My school.

We have free WiFi access, but you need to login into your personal student account to use it.

Turns out, SQL Injection works.
It gets worse.
Table name "schueler".
SELECT *
Well.
Got all data on all students.
Name, address, phone number, passwords in plain.

I reported it using an anonymous email. Partially fixed. Standard quotes now get eacaped. Still, passwords are now MD5.

Got semi drunk and thought "Now would be a good time to implement this feature"
*Codes for 2 hours straight without compiling once*
"Done. Good night"

The next morning:
Gets up and tries out feature
*Fixes 2 syntax errors/typos*
*Tries again*
*Feature works*

Hoorah! My code finally works! Now gotta remove those 1000 print statements I used to identify the bugs 😥

Boss: I can't open the website.

Me: What connection you using boss? Try to switch to LAN cable. Our office wifi a little bit wonky today.
*plug in LAN cable

Boss: Ahaaaaa! It works now. Please, next time make you develop website wifi compatible.

Me: ****

When a customer gets pissed because something doesn't work and you give a bullshit suggestion because you want to reply something at least and you get a reply like 'oh thanks it works now!'

o_O

Fuxk yeah! My code works! It's 2AM, I'm happy and there's no one around, so I wrote a poem :-P

What was once impossible,
Is now close to completion,
Thanks to my debug statements,
Which now await their deletion.

Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.

*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!

Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss

So when everyone is posting their setup. Here is mine with two 34" monitors (curved) and some LEDs because no lamp did fit on the desk anymore :D

I hope it works now because it didn't upload the image the last two attempts...

Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."

A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.

How not to give support..

Me: Creates ticket on support site, letting them know their webservice returns "maintenance" page.
Support: "It works on our end."
Support: *closes ticket*

Euhm.. excuse me?

Me: Creates another ticket with a screenshot and the curl response information..
Support: Sends screenshot back that it works on their end. "Maybe check your firewall"
Support: *closes ticket*

I ain't playing these games..

Me: Creates new ticket with more curl responses from 4 different servers to prove it's not "firewall" related.
Support: ..

2 days later

Me: Sends *friendly* reminder.
Support: ..

6 days later

Me: Creates ticket again saying I'm still having issues.
Support: "I'm forwarding this to our technical support"
Support: *closes ticket*

10 minutes later.

Technical Support: "Here's the manual for our integration .pdf."

Excuse me, you say what now? I KNOW HOW IT WORKS, I'VE WRITTEN THE INTEGRATION ALREADY. THE SERVICE JUST SEEMS TO BE DOWN FFS.. pls..

Me: Sends mail to their project manager who manages the clients dossier with support history and such.
Him: "I'll check it out and let you know."

1 day later.

Support: "We had some issues this and that, wasn't publically availble, works now, .."

What a nice way to waste your time..

I hate when I go on stack overflow to find an answer, and all the comments for the correct answer say, "awesome thanks!", "Works perfectly now, thanks!". While I sit staring at my screen feeling like a complete idiot because I don't understand the given answer at all!

When i was studying Engineering, I used to wonder how programmers works straight 3,4 days without sleep and all.

With today, I completed my 3rd day, with just 2 hours sleep in the last 70 hours.

Now I get it,

This is.. passion,
This is.. love,

This is Life.

Spent hours finding the problem in code. Suddenly something happens! Code works! Now I'm spending hours finding what made it work.

Overheard in a Microsoft DevCamp:

A: I got Bad Request on this page
B: Use the Edge browser
A: OK. It works now

Progression in mindset of a developer trough professional life:

1. I'm going to make my code so efficient and beautiful that everyone will envy it!

2. I'm going to make sure I keep separation of concern.

3. I'm going to make my code at least maintainable for other developers.

4. Well shit. At least it works, for now.

Fuckin hell!!

Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O

Me: tried to HTML like a sad anime girl

(someone spots me)

Dude: yo you're good (I'm just making a bouncing ball in HTML in peace) wanna join our group?

Me: uh sure

(Finds out I just entered a coding competition group going to be sent somewhere minutes later after being added to the Telegram group)

Fuck me

My laptop just took a full cup of coffee and didn't blink an eye.

Thank god for spill resistant stuff that works.

Unfortunately I now how to make a new coffee, so it's not all good news.

Me: the websites now works on all devices.
Client: now make it work on IE6.
*1 week later*
Me: the site now works on IE6 too.
Client: awesome, now make it work on Netscape navigator 5

Tester - The app has a bug when I try to buy a ticket
Me - okay, what's the bug ?
Tester - it shows an error
Me (trying to not high-five him with a chair in the face) - What's the error message?
Tester - ah nvm it works now!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Explain the issue you dimwit, don't just say it doesn't fucking work!

My team member just rewrote all of my code and it looks beautiful and it works but and now i feel like I'm a terrible programmer :'(

We are moving to kubernetes.
Nothing much has changed except we now get to say
it works on my cluster.
instead of
it work on my machine.

