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So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.
I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).
So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.
Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.
Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...
So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.
That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.
He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.
Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.
I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵11 -
Looks like I'm getting fired on Wednesday :)
Long story:
*I add first unit tests to project.
*Boss adds new functionality and breaks all the tests so I can't compile and write more for what I'm working on.
*Boss is very fragile and cannot handle any comment that can possibly be taken as a slight against him.
Me: "I wanted to ask what our policy on unit tests is please? Because we haven't really said how we are treating unit tests, and everyone myself included is not thinking about them. I also haven't added tests when I fixed bugs and this time your changes broke the tests"
Boss 10 minutes later: "I want to speak to you in private".
Boss: "you are too forceful and direct. You said I should have added tests."
Me: "yeah but I didn't mean in a nasty way"
Boss getting louder and more aggressive: "You are too forceful"
Me: "I didn't mean it in a bad way"
Boss: "I didn't want to add tests for that!"
Me: "then why add any tests?"
Boss: "Fine we are not having this conversation now!"
*Boss storms out
I decided I can't speak to the guy about anything without upsetting him spoke to the manager before I quit because I can't work like this.
That resulted in a meeting with my boss, his boss and the head of HR where I ended up savaging him and told them I can't bring up anything as I can never tell if it will offend him and that I spend ages writing emails and trying to document communications because I just can never tell if I will upset him. Also that I cannot bring up any ideas because I can't tell if he will somehow get offended and that I can't even write code because if I change something he wrote at some point he will get angry.
My boss claims that I am extremely forceful and disrespectful and that I am constantly insulting him and his decisions.
We go back over a ton of shit and I refute everything he says. In the end I have to have a meeting with him on Wednesday where we either get things straight, he fires me or I quit.
I think at this point that our relationship is too fucked for him to be my team lead on a 6 man team.
Side note I keep bringing forth ideas because we have one database shared between 6 Devs, no pull requests (apart from mine and another new guy), no test driven development, no backlog, no team driven story pointing, no running tests before merging, no continuous integration setup, no integration tests, no build step on merge, no idea of if we are on track to our deadline other than his gut feeling, no actual unit tests backend - just integration with a test db, no enthusiasm to learn in the team and no hope.21 -
Irma is coming. And just a few weeks after we move to South Beach full time. Figures.
Anyway, if the storms sweeps us away, remember that I love you all.
Well... most of you.
Ok, like a handful of you.56 -
I've always wanted to build an underground bunker for storms, to hide from my unstable ex girlfriend, and lulz, so I am. The hardest part isn't the digging or the structure, it's finding a way to ensure I'll still have internet.5
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What’s everyone do in their spare time? I chase and track storms! Nothing makes you feel alive like a tornado a few miles in front of you!
No tornado on the picture posted, but it’s an active storm with capabilities of forming 2-4 inch hail.
12 -
User where I work is convinced someone hacked her iPhone and is remotely changing settings all the time. And it’s not us (the company), the phone isn’t managed and there are no remote profiles installed.
User: I’m telling you. Things are always changing without me doing it!
Me: Alright. Do you have an exemple?
User: Yes. When I swipe here [control center] and tap the WiFi toggle, it always gets back on by itself later.
Me: Yep. That’s actually a “feature”. You don’t have to worry.
User: Alright then, this morning I couldn’t get Google Maps to work.
Me: Well. Since you turned off your cellular and WiFi, it’s normal you couldn’t look up an adress.
User: okay then what about that Bluetooth icon in the top that always appears? I know that means the hacker is on my phone through Bluetooth. See!?
Me: That’s actually just a status indicator. Don’t worry about it. It’ll always come back there it’s normal. You know, your phone can do a lot of stuff by itself.
User: Yeah right. It does it by itself. I’m not stupid you know!! *storms off*
What the hell?6 -
!dev
I think someone needs to turn the weather off and on again here. The dry thunderstorm that woke me up is now a hail storm. And its humid. And warm.
