Do you people know that problem, where you sit down and code for 20 minutes, and suddenly it's 4 hours later?

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

When you implement a 3rd party payment system, and it doesn't work... and their support can't fix the problem... So you debug their code and send them the revised code and they update their GIT repo and update their documenting.

How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.

How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide

GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.

He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.

I'm proud to be a rubber duck.

Most technical issues summed up in one picture!

That moment when you've spent an entire weekend trying to solve a problem spanning hundreds of lines of code but then you find out there is a library for it

I'm here, wide awake at 4:30 am... Not because my brain is stuck on a problem, but because I am so happy with the code I wrote that I'm too excited to fall asleep.

I just spent 20m debugging.

Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.

Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.

Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.

Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.

*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*

what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.

...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.

Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."

Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."

Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*

Me: "Maybe--"

Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."

Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*

My friend called me for help with her CSS. I was like no problem go to Teamviewer.com and install that software. 10 mins later she called saying teamviewer didn't fix her code. I'm done!

Light themes in any code/text editor.

Can you take a look at this?
Sure no problem.

Proceed to have my eyes melted by a burning white light.

So I got an answer on Stack overflow

Answerer basically said "finding the error is tedious so I re-wrote your code"

They changed about 15 lines in their answer. I combed over it and found that I needed just one.

I put an answer myself, saying which line was missing (as the other answer didn't highlight the actual solution, and rather re-implemented my code)

My clear, concise answer was deleted by moderator for "Not adding anything new" (Except what the exact answer was to my problem, I guess)

Not my fucking problem. Make your own Q&A site harder to use, as if I give a fuck.

I have the habit of immediately closing parentheses after opening them, then insert the code.

The problem is, this applies to hand writing as well. Because you cannot move characters in a hand written exam I spend half of the time writing, then removing parentheses.
Whyyy brain

Spent hours finding the problem in code. Suddenly something happens! Code works! Now I'm spending hours finding what made it work.

Programmer's hardest tasks..

Spend around 8 hours trying to adapt code I found on the internet to my problem, without success.

Spend around half an hour implementing it myself, with success.

Guess I should put more trust in my skills...

The Zone. When its just you, the problem, and the code.

I want to code, but I have one problem ...

Started learning C++, coming from Python.

Just spent ~25 minutes searching for a problem - My code wasn't working like I expected.

Problem: Didn't compiled the program, kept running old code, didn't noticed

Asking a question on Stackoverflow, explained as best as I can, provided links code everything.

5 minutes later I see a notification. Wooooo someone will help me fix my problem.

Some Indian dude suggested an edit.

You know what his edit was?
...
CAPITALIZING THE FUCKING LINKS

Me: Why is there such a delay between the app and the hardware device?

Colleague: Ah, same old same old, TCP is just an inefficient protocol. We should stop development and build our own replacement to TCP.

(PS. The actual problem was his code)

Fuck me. I just posted a huge post on StackOverflow with images and huge puddles of code everywhere because I had been stuck since yesterday and five FUCKING minutes after asking, I read the code on the website (Pretending to be an outsider solving my own problem) and find the FUCKING TYPO.

First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.

Have you experienced solving a programming problem for hours, and when you finally got it, you just stare at your monitor and admire your code?

You just sit there smiling and thinking to yourself, finally you did something right. ehehehehehe

Happy Sunday buddies!

I love writing and using my own apps!

Was just using 2 of them but found a new annoyance...

No problem! Open the source code, add the functionality, publish and install 😆

10 minutes after... All good and better 😁

A repressed memory just popped into my head:

At my former job I tried to explain a problem I was having to the tech lead. Then, without fully understanding the problem, he decided to rewrite my code that I had been working on for weeks. His code, that took him 2 days to write, went straight to master without peer review.

He introduced about 10 regressions…

Queue the client meeting where the client says “These bugs came back, and we thought they were fixed already…” (They demo the bugs)

So obviously I say “I’ll let Techlead address that one.”