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

Me: "Hey <coworker>, I got this mistake do you know why?"
Coworker: "Seems to me like you didn't put <thing> in there"
Me: "No way, I just edited it here"
*looks at file*
"Oh, I didn't save that"
*saves file*
"Oh hey, it works now 😅"
Office: 🤣🤣🤣

Mondays, I guess 🤷‍♂️

I started learning php at age 15, copying code from tutorials, changing stuff until it worked. Now 10 years later I still copy code from tutorials and change stuff until it works...

<This is my first rant, though I've been spectating in readonly mode (ie, without an account) for a while now./>

*Programs all day Saturday adding innumerable lines of code to a new project*
*Builds and runs project*
*Everything not only compiles, but the app works flawlessly*
*Faints*

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhbhhbhhhhh

Finally!!!!!

Oh..

My.

F*ing...

G****t

It finally worked!

Holy shit!

I figured out how to make it work. Only took me like 3 weeks. But it works so smoothly now.... Holy f.

User: “X service doesn’t work.”

Me: “Are you running it using the instructions I gave you?”

User: “No, let me try… Ah, it works now, thanks!”

🙄

Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.

Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.

Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.

Thank goodness for version control.

Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...

Holy shit balls it works (so far)

-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.

I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!

Some dude in upper management: We hear you. We have too many meetings, it's not healthy. From now on we'll have meeting free Friday morning!!!

And then all meetings on Friday morning are re-scheduled on Friday afternoon, or Thursday afternoon.

Yeah this really works, genius!

A friend (also a colleague) of mine had hacked the password of his manager's Netflix account 😆

Well, can't call it as "hacking" in 2018 when you can sneak into an idle laptop and view stored passwords in Chrome.

Now this Netflix account works as a "charitable trust" and more than 30 people are aware of the password 😆

I didn't start coding until my 30s. I enjoy learning spoken languages, and heard on a radio show that computer coding works the same parts of the brain. Tried it and became an addiction. Been building things ever since, and now making it a career.

Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh

Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows

(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.

... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.

Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...

Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward

I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible

An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way

It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux

HELL. YES.

I wrote a complex grid rendering system in c++!

It accepts pixel values and * values (Grid values)

Works very similar to WPF grid, which I LOVE.

The few lines of code needed (On the front end, at least) to do this are in the comments. VERY FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly wake up from sleep and immediately have the solution that has been bothering you for weeks or is it just me?

it happened to me today. woke up and magically had a solution to a problem I had with unity (it works now).

Peaceful protest #2:

Spotify desktop application is blocked due to "bandwidth issues", but web version works fine. Now I listen to music on YouTube, in 1080p, and I like to leave it on for the night...

From now on I am telling everybody I work as a baker. No one will ask me how an oven works, or to repair their croissant.

First rule of Apple beta software: do not talk about Apple beta software.

It doesn’t matter, that there’s PUBLIC beta. You cannot talk about it, cause you violate some idiotic NDA. And then, we get software that looks and works like everyone sees now.

Eat shit, Apple. And all of your fanboys.

So I got myself a rubber duckie, works quite nicely 😊
After third time in one day of boss calling me in and using me as a sound board to solve his problems, I gave him my duckie to use instead. He's happy, I don't get called in anymore, but am now duck-less 😥

I'm home sick for 4 days now and I'm starting to become paranoid about being replaced because I caught one front end dev watching Spring Boot videos on Friday.

I'm the only one who works with it there.

Not feeling well.

ENE = Entitled New Engineer
M = Manager

EOE: "I've been here 6 months and I know how everything works. Can we talk about a promotion?"
M: "No, now begins the period wherein, through your labor, you repay us for overpaying you while you got up to this point."

I found my 1989 GAMEBOY ... Motherfucker still works like a charm 🥰 now to find my nokia 3310 and I'm ready to travel back in time and escape the COVID19

Today I learned that coding in front of a room full of developers while they watch me code, sends me into anxiety mode and I forget how to type properly. Now all my coworkers think i type at 2 works a minute. yay :/

God damnit, I have this too often. Something works in my mind no matter how often I run through it again and again but I've got no clue how to test it for real which brings me into a "mental deadlock" state aaaand then I lose all my programming motivation at once.

Having this right now, fucking annoying.

My JS function is now lazy loading, expressive, and uses 12 fewer lines of code! 😃

It no longer works, but
... no one is perfect. 😅

Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.

Me: *works furiously*

Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?

I've spent three days trying to upload some code to my ESP8266 and it failed every time. Now I just plugged the Arduino at my Desktop and it works. Notebook USB port does not provide enough current I think.

Fucking Android Studio! I fucking updated it, and now fucking nothing works at fucking all..

Sorry, but I gotta go with the inevitable. Apple.

Of course, their older slogan is ironic now. Used to be does more, costs less. Now you can't even upgrade the RAM in most devices and legally can't repair their shit without their permission. The only reason people love Apple is because of the ecosystem. Everything Apple works great with everything else Apple, plus it's very trendy to have that logo plastered everywhere. It's too convenient to leave.

Question, I use VirtualBox and PHPVirtualBox on multiple servers right now. Love it and it works great but I'm wondering if anyone knows any good alternatives?