I'm on the West Coast, this is new England/east coast weather. Wtf.23 -
Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite' (BBC)
https://bbc.com/news/...
I could easily point you to various tweet storms by people who criticise my 'white cis male' behaviour, while at the same time cursing more than I ever do.
I'm trying to get rid of my outbursts, and be more polite about things, but technically wrong is still technically wrong, and I won't start accepting bad code just to make people feel better about themselves.9 -
EoS1: This is the continuation of my previous rant, "The Ballad of The Six Witchers and The Undocumented Java Tool". Catch the first part here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The Undocumented Java Tool, created by Those Who Came Before to fight the great battles of the past, is a swift beast. It reaches systems unknown and impacts many processes, unbeknownst even to said processes' masters. All from within it's lair, a foggy Windows Server swamp of moldy data streams and boggy flows.
One of The Six Witchers, the Wild One, scouted ahead to map the input and output data streams of the Unmapped Data Swamp. Accompanied only by his animal familiars, NetCat and WireShark.
Two others, bold and adventurous, raised their decompiling blades against the Undocumented Java Tool beast itself, to uncover it's data processing secrets.
Another of the witchers, of dark complexion and smooth speak, followed the data upstream to find where the fuck the limited excel sheets that feeds The Beast comes from, since it's handlers only know that "every other day a new one appears on this shared active directory location". WTF do people often have NPC-levels of unawareness about their own fucking jobs?!?!
The other witchers left to tend to the Burn-Rate Bonfire, for The Sprint is dark and full of terrors, and some bigwigs always manage to shoehorn their whims/unrelated stories into a otherwise lean sprint.
At the dawn of the new year, the witchers reconvened. "The Beast breathes a currency conversion API" - said The Wild One - "And it's claws and fangs strike mostly at two independent JIRA clusters, sometimes upserting issues. It uses a company-deprecated API to send emails. We're in deep shit."
"I've found The Source of Fucking Excel Sheets" - said the smooth witcher - "It is The Temple of Cash-Flow, where the priests weave the Tapestry of Transactions. Our Fucking Excel Sheets are but a snapshot of the latest updates on the balance of some billing accounts. I spoke with one of the priestesses, and she told me that The Oracle (DB) would be able to provide us with The Data directly, if we were to learn the way of the ODBC and the Query"
"We stroke at the beast" - said the bold and adventurous witchers, now deserving of the bragging rights to be called The Butchers of Jarfile - "It is actually fewer than twenty classes and modules. Most are API-drivers. And less than 40% of the code is ever even fucking used! We found fucking JIRA API tokens and URIs hard-coded. And it is all synchronous and monolithic - no wonder it takes almost 20 hours to run a single fucking excel sheet".
Together, the witchers figured out that each new billing account were morphed by The Beast into a new JIRA issue, if none was open yet for it. Transactions were used to update the outstanding balance on the issues regarding the billing accounts. The currency conversion API was used too often, and it's purpose was only to give a rough estimate of the total balance in each Jira issue in USD, since each issue could have transactions in several currencies. The Beast would consume the Excel sheet, do some cryptic transformations on it, and for each resulting line access the currency API and upsert a JIRA issue. The secrets of those transformations were still hidden from the witchers. When and why would The Beast send emails, was still a mistery.
As the Witchers Council approached an end and all were armed with knowledge and information, they decided on the next steps.
The Wild Witcher, known in every tavern in the land and by the sea, would create a connector to The Red Port of Redis, where every currency conversion is already updated by other processes and can be quickly retrieved inside the VPC. The Greenhorn Witcher is to follow him and build an offline process to update balances in JIRA issues.
The Butchers of Jarfile were to build The Juggler, an automation that should be able to receive a parquet file with an insertion plan and asynchronously update the JIRA API with scores of concurrent requests.