He just mumbles some stuff, and goes quiet for the rest of the meeting. Finally, when the meeting was wrapping up we hear “It’s Fixed!”

Everyone was like ???

“That bug from earlier, it’s fixed, it should work now….”

Would you believe this guy decided to code during the entire meeting, clearly missing important feedback and information that would help him understand the problem. Again, pushing to master without review….

Not to mention that we were talking about 10 regressions…

Whenever i have a problem in code, i visit here to think. it works everytime 👍

"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."

Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.

Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.

If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.

Goddamit!

So the CSS code I'm working on has a terrible vertical alignment problem on every browser except IE11. Using `display: flex` =_=

I'm not joking this alignment glitch is driving me nuts! Deadline tomorrow.

Hi all. I know it's been a while. I've forgotten what days off are. However, knowing you all are here and understand the terror of horrendous code gives me comfort while dealing with statements like "the problem isn't with our code, we haven't touched it in 14 years" while discussing database upgrades (3, in fact).

Come in. Edit one line of code. Fix the problem. Walk out feeling like a God.

Hunted a bug for 8 hours, thinking it was a problem in my code....

Found out it was someone else's code generator that injected the bug...

Contacted the concerned dev... Had to convince him for another 3 hours that it was his change to the code that caused the issue. He is still sure that his change can't break the code...... What the fuck are you..? A fucking God programmer who never makes mistakes??

I mean how hard is it to just accept when I just proved it to you??

This just makes me mad every time.

I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.

If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.

Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.

After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.

Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.

But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)

0. Problem
1. Thinking of an algo
2. Writing a code
3. Compile
4. Compile Error
5. Fixing bugs
...
6. Finally compiled!!
7. Running a test
8. Run time error
9. Fixing bugs
...
10. Finally I can see the result !!!!
11. Shit!

12. LOGICAL ERROR :/

that feeling when you code from 11 pm to 2 am to solve a problem and then decide to google it and see that you could solve it in 2 min or less

Me (as a Senior developer): How will you solve this problem using regular expression?

Junior developer: *Explains*

Me: Good

Junior developer: I truly feel like a programmer when I code regular expressions

Me: Now, we have two problems.

Me: *spends 7ish hours looking for bug in insanely poorly written javascript file to no avail.*

My boss: *spends 30 minutes reading through code* Found the problem-- this function call was missing a parameter.

Me: *wtfHowDidIMissThat*

When you write something cool but the problem can be solved in an easier way and you have to dump it 😭

So my colleague today was writing some javascript to multiple numbers, and he was getting very frustrated after a while trying to debug the code. the problem was he wrote the following:

AxB

but what he actually meant is

A*B

So yea @_@ ...

Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"

Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."

Manager: "Didn't you install it?"

Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."

Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"

(Just....)

Probably the biggest problem of my life was starting to code at age 28 instead of, let's say 14...

thought I'd check why I'm getting connection timeout on my app
I think the problem is me and not the code

Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

That moment when your function runs problem free on the first try.

The feeling of "Holy shit" and "I think I just spent an entire day's worth of luck in this snippet of code"

I don't think I'm gonna go outside today.

the evolution of a js dev:

solve a problem with somebody else’s code

solve a problem with your own code

solve a problem with npm install

That moment you wrote ~100 lines of code that doesn't fix your problem which was just a typo

See, the problem with University students beginning programming is that they think that they're the hottest shit just because they know how to open cmd.exe. Since I'm a mentor, I have to give them pro tips while helping them through problems. I can't count the amount of times I've repeated "solve the problem on a notebook, write down how you should approach it before you begin typing your code, otherwise you'll end up spending more time debugging." They don't like to listen, cuz they're the next Zuckerberg. The following day I get a bunch of emails asking why their code doesn't work.

Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.

Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..

Boss: No No please, this is urgent

Me: Okay..

My code:

Me, talking to a colleague:
"No, thats impossible. The problem can not be in my code. Let me show you why. You see, the code does this, and than it goes here, and then… oohhhh…. I’ve found the bug."

