Details
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AboutI'm a fast typer and a slow eater. I enjoy long walks off short piers. I am the Florida Man.
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SkillsJavaScript, HTML, CSS, Python, Lua, C#, c, c++, Java, XML/ XAML, VB.net, MySQL, php, Android, Node, Linux, Windows, Scratch.
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LocationAmerica (38.8976074, -77.0365946)
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 1/8/2017
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My boss published someones resume online to make fun of it because it was handwritten. He at least blurred out that persons name but not the past jobs & other info...
It took me 30 minutes on linkedin to find the person that I believe it is.
Isn't this a GDPR violation lol6 -
Project Managers will ask six figures salaries to whip an entire team of developers because it's fundamental to add AI to a fucking toilet by the end of the week, then walk around like they understood everything about life. Given how that's what they do for a living and we're not currently gunning them down on sight, I can't say they're entirely wrong.5
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AI can take my job. I can't do this anymore.
Best of luck waking up 7 A.M on Mondays, logging in to work and telling in those 10 am scrum meetings “I’m still wOrking on the sAme tiCket as last friDay.”
Enjoy my job graybot.
I’m gonna go outside and remember what sunlight looks like. Maybe touch grass. Maybe grow crops. Maybe herd some cows. Idk. Might start a farm or might scream into the wind.2 -
We had a teambuilding last Friday. We went indoor karting and it was a lot of fun. My project manager does not have a driving license and it did show.
The karts have a boost button (electric karts) and my project manager used it before a turn and then slammed into wall. Now he got a few bruised ribs haha
Also, it's still funny to me that I was part of the teambuilding during my resignation but i'm not gonna complain about that. :D5 -
Programmer's Brain at 2 AM:
Bug appears at 2 PM: “I'll fix it later.”
Bug appears at 2 AM:
“This is a personal attack. I will not sleep until this line of code regrets its existence.”
💻🧃Now running on Redbull and vengeance.3 -
When Russians talk about someone who is still a part of their group but is shunned, they use the word нерукопожатный — literally “nonhandshakable”.7
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Practical question: did anyone figure out how to pay less taxes in the UK (or somewhere else in Europe)?
I can’t lie it becomes pretty unsustainable…10 -
Fuck, my company is doing an all-hands meeting / Division townhall... AND EVERY DEPARTMENT HEAD IS DOING SOME STUPID D-DAY REFERENCE.
Cringe.2 -
using a built-in terminal in vscode instead of your custom dedicated one is like buying your phone from a carrier. Or like marrying your first gf/bf and living with them together without ever trying to date someone else first. Or getting your sprite from mcdonalds.14
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Tbh, ostream is a nice guy. Once you get over his
- Racism towards Germans
- Racism towards Jews
- Closeted racism towards anyone, really
- Psychotic episodes of rage
- Borderline criminal tendencies
- Bipolar disorder
It's actually fun to talk to him. You have to invest time and patience though.
Love you ostream bro.6 -
My project mananger let it slip during the sprint review that the upper managers are making plans to do lay offs / cut the fat.
What an ideal moment to hand in my resignation.5 -
Polish military has the official "8 wounds" chevron that is given to those who sustained 8 battle wounds. Do you know why Americans don't have those? Because you have to be Polish to get wounded eight times in battle and still be alive enough to wear this thing on your uniform. Poles are built different.13
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we don't really need data types. By default, everything should be string. When you do addition, when the string has nothing but digits, commas and periods, they should be parsed added as numbers. Else, they should be concatenated. If that string-number formatting doesn't match any conventional formatting of any locale, it's a string. Same number-inferring behavior should be implemented when comparing things. There should be no type casting because there is just one type, so every comparison is type-exact. "true" and "false" are special strings that won't throw an error during comparison. Comparing two strings using less, more, less than or equal and more than or equal always throw an error.
Dates are ISO strings. Every other thing is not a date.
We basically sieve the data starting with the strictest conditions down to more forgiving conditions, then down to no conditions at all where it will be interpreted as just string. ISO date requires a very specific formatting, so we should check that first. Then, let's check for a formatted number. Then, a boolean. If nothing clicked, it's a string.
Oh, and every string is automatically trimmed, so it can't start or end with any kind of space.
No classes, no procedures, no constants, no switch operator. Also, no methods, just a lot of helper functions.
Performance will be lacking compared to languages with static types, but performance is not a priority here — this is the language for code monkeys and their AI counterparts. It should only be used for making trivial client-server prototype apps that could've been replaced by Excel if only people knew how to use it, at passable quality, that work reasonably fast on modern hardware.
Those apps will be deprecated because the company went out of business/because the project was proven to not be financially viable in several months anyway.
UI should be rendered not using a webview, but using a lightweight cross-platform UI engine written in a proper language like C++. There should be no semantic tags — every UI element acts like a div would. Everything is measured in pixels and milliseconds. All colors are #rrggbbaa. All vector graphics are SVG, all raster graphics are AVIF. All sounds are Opus. All videos are AV1. All UIs are reactive, Vue style, e.g. you change a variable and the UI updates itself in the right way every time.
Add some junior devs paired with GPT-4.5 or any super-expensive LLM, sprinkle with some Extreme Go-Horse management style (https://hackernoon.com/you-might-be...), and boom, we recreated Zergs but in the tech space. Let's solve software by brute force.11 -
A colleague used AI to transcript our latest sprint retrospective and now they have in writing the very long list of insults I addressed towards the management. I'm cooked9
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pls stop putting talking into music mixes. you're ruining my jive. I don't wanna hear your opinions. just play the math noises7
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Man, am I glad my company pays for Excel. It is truly worth the hassle of it not working half the time.13