So today I lost around two hours because I solved a bug before trying to reproduce it 👏👏👏
The client reports the bug, I open up VS and already go to the source file that might be affecting it, see a variable assignment that was just outside of the If statement it was supposed to be in, and after that I try to reproduce the error.
Guys, please, be smarter than me next time.

Copying a Perler bead craft.

I now understand why ink jet printers are temperamental.

How does a DJ delete 'bass' table?

DROP bass

Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂

Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.

Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better

Made the mistake of telling friends and family I know how to make websites.

Sorry I can't make you a Airbnb like website for $200 🙃

> Open google chrome console (F12)
> Press Ctrl + Shift + P (or Cmd + Shift + P)
> Type "dark theme"
> Press enter

Don't thank me, just my duty

Mom : why were you late?
Me : Got lot of bugs in office.
Mom : Is everyone alright? Did you kill them?
Me : No mom we fix them.
Mom : I thought we kill them.
How humane are you guys.

IT guys

Protip: If you want developers <30 years old, migrate to git from svn.

I don't get 50 shades of grey.

They should have called it: "256 shades of gray unless you're on 10bit HDR, then its 1024 shades of grey"

That would have made much more sense

I like how Google basically kicked itself...

So foobar, seems Copy is disabled now.

But I just discovered that in Chrome, I can drag the highlighted text out of it to copy it.

😂😂😂

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Current me

Found another gem from government's website

Dev's debugging paradise

Windows being Windows 😂😂

Sometimes I daydream about one of my projects to become successful. Then I realize that Google Chrome has 56.000 open issues and I regret

*me working at a huge company as a customer*
Ok, show me what you got.
* Company throws some of the most gruesome and ugly scripts at me*
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE WORD INIT SYSTEM? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE TERM PRIVILEGE SEPARATION OR BACKUP? DO YOU KNOW THAT A SVN REPO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE 500GB BIG? AND A JENKINS JOB SHOULD NOT RUN 8HOURS!
Company: you ain't have seen nothing yet.

And they were so right...almost can't bear it anymore

Creepy AF!

I have just solved a problem that had already several days ago: to apply the elimination of a specific color in a photography of animal fabrics.

Thank you SimpleCV <3