someone figures out that you are a fraud.15 -
"Don't deploy on Friday" is a public admittance that your company either has no CI/CD pipeline, or that all your devs are retarded rhesus monkeys who only wipe their ass if the product manager wrote it as a spec.
If the saying was: "Don't port your whole API to GraphQL on a Friday", or "Don't switch from MySQL to Postgres on a Friday", I would agree.
But you should be able to do simple deploys all the time.
I deployed on Christmas & New Year's eve. I've deployed code while high on LSD, drunk-peeing 2 liters of beer against a tree after a party. I've deployed code from the hospital while my foot was being stitched up. On average, we deploy our main codebase about 194 times a week.
If you can't trust your deploys, maybe instead of posting stupid memes about not deploying on Fridays, you should fix your testing & QA procedures.45 -
I worked on a greenfield project a couple of years ago. The company had an old solution written in Omnis (heard of it? Yeah, me neither) with an SQL database. My team was to create a completely new web based system... on top of the old database, so the customers could keep their existing stuff.
The dba was an intelligent man, one of the nicest people I've met, and over the course of fifteen years he had made a remarkably terrifying monstrosity of a database. Some years before me they wanted to "future proof" the system and make it "easier to switch to new technologies". So they moved the entire business logic into the database...
I used a tool to create a visualization of said database when we started. It had no views, only tables and sprocs. Look at it! Tables and sprocs are rectangles (well, dots) and any connections are drawn in grey lines. There were no foreign keys, so a tables only visualization only yielded a collection of independent rectangles without a single line.
Now, the stored procedures were bloody MASSIVE. A single procedure that only registered a new interested party and attached them to a property had 2500+ lines and over 150 parameters.
Also, this dba added features and fixed bugs by logging into the respective customers production server and writing SQL.
That database is the stupidest thing I've ever seen a developer do.
34 -
In a user-interface design meeting over a regulatory compliance implementation:
User: “We’ll need to input a city.”
Dev: “Should we validate that city against the state, zip code, and country?”
User: “You are going to make me enter all that data? Ugh…then make it a drop-down. I select the city and the state, zip code auto-fill. I don’t want to make a mistake typing any of that data in.”
Me: “I don’t think a drop-down of every city in the US is feasible.”
Manage: “Why? There cannot be that many. Drop-down is fine. What about the button? We have a few icons to choose from…”
Me: “Uh..yea…there are thousands of cities in the US. Way too much data to for anyone to realistically scroll through”
Dev: “They won’t have to scroll, I’ll filter the list when they start typing.”
Me: “That’s not really the issue and if they are typing the city anyway, just let them type it in.”
User: “What if I mistype Ch1cago? We could inadvertently be out of compliance. The system should never open the company up for federal lawsuits”
Me: “If we’re hiring individuals responsible for legal compliance who can’t spell Chicago, we should be sued by the federal government. We should validate the data the best we can, but it is ultimately your department’s responsibility for data accuracy.”
Manager: “Now now…it’s all our responsibility. What is wrong with a few thousand item drop-down?”
Me: “Um, memory, network bandwidth, database storage, who maintains this list of cities? A lot of time and resources could be saved by simply paying attention.”
Manager: “Memory? Well, memory is cheap. If the workstation needs more memory, we’ll add more”
Dev: “Creating a drop-down is easy and selecting thousands of rows from the database should be fast enough. If the selection is slow, I’ll put it in a thread.”
DBA: “Table won’t be that big and won’t take up much disk space. We’ll need to setup stored procedures, and data import jobs from somewhere to maintain the data. New cities, name changes, ect. ”
Manager: “And if the network starts becoming too slow, we’ll have the Networking dept. open up the valves.”
Me: “Am I the only one seeing all the moving parts we’re introducing just to keep someone from misspelling ‘Chicago’? I’ll admit I’m wrong or maybe I’m not looking at the problem correctly. The point of redesigning the compliance system is to make it simpler, not more complex.”
Manager: “I’m missing the point to why we’re still talking about this. Decision has been made. Drop-down of all cities in the US. Moving on to the button’s icon ..”
Me: “Where is the list of cities going to come from?”
<few seconds of silence>
Dev: “Post office I guess.”
Me: “You guess?…OK…Who is going to manage this list of cities? The manager responsible for regulations?”
User: “Thousands of cities? Oh no …no one is our area has time for that. The system should do it”
Me: “OK, the system. That falls on the DBA. Are you going to be responsible for keeping the data accurate? What is going to audit the cities to make sure the names are properly named and associated with the correct state?”
DBA: “Uh..I don’t know…um…I can set up a job to run every night”
Me: “A job to do what? Validate the data against what?”
Manager: “Do you have a point? No one said it would be easy and all of those details can be answered later.”
Me: “Almost done, and this should be easy. How many cities do we currently have to maintain compliance?”
User: “Maybe 4 or 5. Not many. Regulations are mostly on a state level.”
Me: “When was the last time we created a new city compliance?”
User: “Maybe, 8 years ago. It was before I started.”
Me: “So we’re creating all this complexity for data that, realistically, probably won’t ever change?”
User: “Oh crap, you’re right. What the hell was I thinking…Scratch the drop-down idea. I doubt we’re have a new city regulation anytime soon and how hard is it to type in a city?”
Manager: “OK, are we done wasting everyone’s time on this? No drop-down of cities...next …Let’s get back to the button’s icon …”
Simplicity 1, complexity 0.16 -
TLDR; funny revenge prank from my manager
So yesterday (April 2) I decided to prank my manager about me resigning (I've been working with them for 4 years) I wrote a legit looking resignation letter. (No signature) and at the back page it has a small font "April fools".
I asked my junior to help putting it on my managers desk since I was working from home. When my manager saw it he immediately had a meeting with my technical lead. he didnt notice the april fools at the back so I sent him a short email to look at the back and he laughed.
Come today, I recieved an email from our it team with the subject "POST RESIGNATION PROCEDURES FOR JUNNERS". It has some legit looking contents as well as a hyperlInk for a resignation checklist.
It felt like im having a mini heart attack since I thought it was legit. When I opened the hyperlink I was shocked.
I love my job 😂
6 -
Attended one of the best meetups ever. To give you an idea how awesome it was..
Speaker took the first ~20 minutes introducing himself.
His intro card deck kept referring to himself in the third person (he is the only employee in consulting 'company'). Ex. "Mr. Smith began his humble career .."
The powerpoint presentation began with him clicking each page, not executing the slideshow (ex. pressing F5).
Finally someone asked "Can you make slide bigger?"
S:"You can't read that?..um..sure...I guess .."
Starts fumbling around the zoom ...
Dev: "No, can you start the slideshow?"
S: "I don't know what you mean...there...I zoomed it, is that better? Now I can't see my notes..just sec.."
<fumbles again with the zoom>
Dev: "No, not zoom, start the slide show, press F5"
S: "Oh...you want me to F5 it...OK..."
<he *clicks* the slide show button>
Finally getting into code, trying to get out of powerpoint ...
S: "How do I get out of this fullscreen?.."
Dev: "Hit escape"
S:"No..um.."
<keeps trying to click on 'something'>
S:"I see visual studio, but its not on the big screen... "
<keeps click on 'something', no one is sure whats going on>
Dev: "Hit Escape to stop the slideshow"
<finally hits escape, then able to put Visual Studio on the big screen>
S: "Ahh...there, I figured it out."
Speaker had no end of making wild/random statements like:
".Net Core is the future of Microsoft, if you're using .Net 4.5...forget it, its not even supported anymore."
"When I was at Microsoft Build, I asked them why not put all the required .Net assemblies in one directory. Looks like with .Net Core, they listened to me" (he was serious)
"I don't use SQL Server Mgmt Studio. Its free and it sucks. I use <insert a very expensive SSMS clone>, its great, you guys should check it out", then proceeds to struggle to open a query window to write some SQL.
"When you use .Net Core and EntityFramework, you have to write your own stored procedures. If a developer can't write stored procedures, he shouldn't be in this business."
I was on the edge of my seat, hungry for the next crazy bat-shit thing to come out of his mouth. He did not disappoint. BEST MEETUP EVER!9 -
Being a student this was how my colleagues felt about my code and SQL procedures. They didn’t even let me create a change ticket to present to CAB 😂
11 -
Business logic in the fricking database.
1000+ line SQL stored procedures.
What the actual fuck?! 👿10 -
So many problems did WannaCry uncovered: old systems, incompetent sys admins, insufficient it funds, missing backup procedures, etc9
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One month ago. By email.
Boss: so, this client A has a problem with one of our devices and he believes that it's a bug in the software.
Me: all right then, what happens?
Boss: well, he says that the parameter P in the option menu does not changes the device's behaviour as it is supposed to. I'll forward you his mail. You will find attached an excell file with the results of his test performed with and without the parameter active.
Me: < read mail, read excell file > well, boss, his tests are performed in completely different conditions, how could he expect to infer a meaningful results from this?
Boss: damn, you are right. Send him a test plan and follow up.
Me: < send detailed test plan >
No answer in a week. Then...
Client: hi, there, I made this tests, I attached the excell with the results, can you check the software now?
Me: < read another bullshit filled excell file with none of the suggested test performed >
You know what? Just download the procedures you are using from the device and send them by mail, specifying the software version you are using so we can perform some tests here in the lab and get yo a solution asap.
No response. For a MONTH.
Super Boss: client A still has his problem, how could possibly be that it takes more than A FUCKING MONTH to solve his issue??
Me:...4 -
#2 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Back before we utilized stored procedures (and had an official/credentialed DBA), we used embedded/in-line SQL to fetch data from the database.
var sql = @"Select
FieldsToSelect
From
dbo.Whatever
Where
Id = @ID"
In attempts to fix database performance issues, a developer, T, started putting all the SQL on one line of code (some sql was formatted on 10+ lines to make it readable and easily copy+paste-able with SSMS)
var sql = "Select ... From...Where...etc";
His justification was putting all the SQL on one line make the code run faster.
T: "Fewer lines of code runs faster, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it.
This process took him a few months to complete.
When none of the effort proved to increase performance, T blamed the in-house developed ORM we were using (I wrote it, it was a simple wrapper around ADO.Net with extension methods for creating/setting parameters)
T: "Adding extra layers causes performance problems, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it again.
Removing the ORM, again took several months to complete.
By this time, we hired a real DBA and his focus was removing all the in-line SQL to use stored procedures, creating optimization plans, etc (stuff a real DBA does).
In the planning meetings (I was not apart of), T was selected to lead because of his coding optimization skills.
DBA: "I've been reviewing the execution plans, are all the SQL code on one line? What a mess. That has to be worst thing I ever saw."
T: "Yes, the previous developer, PaperTrail, is incompetent. If the code was written correctly the first time using stored procedures, or even formatted so people could read it, we wouldn't have all these performance problems."
DBA didn't know me (yet) and I didn't know about T's shenanigans (aka = lies) until nearly all the database perf issues were resolved and T received a recognition award for all his hard work (which also equaled a nice raise).5 -
What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.
I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??6 -
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"
Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.
For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.
When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.
Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.3 -
Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.
No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.
So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?
Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️
I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.
PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.
MySQL query:
select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable
inner join
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable
on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;
9 -
**Web Host Rant**
I can't believe how saturated the market is. I also can't believe how many Web hosts do not know a thing about development. You would think you'd want to read up on development practices before going into the business since developers are your customers.
Not to mention that a lot of hosting services are resellers of resellers of resellers. It's to the point where a 15 year old with their mom's credit card can start doing Web hosting. The problem is... they don't know how to answer actually development questions... they won't be in a conference call with you while you do deployments.
It infuriated me to the point where I've started my own hosting company. Completely managed and using the most advanced technologies aimed towards developers. Not only that but an advanced managment package that will teach proper deployment procedures and be there to hold your hand when you do deploy.