It's surprising the times I actually become lazy to code:

It's not when I need to probe the problem to figure out possible solutions, but rather when I know exactly what the solution is, but will require tons of code.

*Intensely staring the screen and solving a problem in my head, I can feel I'm close to the final answer, the answer to the truth, the holy Line of Code and that it will forever chang-*
PM: hey, do you know why my mouse doesn't click anymore?

...

So I recently started going to a university, and I am being taught C. I have previously learnt C++ in school so its all pretty easy for me compared to those who are programming for the first time.
So, one of my classmates run into a problem with their code so he asks to check where he went wrong. So, the teacher comes and checks his code and then concluded that the compiler is F****** broken!! And i am like FFS theres a missing semi-colon, even the compiler pointed it out....just because you couldn't figure out the problem doesn't mean the compiler is broken.

Spent an hour trying to figure out what was wrong in my socket disconnect detection code because it was constantly reporting disconnects when it shouldn't have... Only to find it was a pinched cable causing the problem. Meaning it actually did work the entire time.

Aha! The problem that you solved after a week long of thinking was already solved in 1800 AD and the code looks 100x better and optimal than yours.

1. Identify the problem
2. Come up with a clever solution
3. Refactor half of your code
4. Watch it fail horribly because you're such an idiot it's a bloody miracle you keep breathing on your own
5. Repeat

Error code PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Computer

My code was doing the exact oposite of what I wanted it to do and it took me about 2 hours to find out that strcmp() returns 0 when the strings match, problem solved, fml.

I had a problem with my code, it doesn't compile. Then my teacher came and clicked on the Debug-Button. In this moment Windows crashed in a Bluescreen.

Spent 4 hours trying to fix a problem which fixed in just 4 lines of code.

My wife feels sorry for me.

Some people hate a language due to problem they faced while using it. I simply hate some language because code written in it doesn't looks good.

In my uni course "Algorithms and Data structures" we use Java. Fine. Definitely not my preferred language but it's not like I have a choice.

Anyway, our teacher uploads code files for us to use as reference/examples. The problem is, they look like this. Not only does she not indent the code, she also uses a charset that is not utf-8.

In the rare cases where she does indent the code, she uses THREE, yes THREE spaces...

The worst kind of problem you can have while coding is an inconsistent or intermittent bug... For code you didn't originally write...

When you get stuck on a problem and you just stare at your code until you don't see any code.

You only see the woman in the red dress....

Your code is supposed to solve the primary problem you have. It is not supposed to create problems and solve those problems you do not have initially.

Trying to discover why the DB listener wasn't being called in my app for like 30min. Many log messages, no exceptions or errors, DB rules revised, DB content revised, changed constructors, simplified code and nothing worked... problem: the phone's wifi was disconnected.

So, a friend of mine just got a NullPointerException from his shitty Java code, and decided to fix the problem by catching the exception.
Great fix bro, real smooth..

Web dev prob:

When you modify a code then refresh your browser, It doesn't change anything and you think your code has the problem, Modifies 100+ lines and refreshed the page, still nothing happens. Asked someone about it, Fix? Fucking cache! Fuck you google chrome!

Tech lead doesn't focus on the fact that I solved the problem, only says stuff like:
- "yeah but this is why we are Agile"
- "did someone else review your code?"
- "you can't expect me to have to understand what the program does"
- "did you get permission from X to solve this problem?"
- "talk to someone else if you have any problem. only come to me with answers"

I guess I don't have to explain I don't like my tech lead.

*Didnt understand anything mathematic back in grade and highschool

*Can understand math in code no problem.

I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥

When you encounter a bug in your code while writing a test and you have absolutely no idea what's wrong...

...and then you see it's a type problem.

When you're trying really hard to figure out a problem with your code, but then just realize you've been sitting there for 40 minutes staring at the screen.

HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :

1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)

FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.

Got stucked in a problem with recursion in php, almost 2 days no sign of progress until i told my co worker how my code works, then i found the error and it work. I think developers need to talk about the code to realize whats wrong with the code.

