Details
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AboutI'm a programmer at Podium.co in Lehi UT.
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Skillsjs, Elixir, OCaml
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LocationLehi, UT
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Github
Joined devRant on 7/20/2016
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Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."35 -
When the client asks you to build him a website "like" booking.com but his budget doesn't even pay a weekend on a cheap hotel...6
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somebody should have made a system restore point on the universe before Trump was nominated so we can go back once people realize what a bad idea this was4
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That akward moment when your App finally takes down Pokemon Go down from the first place to second in AppStore but you can not be Happy about it π. Katwarn warned the users about the incidents of munich #prayformunich. Good to know people still care about the important things. π
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Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"13 -
Am I the only one who hates the idea of using CMS (WordPress, Joomla, Drupal, etc) to build websites?55
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New "dev" at our company. One of his first questions. "Could an if clause have two conditions?"... /me *facepalm* ... where did my boss find this Person and what did he told him?4
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OK, another crappy joke time.
0 went to a bar and asked for a vodka shot. The bartender gave him 2 vodka shots. He said, "For you 1 is COMPLEMENTary"!3



