Oh and did I mention git will be available to even shared hosting? Oh and did I also mention that we are currently setting up put own git server?36 -
Old story.
Colleague: "I'm gonna update some tables and stored procedures later"
*phone rings two hours later*
Colleague: "Hi! Just wanted to tell you I accidently dropped all our production databases. Have fun recovering them 😊"
Well shit.8 -
So a consulting company was hired to write stored procedures for us. I don't know where they found these guys, but the code was horrible and took ages to run.
We other devs weren't happy at all, but management forbade us to rewrite the code, cause the consultants would've gotten money for nothing then. As a "fix", these guys just reduced batch sizes to a very low amount of rows and management was happy that the procedures were so much faster now and gave their ok.
Fast forward a few weeks (to now). Obviously a reduced batch size means the procedures will run faster, but more often and it will take weeks to load all the data we need.
Result: Management ordered us to rewrite the SPs and we're all torn between laughing and crying.4 -
The last person who might have taken offense at this recently quit, so time for a consequence-free rant. I just want to say...
Fuck absolutely every single one of my teammates who quit this year. Fuck your shitty, undocumented spaghetti code from hell that the rest of us will have to rewrite because it's utterly broken and functions mostly on prayer and luck. Fuck the 1000+ git repos we'll have to rename so we can even begin to tell them apart. Fuck your complete lack of any sort of processes or procedures or standards. Fuck the person who hated tickets and decided we could just have hundreds of people ask us for help on Slack whenever they need it. Fuck the people who quit because we got a new manager who told us we need to support the applications we build. Fuck the person who said "I'm leaving because I want to move forwards instead of backwards" as if fixing bugs in the code YOU WROTE TWO WEEKS AGO is really moving backwards. Fuck the two people who designed their own separate pipelines and then used both without bothering to debate and pick the better one (spoiler: both are completely undocumented and broken as hell).
I hope your various new employers figure out that your strategy of covering shit with gold paint doesn't change the smell.
Now the rest of us have to fix it all, and we're probably going to start by demolishing most of it so we can rebuild it from scratch.12 -
Some of these have been mentioned already but here they are, these things make me be a bit better at programming (at least I think so)
• sleep, I love sleep and I think a good night's sleep can do wonders
• music, music theory which is a language in itself and playing an instrument which teaches hand-eye-coordination and also creates patterns in your head, but certainly teaches us that you need to practice a lot to achieve your goals, that it's hard for beginners but gets a bit easier with time
• solving puzzles and riddles, I've been a huge fan of puzzles from an early age, it is something that teaches us solving problems and creating strategies
• other types of games that are helpful are games where you have to find things in a picture or in an environment, this has trained me a bit on finding nasty bugs in my code or at least syntax errors
• googling: sometimes you find out something that is not really related to your problem, but you remember it nevertheless and later on it can help you with something else
• maths, yes, you read correctly, I'm not a big fan of maths either, but what you learn in maths is that there are certain procedures you're often repeating and that you're always building on your knowledge and expanding it, sometimes solving mathematical problems is fun too ;)
• getting fresh air - self explanatory
• listening to other people's life stories, this helps me generally in life, to know that I'm not the only one struggling with something and so on
And I probably could go on with a lot more things, but I think that's enough for now15 -
Three months into a new job, as a senior developer (12+ years experience) and updated an import application.
With one small update query that didn't account for a possible NULL value for a parameter, so it updated all 65 million records instead of the 15 that belonged to that user.
Took 3 people and 4 days to put all the data back to it's original state.
Went right back to using the old version of the apllication, still running 2 years later. It's spaghetti code from hell with sql jobs and multiple stored procedures creating dynamic SQL, but I'm never touching it again.5 -
Today I come across something interresting in SQL Server.
I was optimizing a report query and in the SSMS windows runned in 10 seconds for 3000 rows.
Put it to a stored procedure took me 5 minutes for getting 100 rows.
I was like WTF?
After some research I found out that the problem was that I was using the Stored Procedure parameters in the query.
Created local variables for the parameters and poof... 10 seconds again.
So if you are creating Stored Procedures in SQL Server DO NOT USE THE PARAMETERS FROM THE PROCEDURE. CREATE LOCAL VARIABLES.5 -
I was supporting a legacy CRM app which front end used Visual Basic 6 and almost the entire business logic was written on SQL store procedures.
A "feature" of the product was the open code, anyone with admin access could modify forms, code and store procedures.
We also sold "official" (and expensive) consulting services to modify the code.
A long time customer owned this thing and it was heavily customized. They had hired us to change something, hired a third party to make other changes and decided to modify some stuff themselves because, why not?
Suddenly they came to product support asking to fix a bug. The problem happened on a non customized form.
After reviewing, I realized the form used several of the modified store procedures in the business layer. I tried saying we don't support custom code but my boss was being pushed and said "look into it"
All 3 parties denied responsibility and said their changes were NOT the problem (of course). Neither of them commented or documented their changes.
The customer started to threaten to sue us.
I spent 5 full days following every field on the form through the nested and recurrent SQL store procedures and turns out it was a very simple error. A failed insert statement.
I was puzzled of why the thing didn't throw any error even while debugging. Turns out in SQL 2003 (this was a while ago) someone used a print line statement and SQL stopped throwing errors to the console. I can only assume "printing" in SQL empties the buffered error which would be shown in the console.
I removed the print statement and the error showed up, we fixed it and didn't get sued
:)4 -
Employee: we have 15 years of Stored Procedures
Boss: just because we been doing it for 15 years doesn’t mean we should continue.
Boss coming in clutch.3 -
This happened when I got my first IT support job. Naturally as a 1st line support you get to do the fun and not at all tedious thing of resetting passwords.
So I take a ticket from one of our HR people where they say that 3 new employees can't access a certain system.
Without going into too much detail here I reset the passwords according to our procedures and be done with it.
But at the end of the day it turns out that one of those 3 new employees was the new CEO, and he was known to be not the most pleasant of people to work with.
So ofc there was a chain of emails with the words "How can someone not know who I am" in there somewhere.
Had a nice stressful weekend wondering if I'll still have a job after Monday and we had a whole new password reset procedure created because of that.2 -
OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
Basic OOPS Question -
A unit of computer information that contains data as well as all the procedures or operations is called:
(1) A method.
(2) Encapsulation.
(3) An object.
(4) An OOP
(5) None of these
This question is a bit confusing to me.. what do you guys think? 🙄19 -
useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.2 -
One of the most infuriating ideas in software development culture is that you can build maintainable applications without a strictly enforced type system and structured data.
Sure, it's more fun to wack around a dynamically typed system until it works or to write a major application with mutable datastructures... It's a least fun until a few years in and you have to debug an unexpected overwrite or a inconsistent use of an object property or whatever.
Anyone who writes maintainable code eventually figures out that you need rules and procedures, the issue with JavaScript, python, ruby, lisp, etc developers is that they think it's us developers that needs to enforce these rules instead of the compiler (which is infinitely better at it).48 -
Today is my birthday and my company as a present will make me work on disgusting legacy code, stored procedures, impossible to debug and convoluted as fuck.
And everything needs to be released yesterday...
Happy birthday motherfucker.1 -
What a silly end of the week. Have to continue developing at a project a student started at our company. Today I had a phone conference with the client. They told me there where missing several data. At first I thought it is only a frontend issue but now I know it is a database issue so I have to work through several database procedures which are all undocumented and the student who build those is not reachable. Business integration ftw
-
A bit of backstory...
I have been the sole dev at my organization for awhile now (other two left for other jobs), so I have been maintaing and writing new code to support the business.
Our company was recently acquired by a larger entity and it has been very strange so far.
1. It has taken 5 weeks to acquire local admin rights on my own machine (I work remote) as well as a visual studio license.
2. We have known for a few weeks now we are getting a jr dev who will need the SAME procedures done on his machine/account and it has been two weeks now and nothing has been done. (Tickets have been put it - the issues have been escalated etc etc)
3. All of our code from our old company is in Azure Devops (which is connected to Azure AD) for some reason I haven't been able to add an external account (for my new account and org) to move the code elsewhere. I don't have the authority (I don't think) to place all of our code in a new location (GitHub,GitLab, self hosted solutions, etc)
4. All of our production VMs are billed through our old org located in Azure, so eventually that bill will stop being paid since we transitioned - I've brought this up to my manager (more non technical) who wasn't terribly worried about it.
5. I'm feeling slightly unfulfilled in this position. Earlier in my time here it was new and exciting, but there isn't much direction, not many goals, or interesting problems to solve.
Just wanted to express some issues that had been going on. Feel free to add ant feedback of suggestions 😄3 -
I'm feeling like writing this down...
So today I got told off by my boss. Why? Because my job bores me.
My current title, "webmaster", is quite similar to "plumber" where I work. I fix holes on our websites, and I tell "qualified" people (external providers) how a project should be made. Nothing exciting, nothing creative, boring.
So I got told off today for being "laid-back" in a newsletter project (GDPR, looking at you) and not being thorough in my procedures of testing and configuration. Fair enough, I didn't care and I admitted it. It's a boring drag-and-drop done in literally 5 minutes, there's no added brain-value here. Plus I got told off by my IT Manager because our Exchange server would not let me receive test emails. Still doesn't work after a day. Yay.
Then she said "we're doing exciting things here, it's not always the case anywhere else you'd work". And I'm like: "really? I love writing code, seeing things coming alive, investigating why things don't run smoothly, writing efficient code (both in performance and in readability)". I hear many friend devs telling me they're doing that and what they do during their "dev-day"... All I'm doing here is "maintenance" (a.k.a boring) stuff that apparently is "exciting". Adding a <script> to handle google tag manager is hell fun, going through compiled CSS and change color values is also thrilling, finding out if a PDF handler application can handle PDF files, re-plugging a computer monitor to make it work...
I think she meant that I'm not at my place here.
Didn't want to tell her that I have no motivation in doing things I don't enjoy making, i.e, my job.
Good thing I have an interview in two weeks2 -
Development world is always changing and evolving... It changes before you know it...
So, having the ability to quickly adapt and learn is a must for any Developer... And, this is the one thing that I am sure that everyone knows about or heard about..
But, my advice is quite simple:
"Don't rush into participating in a race, just because everyone else is doing so.
The trick is not to move quickly.. But, to move one step at a time, at the pace in which you are at your most comfortable...
It might seem counterintuitive and a contradiction to what I have said earlier.. But, I hope that by the end of this rant, you will be able to understand my perspective..
This advice is especially useful for people still finding and searching for their place in our world..
Charles Darwin, very wisely understood the philosophy behind 'Survival of the Fittest'..
By 'fittest', he didn't refer to the ones considered to be the strongest or having the most intelligence, but the ones that had mastered the ability to adapt to changing circumstances..
Adaptability is important, but not at the cost of understanding and learning about the fundamental pillars on which this world stands..
Don't rush because when you run, your visions starts to become more narrow.. In your pursuit to reach your goal, you lose the ability to look at the macro details surrounding your goal..
Learning new technology is important, but that doesn't mean that you don't learn about various approaches or how to design a more logical or efficient solution...
Refactoring the code, developing good Testing procedures, learning to interact with your fellow developers are as crucial as learning about the changing trends...
Even, in this ever-changing world, understand that some things will always remain the same, like the adrenaline that course through your veins when you finally solve a long-standing problem...
Curiosity, Discovery and Exploration are the key pillars and hence, when we rush in, we might stop exploring and lose curiosity to discover new and exciting ways to reach our goal..
Or, we might also end up losing the drive that grips us and motivates to continue moving forward inspite of the challenges standing between us and our destination..