OSC, or open sound protocol, does not have a Boolean type. instead, the Boolean true has type true and the Boolean false has type false.
what.
well.
at least the problem wasn't in my code?

Am I the only one who still look deep in the Code, try to find a better way of solving a problem after it's already been perfectly solved 🤔

Don't focus too much on learning one specific language. After some coding getting to know a new one is going to be no problem. Focus more on paradigms and maintainable code.
Oh, and don't forget, comments are sometimes way more useful than the actual code.

Sometimes at the end of the day if a solution to a problem seems inefficient I just leave the task rather than writing buggy code. It gives me a day's time, away from the screen, to come up with much better and elegant solution which I eventually code up the next day.
After years of experience I have realised that its better to wait for a day and not write inefficient code rather than trying to fix a hell lot of bugs later.

Yesterday night, pushed code that work normally to prod server, website down, internal server error, too many connection to MySQL server, tried to fix it for 4 hours, nothing to do, removed the new code, still the same problem, in my head, I told myself that I'm not good at programming (not the first time), send an email to the host, they tell me the problem is from them and they fixed it. And now I know I'm not bad enough.

I threw an error into my code to find where the code was having trouble but instead of raising and error it fixes the problem and runs flawlessly

At this point I can't tell if python loves me or hates me

So today my pr needed approval. One of the lines of code created a unique ID using the uuid4 functionality.
I got a reject saying I didn't handle a case where I would get the same uuid twice.
Well, I guess it would be the problem of the developer working on my code in a couple thousands of years 🤷‍♂️

When small things get big and don't work and you wonder for hours what is wrong with your code ... only to find out the problem is in the framework you use.

“Falling in love with code means falling in love with problem solving and being a part of a forever ongoing conversation.”- Kathryn Barrett

It's almost 10 pm now. For some reason, I have a sudden strong urge to code something till morning. The problem is I don't know what to code.

Code review, intern style:

Intern: Here is my pull request ...
Colleague: I see a problem with x, y, z. Could cause memory leaks.
Intern: Oh yeah you are correct, i'll fix that in the next one.
Intern: *merged*

4 yrs ago, had a bitch colleague who came to me with a problem she encounter with her code, so I looked at it then asked her "...it worked yesterday-what happened? "
- and she snap at me "...then my fault ?! We figure it out together..."

I went home after that. Reason is :-
1. I didn't touch your code
2. If you wanted me to check my codes and see if it was my fault - then please say so.
3. If you are trying to make your problem my problem, don't snap at me bitch.

Ugh all but one unit test is passing :-(. I know the code is working- so the problem must be in the test... [add @ignore to test]. Yay they all pass now!

When you've spent hours debugging a problem of session not being saved and there is no error. And then you find this in the code:

try{
save_session();
}catch(Exception $e){}// added by another member of the team

🙈😖🖕🏻

MOCHA YOU FUCKING BITCH, THERE IS A DONE() CALLBACK BEING CALLED IN THIS TEST, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? I WILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING SOURCE CODE. But really mocha test, why u no work so we can both move on with our lives 😣😦😞

The amount of times i go to the toilet and solve a code problem whilst there...

I think all offices should just have toilets for chairs.

*Completes unit testing training*
*Achieves fresh perspective*
*Looks at game code*
*Prepares to right unit tests for that problem method*
*Stares at code as crickets chirp*

My co-worker pointing out there is a problem with my code that isn't implemented 100% yet. Hinting she wanted me to finish it over the weekend.

Yeah FMDL.

I really feel like coding right now, but I don't have time. Problem is: when I do have time and I have to code I probably don't want to anymore.

So I had a problem. MongoDB replica set connection was not accessible to server in another container. I’ve used ChatGPT. Gave it my code. It showed me the things I didn’t know and helped me work out a problem I’ve struggled with for 2 days.

It’s awesome!

ChatGPT is basically StackOverflow 2.0. It’s a tool and a great one. I can’t wait for an actual production level implementation target to software engineers.