The Smooth Witcher, proud of his new lead, was to build The Oracle Watch, an order that would guard the Oracle (DB) at the Temple of Cash-Flow and report every qualifying transaction to parquet files in AWS S3. The Data would then be pushed to cross The Event Bridge into The Cluster of Sparks and Storms.
This Witcher Who Writes is to ride the Elephant of Hadoop into The Cluster of Sparks an Storms, to weave the signs of Map and Reduce and with speed and precision transform The Data into The Insertion Plan.
However, how exactly is The Data to be transformed is not yet known.
Will the Witchers be able to build The Data's New Path? Will they figure out the mysterious transformation? Will they discover the Undocumented Java Tool's secrets on notifying customers and aggregating data?
This story is still afoot. Only the future will tell, and I will keep you posted.6 -
This is the third part of my ongoing series "The Ballad of the Six Witchers and the Undocumented Java Tool".
In this part, we have the massive Battle of Sparks and Storms.
The first part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The second part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5054467/...
Over the last couple sprints and then some, The Witcher Who Writes and the Butchers of Jarfile had studied the decompiled guts of the Undocumented Java Beast and finally derived (most of) the process by which the data was transformed. They even built a model to replicate the results in small scale.
But when such process was presented to the Priests of Accounting at the Temple of Cash-Flow, chaos ensued.
This cannot be! - cried the priests - You must be wrong!
Wrong, the Witchers were not. In every single test case the Priests of Accounting threw at the Witchers, their model predicted perfectly what would be registered by the Undocumented Java Tool at the very end.
It was not the Witchers. The process was corrupted at its essence.
The Witchers reconvened at their fortress of Sprint. In the dark room of Standup, the leader of their order, wise beyond his years (and there were plenty of those), in a deep and solemn voice, there declared:
"Guys, we must not fuck this up." (actual quote)
For the leader of the witchers had just returned from a war council at the capitol of the province. There, heading a table boarding the Archpriest of Accounting, the Augur of Economics, the Marketing Spymaster and Admiral of the Fleet, was the Ciefoh Seat himself.
They had heard rumors about the Order of the Witchers' battles and operations. They wanted to know more.
It was quiet that night in the flat and cloudy plains of Cluster of Sparks and Storms. The Ciefoh Seat had ordered the thunder to stay silent, so that the forces of whole cluster would be available for the Witchers.
The cluster had solid ground for Hive and Parquet turf, and extended from the Connection River to farther than the horizon.
The Witcher Who Writes, seated high atop his war-elephant, looked at the massive battle formations behind.
The frontline were all war-elephants of Hadoop, their mahouts the Witchers themselves.
For the right flank, the Red Port of Redis had sent their best connectors - currency conversions would happen by the hundreds, instantly and always updated.
The left flank had the first and second army of Coroutine Jugglers, trained by the Witchers. Their swift catapults would be able to move data to and from the JIRA cities. No data point will be left behind.
At the center were thousands of Sparks mounting their RDD warhorses. Organized in formations designed by the Witchers and the Priestesses of Accounting, those armoured and strong units were native to this cloudy landscape. This was their home, and they were ready to defend it.
For the enemy could be seen in the horizon.
There were terabytes of data crossing the Stony Event Bridge. Hundreds of millions of datapoints, eager to flood the memory of every system and devour the processing time of every node on sight.
For the Ciefoh Seat, in his fury about the wrong calculations of the processes of the past, had ruled that the Witchers would not simply reshape the data from now on.
The Witchers were to process the entire historical ledger of transactions. And be done before the end of the month.
The metrics rumbled under the weight of terabytes of data crossing the Event Bridge. With fire in their eyes, the war-elephants in the frontline advanced.
Hundreds of data points would be impaled by their tusks and trampled by their feet, pressed into the parquet and hive grounds. But hundreds more would take their place. There were too many data points for the Hadoop war-elephants alone.
But the dawn will come.
When the night seemed darker, the Witchers heard a thunder, and the skies turned red. The Sparks were on the move.