And, believe me, once you lose this quality, you might still succeed but the contentment and the satisfaction that you feel will be lost..
And, then, you will remain a developer only through your designation... And, that in my personal opinion, the worst punishment.3 -
!personal
So, I was diagnosed with congenital nystagmus at an early fucking age. This is complicated for people who've never heard of it before to comprehend, until they notice the eyes of the person in question. Think of it this way: I lack the biological form of optical image stabilization. Because of nystagmus, I can't fucking drive.
Now, let me tell you, it really fucking sucks. I've never had a girlfriend, never been able to get a job, basically never been able to do the type of shit most of you can already fucking do. Pile that on with college, where I don't really fucking know anybody, and it's really fucking easy to see why I've had depression and nearly fucked my GPA over last semester (2.08, yeah it's embarrassing but fuck it).
That out of the way, nystagmus is rare. So rare that any surgeries to fix it aren't guaranteed to fix the problem, and are only marginally better. I have strong skepticism for any optometrist who acts like they perform this surgery every day, because the numbers simply don't back them up. If there's so few who have this issue, then the amount of operations and opportunities to do them are fucking slim.
Today, my mom came over to Indiana from Ohio, and took me to the local Cheddar's (do other countries have those??). We sit down, and she wanted to re-hash this surgery idea. I have made the statement before that these are the only two eyes that I will ever have, and there's no guaranteed ROI on any procedures, and is probably going to fuck me over if shit hits the fan.
Then she tells me there's this doctor in Maryland. I might be geographically challenged (lol), but I'm pretty sure that's over on the east coast. It's forever from here, we'd probably have to take an airliner.
This doctor made some pretty bold fucking claims. Not only was it possible he could fix the nystagmus, but he could help me use a special form of glasses that would enable me to learn to drive. Knowing that R&D on nystagmus was sketchy because of the aforementioned conditions, I had to tell her that I still don't know how I feel about it. Also, if this doctor moves from Maryland to any of the other states, would he still be allowed to do these things?
I told her I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not sure it's worth the money if we follow through and come to find out it's not enough, and I still can't drive. She acts like this stuff is dead simple. I don't think it is. You have perceived benefits, but there have to be caveats. This would be a major change, and I don't know how I feel about following through with it.9 -
How do you deal with massively poorly-performing and unknowledgeable teams?
For background, I've been in my current position for ~7 months now.
A new manager joined recently and he's just floored at the reality of the team.
I mean, a large portion of my interview (and his) was the existing manager explicitly warning about how much of a dumpster fire everything is.
But still, nothing prepares you for it.
We're talking things like:
- Sequential integer user ids that are passable as query string args to anonymous endpoints, thus enabling you to view the data read by that view *for any* user.
- God-like lookup tables that all manner of pieces of data are shoved into as a catch-all
- A continued focus on unnecessary stored procedures despite us being a Linq shop
- Complete lack of awareness of SOLID principles
- Actual FUD around the simplest of things like interfaces, inversion of control, dependency injection (and the list goes on).
I've been elevated into this sort of quasi-senior position (in all but title - and salary), and I find myself having to navigate a daily struggle of trying to not have an absolute shit fit every time I have to dive into the depths of some of the code.
Compounded onto that is the knowledge that most of the team are on comparable salaries (within a couple thousand) of mine, purely owing to length of service.
We're talking salaries for mid-senior level devs, for people that at market rates would command no more (if even close) than a junior rate.
The problem is that I'm aware of how bad things are, but then somehow I'm constantly surprised and confronted with ever more insane levels of shitfuckery, and... I'm getting tired.
It's been 7 months, I love the job, I'm working in the charity sector and I love the fact that the things I'm working on are directly improving people's lives, rather than lining some fintech fatcat's pockets.
I guess this was more a rant than a question, and also long time no see...
So my question is this:
- How do you deal with this?
- How do you go on without just dying inside every single day?8 -
Love how DoD work requires sec+ certification but as you are learning the material you realize they don’t follow any procedures or practices.6
-
Had to ring the UK tax office, have to pay a sizeable amount by 31st Jan, but I have spent any savings on essential living based shit. I was dreading the call, but best to do it before 31st or you get an instant £100 fine. Well I was totally shocked to find a really lovely lady on the other end, she was most helpful and not like the cunt I got a few years back. It just goes to show that two people doing the same job with the same procedures and outcomes, 1 can be a complete cunt and the other kind and compassionate. Moral, there’s no need to be a cunt.
-
Dear past me,
never ever offer a customer to rename their databases during migration.
Renaming databases in mysql is evil and will cost you more time than you think,
sincerely, my present me.
Ugh, stupid triggers and procedures >_>1 -
a very polite recruiter in linkedin after our connection asked me why i choose this kind of career. I answered this and i hope i did not ranted a lot :)
i was trying to figure out what profession would make me more happy than others. I was always felt comfortable with computers, i was installing cracked games, exploring folders to paste the cracks etc. later in school when i learned the first algorithms like bubblesort i was knowing that i liked it. I also like working in silence while searching for solutions. That is the first part, the second is that i made a search about what industries would give me a safer future and international opportunities without having to be stuck in my country only. By working and getting more experience i felt in love with my job and trying to learn everything i missed and give to my boss or customers professional results with quality. I like it as a lifestyle, it combines a magic feeling of spells with the logical procedures of science. So why not? it combines all my loves together: creative thinking, technology, mental work, internet, music at the workflow, job demand, opportunities, and money! I hope i helped you my friend i am at your service for every question you have :)11 -
Corporations... huge, old, monolithic
We want you to automate but will do everything we can to prevent you from getting resources to do it. Restricting policies, decisions by managers on "what they do not want". No procedures on how to achieve the result within policies. Half the business lives in a gray zone and sea of policy exceptions.
We finally decided to get at least Azure subscription instead of trying to develop similar framework internally, but wE DoNT WANt YOu to dEPlOY thERE As WE Don't cOnSIDEr it sAfE ENough.
Like pissing against wind.5 -
Working for a company with solid procedures really makes me appreciate how important they are. Knowing someone will be scanning through my pull request made me *really think* about appropriate layout and commenting. Before I could submit any old code and the other programmer wouldn't give a monkeys.
I guess that's a poor reflection on my performance but, I'm working on it -
Should have kept a copy of my best code off of my work computer. That way it wouldn't have been confiscated along with the computer during the layoffs. [sniff] I had some beautiful Stored Procedures I can't satisfactorily remember how to reproduce. 😅4
-
Story Time!
Tittle: About Larry.
Fun Game: Tell me if / when in this story you know the plot twist.
Setting: Years ago, non coding job.
I work with Larry a lot, Larry works remote. In technical terms Larry is senior to me and I escalate some technical issues that get assigned to Larry. I've never met Larry in person.
Larry can be hard to work with, but he's plenty good at his job and I don't mind his prickly side. Sometimes it takes telling Larry something a few times before it sinks it, but that's not a big deal. Sometimes it seems like Larry doesn't remember his cases entirely, but he has a lot of cases. Also Larry has good reason for how he works considering the land of scubs who usually escalate to him without any thought / effort.
Larry's escalation team is short staffed and they're trying to hire folks, but that's been like that forever.
So one day I get an email that Larry is going to be out of the office for a few weeks. Nothing unusual there.
My current case that I share with Larry sort of floats in limbo for a while. The customer is kinda slow to respond anyhow and there's nothing that I need Larry for.
Finally I get automated notice that my case has had a new escalation engineer. Laura. Laura is much more positive and happy compared to Larry. Understandably Laura isn't up to date on the case so we go back and forth with some emails and notes in the case.
The case is moving along just fine, we're making progress, but it's slow because of the customer's testing procedures. Then we hit a point where this customer's management pushes on sales for a solution (this customer's management is known for doing this rando like for no reason).
Down the management chain it goes and everyone wants a big conference call to get everyone up to date / discuss next steps (no big deal).
Now I really don't want to do this with Laura and throw her into the deep end with this customer, she doesn't have the background and I'd rather do this call with Larry & Me & Laura. Also according to the original email Larry is due back soon.
I start writing an email to Laura about "Let's try to schedule this for when Larry gets back."
Then I stop ... I don't really know why I stop but when it is a "political case" I want some buy in on next steps from management so I go talk to my manager.
-Plot Twist Incoming-
Long story short, my manager says:
"Laura IS Larry..."
O
M
G
I had no idea. Nobody told me, nobody told ANYBODY, (except a couple managers).
Back up a few months Larry apparently went to his managers and told them he was going to transition, surgery and all, in a few months.
Managers wondering how to address this went to HR and some new hire very young to be a manager HR manager drone logiced out in her bonkers head that "Well it shouldn't matter so don't tell anyone."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!??
Thank god I didn't send that email...
I did send an email to Laura explaining that I had no idea and hoped I didn't say anything stupid. She was very nice about it and said it was all good.
After that incident made the management rounds (management was already fuming about being told not to tell anyone) things came to another critical point.
Laura was going to visit the company HQ. Laura had been there before, as Larry, everyone knew her as Larry... nobody (outside some managers) knew Laura was Larry either. With nobody knowing shit Laura was going to walk in and meet everyone ...
One manager at HQ finally rebelled and held a meeting to tell his people. He didn't want Laura walking in and someone confused, thinking it was a joke or something horrible happening.
HR found out and went ballistic. They were on a rampage about this other manager, they wanted to interview me about how I found out. I told HR to schedule their meeting through my manager (I knew they didn't want my manager to know they were sniffing around).
Finally the VP in our department called up the HR head and asked WTF was going on / kind of idiots they had over there (word has it legal and the CEO were on the call too).
HR had a change in leadership and then a couple weeks later there were department wide meetings on how to handle such situations and etc.21 -
The difference between procedures and functions never troubled me. Until it did and now I'm just thinking it for the past hour! Here it is: Procedures perform some logic while functions (like in math) return a value. Daaaamn!4
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How many of you have started a job and ended up doing something totally different, and how did deal with it?
I was hired to be an SQL Developer, writing reports, views, stored procedures etc, but knew I would be asked to do some work on some internal c# apps.
Roll on almost 2 years and I'm pretty much a DBA in all but name, and the C# app I was supposed to be doing a little work on is now mine, so as well as being the sole programmer, I'm also the product owner, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd line support.
All of this and I've not even had a change in title, let alone a pay rise that reflect the new roles and responsibilities I've taken on.8 -
teach meta language concepts: what is an operator, literal, constant, statment, control flow. the recursive nature of staments. then go into objects/methods vs structs/procedures. then teach some java. then go into reflection concepts. then use reflection for something simple. then teach a bit of perl. then let them build something in python. Anyone who can pass through that will know how to Program in whatever you give him/her.
I wish my teachers talked about the meta programing, instead on focusing on the minutia. -
This hurricane fucking sucks. My power was out nearly all day today. It went out at 6ish this morning, and didn't come back on until 4-5ish in the afternoon.
I was coding on my laptop, trying to reproduce the sampling procedures we talked about in AP stats (hoping that I'd better understand the material if I could connect it to stuff I was doing in another class), and there was a piece of syntax I had forgotten over the summer, and it irritated the hell out of me that I couldn't just Google the answer.
Eventually I just drove to a Starbucks and hung out there for about an hour or two till the power came back on. I was terrified the power would just go out again before I got back home.3 -
Team Leader(TL): So you finished the sql scripts and stored procedures?
Me: Yep!
TL: And properly formatting the front end to look exactly how we want it.
Me: Yep
TL: Well we waiting on feedback from the boss so i guess you'll have to do the documentation.
Me: I hate documentation, please give me anything else
TL: It's not a lot dude, you can do it.
Me: Didn't one of the intern's and the database admin do it already?
TL: Yes. but you can take both of them and make one complete one.