P.S. I think co-pilot sucks.

The problem with being a designer and a programmer is that Photoshop and Illustrator is on Windows and I code on Ubuntu.

You have to restart and boot a different OS everytime goddamnit

Your face trying to figure out where's the problem in your code

When I just spent 45 minutes ripping my code apart clueless why something so simple won't work, just to find out that the problem is spelling event.keyCode as event.keycode.. maybe don't code while tired at 1am rookie. Complete moron over here

Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?

Other: But why, what's the problem?

Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@

Me: Hits blocking bug in someone else's code. Everyone's busy and stressed, I'll have a look myself. Find the problem, find associated documentation. In a language I don't really know, so pass this to appropriate dev.
Them: It's not a problem for me.
Me: ... Wut?

I don't work there anymore...

I joined in June to work on a project due to release in July. It released in December.

when your away from your desk so much in a day that the battery on your laptop dies....if I could just sit and code, this wouldn't be a problem!

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

So I had my external HD connected so thought I'd back up my code...

But real into a problem... The git repo.... Currently copying 300,000 files... For just 10 projects...

PM said I modified code that change UI so user may not familiar with. So, how could I know what is user familiar with if PM doesn't include spec or user manual to me.

No one tell me how to solve the problem, since you just want problem to be solve I solved it my way. :)

There’s a guy at work I hate so much. He doesn’t know when a problem shouldn’t exist, he never checks to see if there is a better more maintainable and efficient way to solve a problem, lacks attention to detail, has the attention span of a goldfish, writes shitty overly complicated code, fuuuck

If you talked to this guy in person, you’d think he’s a genius who has it all figured out, but he’s just a professional bullshitter

Not sure if this has been posted here already but if you want to troll someone, replace all the semicolons in their code with the Greek question mark ( ; ) and see how long it takes them to figure out the problem

Finally figured out that 500.30 error.
You won't believe it, but y'all probably will... But I solved my problem by fixing literally one line of code.

This of course pissed me off because this problem persisted for an entire week, even my supervisor could not figure it out.

But I learned so much in failing to find it and making wrong assumptions along the way.

Solving a problem is sometimes just half the battle, the journey along the way counts for something.

My supervisor was super impressed too, so that made me even more happy.

Anyways onto the next problem. 🤪

Went to bed last night with my code not working. Woke up, ran the app and IT WORKED! I have no clue what I did last night it's all a blur, but apparently I fixed the problem in my sleep. #SleepCoder

!rant

Have to do some JS for a web application.

Problem is I'm not a JS expert at all, and there is already existing code.
Gonna be long.

Gimme your energy so I can do it \o/

That moment when you simply can't find a solution to a specific dev problem and you urgently need to finish your code..... I know the feeling.

tfw you code without building for an extended amount of time and it just works. Where is it? Where is that damn problem that you know is there?

Product Owner: There is a major bug with your code it's not working.

I then spend hour looking at code to find out.

It's a content problem!

Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.

Not being able to write code only using pen and paper :/
I had one job interview where they ask me to iterate a tree using my preferred language. I felt so uncomfortable.
And my problem is only the pen and paper.
I'm able to write working code without any code completion even without highlighting in any shitty editor. But when it comes to write code by hand on paper it feels like my programmer brain side turns off.

I find it way easier to read code than ordinary text.

Am I the only one? Do I have a problem?
After the first sentence my I eyes can't focus to keep reading text. This also happens to my native language except from English.

Pulled an all nighter for a project, the next thing i know i am demonstrating my code with the error message i forgot to change which was houston we got a problem, i felt so weird and i was laughing very hard after the project presentation

I'm testing a shitforbrains code in production because I don't have any other options. He went on vacation and said that the code should work, and if it doesn't it is my problem.

I am contemplating taking a shit under his desk and working from home. Then he would have to deal with my shit aswell. Literally.
The tables have turned my friend...