Requirement is that it's open source :)

Guys guys guys. Conversation had right just now. A PM from the company I’m freelancing for just said

“We need to move away from SQL server and shift all the data to MongoDB. I don’t want it to take more than a month tops”

Verbatim. No context. Nothing. The website is for a small time supply chain software that’s been chugging along for a decade now with spaghetti code everywhere.

How do I even respond? The other guy who works with me sent 😂😂😂 to me privately and now is offline lol wtf

Works as backend developer for 2 years now; Almost fails simple university algorithm course.

I'm contemplating my whole life and career choice right about now.

I love how i finish a project, dont touch ANYTHING for months, then a few months later i try to run it and NOTHING WORKS. I cant start. I cant compile. Now i have to update versions. Now developer mode has to be turned on and restarted phone. Now i have to configure something specific in xcode. Now i have to update xcode. Now it crashes. Now i have to modify something. AND IT NEVWR FUCKING ENDS. I DIDNT TOUCH SHIT SINCE THE LAST TIME I OPENED THIS PROJECT AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FINE. I DIDNT EVEN CHANGE MY PHONE OR PC. I DIDNT EVEN DELETE THE REPOSITORY FROM MY PC. AND BY MAGIC EVERYTHING GOT FUCKED A FEW MONTHS LATER FOR NO REASON. NO. I WILL FUCK YOU. U WONT FUCK ME. FUCK U

First (working) attempts at writing a proxy that rewrites live requests from the devrant app, right now it only rewrites all notifications to be unread

Though the first attempt that finally works is built with mitmproxy and it's add-on scripting, plan is to get that stuff work with e.g. goproxy instead

FUCK SAFARI!!!!! I am developing our new company website and have a deadline tomorrow. It is built with flexbox WHICH SHOULD WORK EVERYWHERE BY NOW. The new website works FINALLY GREAT in all browsers now and then I just tested it in Safari (which I did not do before) on my mac and SO MANY THInGs doNT WORK! WHATTA FCUK?? I EVEN GOT EVERY THING TO WORK IN EDGE?? Is safari the new explorer?! What happened?!

Welp, I dunno about the rest of you folks, but I had a splendid day making a really sexy data viewer with React, Redux, ImmutableJS, react-virtualized, and Radium. And it works fast in IE!

And! Now I'm in a pub, sipping a beer in the summer evening breeze, waiting for my partner so we can order food.

Cheers!

I finally finished my implementation of a suffix array construction algorithm! 😄
It takes about 30 mins to process 1GB of text and uses all available RAM, but it works! 🎉
Now I can optimize it, the original algorithm is 3x faster.

MY OPENCV SIDEPROJECT WORKS!!

Now I can chill in bed and control the computer with a laser pointer :)

Making a Twitch chat bot withing four days after starting to learn programming and python.

The downside is that now that I look a it I feel a bit embarrassed with the mess I made. But hey, it works!

Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.

I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.

"I uploaded the [larger] file, but now it's taking longer to download.." ...yes that is generally how the internet works.

I fucking love Python
It just works :)
Half an hour for a nice evening side project.
Even faster than Twitter takes for approving an app.
im waiting now 1 week...

I FIXED THE FINAL BUG WITH MY OWN SOLUTION AND NOW IT WORKS, I EVEN SENT MY 5GB FUCKING TXT FILE.

ALTHOUGH IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE I FORGOT TO INCREASE THE BUFFER SIZE FROM 1KB SO IT TOOK A BIT.

BUT NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS POLISH, MAKE SOME QUALITY OF LIFE CHANGES AND I CAN PUT THAT SHIT ON GITHUB!

THIS IS MY SECOND FINISHED PROJECT! But I do gotta thank an online friend that has been teaching me the concepts of network programming without him I couldn’t have done it. Also I’ve learned so much about how shit works thanks to him/and the project.

I always missed the window management feature of windows when I switched to macOS. Now thanks to VEEER. It just works and its free.

Just implemented a design from a UI/UX designer in code. Works perfectly on iOS, now to test on android.

if (boolValue == true) ...
I know it works, but just kill me now.

Turns out I had some conversion issues and timing issues in the SD card file parser that I wrote... wtf it worked before I swear

It fully works now!!! I can now finally load presets from an SD card and apply them to the screen at my leisure.

I feel like Stackoverflow is a fastfood for programmers mind. It gives you a solution you starve for. It may be not the best quality, but it works for now. It does not satisfy you in a long run, and may be too shallow for advancing. But it works and gives you more to think about.

I would never find a quick solution to parse a string with regex. I never thought it works this way. But hey, I'm happy.

Can't believe this, my boss was pushing me to deploy the new mobile app version and now that its done he is traveling and didn't migrate the data that the app needs to works....

Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).

This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.

Me: "hey we should do this new project in react!"
Boss: "no he barrier to entry is to tough for our team"

Boss talks to past employee(which he had to let go because he was a TERRIBLE developer who now works for facebook....) about new project, past employee recommends react....

Team is now going to work on a new project written with react......

For the first time in my life windows 10 repair fixed the PC?