Me: *You just don't want me to work on my own things you FUCKER* Fine, but don't expect it to be done this week.
TL: It's Tuesday, why not.
Me: Because i hate dcumentation
I FUCKEN. hate! documentation.4 -
Would I be going too far out of my role as a developer if I write a coding standards/development practices/procedures guideline for the whole team dictating a set of rules everyone needs to follow? Basically telling people how they should be doing everything.
I'm senior developer but not the only one and also the youngest. No one has to follow it but I would plan to present it to my boss and his boss. I feel like I would come across (if not already) like "I'm better/more experienced than all of you, so you should do what I say because the way things are now isn't working and will only get worse".5 -
When older family members have entire notebooks dedicated to logging obscure, easily-hackable passwords, but then download any app in the world that promises to "make your phone run like new!" (by using 30MB more RAM on God-knows how much malware)
We aren't doing a good job of educating people if anyone we know can fall victim to those kinds of hackneyed procedures and snake-oil apps. It's almost painful to watch, and have to be the bad guy by telling someone dear to me they've been making things worse for themselves because of a seemingly harmless app that they were almost proud of.3 -
Day 1 of migrating the entire companies infrastructure to GCE...
Thought It wouldn't be too difficult migrating the db until I found out the 480 triggers and 42 stored procedures are a no go.
I mean I know they right and the db layer should be about storage only - I even remember thinking "This is a bad idea" when I wrote most of them but fuuuck it's going to take weeks to refactor this. :'( -
We've got a big legacy app which we have to rewrite. The current client applications are only working on XP(!). We have to move the clients to the browser so we can finally get rid of all XP vm-s. The db schema is complex but still 1000+ stored procedures and functions and about a hundred tables with 13 years of data.
So I ask the guy responsible for maintaining the DB code. (he is ~25 years older than me)
me - Where is the source of the database. Which project?
he - Where would it be? It's in the db.
me - So we've got a huge db without VCS, upgrade/downgrade scripts, etc?
he - Yes. I don't get why young developers always want to use shiny new tech like git just because it is cool. It has nothing that an external usb backup drive can't do.
me - VCS has been around since the early 1980's...
he - If you really want, you can put it under git or whatever, so you can sleep better, but I still think it is stupid and a waste of time.
I get that it's hard to keep up, but getting personal... -
When you spent two hours of debugging because that one variable somehow has the value of NULL which can't be because it is initialized with another value and you realized you mistyped the name on one of your procedures, so VBA automatically instantiates a new variable and initializes it
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Developed an update to our database procedures and tested it with local copy. After a few days everything was ready. Opened our server and started the update. After a couple of rows an error occurred. Turns out our production db is older version and does not support some syntax I used. It became a bit longer day at work...
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I think I may be someone's wk101soon given how things are going for me.
So I get shipped over to the new offices to do some work. Initially, I was supposed to be updating SQL stored procedures.
That I can handle, well my task is now to build the skeleton project for a web API in core 2.0 using domain driven design and onion architecture which the rest of the team will use.
Okay, I don't have any experience in any of that at all. And god bless the team lead explaining some stuff to me. But it's going to take more than a 20-minute chat here and there for this stuff to sink in.
And being told just to build it how you think it should be isn't great advice when I'm trying to figure out how the systems work.
Every other API project I look at is structured completely different from one another so looking for patterns has failed.
I'm fucking stressed out every bit of information I'm getting on whats potentially happening with my job im getting second hand from people. Because I can't access my emails while off-site something I'm repeatedly flagging.
Every job advert is painstakingly making it clear how out of date my skill set is (or lack of). Evidently, I've been way too lax, and this has been a kick in the bollocks I'm not likely to forget.
If we're being evaluated on performance to see who they'll keep, then I've failed at the first hurdle.
Life lesson for those in education, don't be this knob head here and get comfortable when you land a job. Just knowing about the tech that's commonly used in your field does jack all study it.
Not a structured/meaningful rant and shits probably not as bad as I see it. I've only chewed through one fingernail after all.1 -
I wish that my previous company gets investigated. They probably got more violations if they are investigated. Here are a few examples:
The company is in the telecom business and they wanted to create AI summaries of their phone calls. So they used real private calls of their clients as test data without their knowledge & consent.
The CEO also made fun of someone handwritten CV on LinkedIn. Sure, he blurred out the obvious data but shit like certificates, past history & rough location was still present. It was not be hard to find who it was.
The 2FA of some IT services was still on the ex-CTOs private phone (now he is a consultant 1x a week)
One of their engineers moved back to Russia and has access to sensitive data. (aka call recording of insurances, banking, fire departments, ...)
Offering users to write a public review of the company for a discount if the review is positive. The "paid review" is not mentioned.
The reviews of their new feature are done by 'external' people but they all benefit from the companies success. The review is written from their own company but it was written by the external design company (CEOs wife under her own company), marketing consultant (under his own company).
They did fire an employee illegally (as in did not follow the legal procedures, the new COO thought she was a consultant, she was in fact not so she had more protections)
They did fire an employee for untrue reasons and waiting till he was on holiday & abroad (dick move but legal I think)
They did spy through the security cameras and made up a reason to fire someone. Company offered free soda during that time, employee did not like the offered soda and filled it with a diet-variant on their own dime. He then took his own bought diet-soda back home (not all) and got fired for stealing. (or idk, it might have been ice tea or fanta)
They did not report that an employee sold company data but he was let go.
They run cookies on their website but has no clause for cookie-consent.
Their features that they are promoting & selling is not working like expected
They lie about their server uptime or heavily manipulate it.
They sell a feature that is no longer supported and broke a few updates ago.
They are offering a product as a fix that is simply not longer supported by the development team
They have fired consultants and then refuse to pay their last month salary or only pays it partially. Happened as far as i know, 4 times (no proof).
Everyone had access to the full password vault including the login credentials for business routers and the credit card info of the CEO, CFO, CTO. It took me multiple times to report it to the IT admin for mine to be restricted.
Every new dev has access to production data within a few weeks or direct database access
Any person who has access to the admin-portal can spoof phonenumbers in a few clicks.
A colleague is blacklisted at the police portal for past crimes where they have to fulfil police orders. He did them pretending to be a different employee who was approved. Also, they do not keep track of the data needed to fill in the yearly report (idk why the company has to them but the police does not do it).
They forgot to implement a warning (legally needed) before someone hits their data limit. those people cannot be billed. Someone was watching 4k movies in Signapore and costed the company tens of thousands of Euro.
If I think of more, I'll add it comments lol10 -
Honestly, who could have thought at some point of his life that having all the business logic on the database with 20k stored procedures was a good idea?7
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I begin by just writing my ideas and them attempting to roughly image their execution in my head, and then start to write the code. I found this method to pose the smallest amount of holdups and issues. Of course, you might have to rethink some procedures but it mostly works.
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Have you ever gotten a job working on a project you generally understand conceptually, and on day one, with zero knowledge of the specifics, you are now in charge of said project with no one to ask about the standards or procedures?
Then again, why would you ask anyone, after all, you're in charge.5 -
we don't really need data types. By default, everything should be string. When you do addition, when the string has nothing but digits, commas and periods, they should be parsed added as numbers. Else, they should be concatenated. If that string-number formatting doesn't match any conventional formatting of any locale, it's a string. Same number-inferring behavior should be implemented when comparing things. There should be no type casting because there is just one type, so every comparison is type-exact. "true" and "false" are special strings that won't throw an error during comparison. Comparing two strings using less, more, less than or equal and more than or equal always throw an error.
Dates are ISO strings. Every other thing is not a date.
We basically sieve the data starting with the strictest conditions down to more forgiving conditions, then down to no conditions at all where it will be interpreted as just string. ISO date requires a very specific formatting, so we should check that first. Then, let's check for a formatted number. Then, a boolean. If nothing clicked, it's a string.
Oh, and every string is automatically trimmed, so it can't start or end with any kind of space.
No classes, no procedures, no constants, no switch operator. Also, no methods, just a lot of helper functions.
Performance will be lacking compared to languages with static types, but performance is not a priority here — this is the language for code monkeys and their AI counterparts. It should only be used for making trivial client-server prototype apps that could've been replaced by Excel if only people knew how to use it, at passable quality, that work reasonably fast on modern hardware.
Those apps will be deprecated because the company went out of business/because the project was proven to not be financially viable in several months anyway.
UI should be rendered not using a webview, but using a lightweight cross-platform UI engine written in a proper language like C++. There should be no semantic tags — every UI element acts like a div would. Everything is measured in pixels and milliseconds. All colors are #rrggbbaa. All vector graphics are SVG, all raster graphics are AVIF. All sounds are Opus. All videos are AV1. All UIs are reactive, Vue style, e.g. you change a variable and the UI updates itself in the right way every time.
Add some junior devs paired with GPT-4.5 or any super-expensive LLM, sprinkle with some Extreme Go-Horse management style (https://hackernoon.com/you-might-be...), and boom, we recreated Zergs but in the tech space. Let's solve software by brute force.10 -
I'm a workaholic.
My boss literally told me I've only used 1 PTO day this year and with only 2 weeks left I HAVE to take at least the rest of this week off.
Guess... I'm getting a really long weekend, took tomorrow thru Friday off, Monday and Tuesday are holiday, so only 3 days left of the year after 5 today.
Not taking the last 3 days next week because I don't trust my one co-worker to do end of month/year procedures without me there to verify they didn't fuck up anything.
Now I just have to get through that time stressing about things I'm responsible for breaking while I'm not there.5 -
Any professional pentesters or someone working in cybersecurity as a profession? I need some advice. The company I intern with right now wants me to test their web applications for security (they really don't care so much about security). I just wanted to know is there a standard set of procedures or a checklist that is usually followed? I know automated testing is not all that effective against web applications but what are the steps you usually take?
As of now, I have run tests and am now performing a code review but it's in PHP and I'm not really good with it. I'd like to know what more is done as a standard please.2 -
I like to say programming is the art of "creative logic". Much like architecture has an aesthetic to consider or cooking has well-defined procedures with greatly varying inputs and outputs, there has to be room for creativity, be it at the planning stage or during wild improvisation sessions.
Without that creative aspect, software development sounds dreary to me.
Where science meets art is where the magic happens.
If only the artists shared this view and actually took an interest in the technical side...1 -
Junior Software Developer Job( $37k-$42k USD)
-1 year experience
- J2EE, Javascript, HTML, XML, SQL
- object oriented design and implementation
- management of relational and non-relational such as Oracle, PostGreSQL and Cassandra
- Lifecycle and Agile methods
- Familiarity with the Eclipse development environment and with tools such as Hibernate, JMS, ,TomCat/Gemini/Jetty, OSGi.
• UNIX skills, including Bash or other scripting language
• Experience installing and configuring software packages
• ActiveMQ troubleshooting/knowledge
• Experience in scientific data processing and analytical science in general
• Automated testing tools and procedures, including JUnit testing, Selenium, etc.
• Experience in interfacing with scientific instrumentation, potentially over IP networks
• Familiarity with modern web development, user interface and other ever-evolving front-end
technologies, such as React, TypeScript, Material, Jest, etc.
I am betting they don't get many people applying.8 -
Learnt a lesson today:
Never try out new hotkeys in a SQL query editor window.
Or if you do, at least make sure it's not connected to anything important :)
I was trying out new hotkeys and accidentally executed a SQL deploy script to rename something in multiple stored procedures in a large system.
Thankfully - so I saw after my heart stopped - it was only our QA db so not too bad, just a couple of devs set back.
Who woulda thought ctrl-l would execute :O -
fucking VS2017,
It takes like 1 minute to refresh stored procedures in the server explorer, It is so annoying especially if you need to constantly add new stored procedures.
and dont get me start on DBML at least once a week that shit fucking decided to crash VS2017.