Riding into the parquet and hive turf, impaling scores of data points with their long SIMD lances and chopping data off with their Scala swords, the Sparks burned through the enemy like fire.
The second line of the sparks would pick data off to be sent by the Coroutine Jugglers to JIRA. That would provoke even more data to cross the Event Bridge, but the third line of Sparks were ready for it - those data would be pierced by the rounds provided by the Red Port of Redis, and sent back to JIRA - for good.
They fought for six days and six nights, taking turns so that the battles would not stop. And then, silence. The day was won, all the data crushed into hive and parquet.
Short-lived was the relief. The Witchers knew that the enemy in combat is but a shadow of the troubles that approach. Politics and greed and grudge are all next in line. Are the Witchers heroes or marauders? The aftermath is to come, and I will keep you posted.4 -
Hail Adventurer,
By Linus, do not fear what you see
and curse not I, but those before me
hold steady in the storms to come
brace for bugs, wherever from
I pass on to you, the light of PHP
Use it well, to fight against scrutiny
if it works, keep it so, ask not why
my time is over, while yours is nigh1 -
Do you have storms that way that public transport trains aren't moving for multiple days? Almost entirely northern Germany is without trains for the last 5 days....2
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Stay safe all my other Aussie Dev friends currently getting pelted with all the storms in the east...
(Yes we are still on fire for anyone who isn't Aussie)11 -
Sorta rant.
Now that this drama shite is calming down, here's my tuppence on how connections management should be implemented.
We really need something that is in between blocking and doing nothing. This, in my opinion, is temporary silencing. Having the ability to mute a person or rant, or notifications altogether, for a set period of time would be very useful when a situation needs de-escalating. As this social network (let's not beat around the bush, this is a social network) grows in size, this will be a handy tool for calming storms without burning bridges permanently.
To sum up, I think it would be a good idea to have three available options for notification muting:
- mute notifications/this person/rant for 24 hours
- mute notifications/this person/rant for 7 days
- mute this person/rant forever
As for implementation, I'd wrap up the call to the user's notification assembly like so:
If(!notifBlocked(<typeofnotif>)
{
notif.push()
}
And use a date field in the DB to handle timescales.
Also, I suggest the addition of this tag specifically for suggestions, just so we're not all using different tags
@dfox3 -
I've been busting my ass all evening, trying to land a job before anyone catches wind that I lost mine. I mean, I've got a wife and two kids to support!! Anyway, my daughter storms in after being out from dawn till dusk and starts going at it with me, I'm so stressed I feel like I'm trying to debug a complex program with a thousand errors popping up every minute . Now she's giving me the silent treatment, just another thing to add to the stress pile... sigh. Guess I'll keep pounding the pavement. If anyone has any helpful tips, please share. :-(
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1 -
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Clean-Up: After removal, we clean up the area and offer additional services like stump grinding if needed.
Serving Atlanta and Surrounding Areas
Located at 1715 Nekoma St, Marietta, GA, Richmond Tree Experts GA proudly serves Atlanta and the surrounding areas. Whether you live in downtown Atlanta or in the outskirts, our team is ready to provide the professional tree removal services you need.
Contact Richmond Tree Experts GA for Tree Removal in Atlanta
When you need expert tree removal services in Atlanta, GA, trust Richmond Tree Experts GA to get the job done safely and efficiently. Our team of certified arborists is here to handle all your tree removal needs with care and professionalism.
Call us today at +1 (770) 974-3964 for a free consultation or to request an estimate. We’re here to help you with any tree care needs you may have.