Was getting bluscreen regarding unmountable boot, memory management then try to open it now it started diagnosing your PC.
Started reading devrant it fixed the problem and it works now.

The layout for my little side project was working fine in IE last week. Made some server side additions over the weekend and now the layout is broken... in IE only. Guess who's putting in a user-agent redirect to a "Works best in Chrome or Firefox" page? 😉

Well thank you, now i have a usseles monitor, or atleast it works..

It worked! After all those years I've talked someone into linux'ising all theit workstations :) now that someone is eventually convinced it would solve most of the problems. Now they are collecting all the bau requirements. Next - testing phase. And then, if all works out well - reinstalling 100+ workstations with linux :)

yayyy

Recently bought some programmer T-shirts
made me popular, now I am known as the guy with the cool shirts.one of them has this on it:
2b || !2b ? "2b" : "!2b"

my fav joke now

I use these shirts to make friends and it actually works, you should also try ;)

Going back to Windows for now. Everything just works™

Today I was working on an issue related to adding icons to external links. I'm no CSS ninja, I never claimed to be. Somehow I wrote some really nice CSS that works well cross-browser. Now I'm scared they're gonna think I'm good at CSS.

People who complain about wordpress have probably never tried working with Magento.

I've been going through their documentation for about 3 hours now, trying to figure out how this entire system works. And I'm no where close to understanding it...

As someone who used to be a full-time Dev, but now works in other areas that sometimes don't quite scratch that tech itch, I find that each visit to Deviant inspires me more and more to work on personal Dev projects. Don't know how or why, but it just does. Go DevRant!

In the very rare occasion that I boot into windows instead of linux is when I want to use Photoshop to edit some photos - usually works fine. USUALLY. I now see why everyone complains about windows updates

copied a code for android from stackoverflow and it worked
edited the code no more works
removed the code and pasted the original code from stackoverflow and still doesnt work
clean and build and now the code starts to work

Oh, it's finally done and works well!
Oh, let me just optimize that a little... And probably rename this...

5 minutes later:
Shit it does not work now.
10 hours of debugging later:
I'll fix it later

To all new devs:
Commit more regularly

Literally just happened now, happy but surprised. It’s the best feeling ever when it just works though.

After at least half a year of using a computer that froze or crashed at least every 10 minutes I finally replaced the faulty stick of ram.

Now it works beautifully and I'm dissapointed in myself for not doing it earlier.

Fuck Monday and SAs... Just arrived at office and logged in:

Consider changing your password:

**Ok... Enters new password**

We're sorry your password is invalid

?????

Let's I already have a lower, uppercase letter, a number

....

Adds a symbol

**works**

Difference in security though? 0.... But now I have one more thing too remember...

Finally had the time to implement that feature I wanted all the time. Testing now and everything works just fine again. Very suspicious.

When college professors want students to do college portal's works.
ACCEPT THE FUCKING WORK.

DO NOT CHANGE THE INITIAL REQUIREMENT WHILE I'M WORKING ON IT.

DO NOT CHANGE MY WORK WITHOUT ASKING ME OR AT THE LEAST NOTIFYING ME.

YOUR PORTAL LOOK HORRIBLE NOW WITH SHIT TIER MENU WHICH I SUGGESTED IN THE FIRST PLACE THAT IT WOULD LOOK GOOD THIS WAY. AND NOW YOU'VE MADE IT LOOK SO BAD MY EYES HAVE CANCER.

So today's the day.

We've now successfully installed four Ubiquity AP's with a Ubiquity Security Gateway onto a 1000/1000 fiber line. Feels really nice when you're finished with the cable laying and everything just works™. Just getting the fiber in there was a project of its own, but now it's all complete. Tommorow I'll be working from home, and on Monday I guess I'll be bombarded with connectivity issues. Oh well, let's enjoy the weekend first 😁

There's nothing like staying up all night, writing code at 3am by candlelight, drinking whiskey...

Or I can go to bed at 9pm Friday night feeling like absolute crap. That works too... Fuck having the flu, just kill me now...

🎶Lemon Tree🎶
I wonder why,
I wonder how,
This stupid piece of code actually works right now.
And all that I could see, it's actually compiling...

(Happens all the time)

I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.

So it works now.

I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.

<error>
*works on fixing error for 1.5 hours*

compile, run.

<new error>

*Squints eyes*

*"fixes" in 30 mins*

compile, run...

success?

<first error again>

now i am contemplating whether what should be thrown out the window is the pc or myself...

Added a bond interface in my Proxmox installation for added cromulence, works, reboot again, works, reboot once more just to be sure, network down.. systemctl restart networking, successfully put the host's network back up.. lxc-attach 100, network in containers is still down apparently.. exit container, pct shutdown 100, pct start 100, lxc-attach again... Network now works fine in containers too.

Systemd's aggressive parallelization that likely tried to put the shit up too early is so amazing!
I'm literally almost crying in despair at how much shit this shitstaind is giving me lately.

Thank you Poettering for this great init, in which I have to manually restart shit on reboot because the "system manager" apparently can't really manage. Or be a proper init for that matter.