Got hooooot pink coloured pair of beats for my birthday!!! Best gift ever! Two most things I like is music and code this is the perfect gift! Pink is the only problem but fuck it. I love theseeeee!!!

I just solved a recursion problem without using recursion.
Yes, it's roughly 4 times more code, but at least I understand what the hell is happening.

Our teacher gave us some code to better understand c pointers. The only problem is that it spits out a dozen of errors when you try compile it 😂

When you spend more time renaming variables, class names, properties etc.. to achieve perfect code and patterns rather than actually solving the problem. I'm bored now...

If you're stuck with something and just cannot figure out where the issue is in your code, there is nothing that helps you more than talking the problem out with someone.

Most of the time you'll end up figuring out the solution yourself while describing the problem to him/her. =)

Problem with code:
Computer: "Error on line 189: ....."
Me: "But the code ended on line 58 "

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Programming is funny
!false
(its true)

(i wrote it here because devRant allows us to post one rant in 2 hours)

When some one else checks in code by merging a class you wrote, but now they've broken the build .. And some how it's now my problem 😳

The real problem it is that i can write lines of code and build algorithm in a fastest way in the late night.

Meanwhile in the afternoon I just wanna eat pizza and sleep on the sofa.

1. Registering in Stack Overflow
2. Registering in DevRant
3. Thinking my code will run without problem

Stackoverflow is full of pedantic cunts who can’t admit they don’t know how to answer your question, I just spent 20 minutes having 4 people tell me because they didn’t have “the full code” they couldn’t help with the problem, despite by the end of me posting more and more (completely unrelated) code they were LITERALLY complaining because I hadn’t added fucking “#include” statements 😑

On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....

I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.

This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....

Either this or the rubber duck method. :)

Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius!

When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!

Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem

(just happened to me 😅)

Why commenting is important?

If you are commenting a variable or method and you can't find the right way of explaining it, there's a problem with your code

Things you should probably not say in an interview += "I like Rust because I get to write a lot of code before performance starts to become a problem and I have to optimize"

Reading 1 tutorial/ part of the documentation
Trying it on my own
Realize that your code doesn't work
Googling the problem
Fixing it
Repeat

Not actually solving the problem in an error and instead implementing a workaround thinking "no one's going to read this code anyway" when I'm actually just condemning my future self to a lot of hell.

So, I've posted a question on StackOverflow. I was curious about better (in terms of performance and cleaner code) ways to solve a problem. And a fckn dickhead added a comment like this: Why worry about performance?

!rant
I have a question; when I get interrupted while coding (dinner, friends etc) I'm often "stuck" in my head while just thinking about the problem I were to solve in the code. Anyone else have this? Does it have a name and any tips to "let the code go" while not coding?

Just make a program that spits out random strings, run it as code and see if it compiles. If not, repeat. That way, just like the apes typewriter thing, you find the most amazing code that is so complicated, nobody would have thought of, but it solves all of humanities problems, especially the power problem you created by running this code 1000000000000000000000 times parallel.

!rant

Dude, you know nothing about the code that was written. Don't just Google the problem "how to xxx in Python" and send me the first stackoverflow link and tell me "here's the solution."

Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager

Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.

Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.

Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?

Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.

Exec: Can you detail that change for us?

Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

Learning to code is like learning to write when you were younger. It can be sloppy or clean but if you keep at it it'll probably become clean. But, with these sites like code academy that accept only one solution to the problems they present it's as though you're being told that everything you're doing is wrong eventhough you get a solution to the problem in the end. It bugs me that these sites want people to code the exact same way.

When I'm on lunch I stop coding to watch other people code on youtube. Does anyone else have this problem?

By always striving to do better each time. Making code less sloppy every time I write GL code. Better performance everytime I write an algorithm. Lower memory usage every time I write application state. Learning a new trick for an old problem, one at a time.

Learning best practice in one go is impossible, but taking it a bit at a time makes things more reasonable.

I hate it when someone asks me for help in a part of his code, then I find that the problem is the whole code not just that part.