Maybe I need to download more ram 🤔🤔🤔5 -
YGGG IM SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.
Register allocation pretty much done: you can still juggle registers manually if you want, but you don't have to -- declaring a variable and using it as operand instead of a register is implicitly telling the compiler to handle it for you.
Whats more, spilling to stack is done automatically, keeping track of whether a value is or isnt required so its only done when absolutely necessary. And variables are handled differently depending on wheter they are input, output, or both, so we can eliminate making redundant copies in some cases.
Its a thing of beauty, defenestrating the difficult aspects of assembly, while still writting pure assembly... well, for the most part. There's some C-like sugar that's just too convenient for me not to include.
(x,y)=*F arg0,argN. This piece of shit is the distillation of my very profound meditations on fuckerous thoughtlessness, so let me break it down:
- (x,y)=; fuck you in the ass I can return as many values as I want. You dont need the parens if theres only a single return.
- *F args; some may have thought I was dereferencing a pointer but Im calling F and passing it arguments; the asterisk indicates I want to jump to a symbol rather than read its address or the value stored at it.
To the virtual machine, this is three instructions:
- bind x,y; overwrite these values with Fs output.
- pass arg0,argN; setup the damn parameters.
- call F; you know this one, so perform the deed.
Everything else is generated; these are macro-instructions with some logic attached to them, and theres a step in the compilation dedicated to walking the stupid program for the seventh fucking time that handles the expansion and optimization.
So whats left? Ah shit, classes. Disinfect and open wide mother fucker we're doing OOP without a condom.
Now, obviously, we have to sanitize a lot of what OOP stands for. In general, you can consider every textbook shit, so much so that wiping your ass with their pages would defeat the point of wiping your ass.
Lets say, for simplicity, that every program is a data transform (see: computation) broken down into a multitude of classes that represent the layout and quantity of memory required at different steps, plus the operations performed on said memory.
That is most if not all of the paradigm's merit right there. Everything else that I thought to have found use for was in the end nothing but deranged ways of deriving one thing from another. Telling you I want the size of this worth of space is such an act, and is indeed useful; telling you I want to utilize this as base for that when this itself cannot be directly used is theoretically a poorly worded and overly verbose bitch slap.
Plainly, fucktoys and abstract classes are a mistake, autocorrect these fucking misspelled testicle sax.
None of the remaining deeper lore, or rather sleazy fanfiction, that forms the larger cannon of object oriented as taught by my colleagues makes sufficient sense at this level for me to even consider dumping a steaming fat shit down it's execrable throat, and so I will spare you bearing witness to the inevitable forced coprophagia.
This is what we're left with: structures and procedures. Easy as gobblin pie.
Any F taking pointer-to-struc as it's first argument that is declared within the same namespace can be fetched by an instance of the structure in question. The sugar: x ->* F arg0,argN
Where ->* stands for failed abortion. No, the arrow by itself means fetch me a symbol; the asterisk wants to jump there. So fetch and do. We make it work for all symbols just to be dicks about it.
Anyway, invoking anything like this passes the caller to the callee. If you use the name of the struc rather than a pointer, you get it as a string. Because fuck you, I like Perl.
What else is there to discuss? My mind seems blank, but it is truly blank.
Allocating multitudes of structures, with same or different types, should be done in one go whenever possible. I know I want to do this, and I know whichever way we settle for has to be intuitive, else this entire project has failed.
So my version of new always takes an argument, dont you just love slurping diarrhea. If zero it means call malloc for this one, else it's an address where this instance is to be stored.
What's the big idea? Only the topmost instance in any given hierarchy will trigger an allocation. My compiler could easily perform this analysis because I am unemployed.
So where do you want it on the stack on the heap yyou want to reutilize any piece of ass, where buttocks stands for some adequately sized space in memory -- entirely within the realm of possibility. Furthermore, evicting shit you don't need and replacing it with something else.
Let me tell you, I will give your every object an allocator if you give the chance. I will -- nevermind. This is not for your orifices, porridges, oranges, morpheousness.
Walruses.8 -
Created a CRM for the business which integrated every database in the network, SQL Server, Postgres, Firebird and MySql types. Evolved to writing a series of procedures which replaced a staff members full job though..
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I connected oven to wifi using application on my phone but application on my phone didn’t connected to oven.
So now I need to disconnect oven from wifi to connect oven to my phone.
I connected dishwasher last month, first I needed to take a photo of qr code and send it to my laptop to be able to scan it cause it was to small and dishwasher app didn’t recognized it. Looks like dishwasher decided to disconnect from wifi this week so I need to repeat the whole process again.
I also bought connected washing machine and fridge but I think I will try to connect them next month when I manage hopefully to connect my oven.
Seriously home appliances iot is complete shit. Looks like there is no wide known standard of establishing connection so everyone is doing it on it’s own. All this security procedures to connect something to your local network are crap. I hope oven won’t disconnect from wifi.13 -
They keep training bigger language models (GPT et al). All the resear4chers appear to be doing this as a first step, and then running self-learning. The way they do this is train a smaller network, using the bigger network as a teacher. Another way of doing this is dropping some parameters and nodes and testing the performance of the network to see if the smaller version performs roughly the same, on the theory that there are some initialization and configurations that start out, just by happenstance, to be efficient (like finding a "winning lottery ticket").
My question is why aren't they running these two procedures *during* training and validation?
If [x] is a good initialization or larger network and [y] is a smaller network, then
after each training and validation, we run it against a potential [y]. If the result is acceptable and [y] is a good substitute, y becomes x, and we repeat the entire procedure.
The idea is not to look to optimize mere training and validation loss, but to bootstrap a sort of meta-loss that exists across the whole span of training, amortizing the loss function.
Anyone seen this in the wild yet?5 -
The manager that believed that sharing code was bad. We had a web and a windows client over the same db. No code shared. He'd rather duplicate the code and maintenance than share it. And the BL should be put in stored procedures, 'cause that's so easy to change in-flight...
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What's your thoughts on stored procedures(of DBs)?
What are the pros and the cost you found or perceived?
When they are opportune?
Overusing them more than a programming language is an abuse?
I was introduced to a software started initially by economy\finance people which knew a little bit programming, nonetheless their doing became messy though time and at a certain point hired a team of 4 people(from my company) to deal with it, but the approach of the two programmers to build most of the framework on calling stored procedures or queries makes me want to puke, there are almost no layers of separation of concern in place x_x3 -
I dont know how to timeline projects. I tell clients that it will be ready in one month. But the project will be so big that it takes lot of time to actually code it and do all the procedures around it. I m just giving them timeline based on the speed of my mind.3
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My employer has an application for product ordering/maintenance. Sounds pretty normal. It's an Excel spreadsheet that uses VBA to do the work, with a ton of SQL functions for row validation and procedures for database functions.
The guy that wrote it was a contractor who left the company well over 5 years ago.
No one on my team knows VBA. Me being the new guy gets tasked with this shitty VBA application's upkeep. Any time one of the braindead users fat fingers a value and the form blows up, I'm responsible for telling them exactly why they are stupid and sometimes I have to fix it for them because of the protections on the spreadsheet.
I've been asking the business to back a project for my team to develop a replacement but there is already so much happening for IT at my workplace, and my team is so under staffed (3 devs? Really?) That we spend most of our time fixing broken old shit.
We get an intern next month. Hopefully things improve soon because this tucking time bomb application sucks for everyone involved.3 -
It's Saturday and instead of being home or going out I'm stuck in college with this two trying to learn procedures because of an assignment that I have due tomorrow. What a great way to spend my weekend!
3 -
Filtering stored procedures by name in SQL Management Studio. Enter name and press enter. Cursor goes to next cell, instead of submitting.
I do this every single time. -
Algorithms class assignment..
"Prove that the merge procedure cannot run in place".
Searching google...
There are multiple merge procedures (though super complicated) that run in place.
What's the use of this class if we can't be practical because we must be theoretical, but we can't mention real theoretical stuff because it's so complicated??
I mean we are being told something that is just wrong..
I really hate this fucking professor. She went to Oxford and now thinks she's the smartest person in the universe.. -
LINQ queries or stored procedures? I prefer LINQ.
My boss says, if we are using LINQ we must be lazy and stupid.
What do you'll think?7 -
A few months back I tried to get the company I work for to invest in software to located and recover lost/stolen devices. I brought a few offerings to the table but I was told we didn't need to worry about that because it never happens and we already have software in place.
Fast forward a few months and I'm looking at the software we're using and it seems we haven't actually configured the computers to allow for tracking. I send a message to our CTO about this and point out that, in the event of a missing device, we can't actually relocate it. Not 5 minutes later a manager comes in to let us know that his computer is missing and may have been stolen because his car was broken into the previous night.
Well I'm laughing because this is just the kind of thing I needed to happen, and the manager is freaking out because he's afraid the CEO is going to be furious. I get a few emails from other members of the leadership team requesting we set up a meeting to go over our security and asset protection procedures.
So I finally get to start implementing some actual security protocols around here. And fortunately the lost laptop was actually recovered because it was left at a bar and not in the car when it was broken into. -
I could use some advice from some tenured developers... (or anyone with some thoughts)
Long story short, I went to school for business (Trust me... business people bug me too now), but in the last six months of college I didn’t like what I was doing (finance/marketing) so I dove into data analytics.
After graduating I was lucky enough to get a job at a great company doing a little data architecture work, writing lots of SQL stored procedures, managing client databases, cubes, etc... I really enjoy my work, but I recently discovered... Python...
After being introduced to Python from people at work as well as my Roomate, I’ve been trying to dig in as much as possible. I try to read/code at least an hour before work everyday and some when I get home. I love it.
So here’s where I need advice...
What do I need to do/learn to get a job writing Python all day? (Or a majority of my day)
What particular skills may I be missing that I should learn?
What do I need to do to make this happen?! (I love SQL, but damn python is amazing)1 -
Rubber ducking your ass in a way, I figure things out as I rant and have to explain my reasoning or lack thereof every other sentence.
So lettuce harvest some more: I did not finish the linker as I initially planned, because I found a dumber way to solve the problem. I'm storing programs as bytecode chunks broken up into segment trees, and this is how we get namespaces, as each segment and value is labeled -- you can very well think of it as a file structure.
Each file proper, that is, every path you pass to the compiler, has it's own segment tree that results from breaking down the code within. We call this a clan, because it's a family of data, structures and procedures. It's a bit stupid not to call it "class", but that would imply each file can have only one class, which is generally good style but still technically not the case, hence the deliberate use of another word.
Anyway, because every clan is already represented as a tree, we can easily have two or more coexist by just parenting them as-is to a common root, enabling the fetching of symbols from one clan to another. We then perform a cannonical walk of the unified tree, push instructions to an assembly queue, and flatten the segmented memory into a single pool onto which we write the assembler's output.
I didn't think this would work, but it does. So how?
The assembly queue uses a highly sophisticated crackhead abstraction of the CVYC clan, or said plainly, clairvoyant code of the "fucked if I thought this would be simple" family. Fundamentally, every element in the queue is -- recursively -- either a fixed value or a function pointer plus arguments. So every instruction takes the form (ins (arg[0],arg[N])) where the instruction and the arguments may themselves be either fixed or indirect fetches that must be solved but in the ~ F U T U R E ~
Thusly, the assembler must be made aware of the fact that it's wearing sunglasses indoors and high on cocaine, so that these pointers -- and the accompanying arguments -- can be solved. However, your hemorroids are great, and sitting may be painful for long, hard times to come, because to even try and do this kind of John Connor solving pinky promises that loop on themselves is slowly reducing my sanity.