/rant

And yes I know that you've never had any issues with it. If you've got nothing better to say than that then please STFU. "Works for me" is also a rant I wrote a while back.

Fuck it! It works for now push it to prod! I’ve been here 12 hours!

"Got a new soundcard yay, lemme Install it!"
*5 mins later*
"why won't it give me sound ffs, the input works just fine"
*5 mins later*
"Great, sound output works"
*taps mic*
"oh ffs..."
*5 mins later*
"yay, input now works"
*puts on some music*
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHINEDOWS!?"

Boss tells me to cleanup prod drives deleting anything older than a year.

So I find a script for that and run it after making sure works.

Told them it's done and freed up 20% but now they've gone silent.... 🤔🤔🤔🤔😥😥😥😥😥😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟

Oh, I did it again!
Everytime I think I will write proper standard code with full documentation, but well, guess who didn't write documentation... And now forgot how his own code works.

In my company I now have 3 browsers.

Chrome for company stuff that only works in Chrome.

Safari for company stuff that only works in Edge or Safari.

And Firefox for actual work.

🤡

Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.

0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report

This is a well approved method.
It always works!

Fuck, my client uses Internet Explorer!
Have being wondering why things never works in his browser. Damn! Now I understand.

Today the struggle was real.

But damn if it isn't days like this where you learn real shit.

Fighting with a debian VM for half the day to make a local development environment. I'm tired, but everything works, the project looks good, and I'm just sorta angry/tired/proud now.

I learned so much, and now want pie. I am going to go eat some pie.

scar tissue riff by red hot chili peppers now helped me get laid twice. first was in high school, second was yesterday. it works like a fast track first class level skip access to that pussy
going without it takes days
with it takes minutes

I'm starting to like you now, senior cuz you just uploaded my recent works.

Yoga really works for concentration and focus !
Debugging is faster now :)

Which sport u do ?

Best Programmer's Breakup:
* me * used to code in Javascript and PHP
* Girl * Also a Programmer

Me: You are a semicolon to my code.
Girl: Awwwwwww.. That's so sweet.
Me: * Trying to breakup * I recently switched to Python and want to use only a single language now.

* It Works! *

P.S.: Still use all three Languages ❤

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

My self confidence has so much improved that I now admire both my pictures and myself in the mirror.

Therapy works yo!

With the help of obs virtual camera, now I can join meeting like this

It’s real time not just a video, idk if gif works correctly on devrant now, but it’s me dancing

Edit: apparently gif still doesn’t work on devrant

School group project: Pipeline is done, everything deploys automatically, microservices work in development, https everywhere, Docker is bae, everything works perfectly

Now I have to work on frontend stuff ;_;

When you ask your infrastructure admins for a firewall rule and you are very specific. They say that you don't need it... you troubleshoot for 2 hours then argue with them for 5 hours. Then they add the rule and it works. I want to punch someone right now and have a beer. FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When a password hint tool throws an error saying your password is too weak, you then remove a symbol and it now works 👌

The whole application was tested by 1 QA who was uploading only one 3MB file.
Now on production ~300 users upload in a batch one hundred 100 MB files... and nothing works now
WHO WOULD EXPECT THAT?

Ok here goes me trying to explain some logic here, I apologise in advance!

I've been using an axis based movement system for my games for a while now but always had the issue of characters moving faster diagonally because the movement shape would form a square; meaning things would move at twice the speed.

Only now thought 'hang on, direction's act as circles when given a radius..'

Suddenly everything works perfectly fine and all it took was 3 lines of code... Well done Alex you tool.

So an app I use for real-time train schedules broke last week and the official app is really slow, UI is bloated/bad devs.

I figured out the HTTP calls so started writing my own, spent 2 days and basic functionality works but...

Now the other app is working again...

Feels like wasted effort now :(

So i I got confused on how xor works and fucked up the whole interview
That is after writing all code correctly

I wrote the truth table wrong
I am doing this for 7 years now how can I make this mistake ☠️ fml

So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.

Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.

Since I started working at my current job, I've been growing to admire agile development more and more (or the ideal at least) to the point where I manage my LIFE with an agile perspective now!

It honestly works so well! 😁

I've finally got a monitor at work that works with Samsung Dex.
Positive things:
- new super cool monitor
- can remove windows now from the dual boot of the laptop since everything I needed it for can be now done on Dex.

Negative things:
- DevRant doesn't work with Dex. It just doesn't load properly. But maybe it will work through a browser. Need to test...

When you spend more than 1 hour trying to find a solution to your code project and then the solution was way to simple to work and it works at first try 😨 (feeling stupid right now 😢)

- Writes a short decent code. Doesn't work.
- Refactores it with variables and function. Automatically works.
- Changes back to the original form. Freaking works now.

Wtf.!!!
Oh! The lord of bugs and errors, have mercy on me.