I have 3 options:
- try to make it work, and get lost in his shit, not refactored code.
- tell him that I am not that good so he get out of my face
- kill him, so he can reproduce

PS: just kidding

Is it bad now I seem to take some pleasure whenever I see someone/something on my team blow up and go "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not my code, not my problem"

So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!

The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets

Solution: async and await.

The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.

If you don't understand your code, but it works, then it's not really a problem

i like to code because:
- it's challenging
- it's very personal, it's my way to solve the problem
- in the end i might have something cool that i did myself and that's priceless

Need to do some PHP for my class next week, problem is I hate PHP so I just distracted myself and wrote a bunch of Ruby code today...

Can anyone tell how you yourself to start coding please 😢especially when you you have alot alot alooot of coding that waiting you and you being lazy about it!😢

Repair printers... Somehow writing code translates to the ability to fix any printer problem in their minds.

So it turns out that a lot of writes to S3 is slow, regardless of whether you spent the time to rewrite your code from SAX to JAXB, then Go, then finally C++, thinking the problem was always with your code.

Everyday problem with code. Solve and get new problem. Lol

Our professor takes points off our code if we use tabs (not much, but still).
But the best part is having "few" spaces is also a problem. Seems like using tabs we be a solution then.

Why?!

I think one of my biggest mistakes as a dev in the becoming is to have tried to produce code rather than think code.

The patience to try and understand a problem rather than just solve it.

After spending 2 hours on what seemed like a ridiculously small issue，i know what the problem was before solving it.

Which meant i did take longer to solve it but i DID NOT take the wrong direction. Which would ultimately have come back to my face some time soon.

Coding takes a fuck load of time -_-.

the AI says the code I'm trying to design is very complex a problem, d'awww I'm not a failure 🥺

the solution seems to unironically be to delete half of it and make it far simpler / less features lol

why can't I make my code psychic to what I want, ragh! oh well

That moment when you spend hours on fixing some bug, and finally discover that the problem is in another piece of code..

Literally, I feel I am on dumpiness overflow !

To be able to actually write useful tests BEFORE starting to code, which I guess is really asking for the ability to have a clear set of requirements and a complete mental model of the problem at hand

I just implemented the cookie popup you wanted me to make. And now you give me a call that your tracking code doesn't appear in the source code?

Oh, but you don't see the cookie popup? You saw it right? So you've already set your cookie permissions, probably not to accept tracking cookies. We can check by... what's that?

If I can make the tracking code appear anyway?

...

Yeah, sure, no problem, change will be live in five minutes.

How do you stop anxiety when you can't solve a problem in your code?

When your co-worker asks you to implement a fix for a problem in his code..

Reading yourself into his code, then you see him having fixed the same problem several lines above in another method.

It's a Monday, I've been trying to fix a bug since the morning, I cannot read or write any code. I tried to review a PR, still cannot read the code. Getting frustrated by the slightest problem.

Don't you ever try to translate code from one language to another. Instead grasp the problem and write the solution in the other language itself. You don't want to sit there for hours thinking if hashmaps are a good fit for phps nested arrays.

Oh, you've found a work around for your browser caching? No problem, here's DNS caching so you can fuck with your code again... and not know what the issue is

~ Sincerely, ISP

When your code misbehaves in production and you need all the ducks in the world to fix the problem😂😓

(Marshmallow doing some serious debugging!)

I am an ancient beast called "Humturnal".
..half human..half nocturnal..

I answer life problem and code like a beast at night.
I wake up tired as f**k and I remember nothing in the morning.

When a friend told you that they have a problem and needs a Computer Science student's help ..

.. and it's about a broken flash drive.
I can't even fix my broken C code let alone fix a freaking flash drive.

My code worked without any error, now I am sure there is something perky, if not now, then there will be an issue because of this module... Yes, there will be a problem.

Can my code ever just have only one problem?

what kind of music you listen while you code?

When I am stuck on a problem, I try to get outside and do something physical. Go for a run, jump on the bike. Find it clears my head and helps me to see the code more clearly.