But minor time travel paradoxes aside, this allows for all existing symbols to be fetched at the time of assembly no matter where exactly in memory they reside; even if the namespace is mutated, and so the symbol duplicated, we can still modify the original symbol at the time of duplication to re-route fetchers to it's new location. And so the madness begins.
Effectively, our code can see the future, and it is not pleased with your test results. But enough about you being a disappointment to an equally misconstructed institution -- we are vermin of science, now stand still while I smack you with this Bible.
But seriously now, what I'm trying to say is that linking is not required as a separate step as a result of all this unintelligible fuckery; all the information required to access a file is the segment tree itself, so linking is appending trees to a new root, and a tree written to disk is essentially a linkable object file.
Mission accomplished... ? Perhaps.
This very much closes the chapter on *virtual* programs, that is, anything running on the VM. We're still lacking translation to native code, and that's an entirely different topic. Luckily, the language is pretty fucking close to assembler, so the translation may actually not be all that complicated.
But that is a story for another day, kids.
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I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
The most stressful day of month.
I need to put hours into hour counting programs so computer can analyze those hours using deep learning algorithms and pay me a wage I don't deserve.
Each program work differently.
One of it works inside the local company network.
Other one I need to connect outside from company network.
In all of them I can't make mistake or I need to write to someone to fix my mistakes.
One of this programs use java applet, other is simple php website.
One of them blocks row in calendar when I click so when I login again and click I can't edit this row because it's locked by me who is editing this row.
One of them is requesting me to provide my work in minutes.
I need to follow strict procedures to report any holidays or national holidays that I need first figure out when they happen.
Wish me luck.1 -
Currently working on a distributional semantics database or something like that. The goal is to read natural language texts and construct a graph of words, with directed edges containing the relative distances between them. Then I want to enter one or more words and find all of the possible words which could be used before, after or in between those words, simply based on the previously learned texts. Then I want to find words which are used in similar contexts and build a kind of dictionary that way.
The end goal is to use this to define software or other states and procedures, using natural language.
What do you think of this idea? Can you imagine it being feasable for its purpose? What are your thoughts?3 -
Just made a damn fool of myself with a client. I handed off three projects and they had no idea what they were for and neither did I. My boss gave me these months ago. No code comments, no documentation, just some stored procedures they wanted me to actualize.
The best I could offer was to promise the client I would send a description of the projects to them as soon as my boss gets them to me. Fuck. I thought the client would know what they asked for when I showed them, but fuck me, they didn't remember. So embarrassing. 😡😡😡 -
I feel like we we not only 'advanced' various fields by pulling people off some lord of the flies island who only wanted to dance around with a severed pig head in reality and training them, but also depleted and destroyed many essential fields by removing all valid motivators from our environment by spreading so much cynicism and unguided lust for power over others in the absence of any of the unifying beliefs of former generations that the professions are going to implode in the years to come.
so I wasn't very experienced when i went to work some place years back. I'd worked on my own. and I was criticized by their 80k per year team lead as having 'only done some simple things'... when his project didn't work, and par for the course their criticisms were coming from people who took a standard backend on a very large project that actually had been designed to function and something else likely needed fixed, to 'HEY LETS USE LINQ TO SQL APPARENTLY WITHOUT TESTING RELATIVE PERFORMANCE !!!!! AND WE'LL THROW SOME AD HOC QUERIES GENERATED BY MICROSOFT AT OUR SERVER INSTALLATION AND WATCH THE PERFORMANCE 'GAINS' THEN WE'LL BACKTRACK AND PUT STORED PROCEDURES BACK AND GENERATE HOOKS TO THEM LIKE A CLASSICAL DAL. JUST USING LINQ TO SQL'S CONTEXT OBJECT ! HURRAY I HAVE A BACHELORS AND 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE !'
There are so many details to fill in teaching the mindset of how to do things right in the first place is kind of expensive to begin with and you don't necessarily learn that in school working on common comp sci projects in academia. But they should have known better. I'm actually embarassed to list linq to sql on my resume as I think back.8 -
I took over an application that consisted of 4 MSSQL (2005 at the time) databases, hundreds of tables, thousands of stored procedures, maybe a 1/4 of them actual still being used, external links to more than 20 other databases (MSSQL, Oracle and DB2) which all ran from a single "master" stored proc that was kicked off nightly by scheduled job.
The existing documentation consisted of a single word document, about three pages long, describing how to set up the application... on the Sql Server 6 server it had been originally created on two generations ago. -
Have some questions to testing.
Right now we are at the production end for first version. So far it was said to use Selenium IDE for Browser side testing, which was barely possible for the size of the website...
Is there other software or are there concepts I can read and inform myself to get into that point to teach myself properly?
The project is a business Website with Work flow system. Php backend and Database with a few procedures and zend framework for browser side.7 -
Hey kids, do you want to know what's cool and hip?
Writing scripts to formalize and encode domain specific procedures related to development and sharing it within the entire team is cool!
Readmes with step-by-step guides are highly overrated.4 -
1. Sum up all the behaviours/functionalities the program should have
2. break each functionality down to the data/procedures that it uses(mindmaps can help)
3. get an understanding of a naive implementation and implement it (fast)
4. collect improvement opportunities (opitimization/simplification/expansion) and get a deeper understanding of the solution
5. spend a few days on some real life issues
6. improve the naive code, if appropiate, start all over -
when your db guy made a mistake in the stored procedures and you are finding a bug for 5 days already.. damn! wasted life because of him
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I just completed this heartfelt and sincere little cry for help on another ste but it wasn't verified because I'm not special enough to format it like a PAD, whatever that means. I cannot seem to simply burn music files anymore. I'm using a Samsung laptop Device name DESKTOP-AII2T2S
Processor Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-2675QM CPU @ 2.20GHz 2.20 GHz
Installed RAM 8.00 GB
Device ID D766A89B-5671-4D9F-B6F9-2D884E9EA309
Product ID 00326-10000-00000-AA880
System type 64-bit operating system, x64-based processor
Pen and touch No pen or touch input is available for this display
Edition Windows 10 Home
Version 20H2
Installed on 09/08/2020
OS build 19042.928
Experience Windows Feature Experience Pack 120.2212.551.0
The music is a combination of commercially relased material as well as bootleg recorded material.
I am not looking for a "This is Why We Can No Longer Burn Our Music Files" Intro. All you need to tell me is the corporations that eat the world are protecting their copywrighted music and I must be up earlier and eat bettter breakkie than those individuals. That I can handle. Although I'm not a dev, I'm sure you can understand the feelling after you have worked for hours on attempting something, only to discover your effort has been in vain (much like my former relationships). Again, if you can give me any direction aside from hanging it up and attempting to find happeniness elsewhere, sock it to me. I deserve it. Thanks.
11 years ago when I used a Macbook putting together a playlist, inserting a blank CDR, and burning the file onto the CDR was very easy. I\'m am now faced with hurdles I sometimes scale, only to fall on my face.
I\'m not stupid, or uneducatated about flac, blah blah. I learnt it all myself. I\'m now using a windows operating system. Afew weeks ago I was able to burn what ever I pleased and it was OK.
Then one day, it just wouldn\'t do it. I was following no altered procedures. Since then it\'s been misery. I remember that ocenaudio once burned music files for me.
I don\'t know how to go about retrieving an instruction manual that will take me step by step as to how to do this.
You help would be appreciated.
Cheers,
Jonno
I've been lurking here since 2017 when my Macbook died. I've always enjoy the level of sanity and have attempted to add my jaded, distant and nihilistic spin on a few threads. It won't destroy me if I can't burn files anymore, I'll just go back on heavy tranques and change my name to Ben Zo. Dia Za P.een2 -
So I've been using Duet on my iPad Pro for a couple years now (lets me use it as an external monitor via Lightning cable) and without issue. Shit, I've been quite happy with it. Then the other day, whilst hooked up to my work laptop, there was a power fluctuation that caused my laptop to stop sending power to connected devices. Which is fine - I have it plugged into a surge protector so these fluctuations shouldn't matter. After a few seconds the laptop resumed normal operation and my connected devices were up and running again.
But the iPad Pro, for some reason, went into an infinite boot loop sequence. It reboots, gets to the white Apple logo, then reboots again.
In the end, after putting the iPad into recovery mode and running Apple's update in iTunes (as they recommend), it proceeds to wipe all my data. Without warning. I lost more than a couple of years of notes, illustrations and photos. All in one fucking swoop.
To be clear, you get 2 options in iTunes when performing a device update:
1. UPDATE - will not mess with your data, will just update the OS (in this case iPadOS)
2. RESTORE - will delete everything, basically a factory reset
I clicked UPDATE. After the first attempt, it still kept bootlooping. So I did it again, I made sure I clicked UPDATE because I had not yet backed up my data. It then proceeds to do a RESTORE even though I clicked UPDATE.
Why, Apple? WHY.
After a solemn weekend lamenting my lost data, I've come a conclusion: fuck you Apple for designing very shitty software. I mean, why can't I access my device data over a cabled connection in the event I can't boot into the OS? If you need some form of authentication to keep out thieves, surely the mutltiple times you ask me to log in with my Apple ID on iTunes upon connecting the damn thing is more than sufficient?! You keep spouting that you have a secure boot chain and shit, surely it can verify a legitimate user using authenticated hardware without having to boot into the device OS?
And on the subject of backing up my data, you really only have 2 manual options here. Either (a) open iTunes, select your device, select the installed app, then selectively download the files onto my system; or (b) do a full device backup. Neither of those procedures is time-efficient nor straightforward. And if you want to do option b wirelessly, it can only be on iCloud. Which is bullshit. And you can't even access the files in the device backup - you can only get to them by restoring to your device. Even MORE bullshit.
Conversely, on my Android phone I can automate backups of individual apps, directories or files to my cloud provider of choice, or even to an external microSD card. I can schedule when the backups happen. I can access my files ANYTIME.
I got the iPad Pro because I wanted the best drawing experience, and Apple Pencil at the time was really the best you could get. But I see now it's not worth compromise of having shitty software. I mean, It's already 2021 but these dated piles of excrement that are iOS and iPadOS still act like it's 2011; they need to be seriously reviewed and re-engineered, because eventually they're going to end up as nothing but all UI fluff to hide these extremely glaring problems.2 -
Who's that sane to prefer programming with stored procedures than an actual programming language?
I would like to touch that shit only for optimization reasons, but when you have a project being built up without proper ORMs this is the idea that comes out of 'seniors' -__-8 -
We have procedures in place, but nothing has been Enacted as of yet other than travel bans and inter division meeting. Pushing for all meetings to be phone or web. Day to day team internals have not been affected yet. There is discussion to split the teams up so not everyone in the office is at the office at the same time. Split via “shifts” so different project groups would work during different shifts to reduce contact with others. And then also working from home, some like it , I don’t because all my stuff I need is at the office, and the internet at my house isn’t capable of what I need. So the shifting works best for me. Kinda nice I like the 3rd shift option for software.
-
I hate AWS ec2 instanced with it shitty handling of environment variables...Why in hell it is so hard to set an environment variable which will be re-set in case the instance will be restarted? For hours I'm fighting through manuals and non of the described procedures work2
-
From weird set of stored procedures to html to PDF to being a blob in a database ... I mean, sure, but why ... who comes up with that ... and why do I have to make it work1
-
Building a Web dashboard. Stats a day tiles etc.
Boss wants to write sql stored procedures to populate tiles.
Azure dB returns tile list, that maps to angular directive names, use nested angular directive that auto compiles a directive by name, then that directives controller calls a sql query which returns the name of the query to call to receive data, formats the data into charts or lists, builds the tile, places it into a gridster tile array and redirects to new tile pages by UI router state names.
I... I think I have gone too far. What have I done. -
I always try to make problems more ... interesting, fancy, challenging. As soon as it gets boring, my mind is wandering.