I invested in a brand new 27" curved monitor to work more efficiently with my laptop but now
HDMI isn't recognized by my linux distro on dual boot where it works perfectly with fucking windows and it used to work nice before the latest update
Tried to install official nvidia drivers to try to fix that
🙃 Guess who has a fucked up X configuration now 🙋🏾‍♂️

Going through a startup code
...
// TODO: implement!
...
// FIXME: this is so messed up
...
...
// HACK: works for now, find a better way
...
// HACK: hardcoded for now
...
// FIXME: this doesn't work, crash here
...
...
// TODO: this probably should be a separate class
...
// TODO: change messed up variable names
...
// FIXME: WTF is this, Dave?!
...
...
// TODO: remove this before release

FUCK.
NEXTJS.

...

THIS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT WORKED 4 DAYS AGO.

I CHANGED ***NOTHING***.

4 DAYS LATER I START THE PROJECT AGAIN AND HALF THE STUFF BREAK. NOTHING FUCKING WORKS!!!!!!!

SOMETIMES IT WORKS SOMETIMES IT BREAKS

MESSAGES GET SENT SUCCESSFULLY 2-3 TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN Random 401 error

Random page glitch flickering when routing to new pages rendering the content blank

Random list map iteration crashes on ui dev side

This is such a fucking SHIT

Now i started my angular and spring boot exact same project that i stopped worjing on since october 2023 AND EVERYTHING WORKS FINE WITHOUT ANY RANDOM ERRORS

RANDOM ERRORS ONLY HAPPEN FOR NEXTJS FUCKSHIT FUCKING FRAMEWORK

FUCKIEST DOGSHIT GORILLACUM MAD FUCKIJNNGG RETARD FRAMEWORK FOR AUTISTICS I WASTED SO MUCH TIME LEARNING THIS PIECE OF FUCKING GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!

Eyyyy, finished installing and it even looks like I didn't fuck anything up.
Will reboot now to see that it's actually installed and works.
Was less complicated than the wiki made it look.

This makes me laugh a lot. I changed my online ledger app to use a unicode character in the URL, which I should probably just use a rewrite rule to accomplish, but for now just to see if it works I tried it out. After confirming that it does, I commited it.

Valgrind is awesome. Today I fixed a lot of memory leakage / overflow bugs thanks to it. An guess what? Now, everything works!

I've never been a frontend guy, I only could modify existing FE code and had some clues about how to write a hello-world using angular.

I've just refactored ~150 files in an Angular project, created half a dozen new modules and modularized lots of loose artefacts.

And after recompiling the project still works! And is now more maintainable!

I think I now can safely add "Angular" to my resume :)

P.S. Damn it, Angular is cool!!!

Too lazy to come up with a better name...

Yea... the app still works...

5th time editing the crawler logic... 2 years now?

Has anyone ever just completely forgotten literally everything about how a language works?

I use to be fairly good at Vala as and now I can't even remember how to load fucking CSS or use inline CSS .-.

Shouting to my chromecast for more than a week because it kept crashing.

Factory reset -> total 1h re-configuring, works perfectly again. One hour was all that was needed.

I know the list with alternatives comes now, but I really see this as the perfect device. Does exactly what I want.

Damn, this experience made me violent as F.

I think I'm getting old... I may buy an iPhone next because it "just works" and I don't care that much about gaming or need buy that many different apps...

Being deaf the voice transcription and better mic and camera... Now seem just worth the lockdown...

Thoughts?

!rant

Unity for Linux actually works 🤟🤟🤟

Last time I checked it didn’t go well at all. Has been years ago though..

Now lets start building some 3D stuff.

spent the entire day trying to get ssl to work 😩
it works now, but honestly, it's draining to spend so much time on config

Finally after 4 hours head banging now I understand how react native navigation works.

Really glad to see how it's turning out

I just switched from Arch to Fedora...

I know I know that all the cool kids use arch, but right now I'm not up for checking out random gdm bugs or some other manual tasks. I need a stable, fairly supported and well maintained distro and fedora just works!

I'm actually making something for someone now. That means I have to make sure it works in IE. Which means no ES6. I die a little inside every time I type 'var'. 😫

Spent half the day trying to make something work. It wasn’t working before I started and I wasn’t making any progress. I don’t know why my changes weren’t working. So I yanked out everything I changed and put it back the way it was before I started. It works now. I don’t know why it works. I give up. 😂

I swear I get multiple emails every week from a person who's forgotten their password but instead insists our software is broken. "Account Broken, Can't Login!"

I've started just replying to these emails without even checking their accounts anymore -- or even opening up the system.

I'll say, "I'm sorry to hear that! I've looked into your account and it should work now."

I always get a reply back "THANKS! It works great now!"

Then I facepalm.

I'm currently trying to a finish a project that business partner quoted for and gave me six weeks to write the backend CMS, front end web version of the apps and an iOS and Android app for each including payment integration and the works. It's so over due now and it's taking me all the energy I have not to quit.

P.S My business partner has now left the business leaving me to pick up the pieces :-(

Replaced camera in my phone, it arrived when I was heading to the pub so after 3 beers I came back and everything works now.

Looks like it’s better to fix things when not sober.

"We are releasing today" - sentence my project/tech manager keep saying for a week now. Of course, we changed few core components during the week - because, why not - and nothing works now.