So my day's going pretty well, successfully managed to create a pull request for broken code that breaks more code and run into errors trying to fix it, then spill tea all over my desk/self spazzing trying to fix one child problem like 3 levels deep

Pretty sure I'm the office dunce at this point

what is the weirdest thing (library, framework, code snippet) in your opinion which you've used in production?

we are using a library that on every exception prints for us URL to StackOverflow related problem in the logs

usually the worst drunk coding problem i have is leaving nasty comments in the code about the previous maintainers. Or ranting more vehemently on here than is really warranted... ;)

In other words it doesnt affect my coding, it just affects my social skills.... lol...

I've just discovered by accident that the dumbest way of solving the Hash Code practice problem is way better than my previous solution.
(medium 49509, big 897164)

As a dev, I have to reuse a lot of codes again and again. Some I've written, and some of them I found after stucking my head for 1 hour on StackOverflow.

Now, the problem is every time I need the code, I have to search again. Some of them I saved in note apps but organizing code snippets & finding them with a quick search is a mess.

I was thinking of building a code snippet organizer where developers can save code snippets in any language (have syntax highlighting), search quickly, share with anyone, create buckets, manage multiple accounts etc.

Let me know if it's a good idea or not. Would you be interested in using something like this? Is this even a real problem or it's just me?

Fixes one error in code.
24 more errors in code.

I have to press ctrl+s to save current changes every short time in coding..
I think one human should write a plugin or script for this problem😆

Management fixes our slow running buggy code problem by exactly copying every file into separate version control depots so that Dept A does have to deal with Dept B bugs and Dept B does have to deal with Dept A bugs to the same files.

Be me first time using python forced into it.
Get frustrated with all the syntax errors you make and Python's cancerous horseshit syntax.
Chase a weird desync problem between C code client and Python raspberry pi controller.
Make 7000 changes to the code and run out of ideas because nothing makes sense anymore.
Decide to go ahead and write C code.
Find out you've been writing code to a different file and running an older version of the code.
I'm a retatd FML don't be like me.

You ever look at code you wrote just recently and wonder how you resolved a problem you couldn't resolve sober while you were drunk?

Advent of code is awesome. If anybody isn’t doing it YOU SHOULD. Solving a different coding problem every day for 25 days. adventofcode.com

Faced with a problem, trying for days every solution, libs, tutorial and So threads. Getting desperate, reading framework source code. Reading again. Realizing it's just a configuration matter. Feeling stupid like shit

Make a artificial consciousness program that spends its days complaining about stupid people. Drinking coffee and writing code. Sell it and make a butt load of money solving every problem ever.

I have a 5 hour layover until my next flight and all I want to do is code to kill time... the only problem is there is no reachable power outlet..

"The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets",

that being said, I'm struggling with repetitive code, bad indention and illogical logic.

So yeah, I agree with this saying

I had a bug in my code, I was sure I fixed it but when I tested it nothing was charged. I asked my friend to take a look, and when he looked over my code I found out what the problem was: I tested with the older version.

I hate it when I am looking online at someone else's code where they thought they could just paste 50+ lines of code with no formatting! Or even worse, the sites desktop app has formatting, but on mobile, the app just smashes everything together. Does anyone else have this problem?

Does anyone else have the problem with GBoard when you swipe for code it always default to coffee?

Done this a few times.... Client emails, there's a problem with the website and basic details. I check website and quickly fix said problem. Email back, it's fine for me, try refreshing the page or clearing the cache.

We should have a code name for the old clear cache routine. Any ideas?

TFW you complete a TopCoder problem in 20 lines of code, only to find another solution done with 4 lines and you have to spend 15 minutes just to understand it..

What would be the best tips for keeping code clean?

I recently noticed how "unclean" my code is, I try to organize it as much as possible but through that I manage to make the code very messy :/
What are your best tips, advise, tricks... lalala?

Note:
This problem mainly applies to long projects and games :P