Like now, when I wrote like a gazillion stored procedures, connected them to the back end classes, connected them to the new WCF service methods, connected them to the front end ... That's when I try to do anything but work.1 -
So I just spent 8 hours migrating our git projects from bitbucket to gitlab because SOMEONE thought backups were being done nightly without ever actually checking. Of course the only backups to be found were well over a year old and the fucking bit bucket licence expired ao migration was entirely fucking manual... CHECK YOUR FUCKING BACKUPS, FUUUCCCCKKK!!!!! At least have the common courtesy of putting something in place to report on failing backup procedures.
Oh and another thing: FUCK YOU ATLASSIAN! RIGHT UP THE ASSE WITH A RUSTY, RABIES RIDDEN, AIDS INDUCING PITCHFORK SIDEWAYS! Who the flying fuck names their repos numbers? Thanks for nothing you mind numbingly incompotent apes...
On a cheerier note, how's everyones day been?2 -
How the hell do I plan and put in place new procedures for testing and THEN updating software on our department server 😫 (a 7zip bug got us good recently lol)
why couldn't this be a procedure before I started working here. I don't know how to create a procedure document. What if I forget to write a step
Fuck I just wanna go back to my code not a word document3 -
Hey Guys,
I want to build a voice assistance like Ok Google from scratch using ML.
Actually, I'm unable to figure out How can I achieve this 😅.
I want App like When I give command like Open DevRant then the App should work like Google App.
Ok all Good.
But I want to know If I write a code to open any App like Open APP_NAME
then It is coded by me not my app is learning this.
Sorry If I'm unable to Explain this to you.
I want to know Should I have to code all procedures for doing task like open any app, calling any number, etc myself or is there any way that my App can learn on its on 😔.
If somebody understand this please suggest me what is best for this.5 -
I wanted to build a platform for student who wants to do research and are having hard time finding a good professor within university or from outside, so naturally I started asking professor I knew and this is what I get:
Normally they will only hire students from within university unless student himself has funding, and even with that hiring students from outside is a lot of procedures.
And no, such platform probably won’t be that useful as they get a lot of emails asking about research.
Startup idea instantly killed.7 -
I used to hate the tediousness of "busy work" e.g. changing labels in forms or running unit test procedures. But damn does it make the day go by quicker. I missed having something (anything) to do.
-
!rant
So, I wanted a little suggestion here.
I'm currently interning at a startup and currently we document our build procedures by creating .docx files containing the steps. But docx is a pain in the ass. I'd rather prefer markdown for documentation.
Are there any better tools for documenting? What do you guys use?
We're using Jira for project management bdw.1 -
What is a good way of enforcing rules (particularly following release procedures, cut off dates) for a team?
Other than the rules need to be well defined and written down, I'm thinking there needs to be a consequence for violations....
Like must provide a valid explanation or buy the boss/team/whoever has to do extra work because of the violation a drink.
But not sure what's a good one, does it work out is this too Draconian?8 -
Why do some hosting services with MySQL not allow triggers and stored procedures / functions?
Had never tried to use them and now I've done it and deployed a site, I discover I can't create triggers, and that some hosting provider don't allow users to do them... this is a rant but more of a question, as I didn't know and maybe there's lore to it you do know...1 -
"No, the Client doesn't like stored procedures so we have done all our TL parts of the ETL using a bunch of views on top of views on top of views."
Wish I could have been here at the start so I could have pushed back, sigh.
Siiiggghhhh, yet the client is anal about performance and even consistency in SSIS packages.....siiiggghhhhhh but we dont have SHOWPLAN permissions or even sp_who2 access...siiiigggghhhhhh.
If i expanded one of the final views, would be like 1k lines. For the amount of data, we move, there shouldn't be any noticeable processing time but it can take anywhere from 10mins to an hour.2 -
What alternative do you use for EF Migrations?
We are in current stage that it's slowing our build time for 30 seconds, and each month we need to clean them and do the same for the whole pipeline (dev, qa, prod)...
It's way uncomfortable to work with it since we have stored procedures and ef doesn't track them...
What alternative did you chose to use?1 -
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So I'm sitting here reexamining the prototext file of the densenet model and i'm confused by what i'm seeing.
I realize its a fancy 'convolutional network' but how do you pretrain a model with what looks like a whollllleee bunch of complex programmatic procedures in between input and output ?
I thought each layer was just an activation code, bias and so many connected weights which act as coefficents to the last layers output ?
how is gradient descent performed where you have imaging procedures being performed ?1 -
Firstly, I'm not a dev, and I don't play one on telly. But I would like to say that I am qualified to tell those gits at Microsoft that I'm just this side of seriously laughing myself into the Moscow Suburban Branch of Are You Fucking Kidding Me With a Pages-Long instruction tutorial that even Jesus Christ would read it and tell the Microsoft writers to go fuck themselves, and he would put a word in with his Father to personally keep these wankers VERY FAR out of Heaven.
I'm specifically referring to the sound on my laptop being fucking lame. And I don't wish to attempt to add up the time I've taken to read and then attempt to implement the procedures, only to find they were complete bullocks. These were supplied on the microsoft answers website.
I click on a playlist. It sounds heavenly. I stop the playlist and put a pair of headphones on and insert the doo-dad Koss sent to me gratis as an adapter. Silence. Click on 'troubleshoot sound problems.' Sounds emanate from the headphone!. Repeat. This is throwing my toys out of the pram, I admit it.2 -
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Saclux Comptech Specialst is truly a standout in the cryptocurrency recovery industry. They operate with a level of trust and integrity that immediately sets them apart, guiding clients through the often-complex recovery process with confidence and expertise. Their vast knowledge in crypto tracing, legal support, and asset recovery makes them one of the top players in the field.
What really impresses me is their commitment to transparency. From the moment you engage with them, they provide clear and detailed explanations of their services, fees, and procedures. This approach eliminates confusion, allowing clients to begin the recovery journey with complete peace of mind. Their dedication to privacy and ethical standards only reinforces their professionalism, ensuring that all operations are conducted securely and confidentially.
SACLUX COMPTECH SPECIALST uses highly sophisticated forensic tools and blockchain analysis to track down stolen cryptocurrencies, significantly speeding up the recovery process. Their cutting-edge technology, combined with their legal support and partnerships with law enforcement, increases the chances of success. I was amazed at how efficiently they were able to reduce investigation times while maintaining their thorough approach.
The numerous client testimonials aboutSACLUX COMPTECH SPECIALST only confirm their reputation for efficiency and professionalism. Many clients, including myself, have had positive experiences that demonstrate their ability to recover lost digital assets with ease and expertise. These stories are not just reassuring—they are proof of their consistent results.
With top-notch technology, extensive experience, and strong legal backing, SACLUX COMPTECH SPECIALST is the go-to expert for cryptocurrency recovery. They specialize in tackling complex cases like ransomware attacks, accidental deletions, and system crashes, helping clients regain their lost assets. Their forensic capabilities, combined with a genuine commitment to client satisfaction, make them the perfect partner for anyone seeking to recover stolen digital assets.
Overall, SACLUX COMPTECH SPECIALST delivers exceptional service, backed by an impressive track record of success. I highly recommend them to anyone in need of cryptocurrency recovery.
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Saclux Comptech Specialst is truly a standout in the cryptocurrency recovery industry. They operate with a level of trust and integrity that immediately sets them apart, guiding clients through the often-complex recovery process with confidence and expertise. Their vast knowledge in crypto tracing, legal support, and asset recovery makes them one of the top players in the field.
What really impresses me is their commitment to transparency. From the moment you engage with them, they provide clear and detailed explanations of their services, fees, and procedures. This approach eliminates confusion, allowing clients to begin the recovery journey with complete peace of mind. Their dedication to privacy and ethical standards only reinforces their professionalism, ensuring that all operations are conducted securely and confidentially.
Saclux Comptech Specialst uses highly sophisticated forensic tools and blockchain analysis to track down stolen cryptocurrencies, significantly speeding up the recovery process. Their cutting-edge technology, combined with their legal support and partnerships with law enforcement, increases the chances of success. I was amazed at how efficiently they were able to reduce investigation times while maintaining their thorough approach.
The numerous client testimonials about Saclux Comptech Specialst only confirm their reputation for efficiency and professionalism. Many clients, including myself, have had positive experiences that demonstrate their ability to recover lost digital assets with ease and expertise. These stories are not just reassuring—they are proof of their consistent results.
With top-notch technology, extensive experience, and strong legal backing, Saclux Comptech Specialst is the go-to expert for cryptocurrency recovery. They specialize in tackling complex cases like ransomware attacks, accidental deletions, and system crashes, helping clients regain their lost assets. Their forensic capabilities, combined with a genuine commitment to client satisfaction, make them the perfect partner for anyone seeking to recover stolen digital assets.
Overall, Saclux Comptech Specialst delivers exceptional service, backed by an impressive track record of success. I highly recommend them to anyone in need of cryptocurrency recovery.
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Entrusting one's hard-earned money to the wrong hands can have devastating consequences. My journey began innocently enough, sparked by the success story of a former coworker who boasted of her newfound wealth and attributed it to the guidance of an investment coach. Intrigued by her lavish lifestyle, I delved deeper into the world of stock trading, eager to replicate her success. Upon contacting the purported investment coach, John Mark, I was met with promises of quick riches and convenient trading platforms. Eager to seize the opportunity, I followed his recommendations and funded my trading account with a significant sum of $78,000. However, what followed was a series of red flags and suspicious transactions that left me questioning the legitimacy of the entire operation. Despite completing numerous trades within my first week, attempts to withdraw my profits were met with resistance and dubious excuses. The company insisted on additional fees for gas and maintenance, a requirement that had never been mentioned before. As doubts gnawed at my conscience, I realized I had fallen victim to a sophisticated scam, orchestrated by individuals preying on unsuspecting investors. Feeling helpless and betrayed, I turned to FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES., a beacon of hope amidst the chaos. From the moment I reached out to them, their team exhibited understanding the gravity of my situation. They conducted a thorough investigation, meticulously analyzing every aspect of the scam to uncover the truth. FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. technical expertise are experienced .Despite the complexity of the case, they remained steadfast in their pursuit of justice, leaving no stone unturned in their quest to reclaim what was rightfully mine. With the information I provided, FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. successfully traced the origins of the scam and identified the culprits responsible for my financial misfortune. Their swift action and relentless determination culminated in the recovery of all lost funds, restoring my faith in humanity and the promise of a brighter future. The amount recovered, totaling $78,000, served as a testament to FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES.'s unparalleled capabilities and unwavering commitment to ethical practices. Their transparency and willingness to explain their procedures instilled a sense of trust, which was crucial during such a trying time. I cannot recommend FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. highly enough to anyone who finds themselves ensnared in the clutches of financial fraud. Their exceptional service is good. If you ever find yourself facing a similar ordeal, don't hesitate to seek help from FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES.. Let FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. be your savior. Contact FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. via⁚
Email: fastswift @ cyberservices . com
Telephone: +1 323-904-9024
WhatsApp: +4670-449-7301
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Nam Dinh Vu Industrial Park: An Attractive Option for Singaporean Investors
Nam Dinh Vu Industrial Park in Hai Phong, Vietnam, has become a key destination for foreign direct investment (FDI), attracting businesses from around the world, including Singapore. With its strategic advantages and favorable investment climate, Singaporean enterprises have achieved significant success, offering valuable insights into effective investment practices.
A major factor contributing to this success is Nam Dinh Vu’s strategic location within the Dinh Vu – Cat Hai Economic Zone. As the only industrial park in Hai Phong with an integrated international seaport—Nam Dinh Vu Port—it provides direct access to major maritime routes, reducing transportation costs and optimizing supply chain efficiency. The park features state-of-the-art infrastructure, including container terminals and liquid cargo ports, supporting diverse logistics needs. These advantages have made it an attractive destination for Singaporean investors looking to expand in Vietnam’s industrial sector (1).