We recently started using a Redis cache for our application, and our boss has now taken to blaming Redis for every single incident we have - all because he doesn't understand how it works, and doesn't want to >.>

I’m currently working on the profile view in JoyRant, which turns out to be much more work than I thought.

Anyway, after many iterations on the appearance, I’m now finally satisfied about how it looks and works. Especially the category picker (Rants, ++’s, Comments, Favorites).

What do you think? Do you like it?

I was going crazy for not understanding it.
I went to binary to decimal converters.
I tried applying my own messed up logic.
I was about to post a rage rant.
Now i realized how it works.. fml

And yes, i took a picture of my monitor, enjoy eye cancer :)

DevRant-API-Docs Site Update:
QA is in the works. Will try to keep it as simple as possible!

The "all questions" page front end is done. Now there's only the "new question" page and the "view question" page.

Working with Electron is a nightmare...
"Hey you have a working app? Nice, here is the new Electron version which breaks everything! Now find out how stuff works now, because we won't tell you! Good luck"

Everybody hates facebook!
I have been receiving alert request to use since 2018 by firefox. Maybe i will enable now and see how it works.

upgrade to the latest pre-release of Xamarin forms for a shiny new feature, now nothing works even after reverting. You'd think I should know better by now.

Was writing a multithreaded program in Java with an infinite while loop (for waiting). The thread was never preempted. Added a print statement inside the while loop and everything started working :/

Now I need to print a stupid message just so the program works :P

Does anybody else drink strong coffee in order to actually get RID of a headache? It works for me....but now I've got to continually drink coffee every few hours for the rest of my life.

I've been here for almost a year now but was too lazy to sign up. It was only a commute or lunch timepass thing.
But finally few days ago something so frustrating happened that I actually signed up. I dint post it as it would have been immature but now that the plus icon works I finally can post stuff..!

Webpacker works on branch master.

Webpacker doesn't work on the "back-end" branch.

I didn't touch anything javascript related between the branch's creation and now.

Why. Why why why why why.

The moment when you can't get something working for the love of God, you call a colleague who suggest the simplest and already tried out solution, which magically now works.

Then he goes back to his place and your code breaks again.

I am feeling so powerful right now I can not describe it.
I found out how I can get the methods and params outta LINE.
Now that I finally understand Apache Thrift and how it works with the LINE servers, I can make a thrift file, generate communication files for the LINE servers and use them for any programming language I want. Means that I can switch to a faster language than Python. Finally :)

I'm so ready for VR now!!! Just need the Daydream headset that is supposed to be delivered tomorrow...

And hope the OP6 hack works....

You just finished building your site and it works perfectly but now it is time to test it on IE.

I am working for a company that has developed a custom CMS but has no documentation written for it and now no-one knows how it works... Best thing is that it advertises it in its website. Good job!

When your gtx660 has been baked twice and works for 8 years but your rtx2070 dies at release of the 3080

God is sending signals. Sad now that I have to work with that old wanker yet again

Went to a Big Data workshop, now I know why there's a elephant as hadoop's logo and how it came. Still no clue how it works.

I changed nothing but now it works.

It's been over one week since I started battling this bug. I guess I'm glad it's fixed, but how, and why?

Oh the joy of enterprise software development in a legacy system. I just wanted to add a new checkbox with a small feature and now I'm balls deep in age old half decent documentation and just have to pray it works. Implementation time: about 2 days or so

Alright apache2.2 with php5.6 session upload progress works, client has apache2.4 and php7 on his server...now... WHY THE HELL DON'T IT WORK. All THE DAMN REQUIREMENTS ON THE DAMN DOCS ARE THERE. Fuck i could have went to bed and made the same progress

Intel drivers suck!

For months since I've gotten this work loaner PC it has been randomly crashing. Lately I noticed it is only when watching videos or listening to music. Googled the issue and found one other person with a similar issue who uninstalled the drivers. Now the thing runs fine! F.lux isn't the happiest but it still works.

> wanting to add an embed google maps to a website I'm working on for fun, with React
> Check the API documentation, excepted their iframe they create from your needs, not much info about how to set in a a js framework
> decide to check if anyone has already created something with React
> They did! 1 american dude, one polish, one last from idk where
> The rest is basic doc so let's try each of them
> Errors, errors everywhere
> Screens stays awefully white
> Spend 2 hours checking, checking and checking again each library
> Each of them have a different problem
> Fuck this, let's copy the iframe thingy from Google's doc, adapt 1 or 2 things because of React and run npm
> Google maps works on first try

Sometimes code behaves weird !!.

Spent all night trying to get something to work but now it works weirdly and I honestly don't know what to do anymore as it's not the type of thing you would be able to explain on tack overflow.

Time to sleep 5:51 AM

Today I found github student developer pack thing. It was the golden chance to sharpen my git skills at least I thought so.. 2 hours tried to figure out how does "merge" works in gitkraken and now I'm depressed..

