So, I applied for a job. People tend *not* to answer my applications, probably because my resume very clearly states I implemented malloc in fasm, among other things.

I imagine them going like "Sir, this is a Wendy's", or rather "we're looking for a 10X rockstar AnalScript ZAZQUACH mongoose-deus puffery quarter-stack developer". Fair enough, I certainly don't fit that bill.

But this time I not only got an answer, the guy went like "I'm impressed". Is this... recognition? From a human? What?

Fellas, I cannot process this emotion. Being frank, it's not even about the job. But willfully going against the idiocy of the industry standard, and then seeing that utterly deranged move actually amounting to something -- no matter how small -- is quite uncanny.

And of fucking course, it's a Perl job. Figures. Great minds think alike.

Things a wise man would say.

Day 1

"I'M NOT DOING THAT !"

Have you ever typed up an interesting rant, only to accidentally click outside of the rant editor and have the whole damn thing disappear?

Ok DevRant, you get my "your number one" today

🖕🏼

Google didn't implement their own straightjacket APIs correctly but sunset Manifest V2 out of pure greed so now authenticated proxies don''t work in Chrome and Chromium-based browsers.

70% of sales commissions should be redirected to engineers.

Stressful day considering actual work I did amounts to one like of SQL

As interesting as embedded linux is, if you ever try to do something with GPU acceleration. Stop! Go organize a spot with a psychiatrist first. You will need it!

I love them shitty scammy singles dating ads.

"Hot Single Volcanos Are Looking For Dates In Your Area."

And

"once you play this game, your friends won't be seeing much of you!"

Also merry chrysler!

When did avocados become so popular?

10 years ago almost no one knew what they were and now they're more prevalent than hummus 🥲

What plans do you have for Christmas..?

My Christmas plan - 25 commits and 25 different snacks 🥨

What do you call a suspicious looking laptop? Asus

"experience using Gantt charts preferred"

hahaha what a weird requirement

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

challenge accepted

Biggest scaling challenge?
Growing 1.80m. Took me 19 years

FUN CHALLENGE

1. Open an incognito browser window
2. navigate to devrant.com
3. enter your username and password
4. open this rant/post
5. post a comment "SUCCESS"

6. do all of the above w/o using your hands (e.g. use your toes)

Who fucking leaves port 3306 open to the fucking internet? You're a medical practice too.

Web api response with a 200 status code

{
error: ".......",
errorCode: "..."
}

Grinds my gears

Unfortunately start has stopped!

The other story is when you bring Tech Scammer to an emulated environment :D

Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline

Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐

If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project

Look at what I just found reorganizing my closet!
Ubuntu 5.10 from when they actually used to mail a free physical copy to try it. It's the third release of the OS and the one that started the alphabetical naming convention with Breezy Badger. Might give it a nostalgic try tomorrow 😁

When you work for school IT you find these kinds of things sometimes when cleaning the office. And yes it's fully functional

I can't believe I've just wasted 2 DAYS of my vacation to properly configure logging in my project...

2 fucking days!!! For something as trivial (yet vital) as logging!!!

FUCK

C=consultant
M=Me
D=my Dumb boss

M: so how are you guys planning to implement the block all accounts feature?
C: oh it should be easy! We will just loop over every account and lock it!
M: what about implementing a flag that just blocks anyone from accessing the site till further notice?
C: what? I’m sure it’ll work. Just need a list of all accounts, we don’t need anything fancy!
M: what happens when we want to revert back to the pre-block state?
C: oh, so we will just unblock everybody
M: even people who were previously blocked for good reasons?
C: i guess so, unless you think otherwise
M: we r….
D: listen! We just need to be able to block all accounts, who cares about this details! So long as we block all accounts! We need this nuclear option in case something bad happens…
M: but what about when that bad thing passes and…
D: when it passes it passes who cares!

Arghhh so much rage here… like first at the stupid engineering design of looping over all of the accounts instead of using a simple flag. Like 1 http call (from one microservice to another) is a lot better than O(n)… not to mention, we won’t have to deal with failures and retries.

And second for my boss being a dumbass… ok you deal with being to afraid to unblock people after we used this “genius nuclear option”!

Need my vaccine receipt to go to a wedding. And I’m in line to get the pdf document. On the one hand this is some cool implementation for a load balancer, on the other hand this so strange… be online in a line to get a document -.0

So a friend came up with this funny idea today to make a discord bot which translates input to a custom morse alphabet consisting of E's.

Instead of .- ..- ...---...
We got eE eeE eeeEEEeee
It's beautiful.

Fuck Xcode. Worthless fucking piece of fucking crap.

Cache memory is the worst invention ever.

I don't like vue.

Anyone who left their workstation unlocked and unattended would come back to find their background replaced with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.