Vietnam’s investment policies have played a crucial role in attracting Singaporean businesses. Investors benefit from preferential corporate income tax rates, including a 10% rate for the first 15 years, complete tax exemption for the first four years, and a 50% reduction for the following nine years. Import duty exemptions on goods for fixed asset creation further lower operational costs. Additionally, streamlined investment licensing procedures through a one-stop service have created an efficient and investor-friendly environment. These incentives have positioned Nam Dinh Vu as a highly attractive option for Singaporean enterprises seeking long-term growth (2).
With its prime location, robust infrastructure, and favorable investment policies, Nam Dinh Vu Industrial Park has proven to be a highly appealing destination for Singaporean enterprises. These advantages have contributed to the park’s growing success and position as a strategic hub for industrial and logistics activities in Vietnam. Looking ahead, with continued support from government incentives and its competitive edge in logistics, Nam Dinh Vu is poised to attract even more investment from Singaporean businesses. This growing interest will further solidify its role as a leading industrial park in the region, creating new opportunities for collaboration and growth for both local and international companies.
Source:
(1). Vietnam Investment Review
(2). ASEAN Briefing
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Dream Smile Dental: Your Trusted Lakewood Ranch and Parrish Dentists for a Beautiful Smile
At Dream Smile Dental, located in Bradenton, FL, we are committed to providing exceptional dental care for patients in Lakewood Ranch, Parrish, and the surrounding areas. Whether you are seeking routine dental care, a Bradenton dental consultation, or a complete Bradenton smile makeover, our team is here to ensure you receive personalized care and achieve the smile you've always dreamed of.
Located conveniently at 4326 FL-64, Bradenton, FL 34208, we offer a wide range of services designed to meet the needs of every patient, from preventive care to cosmetic enhancements. Our team of experienced dental professionals is dedicated to providing you with the highest level of care in a comfortable and welcoming environment.
Lakewood Ranch Dentist: Exceptional Care for Your Family
As your trusted Lakewood Ranch dentist, we understand that dental care is a vital part of your overall health and well-being. Whether you're in need of routine preventive care, restorative treatments, or cosmetic procedures, we are here to provide the best care for you and your family.
Services We Offer as Your Lakewood Ranch Dentist:
Routine Checkups and Cleanings: Regular dental exams and cleanings are essential for maintaining oral health and preventing issues like cavities, gum disease, and tooth decay.
Dental Fillings and Crowns: We offer high-quality fillings and crowns to restore teeth that are damaged by decay or injury.
Teeth Whitening: For those seeking a brighter, more radiant smile, we offer professional whitening treatments that deliver excellent results.
Cosmetic Dentistry: Our Lakewood Ranch dentist services also include smile makeovers, porcelain veneers, and dental bonding to enhance the appearance of your smile.
Orthodontics and Clear Aligners: We provide teeth-straightening solutions, including traditional braces and clear aligners, for both teens and adults.
When you visit us, we take the time to listen to your concerns and goals, and we tailor our treatments to meet your specific needs. If you’re looking for a Lakewood Ranch dentist who is dedicated to providing high-quality care with a personal touch, Dream Smile Dental is the right choice for you.
Parrish Dentist: Comprehensive Care for Your Family's Dental Health
At Dream Smile Dental, we are proud to serve patients in Parrish with comprehensive dental care. Whether you need a routine exam, restorative work, or cosmetic enhancements, our Parrish dentist team is here to provide the services you need to maintain a healthy smile.
Why Choose Dream Smile Dental as Your Parrish Dentist?
Family-Friendly Care: We offer a warm, welcoming environment for patients of all ages. From children’s dentistry to adult treatments, our goal is to ensure everyone feels comfortable and cared for.
Emergency Dental Care: Dental emergencies can happen at any time, and we’re here to help. Whether you have a toothache, a cracked tooth, or a dental injury, we offer prompt care to relieve pain and prevent further damage.
Cosmetic Dentistry: We can enhance your smile with services such as veneers, bonding, and teeth whitening. If you’re looking for a smile makeover, our team can help you achieve your desired aesthetic results.
If you’re in need of a compassionate and skilled Parrish dentist, Dream Smile Dental is here to provide the dental care your family deserves. We focus on delivering personalized, high-quality treatments designed to keep your smile healthy and beautiful for years to come.
Bradenton Dental Consultation: Your Path to Better Oral Health
At Dream Smile Dental, we believe that understanding your oral health is the first step toward achieving the smile you want. Our Bradenton dental consultation services are designed to give you a thorough understanding of your current dental condition and the best treatment options available.
During your Bradenton dental consultation, we will:
Examine Your Teeth and Gums: We will carefully assess your oral health, checking for cavities, gum disease, and other potential issues.
Discuss Your Concerns and Goals: Whether you are concerned about a specific issue or looking to improve the overall appearance of your smile, we will listen to your needs and provide personalized advice.
Offer Preventive and Treatment Options: Based on the results of your consultation, we will recommend preventive measures or treatment options that best suit your needs, whether that involves cleanings, fillings, or more advanced procedures.
Answer Your Questions: We want you to feel informed and confident in your dental care, so we take the time to explain your treatment options and answer any questions you may have.
A Bradenton dental consultation at Dream Smile Dental is the perfect opportunity to take control of your oral health and start planning for a healthier smile.
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Entrusting one's hard-earned money to the wrong hands can have devastating consequences. My journey began innocently enough, sparked by the success story of a former coworker who boasted of her newfound wealth and attributed it to the guidance of an investment coach. Intrigued by her lavish lifestyle, I delved deeper into the world of stock trading, eager to replicate her success. Upon contacting the purported investment coach, John Mark, I was met with promises of quick riches and convenient trading platforms. Eager to seize the opportunity, I followed his recommendations and funded my trading account with a significant sum of $78,000. However, what followed was a series of red flags and suspicious transactions that left me questioning the legitimacy of the entire operation. Despite completing numerous trades within my first week, attempts to withdraw my profits were met with resistance and dubious excuses. The company insisted on additional fees for gas and maintenance, a requirement that had never been mentioned before. As doubts gnawed at my conscience, I realized I had fallen victim to a sophisticated scam, orchestrated by individuals preying on unsuspecting investors. Feeling helpless and betrayed, I turned to FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES., a beacon of hope amidst the chaos. From the moment I reached out to them, their team exhibited understanding the gravity of my situation. They conducted a thorough investigation, meticulously analyzing every aspect of the scam to uncover the truth. FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. technical expertise are experienced .Despite the complexity of the case, they remained steadfast in their pursuit of justice, leaving no stone unturned in their quest to reclaim what was rightfully mine. With the information I provided, FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. successfully traced the origins of the scam and identified the culprits responsible for my financial misfortune. Their swift action and relentless determination culminated in the recovery of all lost funds, restoring my faith in humanity and the promise of a brighter future. The amount recovered, totaling $78,000, served as a testament to FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES.'s unparalleled capabilities and unwavering commitment to ethical practices. Their transparency and willingness to explain their procedures instilled a sense of trust, which was crucial during such a trying time. I cannot recommend FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. highly enough to anyone who finds themselves ensnared in the clutches of financial fraud. Their exceptional service is good. If you ever find yourself facing a similar ordeal, don't hesitate to seek help from FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES.. Let FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. be your savior. Contact FAST SWIFT CYBER SERVICES. via⁚
Email: fastswift @ cyberservices . com
Telephone: +1 323-904-9024
WhatsApp: +4670-449-7301
-
DIGITAL HACK RECOVERY — TRUSTED BITCOIN RECOVERY COMPANY
I will never forget the sinking feeling of dread that overcame me when I realized my precious Bitcoin had vanished into the digital ether. After years of diligently building up my cryptocurrency portfolio, a simple error had cost me a small fortune. I had accidentally sent my BTC to the wrong wallet address, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to retrieve it. Before I eventually came into the Digital Hack Recovery service, I frantically searched the internet for any ray of hope. I was dubious at first since I had tried every other solution and there was no way these self-described "Digital Hack Recovery" could get my lost Bitcoin back. I was left with no choice than to call out, and to my complete surprise, they started working right away. Using their unmatched knowledge of blockchain technology and sophisticated cryptography, the Digital Hack Recovery team jumped right in to track down my misplaced Bitcoin. Their superior recovery procedures and thorough detective work allowed them to find my cash and patiently walk me through the process of restoring access. It was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For weeks, I had felt a constant sense of despair and hopelessness after losing my 120,000 BTC. I couldn’t shake the feeling of regret and frustration, thinking I might never see it again. But then, I received the incredible news from Digital Hack Recovery. The moment they confirmed that they had successfully recovered my lost BTC, everything changed. The relief I felt was overwhelming, and the joy I experienced was indescribable. All the anxiety, all the sleepless nights, vanished in an instant. I couldn’t be more grateful for Digital Hack Recovery and the professional team that made the impossible happen. They truly turned my nightmare into a dream come true. If you’re in a similar situation, I can’t recommend their services enough. In the end, not only did the Digital Hack Recovery service restore my lost Bitcoin, but they also provided me with invaluable education and peace of mind, equipping me with the knowledge to prevent such a devastating loss from ever happening again. This experience was a true testament to the power of perseverance, the brilliance of innovative technology, and the life-changing impact of expert guidance when navigating the complex world of cryptocurrency. Why wait more time, put an email through to Digital Hack Recovery via: digital hack recovery
@ techie . com
WhatsApp +19152151930
Website; https : // digital hack recovery . com
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GET BACK ALL YOUR SCAMMED CRYPTO INVESTMENT FROM A FAKE PLATFORM—> CONTACT DIGITAL HACK RECOVERY
I began my investment journey on the Telegram platform with a deposit of €85,000. I was optimistic about my decision and, in what felt like no time, I saw my account balance grow to €1,200,000. I was thrilled with my progress and felt confident in my ability to navigate the platform successfully. But that confidence quickly turned into frustration when I tried to withdraw my funds.What should have been a simple process quickly became a nightmare. Despite following all the necessary procedures and reaching out to customer service multiple times, I encountered nothing but delays and obstacles. Each attempt to contact them either went unanswered or resulted in vague responses. As the days passed, it became clear that the company had no intention of letting me access my money. I felt completely powerless and, worse, I started to worry that I might lose everything I had worked so hard to accumulate.It was at this low point that a friend of mine, who had faced a similar situation, recommended Digital Hack Recovery. He had successfully worked with them in the past to recover his own funds and spoke highly of their services. Desperate and exhausted from the lack of progress, I decided to reach out to Digital Hack Recovery.From the moment I contacted them, I knew I was dealing with professionals who genuinely cared about my situation. Their team was highly knowledgeable, and they explained everything to me in a way that made sense. They crafted a customized recovery plan tailored to my specific circumstances and kept me updated every step of the way. What truly set them apart was their transparency and dedication. They didn’t just tell me what they were doing, they involved me in the process, ensuring I felt supported throughout.Thanks to Digital Hack Recovery's persistence and expertise, I was able to recover every single euro I had invested. The relief I felt when my funds were finally restored was indescribable. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I couldn’t have been more grateful for their help.If you’re in a similar situation, struggling to withdraw funds or facing barriers with an investment, I strongly recommend reaching out to Digital Hack Recovery. Their team has the experience, skill, and determination to recover what’s rightfully yours. I truly believe that without their help, I would have never seen my money again. Trust me, you won’t regret working with them.
Their contact info⁚ WhatsApp⁚ +19152151930
Email⁚ digital
hack recovery @techie . com
Website; https : // digital hack recovery . com
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