Spent an hour trying to figure out why Chrome wouldn't work at all. Even IE was working on my laptop.
Restarted the whole thing.
Now it works.....and I already lost most of my motivation to code. Just great...

FUCK!!! I JUST FINISHED WRITING THE MOST AWESOME RANT BUT THE APP CRASHED RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO POST....

TLDR: I wrote an old app and now need it again and amazingly it works...

This pic is now not so effective anymore but that was how I was feeling when I was writing the original

Something happened to my internetz now streaming is very slow. Git works fine, but I stopped wanking and watching youtube.
I'm not complaining

There is now a new subfield in web3 called DeSci which is decentralized science of studying memecoins and how to go from rags to riches just like one guy bought a shitcoin for $27 and now he cashed out $8m a few days ago

Web3 is absolute joker clown world dystopian shithole where only the rich get richer by taking the money from poor and middle class.

But if you think about it this is exactly how the whole web2 even works! The whole world works exactly like this and web3 has just helped us amplify the gruesome truth of reality

I totally forgot how bad working with JavaScript is. After like a year of working with properly typed TypeScript base where navigation and documentation works very well, now I am in a world where IDE (IntelliJ IDEA) does very little, essentially it's just now a stupid editor. After few days I miss TypeScript already.

In SublimeText, I noticed that my markdowns formatting was not showing up correctly— I decided to download the new markdown package altogether hoping for some kind of update/fix. Turns out the package comes with a super ugly color theme which overrides the default theme of SublimeText. After some googling and experimenting, I found way to override this through the package settings. I always use git through my terminal but I thought let’s try to use git through my code editor and see how it works. I downloaded the git package but then I notice that git tool shows status and all correctly but doesn’t push files to GitHub (it says fatal: unable to read current working directory). Then I download another application called SublimeMerge. It works correctly on its own (pushes files to GitHub) but SublimeText is still not doing the same. Then I tinker around with my SSH keys hoping for a fix, but nothing works. I even go to stackoverflow and search for a solution but I find nothing (I even wrote a post asking for a solution but no replies till now). Fuck it! I now open the file with VSCode. Open terminal within VSCode and add/push/commit through it and everything works perfectly. So goodbye SublimeText I guess 👋🏾

Client calls and rants about that he lost mails. He deleted them and says they are now gone. His previous hoster didn't delete trashed mails and he always looked them up inside of it. We told him that this is how our server works. It deletes deleted mails. And we obviously didn't transfer old deleted mails.

Laptop's WiFi module wasn't working.
Opened it and blew on the pins.
Now it works.

I been practising lucid dreaming since a few years. It works and is amazing. Now I'm trying to use this moment of subconscious awareness to improve my ideas when sleeping. Yes, I kinda want to work in my dreams, when my brain has other mechanisms active. Can tell you, looks like it is possible!

Your thoughts???

Them: "We need you to do this thing this way because it isn't possible to do the right way."

Me: ... *codes script that works the right way*

Them: "But it was actually this other thing we didn't say anything about that isn't possible."

Me: ... *codes script with new condition, still works*

Now repeat daily for 2 weeks and we may get to where I don't just silently provide a working script.

Maybe I should have just done it the wrong way to begin with?

What the fuck? Been trying to see rants all day long at work and at home and DevRant was super weird as if I wasnt connected, which I was...

Tested jsrant.com and the api was working...

Connected to a VPN on digital ocean and everything works flawlessly, dinconected from VPN and DevRant is off again...

Now on VPN... Wtf...

That moment when you find a function called with faulty arguments or a referece mistaken and fix it and code actually works now aaaaand you wake up.. i started to dream about the same code cause i keep rewriting it for different reasons.. what a life

Fun fact: in macOS Safari, you can copy text from images. It works on videos as well when you press pause and wait five seconds. This is the next-level web browsing UX — now I can copy text from an image on the internet and paste it anywhere I want.

Argh my Macook Pro utterfly keyord no longer works! How am I suppose to code now?

Programming in a nutshell:

"I changed nothing and it now doesn't work. Why?"
"I changed nothing and it now works. Why?"

Ok idk about anyone else but m facing this weird thing with CLion now...
When i run the program... It freaking shows output in RANDOM manner!!!
Like seriously, the lines which shud b output sequencially r all jumbled up!! I ran it on terminal and it works correctly...
Quite weird for something like this to happen on CLion

Btw... Other than this, i really love CLion now... Its awesome!

So some notification types are broken again (at least ++ notifs are not), ++ counts don't update again, search finds next to nothing, and the weekly doesn't work properly either (I saw wk288 topic once but can't find it anywhere now).

It still works better than the thing I'm currently dealing with.

Are rants against oneself allowed here? Anyway, instead of writing code based on half-assed guesses just FUCKING STOP and FUCKING THINK about the problem at hand! This way you don't have to bang your head against the keyboard. POOR KEYBOARD! Anyway, now it works and I need sleep.

It's 1:22 am, and what am I doing? Rewriting my Smite Team Generator as a standalone Java library. I have plans on completely revamping how the Android front-end for it works as well. I really wish I didn't have the desire to do this right now so I could go to sleep.

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"