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SOLUTION FOR CRYPTO SCAM HIRE SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
YOU CAN REACH OUT TO THEM ON THEIR CONTACT INFO BELOW:
Email: spartan tech (@) cyber services . c o m OR support(@) spartan tech group retrieval. o r g
Website: h t t p s : / / spartan tech group retrieval . o r g
WhatsApp: + 1 ( 9 7 1 ) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Telegram: + 1 ( 5 8 1 ) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
I had built my mining enterprise with precision and aspiration, powering my rigs with clean energy and keeping my painstakingly acquired Bitcoin reserves in state-of-the-art cold storage. My dream of economic freedom and technological triumph was found in a wallet worth $340,000 in Bitcoin. And then one day a one-in-a-trillion solar flare hit with the impact of a thousand suns. That magnificent burst of energy was my ruin as it toasted my mining gear and wiped out my cold storage, leaving my digital riches in ashes. I was devastated. I stared at the charred remnants of my rigs, shocked as if the blaze itself from the sun had stolen my future and all my dreams were evaporated in a single blinding moment. In desperation I turned to my fellow workers in the mine, hoping that there was a ray of hope in the eyes of those who had weathered similar storms. A seasoned miner, whose survival tales of overcoming the chaotic cryptocurrency landscape were the stuff of legend, attested to the capability of SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. He assured me that their team of engineers had a magical ability for money recovery from even the worst of hardware malfunctions. I clung to it as a miner would cling to a rich ore vein. I reached out to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL and explained my case. They were quick and reassuring in their reply. Their engineers sprang into action with a zeal and focus that was like a rescue operation of utmost importance. They used advanced data reconstruction techniques to dig through the wreckage of my hacked cold storage, meticulously extracting every scrap of my personal keys as if they were unwinding an ancient digital manuscript. Their process was thorough, systematic, and breathtaking. Twelve anxious and drawn-out days later, the breakthrough came. My wallet had been found and all the last satoshis of my $340,000 stash were mine again. It was sheer relief, a blend of euphoria and shock which felt close to miraculous. If SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL can outsmart the relentless sun and restore what was irretrievably lost, then nothing is too impossible for them. Their expertise not only recovered my cash but also restored my faith in the endurance of technology and human ingenuity. I now share my story with everybody who is faced with a comparable crisis, confident that these SPARTAN can retrieve anything and turn even the worst cosmic disasters into a victory for all.
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REACH OUT TO SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY TO RECOVER SCAM OR STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY
WhatsApp+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
I Thought I’d Lost Everything, My Crops, My Savings, My Future! I'm a third-generation farmer, and like most of my family, I have weathered storms, both the literal and economic varieties. Nothing, though, could have prepared me for the flood that swept through my farm and nearly drowned my future. Over the past five years, I had amassed a $120,000 Bitcoin buffer in silence as a hedge against unstable crop prices. It was my shield against poor harvests and market crashes.
And then the flood came. It wasn't rain, it was the wrath of nature. Water flooded into my office, turning documents into pulp and sending my computers floating around like lumber. My hardware wallet, the sole bulwark between me and that $120,000, was submerged in muddy water. When the skies finally cleared, I held the waterlogged device in my hand, praying fervently that it would still work. It didn't.
Panic ensued. The soybeans were ruined, the barn needed to be repaired, and now my electronic savings, the one thing I thought was sacrosanct was gone. I couldn't tell my wife; she had already been up to her knees helping shovel sludge out of our home.
Desperate, I had put it on an agriculture technology site. I had cried and written, praying that someone somewhere would know what to do. A user responded with a username that turned out to be my savior, Salvage Asset Recovery.
I called them the next day, preparing for robot voice or a bait-and-switch sales pitch. But to my surprise, I spoke with human compassion, patience, and understanding. I unloaded my story, and they listened like neighbors calling after a tornado. They worked immediately, using fancy data reconstruction tools I couldn't even understand.
Every day, they updated me in simple terms. I was anxious, but their professionalism calmed me down. On the ninth day, I got the call. They had recovered my wallet. All the Bitcoins were intact. I was so relieved that I nearly kissed my filthy boots.
When they heard about the flooding damage, they even discounted part of their fee. That touched me more than the rain. Salvage Asset Recovery didn't just restore my savings, they restored my trust in people. They are heroes in my book, and thanks to them, my family's future is once again set on stable ground.
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